Guest guest Posted June 24, 2008 Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 welcome Rose! I think Daneka has summed it up very well. Keep in touch here ... there is lots of good advice from people who have all dealt with AS issues. I am happy to say successfully so. jkzWelcome Rose,I'm Daneka, and I'm married to a man with Aspergers who also denies it and wants nothing to do with the label. That hasn't prevented us from moving forward. If he embraces it, then he most likely would move forward more quickly, but forward is forward.My advise to you is to help him deal with issues/behaviors as they arise without using the label - Plan B. Some will say that you should insist that he accept his diagnosis. My own view is that he needs to view you as part of his team, and no amount of insistence will bring him to the Asperger table. ly, my observation from having been on this list for a while is that people with Aspergers hate to be told what to do, or to be nagged. In his own good time, he will come to accept how he is wired. If you can understand what he's experiencing, the conflicts, stresses he feels, then you can help him cope and move forward.I wish you all the best. There are great people here who would be very generous with their support and advise. Be a sponge and understand as much as you can.Daneka--- On Tue, 6/24/08, vonstep <vonstepecentral> wrote:From: vonstep <vonstepecentral>Subject: Re: First DayTo: aspires-relationships Date: Tuesday, June 24, 2008, 3:47 AMHi, AllI am the mother of an 18 year old diagnosed with AS last year, after alife-time of trying to find out what our son's difficulites wereattributed to. When my partner and I finally heard about AS, it waslike...."Whew. Why didn't someone point us in this direction in thefirst, (or 2nd, or 15th) place!"Anyway, our son does not like labels of any kind, so he has rejected thediagnosis and doesn't want to read about it or accept it. The last fewdays since I joined this site, I've been reading folks' listings andseeing so many commonalities. Leigh - this being your first foray intothe work world for 7 years has touched me. My son has been applying forjobs for a year without success, and he doesn't want any coaching fromus, or from anyone else, which makes it all the more difficult, ofcourse. He feels like a failue for not being able to get a job anddoesn't want to hear about how this can be typical for AS folks. Therelationship difficulties - oh, my. Suffice it to say that our son andhis girlfriend of one year just split up after she was abusive to himfor a whole year and he didn't see it as abuse.I won't bore you all with the details of our lives - I'm sure you'velived them in your own ways. I guess what I want from joining this siteis to have a forum for communicating with others who know what life withAS is like. To help normalize it for us, and to get insights and ideasabout what is and is not helpful.I look forward to our communications.Thanks,Rose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 1, 2008 Report Share Posted July 1, 2008 Hi, Daneka Thanks for your response. I'm just getting back to my computer after spending a week with my niece, so sorry about the delayed response. B. has always known he's differently wired, so I'm using that terminology, which is o.k. with him. I'm also using N.T., as in, " that's a lot harder for people who aren't NT " and he's accepting that, too. We do learn to work around things, huh? and what you said about hating to be nagged or told what to do - that's true for B. in spades. I'm glad I joined this group - good advise from those who have been there. Thanks, Rose > > Subject: Re: First Day > To: aspires-relationships > Date: Tuesday, June 24, 2008, 3:47 AM > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi, All > > > > I am the mother of an 18 year old diagnosed with AS last year, after a > > life-time of trying to find out what our son's difficulites were > > attributed to. When my partner and I finally heard about AS, it was > > like.... " Whew. Why didn't someone point us in this direction in the > > first, (or 2nd, or 15th) place! " > > > > Anyway, our son does not like labels of any kind, so he has rejected the > > diagnosis and doesn't want to read about it or accept it. The last few > > days since I joined this site, I've been reading folks' listings and > > seeing so many commonalities. Leigh - this being your first foray into > > the work world for 7 years has touched me. My son has been applying for > > jobs for a year without success, and he doesn't want any coaching from > > us, or from anyone else, which makes it all the more difficult, of > > course. He feels like a failue for not being able to get a job and > > doesn't want to hear about how this can be typical for AS folks. The > > relationship difficulties - oh, my. Suffice it to say that our son and > > his girlfriend of one year just split up after she was abusive to him > > for a whole year and he didn't see it as abuse. > > > > I won't bore you all with the details of our lives - I'm sure you've > > lived them in your own ways. I guess what I want from joining this site > > is to have a forum for communicating with others who know what life with > > AS is like. To help normalize it for us, and to get insights and ideas > > about what is and is not helpful. > > > > I look forward to our communications. > > > > Thanks, > > > > Rose > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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