Guest guest Posted January 28, 2008 Report Share Posted January 28, 2008 Liz...believe it or not there are only 4 kids and two aides in the classroom...plus the teacher. One aide could EASILY go with my daughter to the regular classroom even for half the day. It would also give the other kid a break that she's having trouble with. Liz Bohn <lbohn@...> wrote: , I forget, does your daughter have an aide in the classroom? Liz On Jan 28, 2008, at 6:51 PM, Neylon wrote: Thanks for all the comments....Dee actually, I am the opposite and have been told I am too hard on my daughter. The school feels I should not punish her for poor school behavior and in the past I have been very consistent with punishments that did not work. The only thing I am wild about is the aggression which has gotten worse in the smaller classroom. I don't punish her anymore (it does nothing) but I find I disengage and feel like I don't want to be around her. I feel like she has ruined something that I had looked forward to my whole life and now they may want to put her out of public school. Even if she has Asperger's, I can't understand why she would get so out of control as to put her hands on someone. She has attacked that boy several times and pushed and shoved teachers. What leg do I have to stand on with that kind of behavior. I am thinking I should call my advocate tonight, but I don't even know what to say. The only improve ment this year is that since the medication (she took Risperdal and now Abilify) she comes back around and continue her school day after an episode. Last year she would just go on and on and we would have to pick her up. I am actually lucky they have not suspended her. She is my only child and I feel like we are both missing out on a huge part of childhood. I can't even walk into her school without feeling sick. you the stranger who took a chanceheld me at a distance so I could see myselfso thank you for everything you gave without knowingand thank you for letting me fall in loveyou the stranger who took a chanceheld me at a distance so I could see myselfso thank you for everything you gave without knowingand thank you for letting me fall in lovewithout withholdingwithout withholding "The Stranger" ( Ferrick) Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 28, 2008 Report Share Posted January 28, 2008 Good grief, . It sounds like maybe the teacher needs a consultation with an autism expert. When my son was in middle school (and even high school), they ALWAYS sent an aide when the kids were mainstreamed for a subject. That sounds like a good idea. Surely a teacher and an aide could handle the remaining children???LizOn Jan 28, 2008, at 8:34 PM, Neylon wrote:Liz...believe it or not there are only 4 kids and two aides in the classroom...plus the teacher. One aide could EASILY go with my daughter to the regular classroom even for half the day. It would also give the other kid a break that she's having trouble with.Liz Bohn <lbohn@...> wrote:,I forget, does your daughter have an aide in the classroom?Liz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 28, 2008 Report Share Posted January 28, 2008 Thanks for all the comments....Dee actually, I am the opposite and have been told I am too hard on my daughter. The school feels I should not punish her for poor school behavior and in the past I have been very consistent with punishments that did not work. The only thing I am wild about is the aggression which has gotten worse in the smaller classroom. I don't punish her anymore (it does nothing) but I find I disengage and feel like I don't want to be around her. Dee ><)))*> Allow me to point something out about schools (unless one is extremely elite). They do not employ Autism Specialists. If they used the word punish, rather than discipline, then the teachers there are less educated in psychology than most. For year now the work discipline is preferable over the word punish due to meaning. We discipline (instruct) children to teach them....we punish criminals for the breaking the law. <vbg> Children someone pick up on the difference in terminology even when they don't know the meanings of each just by the way the adults use the words generally in conversation to other adults. There are many forms of discipline depending on circumstance and they need not be harsh or unhappy for the child, but a child NEEDS discipline or they get out of hand. Perhaps the lack of discipline is what you are seeing here with your daughter. She is scared because she knows she is out of control and no one is stopping her ! That is a scary thing. Not sure why the subject came up at because I did not mention discipline that I recall. = ) IMO (as a health care professional and Mom of an Aspie who spent 5 plus years every other week learning from a specialist) I can say the school is WRONG and I think they are actually contributing to her behavior problems. I feel like she has ruined something that I had looked forward to my whole life and now they may want to put her out of public school. Even if she has Asperger's, I can't understand why she would get so out of control as to put her hands on someone. She has attacked that boy several times and pushed and shoved teachers. What leg do I have to stand on with that kind of behavior. I am thinking I should call my advocate tonight, but I don't even know what to say. Dee ><)))*> Start off by telling her what you just said here. The school told me not to discipline her and now her behavior is affecting her in school. I have talked to others with Asperger kids as well as health care professionals familiar with it