Bad Day

[Guest guest]

He is on meds. He takes Lexapro (for the ODD and OCD features), Abilify (for

aggression), Trileptal (mood stabilizer), Metadate CD (ADHD), Clonidine (to help

him sleep),

Claritin and Singulair (for asthma and allergies).

We've had to adjust his meds in the last year and a half because his aggression

was rising. The Abilify and Lexapro help some, he's not as quick to start

throwing punches. He will, though. It just takes a little longer. That's the

problem, you can't walk away and let him cool off. He just follows you to keep

it going. If you do get him to go to his room to calm down, he back in a couple

of minutes wanting to restart the fight again. And again. And again. I think

we are going to have to find a long-term facility for him. This is everyday

now. Yesterday I found him in the kitchen, wanting to " look " at a sharp knife.

Today we had the same thing. He came storming down the stairs telling me he had

to " look " at something. I knew what he wanted, and I was able to stop him.

Unfortunately, what happens if I can't? I have two other kids as well, having

to go through this day after day. All day long. My husband is on the verge of

giving up. He watches me struggle, day after day, with this. It's all I can do

just to get through each day.

angi

>

> Is your son on any medications? This sounds very similar to things we were

> seeing with my son at this age. Finding the right cocktail of meds was very

> helpful though it did take some adjusting to get to the best meds, dosages,

> etc.

>

>

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf Of angela

> Sent: Wednesday, August 04, 2010 11:48 AM

>

> Subject: ( ) Bad day

>

>

>

>

>

> I don't know what to do anymore. Every day is the same. Taking a shower,

> time for games to be over, anything he doesn't agree with. Everything is a

> battle. I'm so tired. I end up crying every day because I'm just so tired of

> all the fighting. It seems like everything I ask my 12 yo ds to do is wrong

> (to him). I have to stand here and listen to him curse me out, knowing he

> only says it to get a reaction when he's mad. I have to restrain him at

> times to keep him from hurting me or taking off. Can't just walk away and

> let him cool down since he'll just follow me to keep the fight going. He

> listens to other people (outside the family), but won't listen to me or his

> father. He constantly wants to fight (literally) me or his dad or his

> brother. And the hardest part is his little sister has to watch all of this.

> She's the one who loses out the most. At this point, I seriously don't think

> he'll even be able to live on his own.

>

> Angi

>

[Guest guest]

I don't know if you have the same type services available in your location, but here we are covered under a regional center and applied through them for respite which means once a week someone comes to stay with my son while I and other family members (sisters) can take a break.  My son also gets a break from a frazzled mom.  The respite person is trained to deal with my son's uniqueness.  She is very calm and firm and good with him.  They sometimes go to the park or another short trip so we can stay in the house without the turmoil.

Kathy J.On Thu, Aug 5, 2010 at 8:50 AM, Tammy <tvau37@...> wrote:

 

oh and my daughter who just turned 6 suffers and can't keep friends cuz he makes up stories....EVERYONE does everything wrong BUT him.  He wants all the attention and also has a mean streak and blames outbursts on it.  He also hits her daily and makes her cry I have to have constant eyes on him and it wears me down......

From: Elgamal <cindyelgamal@...>Subject: RE: ( ) Bad day

Date: Thursday, August 5, 2010, 12:16 AM

Is your son on any medications?   This sounds very similar to things we were seeing with my son at this age.  Finding the right cocktail of meds was very helpful though it did take some adjusting to get to the best meds, dosages, etc.

 

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of angela

Sent: Wednesday, August 04, 2010 11:48 AM Subject: ( ) Bad day

 

 

I don't know what to do anymore. Every day is the same. Taking a shower, time for games to be over, anything he doesn't agree with. Everything is a battle. I'm so tired. I end up crying every day because I'm just so tired of all the fighting. It seems like everything I ask my 12 yo ds to do is wrong (to him). I have to stand here and listen to him curse me out, knowing he only says it to get a reaction when he's mad. I have to restrain him at times to keep him from hurting me or taking off. Can't just walk away and let him cool down since he'll just follow me to keep the fight going. He listens to other people (outside the family), but won't listen to me or his father. He constantly wants to fight (literally) me or his dad or his brother. And the hardest part is his little sister has to watch all of this. She's the one who loses out the most. At this point, I seriously don't think he'll even be able to live on his

own.Angi

[Guest guest]

Are all of those meds prescribed by the same doctor, preferably a psychiatrist? My son attempted to take an anti-anxiety med when he was 8 and he started acting very strangely and out of the ordinary. I would be concerned with that amount of medication in a child. Are you sharing all of his current behaviors with the prescribing doc? Has he/she ever stated some of the aggressiveness might come from the med combinations? I thought Abilify and Lexapro were for adults?

