Re: Need advise, How can I make GUYS understand I mea...

[Guest guest]

The other guy, ask him to go get coffee or lunch with you.

I would ask that IF it was , the one I like. Maybe next time we go to where he works and IF he shows up, I will ask him to get coffee with me. I really like him, he is sweet indeed!

I have said NO to the pests, but no matter how serious or how mad I am, it does not deters them. One of them, (the one at the synagogue) even smiled when I gave him the "bad eye" and told him I was not interested in him, neither I could ever be. I was angry too, and he noticed it, the *%#* & @ said: I like you when you get angry too.

I do not like being prevented form going places by anyone, but I juts could have not deal with that & *#$%* $%^ & *# & (*#$^%* %^* & #% To the tenth degree! on Sunday!

I was so upset about the feelings I had that I even messed up the days and dates this past weekend!

Thanks Usarian, I will try to say no one more time to the guy and if he does not understands it, I might have to not go back there or to talk to the Rabbi about it after work.

There is another guy also at the other synagogue who has asked me out, but he did it with respect and with respect I declined. He is still coming to get through the process, but he is decent and has not bothered me at all. He still looks, but he is not a pest, he is an alright person. Most guys are nice if I decline politely, but the ones who think they must not have a NO for an answer, those are the @^%$#.

Thanks for your advise! I will try again IF he returns to go through the process.

Make your life easier with all your friends, email, and favorite sites in one place. Try it now.

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

Thanks for your advise....... And for the kind words too :-)

I usually like to keep peace and to be civilized, yet these guys are just creepy.

I feel unsafe having guys like this talk to me. One of them even tried to get co-workers to convince me to go out with him. I told them, any of you can have him. Go tell him you are going out with him.

I will take all the suggestions I have been given, I should have asked for this advice much earlier. Thanks a lot to everyone :-)

Sincerely,

.

Make your life easier with all your friends, email, and favorite sites in one place. Try it now.

[Guest guest]

Just another thought that occurred to me. I don't know how much work you've done with learning body language but that could be very helpful also in keeping these kind of guys from even talking to you in the first place. If you can display the right attitude toward someone you can often stop them from talking to you in the first place.

Jennie

Re: Need advise, How can I make GUYS understand I mea...

Hi All,

Thanks for your advise....... And for the kind words too :-)

I usually like to keep peace and to be civilized, yet these guys are just creepy.

I feel unsafe having guys like this talk to me. One of them even tried to get co-workers to convince me to go out with him. I told them, any of you can have him. Go tell him you are going out with him.

I will take all the suggestions I have been given, I should have asked for this advice much earlier. Thanks a lot to everyone :-)

Sincerely,

.

Make your life easier with all your friends, email, and favorite sites in one place. Try it now.

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com Version: 8.0.176 / Virus Database: 270.9.15/1839 - Release Date: 12/9/2008 9:59 AM

[Guest guest]

I will second that one! Between mime as a teen and some stuff i read to appear

promotable at work, i have seen body language efforts bear much fruit very

quickly!

Usarian

Sent: Tuesday, December 09, 2008 1:14 PM

To: aspires-relationships

Subject: Re: Need advise, How can I make GUYS understand

I mea...

Just another thought that occurred to me. I don't know how much work you've done

with learning body language but that could be very helpful also in keeping these

kind of guys from even talking to you in the first place. If you can display the

right attitude toward someone you can often stop them from talking to you in the

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone,

Thanks again for all the advise I have gotten.

I am a serious person for the most part, yet I smile. I do so as I like being happy, and I do not over do it. I am pleasant and love to have peace of mind.

At work I am chosen to go work for "sensitive" caccounts and I am polite, and can calm down somene when they are upset. I give excellent customer service and pretty much can run things without messing up.

I usually do all the Quality Control we have to do while others set up things. I am extremely detailed and I pint out mistakes that three or four people might have overlooked.

Supervisors request me as I help them a lot, I keep my cool during stressful times and over presentation and I "focus" and pull things through.

The guys whom I am referring to are special cases as they seem to be TOO sure of themselves.

It seems that they "think" that no one can say NO to them. They are arrogant in my views, and quite unpleasant. I do present the right body language as I am quite serious and also give them eye. The more stern I am, the more they like it. I have tried with nice words, and also with mean words. It has not worked, it is not me; but them.

Most of the guys are nice and they understand after I politely decline their advances. Must of them do not bother me again, even if they might still look my way, they do not bother me.

Half of the time I do not even pay attention, it is until my co-workers say something that I might realize there was something going on. I focus on work, and on getting things done correctly. The line of work we do is extremely serious and "mistakes" are not acceptable as they put the whole day's work on hold. I am the one who is usually making sure that the details have not been overlooked, so I tend to focus on details.

