1b. Inge's twin also possible Aspie - correction - To Helen

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1b. Inge's twin also possible Aspie - correction Posted by: "Helen Foisy" Sat Sep 20, 2008 10:38 am (PDT) You wrote: Rochelle, Yes I do remember the challenges you had years ago, trying to educate professionals about Aspergers. .........How did you feel after this discussion with the professional. Did you feel positive? Do you think she "got" what is so unique about AS? Will this result in the most appropriate educational accomodations?

I was surprised by the fact that she even had an idea of AS but I still get the feeling that dx's of AS are the result of having to provide a reason for "what went wrong" with an individual instead of "this is the status" (not wrong or right but just a fact ) or this is where we're at, lets see what we can do to help the development. I have tried explaining to these people that the difference is that where NT's seem to know what to do to understand the social landscape naturally, as a normal part of their development, we dont, and therefore we need help with this. Thereafter we learn, develop coping skills and are vigilant to apply these skills so that our social behaviour seems normal. It never becomes a natural add-on but is consciously learned and applied. Problem is, that these specialists don't seem to want to believe that Aspies can grow and can learn. True, many people dx'd late in life seem to be set in their ways...., but this can

be said for NT's too. What is normal? Normal is what the majority of people decide to accept at any given time.... I don't believe in such a concept as "normal" because I believe that it is almost always relative to something else..something that is also the current popular thing of the day. So I choose to deal in status quos and goals - this is where we're at....and this is what we want to achieve, so how do we go about it. That is more real to me and this means that I pick my battles as to their value contribution to my goals.... I am hoping that this Psychologist won't lose sight of the goal of helping my son develop the skills that he needs in order to function in society...whether or not she pins the AS label on him in order to do this. Sigh! You wrote: What we hear about are the "AS as an excuse" legal defence stories, so it makes it sound like ALL AS are potential hackers, terrorists and stalkers. So most of us chose to go incognito due to concerns about discrimination. - Helen I think that the time is still not right for "coming out" AS - perhaps it will never be. People are so afraid of being different (they all want to be as unique as everyone else ;-) LOL) so they will always see difference as a threat to their preferred existence, their perfect world (their view of it, at any rate.) My eldest is currently at a mental clinic for observation because of her inexplicable lack of remorse or caring that her bad behaviour is socially unacceptable. It is easier for people to accept that she is an Aspie than to accept that the twins and I are because we are sociable and better behaved..... Why? It's because it's comfortable to have a "reason" to explain the problem away. The difference between that and my view is that I wasn't looking for a reason or excuse, but rather for that "map' that tells me "this is what your dealing with, handle it this way/fix it this way." The world out there aren't interested people who are not

causing mayhem. It's like "so you're different....but it's not a problem,....no-one has noticed it, so why do you want to pursue this?" Or worse - "Don't pursue this because then people will treat you badly - you will decrease in worth and value as a result!" Bah! This may sound contradictory but I live in hope, though not in expectation, of a change of people's view from paranoid to more tolerant. Tolerance requires a measure of giving and patience. This world in general is more about taking, self-protection and haste. Thank goodness for the individuals that still dare to stand out and speak out.... and the "Warrior moms" (and Oprah term that I picked up from the telly) who continue to fight the systems and prejudices in order to help their children to develop and grow to be ALL that they can.

Goodnight - it's nearly pumpkin time! Rochelle