Out of Control

[Guest guest]

Last night my husband deliberately pulled out his PICC line. It was

delivering the IV meds to treat his oral-antibiotic-resistant UTI. He

had one more week to go. Between the UTI, the reaction to the

medication and his LBD he has either been weak and very confused, or

less weak, resistant to assistance and combative.

At present I have him home with HHAs during the day, but care for him

nights. I am in the process of adding back HHAs over the weekend. It's

too hard on my own. I'm supposed to be working half time, but had to

cancel a full day of training I was to conduct today to deal with the

after effects of the PICC line debacle today.

Quite honestly, last night I started thinking about putting him in a

nursing home (NH). He wouldn't want that. I also think he's just as

capable of pulling out a PICC line in a NH. He has pulled out

catheters, IVs, and fallen out of bed or while walking numerous times

in hospital or in a NH.

When he's in his out of control mood, he's very hard for me to manage

if I'm on my own. I feel like my care for him has identified my as

undependable at work, and undermines my current request to return to

work full time -- which I would need to to to help fund either 24 X 7

care or a nursing home. I just don't know what I should do