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Nurture Give & Take

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Hi e,

I wanted to respond to your post to new member Chloe. My husband and I

have been married for 22 years. I am NT he is AS. First of all I

applaud you & your husband for constantly rising to the challenges in

life and not letting them defeat you. I am sure you are both

exceptional people, but being NT I can't help but feel for you

e. Your story reminds me of " A Beautiful Mind " . F. Nash

certainly deserves the recognition he has attained through the years,

but what about his wife? She had to re-invent the way her family was

going to be raised and the way their lives would be lived almost every

step of the way. She, like you must be a very strong woman to have

hung in there and given up so much to care for the needs and demands

of her family. My husband is gifted and superior on many levels at his

profession. His relationship skills however could use improvement. You

wrote of dealing with always being in the nurturing role in your

relationship. My son is about to start college and once again I am

caught in the middle as my husband behaves as though this is a case of

sibling rivalry rather than partnering w/me to get the tasks at hand

accomplished. It is the height of holiday madness and as I interact

with college counselors, student aide officials and admittance

administrators (alone) and make sure we enjoy the holidays my

husband's agenda is on another page in a parallel universe. He has

decided to clean out the garage and park the clutter in the kitchen

and dinning area. He is also trying to get me involved with starting a

new project of turning the storage room into a work shop. This

behavior is typical whenever my son has extra needs (the start of

school, band, school trips etc). The reason I am writing is because

you mentioned that you & your husband were able to get past this very

draining behavior. I would welcome any advice, books, resources you

used to get past this. I too feel towards my husband as though he were

another child and have zero interest in marital relations with him.

Best wishes for a happy holiday season. Thank you for any information

you may have. Bless You.

Karmyn

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