To parents of outspoken, emotional or affectionate Aspies....... !

[Guest guest]

Hello all,

Hope everyone is doing alright.

Do any of your children who are in the spectrum are affectionate or emotional.

Do any of your children worry about others health or well being?

Do any of your children are outspoken and which gender your child is.

I think that Sondra said that one of her daughters is outspoken and also social.

I am both, yet I also keep to myself. I chose whom to be social with and prefer being the one who initiate things. All depends whom I am with and how much I feel safe with the person or persons.

I do socialize fine, even thought when I get home I feel drained and want to sleep. Yet I do a good job at the social stuff. Specially if there is good reason to go socialize.

I know that the books might say that a lot of us who are in the spectrum do not socialize, or are not outspoken. I do not feel that "all" of us are at the same level when it comes to socializing, however I do feel that woman might find it easier than guys to do so.

I believe that one of 's children also socializes to a degree, but I am not sure if I am incorrect.

Also in some books they mentioned some of us NOT being affectionate, but I am affectionate to a big degree. I like affection and cuddling, but not with just anyone. I like doing this with someone I am like or want to have some sort of romantic relationship.

I am very affectionate with my nieces and with my brothers as they give great hugs! they are also nice and I trust them.

Just because I am in the spectrum it does not means that I am not affectionate, some of us seem to have plenty of it.

My dad who was a hard core Aspie was affectionate. He hugged us and he was lovable to us, his children. He did not like others to touch him at all. Yet he was affectionate with the people he knew and cared about.

Mother on the other hand was totally the opposite of my dad. She never hugged us, or had a good comment for most of us, except for one of my brothers.

She was dead alive so to speak, never had much to say and it was just annoying for my dad who was the very affectionate Aspie. He actually craved affection, but did not get it from her.

Anyway, I would like to know if there are any Aspie children who are affectionate or any Aspie adults here in the list who are affectionate.

Perhaps there are different type of Asperger's, the ones that are the "go get it type" the ones who "don't go".

I also believe that gender has a lot to do with being affectionate or not, or outspoken or not.

In any case, your input will be appreciated.

I truthfully believe that any medical criterion for people in the spectrum should also mention that some of us are affectionate and able to reciprocate affection. Not all of us are unable to reciprocate, I think "upbringing" has a lot to do with it as well.

Books should be revised and also change when it comes to showing all the people who are in the spectrum and are able to make the connections needed to live in a more harmonious world with others.

Sincerely,

.

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[Guest guest]

Hello (sorry i still can't cut messages, i will learn promise!)

My hubby Gilroy, is very anti social, he does not give affection, will only answer if spoken to and will not instigate a conversation, he withdraws into himself if he is emotional about something and does not display upset publicly. Adam our 13 year old son will chat away to anyone, but only if he likes the look of them, he is always 'sizing' people up, he relates better to adults than his peers, he does not like physical affection and i have often chased him for a hug which he gives under duress and for seconds rather than minutes, he will give me a quick hug and kiss when his mini bus comes to take him to school but will pull away from me if i try to hug him back. My neighbour's daughter will not socialise at all, yet if she is familiar with people and likes them she will give some really heart felt cuddles and will want to stay by your side holding your hand. My hubby is oblivious to medical problems of others, i have a broken wrist and he acts

as if i can still cope with everyday chores, my son keeps coming to me to ask if im ok, do i need anything, what can he do to help etc, he often tells his dad off for not realising i need help, he always seems to notice 'things' before his dad and i often think who's the parent! My husband will not socialise voluntarily and like you is completely drained of energy from using all his strength trying to 'fit in'.

Hope this helps a little.

Elaine

To: aspires-relationships Sent: Saturday, 8 November, 2008 5:55:09Subject: To parents of outspoken, emotional or affectionate Aspies....... !

Hello all,

Hope everyone is doing alright.

Do any of your children who are in the spectrum are affectionate or emotional.

Do any of your children worry about others health or well being?

Do any of your children are outspoken and which gender your child is.

I think that Sondra said that one of her daughters is outspoken and also social.

I am both, yet I also keep to myself. I chose whom to be social with and prefer being the one who initiate things. All depends whom I am with and how much I feel safe with the person or persons.

I do socialize fine, even thought when I get home I feel drained and want to sleep. Yet I do a good job at the social stuff. Specially if there is good reason to go socialize.

I know that the books might say that a lot of us who are in the spectrum do not socialize, or are not outspoken. I do not feel that "all" of us are at the same level when it comes to socializing, however I do feel that woman might find it easier than guys to do so.

I believe that one of 's children also socializes to a degree, but I am not sure if I am incorrect.

Also in some books they mentioned some of us NOT being affectionate, but I am affectionate to a big degree. I like affection and cuddling, but not with just anyone. I like doing this with someone I am like or want to have some sort of romantic relationship.

I am very affectionate with my nieces and with my brothers as they give great hugs! they are also nice and I trust them.

Just because I am in the spectrum it does not means that I am not affectionate, some of us seem to have plenty of it.

My dad who was a hard core Aspie was affectionate. He hugged us and he was lovable to us, his children. He did not like others to touch him at all. Yet he was affectionate with the people he knew and cared about.

Mother on the other hand was totally the opposite of my dad. She never hugged us, or had a good comment for most of us, except for one of my brothers.

She was dead alive so to speak, never had much to say and it was just annoying for my dad who was the very affectionate Aspie. He actually craved affection, but did not get it from her.

Anyway, I would like to know if there are any Aspie children who are affectionate or any Aspie adults here in the list who are affectionate.

Perhaps there are different type of Asperger's, the ones that are the "go get it type" the ones who "don't go".