and have come to the conclusion the school is wrong and making her worse. The only improvement this year is that since! themedication (she took Risperdal and now Abilify) she comes back around and continue her school day after an episode. Last year she would just go on and on and we would have to pick her up. I am actually lucky they have not suspended her. She is my only child and I feel like we are both missing out on a huge part of childhood. I can't even walk into her school without feeling sick.Dee ><)))*> Who is prescribing the medications for her? An M.D. specializing in ASD or a Pediatrician/family doctor or ??? Was this a doctor of your choice or the schools? You will need a doctor behind you to help rectify this type of mind set. Do you see a counselor who has clinical experience with autistic kids? Someone who actually worked in a hospital or clinic during their practice to help the learn in-depth about these kids? That would be one of your best advocates. The best way to help you and your daughter both is NOT allow schools to become the authority they think they are. Just because they had a little training in special ed does NOT make them an authority on anything but different teaching methods and knowing a little surface stuff about what may be seen in kids with special needs. That would be like letting the someone watch a video on brain surgery operate on your child's head. They have neither the indepth learning of atypical diagnosis nor the training to know what to do should something unexpected happen in the "surgery". Asperger's is not a cookie cutter condition. The same way Autism can present itself in many ways, so too, Asperger kids present themselves differently with *some* similar behaviors. A teacher can not say "this worked for us before" because your daughter was not the "before" they worked with. Dee ><)))*>Snohomish County, WA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2008 Report Share Posted January 29, 2008 , Your daughter is doing these things b/c she gets over stimulated. (my opinion) Has she been tested for sensory issues? We had to come up with things in the IEP to help with the sensory issues. She might need a place to "chill" when she feels or when they see she is getting over stimulated. Just a suggestion. When you call your advocate (great to have one BTW) tell her what is going on. She has probably been exposed to this and can help with accommodations or suggestions for further testing in order to get back up for any request you have for the school in order to help her. Hope this makes sense. in GA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 Gee I don't know. We are our son's (he is 39yrs old) legal guardian but he still votes. He could drive but never did. He just does not know how to handle $. Betty Patti Journey <pjpoo78363@...> wrote: My son will be 18 in April. We've heard it is best to go to a lawyer and make ourselves his legal guardian. Is that what you parents here did when your child turned 18? Does this mean they can't vote? Cuz he wants to vote real bad in November, and he wants to drive one day, we are still teaching him that. Will he have to give up every thing if we do this? pj Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Take care, Betty Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 Thanks Betty for your answer. Our son spends every dime he gets so I know we need to do something to protect him from himself. haha Also what scares me is all the credit cards that would be sent to him. We get them almost every day, I'm sick of them. ugh! Is it good to find a lawyer that specializes in this or does it matter? pj Gee I don't know. We are our son's (he is 39yrs old) legal guardian but he still votes. He could drive but never did. He just does not know how to handle $. Betty Patti Journey <pjpoo78363 (DOT) com> wrote: My son will be 18 in April. We've heard it is best to go to a lawyer and make ourselves his legal guardian. Is that what you parents here did when your child turned 18? Does this mean they can't vote? Cuz he wants to vote real bad in November, and he wants to drive one day, we are still teaching him that. Will he have to give up every thing if we do this? pj Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Take care, Betty Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 Hey Patti - I just got home from the post office where we registered my 18 yo ds to vote! Since he is still in school and living with us, we haven't had worried too much yet about power of attorney, b/c right now most of our time and money is spent on the younger ds due process case. But, we are at some point going to get power of attorney for medical and financial, not sure what it's called and how it's worded. We also have a special needs trust set up to protect any money he may come into. And, don't forget about the Selective Service! All males 18-25 must register within 30 days of their 18th birthday. We didn't fill that out because you must use black ink and I only had purple and blue! LOL We brought it home to mail in tomorrow. And the chart of who must register reads, "Handicapped physically or mentally, Able to function in public with or without assistance, YES." "Handicapped physically or mentally, Continually confined to a residence, hospital, or institution, NO." I was really hoping he would not have to, but my husband pointed out he would never be accepted, so what's the harm? It made him feel so much more grown up and confident, so that was worth it! And, as far as $ goes, forget it. I believe he would choose (5) one dollar bills or (1) ten dollar