what do YOU want to do?

[Guest guest]

Newland used to ask some members, okay, what do YOU want to do? Are YOU better off in this marriage or out of it. If the answer is the latter, then get on to a divorce lawyer and consider your options. To my mind, ITS THE BEHAVIOR, not the label, that matters.- Helen

That really is the bottom line for YOU. No one lives your life but YOU. Boards like ours and support groups are great in some ways, but they don’t live with you. At the end of the day you are all alone with him.

When Larry and I split I was ready to leave and my mantra was NEW BEGINNINGS. I did not look back but FF and like Helen said, Larry and I are better friends but we were toxic as a married couple due to our differences. I had him over for dinner last week and he is great in small amounts for me and my new life.

I agree, it is not the label but the behavior. Think hard and long, maybe a separation, don't make any decision in anger would be my advice. When U make a decision, go for it and don't look back. He made his decision long ago and U sound like U have been climbing a sand hill with him? He is a big boy; you are not responsible for him. Think of U and the kids. Think hard. You are at a fork in YOUR road in life. Consult an attorney and know your rights.

Most importantly, don't cry wolf. Make your decision for U!!!!! The rest of the Universe will not part, life may cease to exist as U know it but like Annie always said, "the sun will come out tomorrow." Believe in YOU. Take care of you. Break the cycle and you will find the best to come for you is just around the corner, out of reach waiting for YOU…. It was for me and many I know. It takes guts and support to leave if this is your choice. ASPIRES does not advocate divorce but we have never sanctioned abusive behavior. We are here for you, regardless of your decision.

No regrets, just moving FF with new beginnings that never seem to end…..