OT: Deaths Shock Those Close To The Family

[Guest guest]

Deaths Shock Those Close To The Family

By Doug kson, Simms and DeFour

http://is.gd/8mF1

Once a week last summer on a pasture in southeastern Wisconsin,

Dutter could be seen walking alongside a horse with his

12-year-old son , who sat atop the horse holding the reins.

The father and son were regulars for more than two years at the

Darien horse farm, where a nonprofit organization called SMILES offers

therapeutic riding lessons for people with physical, cognitive and

emotional disabilities.

Firn, the director of instruction, remembers Dutter as a

patient and supportive dad. " We saw no conflict, " said Firn, adding

that news of the family's tragedy has come as a great shock.

On Tuesday, an anonymous 911 caller directed Madison police to a

sport-utility vehicle parked in front of Haen Family Park on the

city's Far West Side. Inside, police say they found Dutter and his son

with gunshot wounds.

, who had a developmental disability, died that day. His

father died Wednesday. Authorities say Dutter, 36, recently of

Middleton, shot his son, then himself.

Police have released no information about a possible motive —

officers involved in the case are scheduled to meet this morning, said

police spokesman DeSpain. Officers were not able to interview

Dutter before he died, he said.

The death of the father means there is no longer a potential

criminal case, raising questions as to how much more information

police will release to the public.

Members of Dutter's family have not responded to requests for

comment. For now, only threads of a life that seemed to be becoming

increasingly difficult are known.

Dutter filed for bankruptcy last fall, citing liabilities of

$109,002 and obligations that included a monthly child support payment

and $18,700 in student loans. At the time of his bankruptcy filing,

his recent income had included about $6,700 in state unemployment

compensation. He had been taken to small claims court several times in

the last three years by various plaintiffs, according to online court

records.

Despite the financial stress, Dutter devoted much time to .

In August, he created a public Web site in which he updated family and

friends on his son. The site says it is the place to go for " all ,

all the time. "

" This is 's very own Web site for those who want to see

grow in life, " the site says.

Much of the site reflects 's love of Halloween — he had

recently visited a pumpkin patch, and pictures abound of his trip to

Fright Fest, an annual event at Six Flags Great America in Gurnee, Ill.

The Web site is candid about 's numerous medical issues,

listing 10 medical professionals he was seeing at the time of his

death, including a neurologist, an orthopedist and a pediatrician

specializing in autism.

was in the sixth grade at Glacier Creek Middle School in

Cross Plains, where school administrators offered counseling Wednesday

for students and staff. Middleton-Cross Plains Schools Superintendent

Don said this was 's first year in the school district. He

attended school in the Beloit area last year.

Dutter was divorced from the boy's mother and shared

parenting responsibilities. Dutter and his son had moved to Middleton

only in the last few months.

Dutter's parents reside in Beloit in a brick, ranch-style house

where they raised five boys. Henry Dutter is a semi-retired Beloit

firefighter. Rosemary Dutter is a retired schoolteacher who sells real

estate.

For neighbors, news of the tragedy has been baffling.

" ( Dutter) didn't give us any sign that he was an unfit

parent, " said Tom Brandenburg, who lives across the street from the

Dutters.

would play basketball with Brandenburg's son, , in

their driveway. One Christmas, Dutter dressed up as Santa Claus

and brought a present as a token of thanks for playing with

, said Brandenburg's wife, .

Rosemary Dutter is known around the neighborhood for circulating

petitions to stop a condo development and for accompanying on

walks. Dr. Kanchana Biswanathan, who has lived next door to the

Dutters for 15 years, said she had seen and his father this past

summer and nothing seemed out of place.

She said she had noticed that Rosemary Dutter had taken care of

quite often. She considers the Dutters wonderful neighbors and

dedicated grandparents.

" After taking care of their own children and then taking care of

a grandchild with special needs — that was a lot, " Biswanathan said.

Growing up, Dutter attended Beloit High School

before leaving after his junior year in 1989 to join the U.S. Navy,

according to Registrar Roseann Hoffmann. He earned his high

school degree in the Navy and served overseas, she said.