bill. Duh, 5 is more than 1, right? Someday, we will get there! And we can get to the mail before he sees any credit card offers. Trish -----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Patti JourneySent: Friday, February 08, 2008 3:15 PM Subject: Re: ( ) Need advice Thanks Betty for your answer. Our son spends every dime he gets so I know we need to do something to protect him from himself. haha Also what scares me is all the credit cards that would be sent to him. We get them almost every day, I'm sick of them. ugh! Is it good to find a lawyer that specializes in this or does it matter? pj Gee I don't know. We are our son's (he is 39yrs old) legal guardian but he still votes. He could drive but never did. He just does not know how to handle $. Betty Patti Journey <pjpoo78363 (DOT) com> wrote: My son will be 18 in April. We've heard it is best to go to a lawyer and make ourselves his legal guardian. Is that what you parents here did when your child turned 18? Does this mean they can't vote? Cuz he wants to vote real bad in November, and he wants to drive one day, we are still teaching him that. Will he have to give up every thing if we do this? pj Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Take care, Betty Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 Trisha, You mentioned you have a 'special needs trust fund'. is that the same as a 3rd party trust fund? did you need a lawyer for that? if so, how much was he? I called just one attorney for a 3rd party trust fund, and they charge $1800 dollars. Also, not many lawyers do this. How did you find yours?. Thank you for any advice you can share. I'm very interested in getting this started for my son. Rose.Trisha Rice <rice.trish@...> wrote: Hey Patti - I just got home from the post office where we registered my 18 yo ds to vote! Since he is still in school and living with us, we haven't had worried too much yet about power of attorney, b/c right now most of our time and money is spent on the younger ds due process case. But, we are at some point going to get power of attorney for medical and financial, not sure what it's called and how it's worded. We also have a special needs trust set up to protect any money he may come into. And, don't forget about the Selective Service! All males 18-25 must register within 30 days of their 18th birthday. We didn't fill that out because you must use black ink and I only had purple and blue! LOL We brought it home to mail in tomorrow. And the chart of who must register reads, "Handicapped physically or mentally, Able to function in public with or without assistance, YES." "Handicapped physically or mentally, Continually confined to a residence, hospital, or institution, NO." I was really hoping he would not have to, but my husband pointed out he would never be accepted, so what's the harm? It made him feel so much more grown up and confident, so that was worth it! And, as far as $ goes, forget it. I believe he would choose (5) one dollar bills or (1) ten dollar bill. Duh, 5 is more than 1, right? Someday, we will get there! And we can get to the mail before he sees any credit card offers. Trish -----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Patti JourneySent: Friday, February 08, 2008 3:15 PM Subject: Re: ( ) Need advice Thanks Betty for your answer. Our son spends every dime he gets so I know we need to do something to protect him from himself. haha Also what scares me is all the credit cards that would be sent to him. We get them almost every day, I'm sick of them. ugh! Is it good to find a lawyer that specializes in this or does it matter? pj Gee I don't know. We are our son's (he is 39yrs old) legal guardian but he still votes. He could drive but never did. He just does not know how to handle $. Betty Patti Journey <pjpoo78363 (DOT) com> wrote: My son will be 18 in April. We've heard it is best to go to a lawyer and make ourselves his legal guardian. Is that what you parents here did when your child turned 18? Does this mean they can't vote? Cuz he wants to vote real bad in November, and he wants to drive one day, we are still teaching him that. Will he have to give up every thing if we do this? pj Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Take care, Betty Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 Oh Rose, you're making me think! We've had it for so long now that I don't remember a lot about it. I do know we used a financial planner to begin with and he referred us to the lawyer that drew up the papers. Unfortunately, the Special Needs Planner died a few years ago, and I don't know who replaced him here in the Dallas Fort Worth Area. In the Houston area there is Rhatigan that does this sort of thing. But I would think that wherever you are, you could search for Special Needs Planners and come up with something, either financial guys or lawyers. I'm not sure what the 3rd party trust is, but I know our paperwork specifically says it's for his needs other than what government assistance can pay for, or something to that effect. It essentially protects any money from the $2000 limit imposed by Medicaid. Medicaid is not going to buy him Papa 's pizza every Friday night, nor will they replace the broken game cube or tv that is as much a requirement as clothing, food, and shelter. I would really search to find one who is experienced in this type of planning, or is being mentored by someone in this type of planning. A couple of commas or words in the wrong place, and they've got you. Tell me again where you live? Trish -----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of RoseSent: