the nurturing thing again

[Guest guest]

My mother-in-law came into town to attend my son's high school graduation. By agreement, she stayed at a hotel. Long story, but she and I haven't spoken in years, following her public announcement that my daughter, from a previous marriage, was not part of her family and thereby not welcome at her husband's funeral. That's a post for another time, but suffice it to say, that we hate each other. I suspect that she is AS, and she is a real "rule mongering" type. While here, she suffered a spell of vertigo and had to extend her visit -- by a WEEK! She can't be left alone, so of course, she's staying at my house.My problem is that my husband, her son, is absent. He just goes about his normal routine, oblivious to her and to my having to care for her. Today, he attended a swim meet while I walked her from room

to room, spent an hour on the phone for her, etc. When I told him -- being explicit but non-accusatory, as a good NT wife knows to be -- that this is his mother, he has to be here to tend to her needs -- he flipped out (literally, flapping his arms). If this were my mother, I'd never leave her in the care of a un-loving daughter-in-law like me.I don't know whether to be impressed by how he avoids the responsibility or just furious. At the moment, I'm just angry.I really don't want to care for her. I barely can tolerate the sight of her. How do I get him to understand that it's his place, not mine, to take care of the wench.Daneka