Re: Is it hard to get married with CMT as a man or woman?

[Guest guest]

Not hard for me. I have been married happily 24 years.

[Guest guest]

Well, marriage problems are for both CMT people and not CMT people.

Being a human being, the 1st thing is that we need to love and accept

ourselves unconditionally first, many people dislike themselves, even they have

no CMT. For a person who doesn't really accept and love himself or herself

unconditionally, the person will require others to love and accept him or her in

order to be able to feel loved and accepted, unfortunately, this kind of

emotional dependency

is unhealthy for any kind of relationship, including marriage.

Marriage is one kind of human relationship.

Also, healthy self-image is very important. For a person of healthy

self-image, when he or she meet someone special, he or she will ask whether he

or she really like the other person, rather than whether the other person like

him/her or not. This is about taking

ownership of own's life.

A healthy human being respect his/her free will and he/she also

respect others' free will. That is, the issue is not whether the other

person like me or not, the other person has the free will to decide whether

he/she like me or not, his/her free will should be respected. The real issue is

whether I like him/her or not.

Being clear about our feelings and respect others' decisions to love us back or

not. This is mature love.

The love issues are not only for CMT people, but for all human beings.

CMT is one part of ourselves. CMT is not a problem. We are not a problem.

Caroline

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I am not married but live with my partner and our son, since 14 years back. I

don't think it is harder to get married if you have CMT. For me, I just don't

want to get married, I feel it is a bad thing for women to get married. I have

my own money and support myself, so no need for common economy. I like to spend

my money the way I want to, I am very independent. To take care of our son - we

can do that without a marriage license. But I respect other people's thoughts. I

feel it is a lot harder to get married if you have a psychological disorder,

than a physiological one, as CMT. When I was younger, I thought boys/men see the

CMT first, and me after, and  maybe it is so to start with, but once they get to

know you it is the opposite. My brother (has CMT too since childhood) is married

and has got two kids.

But it would be interesting to know if someone exerienced a problem?

Beata

 

[Guest guest]

,

This is also something I have pondered over the years. I started with symptoms

at 22, right in the prime of dating. I did get married at 24 and he knew about

CMT before we got married. The marriage ended 2 short (or long!) years later.

I was then single for 18 years until i met my current husband. I tried out

singles ads, a local dating service and internet dating. I did not like any of

these ways, because i felt like if I advertised my disability there would be

preconceived notions about who I am. But if I did not disclose it up front and I

showed up with a cane and my balance issues, then I looked like i was deceptive.

So I chose to only meet men in person (while I was out with my friends) and if

they decided they liked what they say, then they could ask me out. Went through

many stages of not telling what was " wrong " with me to being nonchalant and

honest.

I do feel like CMT was a problem for most men when I was dating, because when

dating, people tend to look for perfection. I think as we get older, people's

problems get bigger, so they are more open to others challenges.

When I met my husband, our mutual friends were trying to fix him up with several

of my girlfriends. In other words, no one thought of me because they did not

think he could handle it or that he would choose to. Well, they were wrong. We

had an instant attraction to each other, I told him about CMT on our 2nd date

and he couldn't have been more compassionate and right on. He said he did not

see it, because what he saw instead was my smile and my personality.

As far as whether it is harder for men or women, I have my ideas, but I can only

speak from the woman's side!

Jackie

[Guest guest]

The hardest part was finding shoes for the ceremony. I make no apologies for

the CMT. I am who I am with strengths and weaknesses.

Happily married after turning down other proposals. We have a 16 month old baby

- he tested negative for CMT1A (my type), but is being tested for a mysterious

problem with his immune system (much worse than CMT...).

I believe that he will outgrow this. My intuition leans heavily towards a clean

bill of health for . Having a child was one of the best decisions that

I made.

Chris

[Guest guest]

I don't feel that CMT will stop you from finding love and settling down.

Sometimes people, who are perfectly healthy have trouble in the love department.

I feel the most important thing is to get out there and do what you love. Follow

your passion. Volunteer. Go to events. Have a great time and people will be

drawn to you. I am married but did not get my diagnosis until after. But I can

say that I have a friend, who is paralyzed from the waist down. And he is

married to a very beautiful and successful woman and they have two children

together. If you have dreams of getting married one day, don't let CMT get in

the way of that dream.

[Guest guest]

I told my husband early in our dating about CMT and it made no difference for

him. We now have two gorgeopus kiddos! There are so many factors in

relationships and finding a good fit can be a challenge with or without CMT.

[Guest guest]

Respect other people's free will (in choosing their life partners)

Supposed I have CMT. A man reject to marry me, due to my CMT. Then, if I feel

sad or hate him,a more spiritually and emotionally mature way to cope with this

situation is:

You do not give him the right to freely choose whom to love and accept, you

coerce him to love, accept, and marry me,

you feel rejected and hated when he asserts this freedom

you refuse him the right to be wrong without being hated and totally denied.

This is a freedom you very much wish for yourself and you deeply resent it when

others do not grant it to you.

The weak point is where you are most bound and anxious. Ask yourself what it is

that you want from the other person -- where you are bound, resentful, afraid,

weak, and unable to assert yourself? This is your leash, which can be given up

only when you stop wanting from others what you must supply from yourself. ---

Love and Accept ourselves unconditionally. Whatever it is you find you need

from others, verbalize it concisely to yourself. This will bring you nearer to

letting go. You will then know that this is precisely

where you enslave, weaken, and paralyze yourself. You will then experience a

new, resilient strength coming out of you that suddenly conciliates apparently

insoluble problems. You will become free as you let free. Only when you can let

go -- on the ego level -- in the areas where you exert force, can you gain or

win -- on the level of Creation -- the power to form a good life.

Conversely, your inability to give up, to let free, to be fair;

your insistence to win and have your way, your refusal to lose on this

ego-level, makes it impossible to win where it counts and makes it

impossible for you to find your real strength.

A real story of mine,

A man told me that when he really loves me, he overlooks my misadvantage, that

is, CMT I reply to the man ---- I think CMT is my advantage. The issue here for

me is not whether you will overlook my CMT or not, the issue here is that I

don't really feel that I love you.

Creat a life you really enjoy, know your own feelings, pursue what you want, and

let other people have the same right as we want to , e.g., choosing their

marriage partners.