OT: strained for some things to be thankful for and came up with a few

[Guest guest]

My father died a few weeks ago, on my twins' birthday, after suffering

from an ALS-like condition he'd developed after nine years of flu

shots. He'd also developed a malignant heart rhythm often associated

with mercury exposure from fish. He stopped getting the shots but the

dye was cast, so to speak. He died knowing what had been done to him

and to my kids and encouraging us to seek justice and get involved in

changing policy.

My maternal uncle died just fourteen days before my dad, after years

and years of travel shots as well as flu shots. Though cancer

didn't " run " in the family and though he had what most people think is

the " best " medical care in the world, he died from a form of cancer

most men don't die of. A lot of safer vaccine advocates might be

familiar with the studies linking rapidly spreading cancers to certain

vaccine toxins. My uncle had some tell-tale markers for weak

mitochondrial system (high IQ, severe childhood illnesses, dyslexia)

and his son, a totally NT professional, has a form of " iron efflux " . My

uncle had been researching chelation before he died and encouraged us

to pursue it for the kids.

Both my father and uncle fell ill just weeks after my twins' nauseating

diagnoses two years ago. We got the news on both just a day after our

cat died from melamine in cat food. My mother lost a husband, a brother

and half-lost two grandchildren in a short space of time. At least we

can try to bring her grandchildren back.

So though I'm actually cooking a wonderful meal right now, spent time

talking to family and friends and making the best of it, I don't really

unplug from all of this because I can't make it go away. I can just

stick close to communities, pals and forums populated by those who know

what it's like. But I don't feel that we're " unlucky " .

There's food on our table for one. My kids aren't dead, for another.

That was just an injection away for some families and I can't forget

it. And there are some eery little happenings over the years that make

me feel like " luck " isn't against us. My husband was on a business trip

a few months ago and his firm had put him up at the Taj Mahal hotel.

He'd had met with clients at one of the other locations which was

stormed. 119 or more people-- I'm sure innocent bystanders, probably

with families, probably many with struggling families-- died in these

recent attacks and my husband wasn't among them.

The reason I was wiping my brow and saying " phew " is because, for

obvious reasons, I've felt like my family's been hit with every other

lousy statistical risk. But thinking back, not really. I didn't rent

that loft on Church St. in Manhattan a few blocks from the World Trade

Center and decided to move to L.A. instead just a short time before the

first attack. I missed the L.A. riots, instead landing just before the

big earthquake, but didn't happen to be in the hills when it hit. When

we decided to leave L.A., my husband put off his job interview in

Boston by a few days, so he wasn't on the flight from Boston to L.A. on

9/11/01 as he would have been.

I knock wood compulsively (doing it right now), but it occured to me

that the stuff we've been hit with has been the statistically more

probable things. This means that for every family with actual awareness

of what happened to them, there's hundreds and even thousands who have

no idea. They just feel unlucky, not understanding that deregulation

and greed had everything to do with it and " luck " not a whole lot.

Sorry to be such a bummer but I hope G. and Offit both get the

short ends of the wishbone this year. Their lousy luck (career

setbacks?) in the coming years might mean good luck for us. The things

I'm thankful for lately are all the changes that are happening in

politics and as a result of activism (thanks folks) and then the things

we've been spared. Here's hoping we all have more to be thankful for

next year at this time.