Welcome Rose!

[Guest guest]

Welcome Rose,I'm Daneka, and I'm married to a man with Aspergers who also denies it and wants nothing to do with the label. That hasn't prevented us from moving forward. If he embraces it, then he most likely would move forward more quickly, but forward is forward.My advise to you is to help him deal with issues/behaviors as they arise without using the label - Plan B. Some will say that you should insist that he accept his diagnosis. My own view is that he needs to view you as part of his team, and no amount of insistence will bring him to the Asperger table. ly, my observation from having been on this list for a while is that people with Aspergers hate to be told what to do, or to be nagged. In his own good time, he will come to accept how he is wired. If you can understand what he's experiencing,

the conflicts, stresses he feels, then you can help him cope and move forward.I wish you all the best. There are great people here who would be very generous with their support and advise. Be a sponge and understand as much as you can.DanekaSubject: Re: First DayTo: aspires-relationships Date: Tuesday, June 24, 2008, 3:47 AM

Hi, All

I am the mother of an 18 year old diagnosed with AS last year, after a

life-time of trying to find out what our son's difficulites were

attributed to. When my partner and I finally heard about AS, it was

like...."Whew. Why didn't someone point us in this direction in the

first, (or 2nd, or 15th) place!"

Anyway, our son does not like labels of any kind, so he has rejected the

diagnosis and doesn't want to read about it or accept it. The last few

days since I joined this site, I've been reading folks' listings and

seeing so many commonalities. Leigh - this being your first foray into

the work world for 7 years has touched me. My son has been applying for

jobs for a year without success, and he doesn't want any coaching from

us, or from anyone else, which makes it all the more difficult, of

course. He feels like a failue for not being able to get a job and

doesn't want to hear about how this can be typical for AS folks. The

relationship difficulties - oh, my. Suffice it to say that our son and

his girlfriend of one year just split up after she was abusive to him

for a whole year and he didn't see it as abuse.

I won't bore you all with the details of our lives - I'm sure you've

lived them in your own ways. I guess what I want from joining this site

is to have a forum for communicating with others who know what life with

AS is like. To help normalize it for us, and to get insights and ideas

about what is and is not helpful.

I look forward to our communications.

Thanks,

Rose