Re: fashion and CMT

[Guest guest]

Hi Geri,

I don't know you, so I am not saying that you are like this or like that. I am

sorry if you thought I meant you must be like the PJ lady, I only meant some

people don't care at all! I have no trouble with people who don't care about

what others think, and I did smile back at the PJ woman (ok, that was partly

because the kitten-pattern on the PJ was cute).

But personnaly I do care about my appearance. I want to look good, both for me

and others. I wear nice clothes when I am at home alone too, so it is not just

for others. One of my friends asked me why I never wear jeans, and that is

because I don't like jeans! I just like nicer clothes and fashion, it's like a

hobby for me. I also like interior design, to find nice clothes for my son and

things like that. I think this is partly the way I was brought up. My mother is

the same, if not " worse " .

If you are happy with your way of living, than that is fine with me! My motto

is: All methods are good, except those that don't work. So if you have found a

way of living which is satisfactory, than thats great! Also that you share your

wisdom, that there is no need to dress up just to please others! I think it is a

great philosophy, however, I have not come to this conclusion yet! (But I think

it would be good to be able to think like that, it would remove a lot of

pressure!) 

I feel I am " on my way " though, and that is because lately I have been able to

think " this is not the way I want things, but this is good enough " . So I am less

of a perfectionist, hopefully will be even less in the future. (Maybe it comes

with age?)

Beata

[Guest guest]

Beata, (answering both your posts!)

Did I ever say ...I thought it was ok for people to ware PJs to work?

I know how one has to dress for their profession. In fact I never heard of

anyone going to work in PJ. ,Where did you get the idea and that I wear PJs in

public?. Your insulting my intelligence!!In fact there was someone on here that

posted a web site and there were some PJs that are so nice, one could wear then

in public. They were right one could! It wasnt me how ever!

Read my post again!!!!Nor did I say I didn't like clothes or what I looked

like!!!!!!!!!Don't put words in my mouth that I didn't say!!!I said clothes and

looks are not my priority!!I dress for me!

Because it is not my priority does not mean I haven't any dignity. Dignity has

more meaning then one!

As far as not knowing anyone in a wheelchair that's too bad!! Did you know their

are allot of us, right here on this site that are in wheelchairs, or didn't you

know that? Well,, now you can say you know " one of them " and that would be me!D

o hope you get to know others, some people aren't even be enlightened, by us.

I guess you didn't know that one of our U.S. Presidents was in a wheelchair! He

had to hide his disability to get elected. We are trying to rid the world of

this kind of thinking!

I fit into any " group " !!!! Just because one is disabled/ is in a wheelchair,

does not mean we have to fit into a certain " group " and I also don't dress to

fit into a certain " group " either.I my everyday living (Work clothes excluded).

don't find the need to fit into a defined group. Do you really think that way?

Unreal!

That kind of thinking is precisely what we disabled people are fighting, having

troubling with people that don't understand disabilities. Here you are with a

disability feeding into what we are fighting...in this perfect world of ours

where one is not excepted if they see a flaw and don't fit into the " norm " . O

because people are different!

I know I'm not any better then others and others are not better then me. t is

" so " much of a pet peeve of mine when people think they are so hot compared to

others! Or are so into themself's! It's disgusting and enough to make me

gag! " You only waved at the PJ lady because she had kittens on her PJs! " Gees!!

Aaaaaaa! Ok,Then! Cough!

You said: So I am less of a perfectionist, hopefully will be even less in the

future. (Maybe it comes with age?) Yes it does (less of a perfectionist) maybe

and along with age, also comes wisdom and being what known as an intellectual!

Thats a good thing!

DIGNITY:Article 1. All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and

rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act " towards one

another in a spirit of brotherhood " .

Do hope you can understand my posts, if you don't just ask the Jean-T-Shirt

guy.LOL

This is my last post when it comes to this sorry subject!