There are times when I see guys who are staring too much and I make sure someone else gets them for the most part. Other times, I go get in the middle of the interview someone else to finish the process. Yet most of the time we are under staff and it is difficult to do that.

I can stop someone on the spot by just being dead serious and not having one muscle in my face move. Most of the guys, like I said do figure it out and they stop. It is just this two or three guys who are the pests.

I will make sure next time, that if one of them comes....... I will go on break or move to a different area if it is not too busy. The whole process from beginning to end might take up to one hour person. Sometimes it takes 45 minutes from beginning to end.......

I will take your advise and do as needed.

Thanks,

.

Make your life easier with all your friends, email, and favorite sites in one place. Try it now.

[Guest guest]

Hi Matt,

How are you doing?

Thanks, I think you are right, I like the Rabbi in there. He is a cool guy for what I can tell.

Very pleasant, soft in his demeanor and not frightening.

Once at the Synagogue--

In the line of work I do, I have to ask extremely personal questions-- sexual questions as I work in the health field. I was talking to the person I was interviewing at the Synagogue and I was telling him how embarrassed I felt when I had to ask those questions to a Pastor-- when I went to Baptist Churches--.......

Even worst if I went to work at a Catholic Church as I had to ask those questions to the priest! OR NUNS!

I told him: My face is usually red, and I cannot look at them in the eye at all, I just look down or at the computer. I also apologize for the questions, but hey must be asked.

The guy I was interviewing said, I bet and giggled.

I then said, I am glad you are not the Rabbi! He smiled and said: As a matter of fact, I AM!

My face turned red and hot again, and we just laugh at the whole thing. It was funny, it kind of broke the ice and then we ended up talking a little bit more; I even told him how my dad loved the Old Testament and how he used it to his convenience (specially if he was going to spank us)!

The Rabbi is perhaps the person to talk to if the darn guy comes back. I just do not get it, the guy knows he is risking a lot; why bother? Then again he might be one that might have had girls saying yes to him in the past. Who really knows?

Again, thanks for all the advise, I appreciate it :-)

((((((( Hugs to Aspires members )))))))

.

In the past, I have said that I have someone in my life as hopes of them leaving me alone. Most guys leave me alone right away and say, I am sorry. Yet the idiots one, those do not care. They could have a ring on their fingers and they still do not care. Those are prostitutes in my views! and I am not a pimp! They are also #$% & *^%!

Bad people! They surely need to pray for their sorry souls before their time comes!

Make your life easier with all your friends, email, and favorite sites in one place. Try it now.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Thanks for your e-mail, I'll reply to that separately. I just thought

I would add my thoughts to this thread about these guys pestering you.

Some guys are completely arrogant and can't imagine a girl saying no.

I had a problem with one at my previous job. We were both working as

support workers at a school for children with severe learning

difficulties and had to work together to help one particular student.

I found this guy creepy from the start, and once when we were on our

own he suddenly asked me if I'd like to visit him at the weekend. I

was so thrown that I said " I don't know " , and then after the initial

shock I realised I needed to be clear and say no, so I told him I had

a busy weekend, I was seeing my BOYFRIEND and some friends. He seemed

to accept it, but later on there was an embarrassing incident in the

staffroom. He had left his bag next to the seat I was sitting on, but

instead of asking me to pass it to him, like most people, he decided

to lean right over me. It looked like he was going in for a kiss and

a grope and for a moment I felt quite terrified! Other people in the

staffroom saw and commented, saying " it looked like you were going in

for a smooch there! " to which he replied " I wish she would! " . It was

made into a joke but really I felt quite embarrassed and violated.

There was no need for him to invade my personal space like that.

All I can say is you just have to send out a clear message. I started

to be really cold with this guy. I was especially annoyed as we did

have an important job to look after these students, they were who I

cared about, whereas he seemed more concerned about chatting up staff.

At times I was probably rude, but a lot of it is about body language.

If he said hello to me I'd reply but I didn't look up from what I was

doing and I didn't smile. I didn't make any effort to speak to him, I

avoided situations where I would be alone with him and I just made it

as clear as I could that I had no time for him. It sounds brutal but

if someone makes you that uncomfortable and actually intimidates you,

I think you're well within your rights to show you don't appreciate it

and that they need to stay away. With your actions and body language

you just have to give off " don't go near me " vibes.

If you feel comfortable talking to the Rabbi about it I definitely

think that's an option. You shouldn't be made to feel so uncomfortable

you have to avoid working at a particular place. Let me know how it goes.

Anyway, I'll definitely e-mail you soon,

Chloe x