At various times he had worked for a mortgage firm and as a

branch manager for a bank in Milwaukee. Last year, he was a substitute

teacher's assistant in the Beloit School District, according to

spokeswoman Badger. It is unclear whether he was employed at

the time of his death.

In addition to , Dutter has an 18-year-old daughter who

attends Utah State University in Logan.

Last spring, in a newsletter for McLenegan Elementary School in

Beloit, school officials thanked Dutter and his mother for

helping to provide transportation for students to SMILES (Special

Methods in Learning Equine Skills), the horse farm for people with

disabilities, Firn, the farm's director of instruction, said was

a determined student who loved horses.

" He was just a good kid trying real hard, and they were just a

good family trying real hard to give him every opportunity they

could, " she said.

State Journal reporter Sandy Cullen contributed to this report.

[Guest guest]

It doesn't make sense but I'm afraid we're going to see more of this

kind of thing under the current economy. I don't mean to sound cold--

I'm just stressed and depressed about it, just not enough to

understand Dutter's choice.

Of course, the first thing that occurs to me is that Dutter's

friendly family doctor handed him a scrip for Effexor or whatever to

help with Dutter's financial stress. That could be why police might

cite " privacy " (so they don't have to report the drugs and get those

screaming calls from the district about it).

But it could just be that the historical rates for murder-suicide

always rise during financial crises. Add child's chronic medical

problems to that and stir. Or during slavery or Jim Crow, which I

frankly think have some less blatant psychological parallels for

autism families (overwhelming sense of human betrayal, lack of

justice, social partitioning, stolen future, being on the receiving

end of some genetic theory of inferiority, etc.). This happened even

back when there wasn't an epidemic and when there weren't SSRIs (just

rum, jake and laudanum).

>

> Deaths Shock Those Close To The Family

>

> By Doug kson, Simms and DeFour

> http://is.gd/8mF1

>

> Once a week last summer on a pasture in southeastern

Wisconsin,

> Dutter could be seen walking alongside a horse with his

> 12-year-old son , who sat atop the horse holding the reins.

> The father and son were regulars for more than two years at

the

> Darien horse farm, where a nonprofit organization called SMILES

offers

> therapeutic riding lessons for people with physical, cognitive and

> emotional disabilities.

> Firn, the director of instruction, remembers Dutter as a

> patient and supportive dad. " We saw no conflict, " said Firn, adding

> that news of the family's tragedy has come as a great shock.

> On Tuesday, an anonymous 911 caller directed Madison police

to a

>

[Guest guest]

OT....not really. Many families I've known have felt this

hopelessness and helplessness. Caregiving can turn into a syndrome

that can and often does affect mental health, especially when there

is not a natural circle of support.

Please folks in your efforts to move forward the quality of life for

hyindividuals with ASD ensure there are support systems for parents,

families, and individuals with ASD. Suicide rates are high and

mental health issues affect about 30% of individuals with ASD.

This is important, very important and communities need to come

together, have places and resources for supporting families in these

situations. We too should as parents never, ever question or judge

each other because no matter the differences we are never in that

other person's shoes 24/7 nor know what drives them nor is affecting

them or their family.

Please make sure your whole wellness is also something you are aware

of. We are only assisting our kids if we take can of ourselves too.

Yes this is something that occurs in families where disability is not

a factor, however in this case this dad may have felt he had run out

of choices and options to help his son. We need to work toward

ensuring there is more family support so there is help if needed.

Carolyn

> >

> > Deaths Shock Those Close To The Family

> >

> > By Doug kson, Simms and DeFour

> > http://is.gd/8mF1

> >

> > Once a week last summer on a pasture in southeastern

> Wisconsin,

> > Dutter could be seen walking alongside a horse with his

> > 12-year-old son , who sat atop the horse holding the reins.

> > The father and son were regulars for more than two years at

> the

> > Darien horse farm, where a nonprofit organization called SMILES

> offers

> > therapeutic riding lessons for people with physical, cognitive and

> > emotional disabilities.

> > Firn, the director of instruction, remembers Dutter as

a

> > patient and supportive dad. " We saw no conflict, " said Firn,

adding

> > that news of the family's tragedy has come as a great shock.

> > On Tuesday, an anonymous 911 caller directed Madison police

> to a

> >

>