Re: a man asked to see my legs?

[Guest guest]

Caroline,

Most definitely sexual harrassment. Report this act and the man to your Pastor

and (Police)law enforcement. If you have to, get a restraining order to keep

this creep away from you, and you also stay away from him. It seems

innapropriate for women to exhibit their legs to men in a church group. I worked

at a Church for years and nothing like this happened. You have the choice to

find another church, but perverts are everywhere. Some people do not understand

the concepts of good manners and appropriate behavior. They are incapable of

learning. This dysfunction is not something that you need to acccept.

Gretchen

[Guest guest]

Caroline,

As a Christian, I am disgusted by the behavior of the group leader and the man.

Neither of them accted appropriately, I would talk to the Pastor. If the Pastor

sees nothing wrong with the behavior, then as a Christian you need to find

another place of worship. Christian's are suppose to act Christ like,

otherwise it is just religion.

_________________________________________________________________

Hotmail: Free, trusted and rich email service.

http://clk.atdmt.com/GBL/go/196390708/direct/01/

[Guest guest]

Opposing thought here.Maybe he was genuinely curious as to how the CMT has

effected your legs. It may not have been more than that. He should just have

approached it in a different manner.

Lori

[Guest guest]

Lori,

I may tend to agree with you. What does outrage me is the reaction of the group

leader.

I may be curious to see what a breast looks like after a masectomy, but I

certainly would never ask someone to see their breast!

Jackie

[Guest guest]

Clearly a socially awkward situation but hardly harassment. Maybe he's just

curious and doesn't know how to ask.

I know I am sensitive about my CMT legs and hands and do not respond well when

asked, especially if caught offguard. I wish more people would ask so I could

be more accustomed to it.

You can always say no. If he continues after you say no, then there is a

problem. Otherwise, let it go.

[Guest guest]

If.......He didn't ask for a thigh high look

then I wouldn't think to much about it!

When women ware dress's/shorts our legs are exposed

How did it come about, did he just walk up to

and ask to see your legs?Where you taking about CMT?

Kind of depends on the conversation.

Geri

Clearly a socially awkward situation but hardly harassment. Maybe he's just

curious and doesn't know how to ask.

I know I am sensitive about my CMT legs and hands and do not respond well when

asked, especially if caught offguard. I wish more people would ask so I could be

more accustomed to it.

You can always say no. If he continues after you say no, then there is a

problem. Otherwise, let it go.

[Guest guest]

If it were a CMT support group that might be helpful educationally if you

were willing. I've often been asked why I wear two different kinds of

shoes between left and right sides and what is that " thing " on my leg

when I hitch up the tall sock. This is not always by a small child who

can be accommodated. I feel that any CMT education given to anybody is a

plus for all of us and it helps to explain why I rate a disabled parking

pass. But, then again I'm a male and that probably makes a difference in

spite of the equal rights laws.

As an aside, I received a forwarding from a friend about a military

passenger on a C-5A Galaxy on its way to Afghanistan remarking about the

female aircraft commander. He was told the entire crew were females and a

picture showing their smiling faces on the flight deck was provided. That

brought a warm smile to my face and a great pride in what our country is

all about!!!!

EdM from NH (and a fellow pilot)

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[Guest guest]

I would not have showed my legs either! I am not sure if it was curiosity (wow,

I want to see a CMT leg!) or sexual harrassment, but in either case, no need to

show it! I would have said: I will not show you! No explanation or anything,

because he does not deserve it!

I get a request to show my Blue Rocker braces often, and I always show them.

They are cool, look sporty and they are blue. But if someone I hardly know would

ask to see them, I would say no. It is different to show it to someone I know

care about me and want to see them because she/he wants to be happy for me for

having found a way to improve my gait or if it is only because of

curiosity/perversion.

Beata

>

> Hi,

>

> I went to a church group. A man I don't know much asked me to show him me

legs?

>

> How do you feel about this?

>

> I felt the man's request was very disgusting. I told the group leader this

rude behavior. The group leader told me that becuase I don't like me CMT legs, I

feel bad about his request. The group leader would feel very happy to show the

man her legs if she was asked by the man.

>

> Do I need to show a man my breast in order to prove that I like my breast

enough?

>

> I feel very angry about this. I think the man's behavior can be regarded as

sexual harrassment.

>

> How do you feel about this?

>

> Thank you very much.

>

[Guest guest]

I just wanted to add that I agree with Lori. Maybe he was genuinely curious.

Betty

From: mattheiss137@...

Date: Fri, 8 Jan 2010 13:51:18 -0500

Subject: Re: a man asked to see my legs?

Opposing thought here.Maybe he was genuinely curious as to how the CMT has

effected your legs. It may not have been more than that. He should just have

approached it in a different manner.

Lori

[Guest guest]

I think at the least it is down right rude. I wouldn't want to be part of

any group that had this man in it.

In a message dated 1/8/2010 9:13:59 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,

@... writes:

I feel very angry about this. I think the man's behavior can be regarded

as sexual harrassment.

How do you feel about this?

[Guest guest]

Some people just have no tact. If he was just curious, and this was his

problem, he might have asked in this manner. Once, I was in a Pilates class and

a woman came up to me afterward and said, 'what's wrong with your feet - I want

to know so I can tell my kids when they ask.' Now, why would her kids see me?

They were in the daycare when we were in class. But whatever, she basically was

asking about my condition... just in a strange way. Maybe that's all he was

doing. However, I wasn't there, if you feel it wasn't for that reason let your

intuition be your guide.

[Guest guest]

I don't mind sharing what CMT is and what it does. I feel it is good that people

know about it.

