Re: OT: From Dean's List To Death Bed.....

[Guest guest]

I agree with . Pete did a good job on his blog and maybe he is a little

over energetic but he is also very young. A more encouraging approach to what he

is doing wrong would show more class than yelling at him and when someone is

writing in caps it is the same thing as yelling. 

When someone feels they have been  disrespected does that mean they should turn

around and act with disrespect in return?

 Or would " setting an example " by better behavior be more appropriate especially

when the age difference is quite obvious? 

 I hope this has not discouraged this young man when his energy and intentions

should be valued, recognized and appreciated even if he isn't doing everything

perfect. I thought this was a " support " group.  

From: ldelp84227 <ldelp84227@...>

Subject: Closing up the shop [] 69Re: From Dean's List To Death

Bed.....

Date: Saturday, October 10, 2009, 8:49 AM

 

I have only read a little about this issue but I hate to see

anyone feel they have to leave. I don't think Pete needs to leave. Been here for

ten years and there have been ups and downs but we are here for each one here.

Sometimes when you are in this mess you don't always think before you leap. Hope

you can work out the problem and stay with the group. My opinion.

[Guest guest]

leslie,

I agree with you and the others in principle. But not in the

situation with Pete. I e-mailed him many encouragements. I sent

him multiple e-mails which were ignored until I publically posted

the question asking him why didn't he respond.

After e-mails with encouraging suggestions on how he might

participate with Sickbuildings, including how he could help us, his

response was to ask me if he could cross-link to my Web site.

Nothing else. Just his Blog.

After another exchange describing again how he could help, he

asked me to tell him how he could help. (?)

I made a number of suggestions such as slow down, ask

questions, listen, give us time to get used to him so we could

better hear what he learned from his experiences. Most of all, I

encouraged him to participate rather than just trying to get us to

post on his blog. Learn our culture so we could better understand

each other.

His response was to ignore everything I'd said and say, instead, it

might be better to leave. I encouraged him as a bright, intellegent

young man to stay. He responded with the Jerry Springer

comparison and described this group in deragotory terms. The

most postive response I got from him was this:

* " I never tried to reject your suggestions. I just got sick of the

pissing contest. We should not be aiming at each other,

profiting from this, or holding grudges. I was willing to drop

the past & move on but I felt a lack of that in some of the

other people on the site. "

It was as if he needed total acceptance from all of us, proven only

by posting on his blog, or we were all against him. The

relationship (and trust) killer for me was after he denied he was

harvesting this group for names but within an hour sent me two

invitations to join his new group, " blackmold. "

I agree he had potential, but given multiple opportunities, his only

responses were to never acknowledge anything I or anyone else

said and refused to accept responsibility with me, Dr Thrasher, or

the group but instead to accuse us - all-the-while continuing to

advertise his own group disrespecting what we had to offer him.

I hope he changes his tactics and his attitude. I also hope he

finds ways to get well and find a safe place to live. That should be

his first priority, not building a Web site. As you all know, if you

are that ill you don't have the energy or health to create anything

new.

Sickbuildings is is a very tolerant group. KC doesn't exclude

people unless they continue to violate his rules. Pete did. You

don't.

This is my opinion and my experience. I got more involved with

Pete than with anyone new member before and am sorry he

chose to leave the way he did. I tried.

If any of you feel I'm wrong or missed something important about

him, I'm open for a conversation on-line or privately.

Carl Grimes

Healthy Habitats LLC

-----

I agree with . Pete did a good job on his blog and maybe he is a

little over energetic but he is also very young. A more encouraging

approach to what he is doing wrong would show more class than yelling

at him and when someone is writing in caps it is the same thing as

yelling.

When someone feels they have been disrespected does that mean they

should turn around and act with disrespect in return?

Or would " setting an example " by better behavior be more appropriate

especially when the age difference is quite obvious?

I hope this has not discouraged this young man when his energy and

intentions should be valued, recognized and appreciated even if he isn't

doing everything perfect. I thought this was a " support " group.

From: ldelp84227 <ldelp84227@...>

Subject: Closing up the shop [] 69Re: From Dean's List To

Death Bed.....

groups (DOT) com

Date: Saturday, October 10, 2009, 8:49 AM

I have only read a little about this issue but I hate to see anyone feel they

have to leave. I don't think Pete needs to leave. Been here for ten years

and there have been ups and downs but we are here for each one here.

Sometimes when you are in this mess you don't always think before you

leap. Hope you can work out the problem and stay with the group. My

opinion.