How CMT parents see themselves and children influence how children see themselve

[Guest guest]

Hello,

I have read huge amount of materials about phychology of shame, clinical

psychology, family counseling and so on. I am wriitng to share with you what I

have learned from reading and my own life.

How CMT parents see themselves and their CMT children influences how CMT

children see themselves. This is about self-image. People have low self-image

have difficulties in interpersonal relationship, motivation to succeed and so

on, because they think they don't deserve good things in their lives.

Family of origin strongly influences how children see people and the world all

along children's lives, this is related to a term called " child within " . If the

CMT parents subconsciously or consciously think that themselves are damaged

goods and feel shamed about themselves or that they make a mistake in giving

birth to the children. This kind of perception might be projected into

children's minds. Thus, CMT children might feel that it is wrong or mistake to

have CMT. As a result, they might feel shamged about their existence in this

world and have low self image/low self esteem.

In addition, if the parents subconsciously or consciously feel sorry for their

CMT children, the children might feel sorry for themselves, that is, feel sorry

for their existence in the world. Being born to the word is a very sorry

mistake.

There are two kinds of shame. One is healthy shame, this is about what we do.

For example, someone cheated in the exams and was caught and thus feel shamed

about his behavior and then decide not to do the wrong things anymore. Healthy

shame motive people to become a better person. The other is toxic shame, this is

about who we are, the essence of life. For example, people born with CMT are

damaged human beings. This kind of shame has negative impacts on human life.

How children perceive themselves when they are children (before 6 years old)

influence how they see themselves even after they become adults. Many adults

still have a child within, that is, the distorted shame about being born with

CMT. The shamge felt during childhood is very likely to continue till adulthood,

unless the child within is healed.

Caroline