Geri

[Guest guest]

A psychologically healthy person knows what to say and what not to say.

As a human being, the meaning of my existence is not to answer anyone's

curiosity.

[Guest guest]

Even though these people are being very rude, we can use this as an opportunity

to educate them. Personally, I feel very comfortable showing my legs and what

CMT has done to them, but I can definitely understand why this would make some

people extremely uncomfortable. Rather than show someone your legs, you could

say " Oh my! I understand that you are curious, but I did not plan on a medical

examination at church in front of a group of people! I would be happy to bring

some web resouces at our next meeting, where you can learn about CMT and see

pictures of what affect is has on the legs. "

Here is an article with a picture

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charcot-Marie-Tooth_disease

[Guest guest]

No kidding. I have had life long friends never ask me what was wrong.

In a message dated 1/11/2010 8:56:42 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,

@... writes:

As a human being, the meaning of my existence is not to answer anyone's

curiosity.

[Guest guest]

I don't mind sharing what CMT is when I feel that I want I talk about it.

I don't like to repeatedly talk about the same thing, CMT. Life has much

more stuff than CMT. It is just like that I have big eyes. Big eyes are not

my life. It is not interesting to keep on talking about my big eyes. It is a

boring topic which I have no interest to keep on talking about.

I don't like to show people any part of my body. It is inappropriate to ask

to see someone's body if you two don't know each other very very well.

Even doctors need to ask me whether he can see my body or not, that is ,

whether I allow the doctors to see any part of my body or not.

>

[Guest guest]

Wow , you are very nice! I feel that a stranger who wants to see my legs is

not worth a polite reply. I would just say: No you can't see them!

In case they are curios about CMT they can go home and google it, no need to

educate people who don't have any tact at all. in case I met someone else with

CMT, I would not ask to see their legs. It's private. Some people show it some

don't, and that must be respected.

In case I wanted to show mine, I could wear a short skirt. If I wear pants, it's

because I do not want to show them. One person have asked me why I cover my

braces, she thought I should wear them on top of my pants. That made me

irritated too.

First of all, that is my decision, and also, that is not very esthetic +

uncomfortable, since the braces are not wide enough. But let's say they would

fit on top - I would still prefer to have them hidden. I think her message was:

No need to feel embaressed about them, we do accept them!

But again, that is my decision, if I am embaressed, I am. I have the right to

be! I would be embarassed if my nose was huge too! Or, maybe someone with a

mental disease should wear a sign. " I have scizhophrenia! " , to make the disease

more visible and easier for others to relate too? (No, I don't think so!!!)

Just because CMT is visible, it does not mean that people have the right to see

for themselves!

Beata

 

[Guest guest]

I once saw an interesting movie called " Just the way you are " )circa 1970

something)with Kristy McNichol in it. She wore braces on her one leg and it

showed how people looked and treated her.  Then she decides to take the brace

off and put on a cast and tell everyone that she broke her leg skiing and she

was treated completely differently and was seen completely differently.

It was really interesting, especially to view it as a person who has CMT, AFOs

and a cane.  I know those looks of curiosity and the strange comments too well.

Cyndi

[Guest guest]

I have had 2 foot surgeries this year.  After the second foot surgery I had the

boot on and one good foot.  So when people asked what happened to me, I told

them I had a little skiing accident.  I just had fun with it.  Why not?

Lyn from CA

[Guest guest]

Once I asked my closed friends why they never feel that the way I walk might be

different from other people.

My closed friends told me that ---

1) They have no interest to know that.

2) Or they care about who I am, not how I walk.

3) Or they have other more important issues in their lives to think about.

The way I walk has no relation with their own lives, unless I need help when I

fall.

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[Guest guest]

If other people are curious about my CMT, that is their own responsibility

to fix their own curiosity. I do not live to educate people. I live to enjoy

my life.

If I feel curious that why you have white skin color (my skin color is

yellow), I need to research this by myself. But I really have no interest to

know your skin color. You skin color has no relationship with my life. I am

yellow and I am enjoying my life.

I never ask other people stuff that they might not be willing to answer. For

example, I never ask my closed friend why she got divorce. My questions can

not help her life. It is called being considerate or respect the free will

of other people. If my friend want to share with me her divorce story, I am

willing to hear.

When I feel that I want to wear a skirt, I wear it. When I feel that I want

to wear pants, I wear it. It all depends on how I feel happy. If someone

wear a hat, it is his own free will and choice. I have no interest to ask

why he wear a hat.

I do not need anyone to accept me. My existence on this earth is already

very very significant.

It is all about being thoughtful and considerate. Be thoughtful about how

our behaviors might impact other people. Just like when I go to a library, I

choose to be quiet because I do not want to make other people in the library

feel uncomfortable. They have no obligation to be annoyed by my noisy

behavior. Other people deserve to have a high-quality space to feel

comfortable in their lives.

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[Guest guest]

I said the same thing after my surgery. I don't think people really care to hear

the long CMT explanation.

In a message dated 1/12/2010 5:01:05 P.M. Pacific Standard Time,

lsacks.5101@... writes:

I have had 2 foot surgeries this year. After the second foot surgeryI had the

boot on and one good foot. So when people asked what happened to me, I told them

I had a little skiing accident. I just had fun with it. Why not?

[Guest guest]

Me either!!!!!!!!!

Geri

>I never realized that curiosity could be so hurtful. <

[Guest guest]

I don't think people are in general be unkind when they ask.

Geri

>

[Guest guest]

Lynna,

You are so right on! Why complain that there is not enough funding and research

for CMT... If one gets insulted talking about it? This is 2010,not the

1800s.

Geri

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