Guest guest Posted July 18, 2005 Report Share Posted July 18, 2005 The best way I know is when you extend your hand, do it with palm facing downward so the person cannot squeeze your fingers together. Even doctors that should know better will try to shake your hand while squeezing hard. Failing that, it is better to be up front and explain your problem before the handshake, otherwise it could be embarrassing to allow someone to shake your hand and you make a painful noise(which has happened to me). Hope this helps. Hugs June ----- Original Message ----- From: sharikirby1566 I have just been diagnosed with RA. My hands at the knuckles are very swollen. Doctor unable to give me meds because they are still checking out lungs and heart for some other problems. I went to church today and a man greeted me with a handshake that nearly sent me to the moon. What is the polite thing to do....not shake hands..grab his arm and shake. I also shake hands alot in my profession, I don't want to be appear rude or weak. Please let me know how you handle this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2005 Report Share Posted July 18, 2005 I am so glad that someone else has experienced this!! I have been diagnosed for 6 months and have virtually no pain anymore. However, it is still so painful when you are shaking hands with someone. They are trying to assert their 'power' (if you will) and manage to squeeze just the right fingers to make you cringe. Now, I don't know what my face looks like when this happens but I am screaming on the inside! And, this is with the disease on its way into remission, so I can imagine what you are feeling. Good luck. diana louisiana --- sharikirby1566 <ppatch2@...> wrote: > I have just been diagnosed with RA. My hands at the > knuckles are > very > swollen. Doctor unable to give me meds because they > are still > checking > out lungs and heart for some other problems. I went > to church today > and a man greeted me with a handshake that nearly > sent me to the > moon. > What is the polite thing to do....not shake > hands..grab his arm and > shake. I also shake hands alot in my profession, I > don't want to be > appear rude or weak. Please let me know how you > handle this? > > > > > ____________________________________________________ Start your day with - make it your home page http://www./r/hs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 23, 2005 Report Share Posted October 23, 2005 I would like to know as well, I am mostly just embarrased becasue I have psoriasis on my palms and can get nasty. Usually I just mutter something about a cold when I dont take the offered hand. Actually, with being on Enbrel, I do have to be careful about what i expose myself too,,, so its not great loss for me to ditch the handshake ritual. > > Any advice on how to avoid handshaking? > > People always expect my husband to shake their hand. He always does and at > times the ensuing pain from this lasts for days. > > Anyone have a solution for this awkward situation? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2005 Report Share Posted October 24, 2005 Hi, I too, have had this problem. For me there really wasn't a great solution. Mostly I just endured the pain. When it was particilarly bad or if I was feeling particularly plucky, I would say " I'd love to shake your hand, but my arthritis is terrible today " . If I know that I have to attend a tradeshow, business dinner, wedding, etc., when I anticipate a large number of incidents, I would wear an ace bandage to ward off hand shakers. All are fairly awkward solutions, but folks are understanding, and if I'm lucky,it is just a casual mention and I don't have to go into a sililoquy about PA and hear how young I am, or hear about the latest, greatest snakeoil that aunt Edna uses. Stay Well, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2008 Report Share Posted June 5, 2008 Hi , That is such a tough situation and really points out some of the small things that are now big things to those of us with painful hands! I pull back politely with my hand or make sure I am holding something and hope a big smile will suffice. But what about getting a manicure? When they do the hand massage? one of my favorite things is no longer that much fun. I have to schedule it around flares! But i do enjoy alternating drying my fingernails with hot and cold! LOL... Heidi To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those who dont, no explanation is possible In a message dated 6/5/2008 12:43:14 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, buslady1995@... writes: Good afternoon everyone, When you meet someone for the first time , most people shake the persons hand-- BUT if you have RA in your hands, now what? You don't want someone to grab your hand and squeeze. Is there something that some of you do that would substitute for hand shaking without telling the whole RA story? I will be going to a conference for work and I dread the hand shaking process. Thanks-- NY **************Get trade secrets for amazing burgers. Watch " Cooking with Tyler Florence " on AOL Food. (http://food.aol.com/tyler-florence?video=4? & NCID=aolfod00030000000002) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2008 Report Share Posted June 5, 2008 How about this? http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=20192 [ ] Shaking hands Good afternoon everyone, When you meet someone for the first time , most people shake the persons hand-- BUT if you have RA in your hands, now what? You don't want someone to grab your hand and squeeze. Is there something that some of you do that would substitute for hand shaking without telling the whole RA story? I will be going to a conference