I also believe that gender has a lot to do with being affectionate or not, or outspoken or not.

In any case, your input will be appreciated.

I truthfully believe that any medical criterion for people in the spectrum should also mention that some of us are affectionate and able to reciprocate affection. Not all of us are unable to reciprocate, I think "upbringing" has a lot to do with it as well.

Books should be revised and also change when it comes to showing all the people who are in the spectrum and are able to make the connections needed to live in a more harmonious world with others.

Sincerely,

.

AOL Search: Your one stop for directions, recipes and all other Holiday needs. Search Now.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

WE have both in our family. Usarian has trained himself to socialize more and more appropriately but it is very draining and he can only do it for short times. has a hard time recognizing personal boundaries with Usarian and will talk our ears off. There are maybe two other people in the world he shows this side of himself. He wants to make friends but does not get social things so his attempts are awkward at best. Kids at school think he is really smart and has some pretty cool facts but they never come over to play or to his birthday party. We live in a neighborhood filled with kids and they avoid him to some extent. It breaks my heart because he wants to socialize so badly.

is different. He has been surrounded by other kids with special needs for so long that he really seeks them out and has a "heart" for them (for lack of a better way to put it). There is a boy in his classroom that has any more challenges than and he always makes sure that he is played with and has what he needs. The NT kids do treat differently they are not mean but even in K they recognize he is different. They are very differential to him right now.

In my personal opinion, everyone on the spectrum is as individual as any NT community. In general, I do believe that social/ relational problems do plague the AS community more. But I do not believe they apply to everyone or are exclusive to the AS community. There are a lot of NT people who are just as, if not more, self absorbed and lack social graces.

Just my two cents.

e

From: vcsfrewer@...

Sent: Friday, November 07, 2008 11:55 PM

To: aspires-relationships

Subject: To parents of outspoken, emotional or affectionate Aspies....... !

Hello all,

Hope everyone is doing alright.

Do any of your children who are in the spectrum are affectionate or emotional.

Do any of your children worry about others health or well being?

Do any of your children are outspoken and which gender your child is.

I think that Sondra said that one of her daughters is outspoken and also social.

I am both, yet I also keep to myself. I chose whom to be social with and prefer being the one who initiate things. All depends whom I am with and how much I feel safe with the person or persons.

I do socialize fine, even thought when I get home I feel drained and want to sleep. Yet I do a good job at the social stuff. Specially if there is good reason to go socialize.

I know that the books might say that a lot of us who are in the spectrum do not socialize, or are not outspoken. I do not feel that "all" of us are at the same level when it comes to socializing, however I do feel that woman might find it easier than guys to do so.

I believe that one of 's children also socializes to a degree, but I am not sure if I am incorrect.

Also in some books they mentioned some of us NOT being affectionate, but I am affectionate to a big degree. I like affection and cuddling, but not with just anyone. I like doing this with someone I am like or want to have some sort of romantic relationship.

I am very affectionate with my nieces and with my brothers as they give great hugs! they are also nice and I trust them.

Just because I am in the spectrum it does not means that I am not affectionate, some of us seem to have plenty of it.

My dad who was a hard core Aspie was affectionate. He hugged us and he was lovable to us, his children. He did not like others to touch him at all. Yet he was affectionate with the people he knew and cared about.

Mother on the other hand was totally the opposite of my dad. She never hugged us, or had a good comment for most of us, except for one of my brothers.

She was dead alive so to speak, never had much to say and it was just annoying for my dad who was the very affectionate Aspie. He actually craved affection, but did not get it from her.

Anyway, I would like to know if there are any Aspie children who are affectionate or any Aspie adults here in the list who are affectionate.

Perhaps there are different type of Asperger's, the ones that are the "go get it type" the ones who "don't go".

I also believe that gender has a lot to do with being affectionate or not, or outspoken or not.

In any case, your input will be appreciated.

I truthfully believe that any medical criterion for people in the spectrum should also mention that some of us are affectionate and able to reciprocate affection. Not all of us are unable to reciprocate, I think "upbringing" has a lot to do with it as well.

Books should be revised and also change when it comes to showing all the people who are in the spectrum and are able to make the connections needed to live in a more harmonious world with others.

Sincerely,

.

AOL Search: Your one stop for directions, recipes and all other Holiday needs. Search Now.

[Guest guest]

Helen and ,

Me three! I read in Attwood's Complete Guide about ASpies who become social decades late, and figured he was tlaking about me: like both of you, I have always been outgoing, but just did not know the rules- and got rebuked frequently.

I did not write at first, because none of my children is on the spectrum, and all are outgoing- but my daughter did go through a shy phase when she was quite young (she is definitely NT,a nd loves to play people-- while her mother wonders what the rules to that game are- LOL!)

Subject: Re: To parents of outspoken, emotional or affectionate Aspies....... !To: aspires-relationships Date: Saturday, November 8, 2008, 7:27 AM

Hi ,I'm much like you. Some of the AS authorities (eg. Tony Atwood) have said that many AS do desire to be social but we run into trouble when we can't read the intentions of others. I think this makes some AS withdraw very early in life. But for folks like you and me, well, we aren't to be deterred. Maybe it's part faith, maybe it's our upbringing, but we still believe in the basic goodness of people. Though we get burned plenty of times, we are also blessed by knowing many wonderful people. My mother's culture and heritage is Spanish and their large extended family is very effusive and loving, even the Aspie ones. They are just a bit louder and more brash, and like me, suffer from "foot in mouth" syndrome. <smile!>Helen 53, self dx'd AS, dx'd ADD