Is your son receiving any behavioral therapy/modification when he's on these meds? Just having him be on meds won't solve the problem of acting inappropriately. He has to learn the skills first. Have you ever thought about getting a 2nd opinion about the meds?

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: angela <angi_400@...> Sent: Thu, August 5, 2010 12:30:46 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Bad day

He is on meds. He takes Lexapro (for the ODD and OCD features), Abilify (for aggression), Trileptal (mood stabilizer), Metadate CD (ADHD), Clonidine (to help him sleep), Claritin and Singulair (for asthma and allergies).We've had to adjust his meds in the last year and a half because his aggression was rising. The Abilify and Lexapro help some, he's not as quick to start throwing punches. He will, though. It just takes a little longer. That's the problem, you can't walk away and let him cool off. He just follows you to keep it going. If you do get him to go to his room to calm down, he back in a couple of minutes wanting to restart the fight again. And again. And again. I think we are going to have to find a long-term facility for him. This is everyday now. Yesterday I found him in the kitchen, wanting to "look" at a sharp knife. Today we had the same thing. He came storming down the stairs telling me he had to "look" at something. I knew

what he wanted, and I was able to stop him. Unfortunately, what happens if I can't? I have two other kids as well, having to go through this day after day. All day long. My husband is on the verge of giving up. He watches me struggle, day after day, with this. It's all I can do just to get through each day.angi>> Is your son on any medications? This sounds very similar to things we were> seeing with my son at this age. Finding the right cocktail of meds was very> helpful though it did take some adjusting to get to the best meds, dosages,> etc.> > > > From: > [mailto: ] On Behalf Of angela> Sent: Wednesday, August 04, 2010 11:48 AM> > Subject: ( ) Bad day> > > > > > I don't know what to do anymore. Every day is the same. Taking a shower,> time for games to be over, anything he doesn't agree with. Everything is a> battle. I'm so tired. I end up crying every day because I'm just so tired of> all the fighting. It seems like everything I ask my 12 yo ds to do is wrong> (to him). I

have to stand here and listen to him curse me out, knowing he> only says it to get a reaction when he's mad. I have to restrain him at> times to keep him from hurting me or taking off. Can't just walk away and> let him cool down since he'll just follow me to keep the fight going. He> listens to other people (outside the family), but won't listen to me or his> father. He constantly wants to fight (literally) me or his dad or his> brother. And the hardest part is his little sister has to watch all of this.> She's the one who loses out the most. At this point, I seriously don't think> he'll even be able to live on his own.> > Angi>

[Guest guest]

Sounds like you really need some outside help to help you figure out how to manage him and teach him skills to cope better than he is doing. Someone who is a behavioral expert could do a behavioral analysis and help you figure out how to manage things better.

I'd give some ideas but I really think the scope of the problem is so big that you need someone there to help you sort things out! Do you know of any agencies in your area that provide help for developmental disabilities? If you can afford help, you can look up autism consultants, autism behavioral consultant, or the like in your area as well.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Bad day

I don't know what to do anymore. Every day is the same. Taking a shower, time for games to be over, anything he doesn't agree with. Everything is a battle. I'm so tired. I end up crying every day because I'm just so tired of all the fighting. It seems like everything I ask my 12 yo ds to do is wrong (to him). I have to stand here and listen to him curse me out, knowing he only says it to get a reaction when he's mad. I have to restrain him at times to keep him from hurting me or taking off. Can't just walk away and let him cool down since he'll just follow me to keep the fight going. He listens to other people (outside the family), but won't listen to me or his father. He constantly wants to fight (literally) me or his dad or his brother. And the hardest part is his little sister has to watch all of this. She's the one who loses out the most. At this point, I seriously don't think he'll even be able to live on his own.