for work and I dread the hand shaking process. Thanks-- NY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2008 Report Share Posted June 5, 2008 hi karen, i know what you mean sometimes people squeeze your hands so hard or maybe not hard but it does hurt!! im a very huggy touchy kinda person but since its a conference meeting i dont know how they would feel with a lite hug maybe even a pat.do what comes naturally!!! good luck & god bless, melyndagamez 6/5/08 12:45p.m.central time [ ] Shaking hands Good afternoon everyone, When you meet someone for the first time , most people shake the persons hand-- BUT if you have RA in your hands, now what? You don't want someone to grab your hand and squeeze. Is there something that some of you do that would substitute for hand shaking without telling the whole RA story? I will be going to a conference for work and I dread the hand shaking process. Thanks-- NY ------------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2008 Report Share Posted June 5, 2008 I've been wrestling with this for months! In my job, I meet new people all day long in a business setting and am expected (and expect myself) to shake hands. I've had it suggested that I put out my other hand if it's not as painful, or simply nod politely as the Japanese do. I work with international students so it's a bit more confusing for me. I'm still working on a practical solution. > > Good afternoon everyone, > > When you meet someone for the first time , most people shake the > persons hand-- BUT if you have RA in your hands, now what? You don't > want someone to grab your hand and squeeze. > Is there something that some of you do that would substitute for hand > shaking without telling the whole RA story? > I will be going to a conference for work and I dread the hand shaking > process. > > Thanks-- NY > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2008 Report Share Posted June 5, 2008 How wonderful! I'm going to try this! > > How about this? > http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=20192 > > > > [ ] Shaking hands > > > Good afternoon everyone, > > When you meet someone for the first time , most people shake the > persons hand-- BUT if you have RA in your hands, now what? You don't > want someone to grab your hand and squeeze. > Is there something that some of you do that would substitute for hand > shaking without telling the whole RA story? > I will be going to a conference for work and I dread the hand shaking > process. > > Thanks-- NY > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2008 Report Share Posted June 5, 2008 Heidi, One of my luxuries has always been pedicures. I now have the same problem as you do with manicures. I have to carefully schedule them and sometimes end up going an embarrassing length of time between appointments! Kim > > Hi , > > That is such a tough situation and really points out some of the small > things that are now big things to those of us with painful hands! I pull back > politely with my hand or make sure I am holding something and hope a big smile > will suffice. But what about getting a manicure? When they do the hand > massage? one of my favorite things is no longer that much fun. I have to schedule > it around flares! But i do enjoy alternating drying my fingernails with hot > and cold! LOL... > > Heidi > > To those who believe, no explanation is necessary; to those who dont, no > explanation is possible > > > In a message dated 6/5/2008 12:43:14 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, > buslady1995@... writes: > > > > > Good afternoon everyone, > > When you meet someone for the first time , most people shake the > persons hand-- BUT if you have RA in your hands, now what? You don't > want someone to grab your hand and squeeze. > Is there something that some of you do that would substitute for hand > shaking without telling the whole RA story? > I will be going to a conference for work and I dread the hand shaking > process. > > Thanks-- NY > > > > > > > > > **************Get trade secrets for amazing burgers. Watch " Cooking with > Tyler Florence " on AOL Food. > (http://food.aol.com/tyler-florence?video=4? & NCID=aolfod00030000000002) > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 Here is something that has concerned me from time to time. Often i will meet someone new who goes to shake my hand. Because I have attended many seminars that teach about a firm handshake, i find that women in the professional world shake hands very firmly. I always get nervous that either they will hurt me or that i am not projecting a good impression since i can not do a firm handshake. Any thoughts. I know this sounds trivial, but curious to hear from women who have encountered this. Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 30, 2009 Report Share Posted September 30, 2009 I have a light handshake too. + I always have to look at my hand to see where it is, and then I might miss the eye-contact too. I hope it is considered ok anyway. It does not show at first that I have a neuromuscular disease. I don't pay any attention at all to what kind of handshake others have. Firm, great, not so firm, still ok. What is bad is people who don't want to shake hands at all. Or people who can't distinguish between left and right. There is also the category of (mostly men) who hold my hand too long. (No idea what that means, but it is uncomfortable.) But best is the southern European style of kissing on the cheek. I have no problems with that, and it is used in business too, except with people who don't know each other. So more kissing, please! Beata Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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