Unlocking Holiday Cheer - Woman with CMT helps others

[Guest guest]

Unlocking Holiday Cheer

http://www2.tbo.com/content/2008/dec/24/pa-unlocking-holiday-cheer/

By CAROLE DICKEY

Trish Mills remembers Christmases past when her young son never got a

present from his dad. The parent was in prison at the time, unable to

shop. It wasn't until years later Mills, now 57, learned about Angel

Tree, a Prison Fellowship program that provides a way for

incarcerated parents to have gifts delivered to their children. Her

husband, now her ex-husband, could have participated, but never did.

" The program had been going on for years, but my son never got a

Christmas present from his dad the two years he was in prison, " Mills

said. " He couldn't care less. "

At that time, in the 1990s, she was a single parent trying to make

ends meet.

" It was really, really tough back then, " she said.

That experience left her with a passion to help other children who

are in the same situation, with one or both parents incarcerated

during the Christmas season, and she began volunteering her time and

efforts.

Mills knows about hardship. She was born with cerebral palsy and also

was diagnosed with Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease, a neurological

disorder, and must use a wheelchair. She also suffers from asthma,

emphysema and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.

" I used to walk and run around, and then as the years have gone on,

here I am, " she said, tapping her wheelchair. " It doesn't stop me

from doing Angel Tree, because that is my gold. I just love it. I

wish it were year-round. "

The Prison Fellowship Angel Tree Christmas program connects

incarcerated parents with their children by contacting the parent and

getting information on the child's age, gender, interests, clothing

sizes and other items. This information, along with a personal note

from the parent to the child, is placed on angel cards, which are

hung on trees in churches and at other organizations. Each child has

two angels hanging on the tree - one specifying clothing and one

requesting a fun present that matches the child's interests.

Volunteers pluck angel cards from the tree, shop for the gifts, wrap

them, and coordinators such as Mills see that the gifts and a message

of Christ's love are delivered to the children. On Christmas, the

children will get the presents from their parents in prison, read the

personal notes, and know their moms or dads did not forget them.

" It's not about what the parents did, " Mills said. " It's about what

the kids need. "

Mills has been coordinating the program at Grace Bible Church in

Hudson for 12 years. Helping her are Diane Dean and Kim Larsen.

" It's a great program, " Larsen said. " It's awesome to see the

response of people. Even family members of mine have taken angels

from the tree. "

Dean agrees. She remembers a time when she and Mills were delivering

gifts to a mother with eight children ranging in age from two to

adult.

The father was in prison for murder. When they knocked on the door, a

3-year-old boy came out to keep them company until the mom could join

them.

" He said his momma was busy and did we want to make mud pies, " Dean

said. " He talked and talked. He had no shoes, but he made sure we

were welcome there. We sat in the dirt and played with him. We had a

blast. "

Grace Bible Church sponsored 28 children this year, and Mills and her

volunteers also coordinated gifts for 28 more children through West

Coast Florida Credit Union. It takes several time-consuming steps to

turn the gift suggestion from the incarcerated parent into a present

for the child's Christmas.

Each request requires a phone call to the parent or caregiver of the

child to make sure the caregiver is OK with having the gift from the

incarcerated parent given to the child. Most of the time the parents

are happy for the child, but sometimes permission is denied.

" There are a lot of men who are incarcerated, and the woman remarries

and the husband they marry doesn't want anything to do with the

incarcerated parent, " Mills said. " But that's not what this is about.

That's where you have to step back and let that child get a gift from

that dad. The stepfather is there, putting a roof over the head and

food in the stomach, and he can be a better father than the

biological dad, but he still needs to back up, because he can never,

ever take the place of the dad. "

The exception, she said, is if the incarcerated parent is guilty of

child sexual abuse. She can understand if the caregiver does not want

contact between the child and the abuser.

Another step in the process is verifying the information in the

requests. Most of the time the requests are valid, but occasionally

the parent tries to scam the program. Mills recalls a prisoner who

listed nine children on the request form, but in checking, she

learned he only had two.

" It's funny. I guess they think I'm stupid, but I'm not, " she

said. " I can't be. There are too many children out there that need to

be covered and it has to be done. "

This year, 418 children in Pasco County are in the Prison Fellowship

Angel Tree program. Of those, 228 have been taken by churches and

organizations for their Angel Trees, but 190 children are left

unclaimed. Fifty toys have been donated for those children, which

will leave 140 children without a present. Various churches and

donors will pick up the slack, but it will probably involve something

being mailed to the " left behind " children, not a hand-picked gift

from the Angel Tree.

HOW YOU CAN HELP

For information on donating a $10 gift card that will be mailed to

190 children whose requests were unclaimed, call (954) 315-2213.

Specify to the agent that your gift is for Pasco County children. For

information, visit www.angeltree.org.