emotionally dead/ habit forming

[Guest guest]

HI. Helena here, NS,F, 44. England UK.

I've just dipped in, as I do once in a while. To join the current

conversation, Yes, I also had to get rid of a lot of me. But so did my

AS partner, by the gist of what he says. He often says it would be

better not to say anything than to risk upsetting me. But then again,

I am walking on eggshells too!

I have reclaimed some of myself. I found that I had replaced the

confident adult me, with a whiny fearful child. This came up in a

conversation about fear that I had with my partner. Being adult works

pretty well, as long as I don't step into a parenting role or being a

needy fearful anxious child again. Easier said than done!

Last time I was here, I spoke about my partner constantly leaving the

gas ring on, burning low, all day. I put up some signs, and we talked,

and it happened a couple more times, then he said,when I pointed out

the ring left on one day, that he needed to change the way he does

things. That is, not leave the oatmeal on 'low', just turn it off

altogether! That was more than a week ago. So far, it has worked. I'm

not sure that he ever eats the oatmeal, just soaks it and leaves it,

and inspects the package for minute 'black bits' that he can send back

to the manufacturers, but hey, the kitchen isn't about to burn down,

so this is progress!

Helena