Friday, February 08, 2008 4:13 PM Subject: RE: ( ) Need advice Trisha, You mentioned you have a 'special needs trust fund'. is that the same as a 3rd party trust fund? did you need a lawyer for that? if so, how much was he? I called just one attorney for a 3rd party trust fund, and they charge $1800 dollars. Also, not many lawyers do this. How did you find yours?. Thank you for any advice you can share. I'm very interested in getting this started for my son. Rose.Trisha Rice <rice.trishtx (DOT) rr.com> wrote: Hey Patti - I just got home from the post office where we registered my 18 yo ds to vote! Since he is still in school and living with us, we haven't had worried too much yet about power of attorney, b/c right now most of our time and money is spent on the younger ds due process case. But, we are at some point going to get power of attorney for medical and financial, not sure what it's called and how it's worded. We also have a special needs trust set up to protect any money he may come into. And, don't forget about the Selective Service! All males 18-25 must register within 30 days of their 18th birthday. We didn't fill that out because you must use black ink and I only had purple and blue! LOL We brought it home to mail in tomorrow. And the chart of who must register reads, "Handicapped physically or mentally, Able to function in public with or without assistance, YES." "Handicapped physically or mentally, Continually confined to a residence, hospital, or institution, NO." I was really hoping he would not have to, but my husband pointed out he would never be accepted, so what's the harm? It made him feel so much more grown up and confident, so that was worth it! And, as far as $ goes, forget it. I believe he would choose (5) one dollar bills or (1) ten dollar bill. Duh, 5 is more than 1, right? Someday, we will get there! And we can get to the mail before he sees any credit card offers. Trish -----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Patti JourneySent: Friday, February 08, 2008 3:15 PM Subject: Re: ( ) Need advice Thanks Betty for your answer. Our son spends every dime he gets so I know we need to do something to protect him from himself. haha Also what scares me is all the credit cards that would be sent to him. We get them almost every day, I'm sick of them. ugh! Is it good to find a lawyer that specializes in this or does it matter? pj Gee I don't know. We are our son's (he is 39yrs old) legal guardian but he still votes. He could drive but never did. He just does not know how to handle $. Betty Patti Journey <pjpoo78363 (DOT) com> wrote: My son will be 18 in April. We've heard it is best to go to a lawyer and make ourselves his legal guardian. Is that what you parents here did when your child turned 18? Does this mean they can't vote? Cuz he wants to vote real bad in November, and he wants to drive one day, we are still teaching him that. Will he have to give up every thing if we do this? pj Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Take care, Betty Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 Trisha, thanks for responding, We live in New York. The 3rd party trust plan is the same as your special needs plan. That no one can touch his money. (not that we have any) but I would like to set him up with an account. (birthday money, holiday money etc..) not much would be in there, but at least I know it will be his money...Someone told me their son lives in a group home and they can't touch "that money" in his 3rd party trust fun. its his. is that true?. I had to laugh when the lawyer said $1800.00 to set up an account. And I was going to put $10.00 in it. hahahaha. either way, I have to set one up. RoseTrisha Rice <rice.trish@...> wrote: Oh Rose, you're making me think! We've had it for so long now that I don't remember a lot about it. I do know we used a financial planner to begin with and he referred us to the lawyer that drew up the papers. Unfortunately, the Special Needs Planner died a few years ago, and I don't know who replaced him here in the Dallas Fort Worth Area. In the Houston area there is Rhatigan that does this sort of thing. But I would think that wherever you are, you could search for Special Needs Planners and come up with something, either financial guys or lawyers. I'm not sure what the 3rd party trust is, but I know our paperwork specifically says it's for his needs other than what government assistance can pay for, or something to that effect. It essentially protects any money from the $2000 limit imposed by Medicaid. Medicaid is not going to buy him Papa 's pizza every Friday night, nor will they replace the broken game cube or tv that is as much a requirement as clothing, food, and shelter. I would really search to find one who is experienced in this type of planning, or is being mentored by someone in this type of planning. A couple of commas or words in the wrong place, and they've got you. Tell me again where you live? Trish -----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of RoseSent: Friday, February 08, 2008 4:13 PM Subject: RE: ( ) Need advice Trisha, You mentioned you have a 'special needs trust fund'. is that the same as a 3rd party trust fund? did you need a lawyer for that? if so, how much was he? I called just one attorney for a 3rd party trust fund, and they charge $1800 dollars. Also, not many lawyers do this. How did you find yours?. Thank you for any advice you can share. I'm very interested in getting this started for my son. Rose.Trisha Rice <rice.trishtx (DOT) rr.com> wrote: Hey Patti - I just got home from the post office where we registered