Geri

[Guest guest]

Geri,

 

If I could…I’d like to suggest that perhaps your concern…the concern that

got this topic started in the beginning…is not really not about clothes or

personal style or even caring about what others think, but rather it’s about

self-image, self-esteem, and self-acceptance.

 

A woman could wear a very expensive garment, but look terrible if her

self-esteem was poor and she carried herself as if she were ashamed.  Likewise,

a person with high self-confidence could wear a trash bag and “rock itâ€, if

she wanted.  It’s not about what we wear, but how we feel inside.

 

In order to achieve good self-esteem and self-image, a person needs to accept

things about themselves that can’t be changed and “own itâ€.  For example,

you use a wheelchair.  You can’t change that, so you “own it†and you

“rock itâ€.  That’s great! 

 

If I may say so…it seems you weren’t always that way.  You had a tough

start in life without emotional support from others, so you had to figure things

out on your own.  Now you’re there.  You feel comfortable with yourself, you

aren’t embarrassed or ashamed anymore, and you want to share that with others.

 

There’s tremendous benefit in sharing your story.  You can help others by

talking about how you were able to overcome your rocky start and develop a

healthy self-image on your own.

 

Girls are at risk of poor self-image due to the focus on beauty in our

society.  Girls with disabilities are at even greater risk.  There are

definite things parents can do or not do to help their children develop a

healthy self-image.

 

Sharing your journey may help others, but IMHO to really be of value the

conversation needs to be more about the self-perception issues verses individual

style choices people make.

 

 

[Guest guest]

,

Yes, it'ss about self-image, self-esteem, and self-acceptance.

If a person had all these things, they wouldn't worry what others thought, about

the way they dressed or dwell on looks.

I do like to look nice,but it is not something I would dwell on or be a priority

of mine. As long as I'm satisfied with me, then I don't need pacify others,

tried that long ago!!Guess what it don't work!If you cant be yourself around

other people they are not my true friends!! It's as simple as that!...life's too

short!!

There are many different kinds of beauty and most of the time it's on the

inside, and that's what counts but that's just me and that's the way I think...

I don't exactly fit into today's world, of a no flaw society. I will speak my

mind and hope to make a change,if even it is helps one person... that others

think is different.

Guess, I got that way from helping the homeless and working in a soup kitchen.

It could have been me but it was wasnt!!. Heaven help this world and the upside

down thinking!!! You are so right on, with many of your statements here..

Blessings

Geri

[Guest guest]

Hi Geri,

Obviously we don't understand each other! You had a lot of questions, but since

it was your last post, I will not answer all of them.However, I would like to

correct you on one of your assumptions, that I discriminate disabled people.

I don't think I mentioned that " I look down " on people with disbilities? How can

I, when I have got a disability myself? That would be really weird, almost

insane of me! Of course I think everybody has got the same worth, no matter

what. Great to know that one of your former presidents was in a wheelchair! (Sad

he had to hide it though!)

Beata

[Guest guest]

Fellow members, I normally enjoy and read all posts cause I get lots of info

from you folks w/your varied experiences.

But this latest back & forth blog from just a few people about who is or is

not tryimg to impress, looks down, doesn't look down, who dresses whichever

way and why others should or should not care...whatever! The tone is

becoming unpleasant and, frankly, I feel counter-productive to the goal of this

group-to educate, inform and support each other.

Am I the only one who feels this discussion tangent is getting tiresome?

I'd like to see this particular discussion thread put to bed...enough

already. I almost missed a good and useful member post about staph infection,

which I am fighting, because I was weeding thru and deleting all the rambliing

tirades about who wears what.

Enough already! Gretchen, your thoughts please

[Guest guest]

Jeanne ~ Thank you.

Myself, other members of my family and members of my local support group also

feel that these " rambling tirades " have become counter-productive to the

positive support and wealth of information we enjoy about . Tolerant and

respectful responses would be very much appreciated.

Gretchen

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