Angi

[Guest guest]

We have a psychiatrist here, and a therapist who specializes in Autism. He was

admitted for in-patient treatment for a week at the end of April. We have had

continuous service since he was 3, for behavior modification therapies and

learning how to deal with his anger outbursts. We still go every other week,

especially since the behaviors are getting worse with puberty. Our major

problem is that we can't figure out how to help control his anger. We moved

here about a year ago becuase we couldn't get appropriate educational services

for him at our last military base. The educational system here is better for

our son, unfortunately we have more issues at home now for some reason. Can't

seem to get both in line. If we get one going good, the other falls apart. No

happy medium that we've found yet.

Angi

>

> Sounds like you really need some outside help to help you figure out how to

manage him and teach him skills to cope better than he is doing. Someone who is

a behavioral expert could do a behavioral analysis and help you figure out how

to manage things better.

>

> I'd give some ideas but I really think the scope of the problem is so big that

you need someone there to help you sort things out! Do you know of any agencies

in your area that provide help for developmental disabilities? If you can

afford help, you can look up autism consultants, autism behavioral consultant,

or the like in your area as well.

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Roxanna

> Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

>

>

>

>

>

> ( ) Bad day

>

>

>

>

>

> I don't know what to do anymore. Every day is the same. Taking a shower,

time for games to be over, anything he doesn't agree with. Everything is a

battle. I'm so tired. I end up crying every day because I'm just so tired of

all the fighting. It seems like everything I ask my 12 yo ds to do is wrong (to

him). I have to stand here and listen to him curse me out, knowing he only says

it to get a reaction when he's mad. I have to restrain him at times to keep him

from hurting me or taking off. Can't just walk away and let him cool down since

he'll just follow me to keep the fight going. He listens to other people

(outside the family), but won't listen to me or his father. He constantly wants

to fight (literally) me or his dad or his brother. And the hardest part is his

little sister has to watch all of this. She's the one who loses out the most.

At this point, I seriously don't think he'll even be able to live on his own.

>

> Angi

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, they are prescribed by a psychiatrist. The Lexapro is fairly new. He's

only been on it for a couple of months now. I've told his doctors (both his

psychiatrist and his therapist) what is going on. Neither has mentioned that a

med combo could be causing the increased aggression. We went to this

combonation, adding the Lexapro, Abilify and Clonadine in order to try and

combat some of the aggression. It worked originally, but as time goes by, it

seems to be less effective.

We do use behavior modification therapy here. He goes every week to see a

specialist in Austism that we just found. Before we started with her, he was

going every other week to a therapist who worked with him on prompts to help him

remember to calm down, and other issues. We may see improvement briefly (like a

day or less) after a therapy session, and then it's right back to what we had

before, even with us giving him the prompts and using the other strategies in

place.

He had the ability to self-regulate his anger control until about 2 1/2 years

ago. The last military base we were at had poor educational services for HF

Autism/Asperger's kids. They would just send him home every day if they

encountered any resistance from him. That or they would push at him until he

lost control. Going to school like that for 2 years pretty much destroyed his

self-control when it comes to his emotions. Now we are having to re-learn it

all, but with a child going through puberty, instead of a younger child.

We've had second and thrid opinions on his meds. Right now we are trying to get

into a specialty clinic at the university here in our town to see if they have

any new ideas. However the wait is extrordinarily long. 6 months or longer just

for them to evaluate the casefile, and then 6 months to a year after that before

you can be seen.

We're just trying to find a way to make it through until we can find someone

with a new idea.....

Angi

> >

> > Is your son on any medications? This sounds very similar to things we were

> > seeing with my son at this age. Finding the right cocktail of meds was very

> > helpful though it did take some adjusting to get to the best meds, dosages,

> > etc.