my 18 yo ds to vote! Since he is still in school and living with us, we haven't had worried too much yet about power of attorney, b/c right now most of our time and money is spent on the younger ds due process case. But, we are at some point going to get power of attorney for medical and financial, not sure what it's called and how it's worded. We also have a special needs trust set up to protect any money he may come into. And, don't forget about the Selective Service! All males 18-25 must register within 30 days of their 18th birthday. We didn't fill that out because you must use black ink and I only had purple and blue! LOL We brought it home to mail in tomorrow. And the chart of who must register reads, "Handicapped physically or mentally, Able to function in public with or without assistance, YES." "Handicapped physically or mentally, Continually confined to a residence, hospital, or institution, NO." I was really hoping he would not have to, but my husband pointed out he would never be accepted, so what's the harm? It made him feel so much more grown up and confident, so that was worth it! And, as far as $ goes, forget it. I believe he would choose (5) one dollar bills or (1) ten dollar bill. Duh, 5 is more than 1, right? Someday, we will get there! And we can get to the mail before he sees any credit card offers. Trish -----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Patti JourneySent: Friday, February 08, 2008 3:15 PM Subject: Re: ( ) Need advice Thanks Betty for your answer. Our son spends every dime he gets so I know we need to do something to protect him from himself. haha Also what scares me is all the credit cards that would be sent to him. We get them almost every day, I'm sick of them. ugh! Is it good to find a lawyer that specializes in this or does it matter? pj Gee I don't know. We are our son's (he is 39yrs old) legal guardian but he still votes. He could drive but never did. He just does not know how to handle $. Betty Patti Journey <pjpoo78363 (DOT) com> wrote: My son will be 18 in April. We've heard it is best to go to a lawyer and make ourselves his legal guardian. Is that what you parents here did when your child turned 18? Does this mean they can't vote? Cuz he wants to vote real bad in November, and he wants to drive one day, we are still teaching him that. Will he have to give up every thing if we do this? pj Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Take care, Betty Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Never miss a thing. Make your homepage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 We don't have money either, but my dad bought him savings bonds every year from the time he was born until we figured out he can't have them in his name. We were going to cash them in and open the trust with that, but instead he's gotten a replacement gamecube, and a replacement TV, and who knows what else we will have to replace! I'm assuming that someday we will get to put money in it! I don't remember how much it cost to get it all set up, but it was 5-7 years ago, and it was around $1000 give or take some. Trish -----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of RoseSent: Friday, February 08, 2008 4:45 PM Subject: RE: ( ) Need advice Trisha, thanks for responding, We live in New York. The 3rd party trust plan is the same as your special needs plan. That no one can touch his money. (not that we have any) but I would like to set him up with an account. (birthday money, holiday money etc..) not much would be in there, but at least I know it will be his money...Someone told me their son lives in a group home and they can't touch "that money" in his 3rd party trust fun. its his. is that true?. I had to laugh when the lawyer said $1800.00 to set up an account. And I was going to put $10.00 in it. hahahaha. either way, I have to set one up. RoseTrisha Rice <rice.trishtx (DOT) rr.com> wrote: Oh Rose, you're making me think! We've had it for so long now that I don't remember a lot about it. I do know we used a financial planner to begin with and he referred us to the lawyer that drew up the papers. Unfortunately, the Special Needs Planner died a few years ago, and I don't know who replaced him here in the Dallas Fort Worth Area. In the Houston area there is Rhatigan that does this sort of thing. But I would think that wherever you are, you could search for Special Needs Planners and come up with something, either financial guys or lawyers. I'm not sure what the 3rd party trust is, but I know our paperwork specifically says it's for his needs other than what government assistance can pay for, or something to that effect. It essentially protects any money from the $2000 limit imposed by Medicaid. Medicaid is not going to buy him Papa 's pizza every Friday night, nor will they replace the broken game cube or tv that is as much a requirement as clothing, food, and shelter. I would really search to find one who is experienced in this type of planning, or is being mentored by someone in this type of planning. A couple of commas or words in the wrong place, and they've got you. Tell me again where you live? Trish -----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of RoseSent: Friday, February 08, 2008 4:13 PM Subject: RE: ( ) Need advice Trisha, You mentioned you have a 'special needs trust fund'. is that the same as a 3rd party trust fund? did you need a lawyer for that? if so, how much was he? I called just one attorney for a 3rd party trust fund, and they charge $1800 dollars. Also, not many lawyers do this. How did you find yours?. Thank you for any advice you