> >

> >

> >

> > From:

> > [mailto: ] On Behalf Of angela

> > Sent: Wednesday, August 04, 2010 11:48 AM

> >

> > Subject: ( ) Bad day

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > I don't know what to do anymore. Every day is the same. Taking a shower,

> > time for games to be over, anything he doesn't agree with. Everything is a

> > battle. I'm so tired. I end up crying every day because I'm just so tired of

> > all the fighting. It seems like everything I ask my 12 yo ds to do is wrong

> > (to him). I have to stand here and listen to him curse me out, knowing he

> > only says it to get a reaction when he's mad. I have to restrain him at

> > times to keep him from hurting me or taking off. Can't just walk away and

> > let him cool down since he'll just follow me to keep the fight going. He

> > listens to other people (outside the family), but won't listen to me or his

> > father. He constantly wants to fight (literally) me or his dad or his

> > brother. And the hardest part is his little sister has to watch all of this.

> > She's the one who loses out the most. At this point, I seriously don't think

> > he'll even be able to live on his own.

> >

> > Angi

> >

>

[Guest guest]

My son is on a cocktail of meds. We only used meds as a last resort. Sometimes, these kids, esp the ones who have Bipolar, just have to have these meds. My son is on Lamictal, zoloft, and strattera.Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: MacAllister <smacalli@...>Sender: Date: Thu, 5 Aug 2010 15:19:10 -0700 (PDT)< >Reply Subject: Re: ( ) Bad day Are all of those meds prescribed by the same doctor, preferably a psychiatrist? My son attempted to take an anti-anxiety med when he was 8 and he started acting very strangely and out of the ordinary. I would be concerned with that amount of medication in a child. Are you sharing all of his current behaviors with the prescribing doc? Has he/she ever stated some of the aggressiveness might come from the med combinations? I thought Abilify and Lexapro were for adults? Is your son receiving any behavioral therapy/modification when he's on these meds? Just having him be on meds won't solve the problem of acting inappropriately. He has to learn the skills first. Have you ever thought about getting a 2nd opinion about the meds? "Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out." From: angela <angi_400 > Sent: Thu, August 5, 2010 12:30:46 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Bad day He is on meds. He takes Lexapro (for the ODD and OCD features), Abilify (for aggression), Trileptal (mood stabilizer), Metadate CD (ADHD), Clonidine (to help him sleep), Claritin and Singulair (for asthma and allergies).We've had to adjust his meds in the last year and a half because his aggression was rising. The Abilify and Lexapro help some, he's not as quick to start throwing punches. He will, though. It just takes a little longer. That's the problem, you can't walk away and let him cool off. He just follows you to keep it going. If you do get him to go to his room to calm down, he back in a couple of minutes wanting to restart the fight again. And again. And again. I think we are going to have to find a long-term facility for him. This is everyday now. Yesterday I found him in the kitchen, wanting to "look" at a sharp knife. Today we had the same thing. He came storming down the stairs telling me he had to "look" at something. I knewwhat he wanted, and I was able to stop him. Unfortunately, what happens if I can't? I have two other kids as well, having to go through this day after day. All day long. My husband is on the verge of giving up. He watches me struggle, day after day, with this. It's all I can do just to get through each day.angi>> Is your son on any medications? This sounds very similar to things we were> seeing with my son at this age. Finding the right cocktail of meds was very> helpful though it did take some adjusting to get to the best meds, dosages,> etc.> > > > From: > [mailto: ] On Behalf Of angela> Sent: Wednesday, August 04, 2010 11:48 AM> > Subject: ( ) Bad day> > > > > > I don't know what to do anymore. Every day is the same. Taking a shower,> time for games to be over, anything he doesn't agree with. Everything is a> battle. I'm so tired. I end up crying every day because I'm just so tired of> all the fighting. It seems like everything I ask my 12 yo ds to do is wrong> (to him). Ihave to stand here and listen to him curse me out, knowing he> only says it to get a reaction when he's mad. I have to restrain him at> times to keep him from hurting me or taking off. Can't just walk away and> let him cool down since he'll just follow me to keep the fight going. He> listens to other people (outside the family), but won't listen to me or his> father. He constantly wants to fight (literally) me or his dad or his> brother. And the hardest part is his little sister has to watch all of this.> She's the one who loses out the most. At this point, I seriously don't think> he'll even be able to live on his own.> > Angi>