can share. I'm very interested in getting this started for my son. Rose.Trisha Rice <rice.trishtx (DOT) rr.com> wrote: Hey Patti - I just got home from the post office where we registered my 18 yo ds to vote! Since he is still in school and living with us, we haven't had worried too much yet about power of attorney, b/c right now most of our time and money is spent on the younger ds due process case. But, we are at some point going to get power of attorney for medical and financial, not sure what it's called and how it's worded. We also have a special needs trust set up to protect any money he may come into. And, don't forget about the Selective Service! All males 18-25 must register within 30 days of their 18th birthday. We didn't fill that out because you must use black ink and I only had purple and blue! LOL We brought it home to mail in tomorrow. And the chart of who must register reads, "Handicapped physically or mentally, Able to function in public with or without assistance, YES." "Handicapped physically or mentally, Continually confined to a residence, hospital, or institution, NO." I was really hoping he would not have to, but my husband pointed out he would never be accepted, so what's the harm? It made him feel so much more grown up and confident, so that was worth it! And, as far as $ goes, forget it. I believe he would choose (5) one dollar bills or (1) ten dollar bill. Duh, 5 is more than 1, right? Someday, we will get there! And we can get to the mail before he sees any credit card offers. Trish -----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Patti JourneySent: Friday, February 08, 2008 3:15 PM Subject: Re: ( ) Need advice Thanks Betty for your answer. Our son spends every dime he gets so I know we need to do something to protect him from himself. haha Also what scares me is all the credit cards that would be sent to him. We get them almost every day, I'm sick of them. ugh! Is it good to find a lawyer that specializes in this or does it matter? pj Gee I don't know. We are our son's (he is 39yrs old) legal guardian but he still votes. He could drive but never did. He just does not know how to handle $. Betty Patti Journey <pjpoo78363 (DOT) com> wrote: My son will be 18 in April. We've heard it is best to go to a lawyer and make ourselves his legal guardian. Is that what you parents here did when your child turned 18? Does this mean they can't vote? Cuz he wants to vote real bad in November, and he wants to drive one day, we are still teaching him that. Will he have to give up every thing if we do this? pj Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Take care, Betty Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Never miss a thing. Make your homepage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 Trisha, thanks for responding, We live in New York. The 3rd party trust plan is the same as your special needs plan. That no one can touch his money. (not that we have any) but I would like to set him up with an account. (birthday money, holiday money etc..) not much would be in there, but at least I know it will be his money...Someone told me their son lives in a group home and they can't touch "that money" in his 3rd party trust fun. its his. is that true?. I had to laugh when the lawyer said $1800.00 to set up an account. And I was going to put $10.00 in it. hahahaha. either way, I have to set one up. RoseTrisha Rice <rice.trish@...> wrote: Oh Rose, you're making me think! We've had it for so long now that I don't remember a lot about it. I do know we used a financial planner to begin with and he referred us to the lawyer that drew up the papers. Unfortunately, the Special Needs Planner died a few years ago, and I don't know who replaced him here in the Dallas Fort Worth Area. In the Houston area there is Rhatigan that does this sort of thing. But I would think that wherever you are, you could search for Special Needs Planners and come up with something, either financial guys or lawyers. I'm not sure what the 3rd party trust is, but I know our paperwork specifically says it's for his needs other than what government assistance can pay for, or something to that effect. It essentially protects any money from the $2000 limit imposed by Medicaid. Medicaid is not going to buy him Papa 's pizza every Friday night, nor will they replace the broken game cube or tv that is as much a requirement as clothing, food, and shelter. I would really search to find one who is experienced in this type of planning, or is being mentored by someone in this type of planning. A couple of commas or words in the wrong place, and they've got you. Tell me again where you live? Trish -----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of RoseSent: Friday, February 08, 2008 4:13 PM Subject: RE: ( ) Need advice Trisha, You mentioned you have a 'special needs trust fund'. is that the same as a 3rd party trust fund? did you need a lawyer for that? if so, how much was he? I called just one attorney for a 3rd party trust fund, and they charge $1800 dollars. Also, not many lawyers do this. How did you find yours?. Thank you for any advice you can share. I'm very interested in getting this started for my son. Rose.Trisha Rice <rice.trishtx (DOT) rr.com> wrote: Hey Patti - I just got home from the post office where we registered my 18 yo ds to vote! Since he is still in school and living with us, we haven't had worried too much yet about power of attorney, b/c right now most of our time and money is spent on the younger ds due process case. But, we are at some point going to get power of attorney for medical and financial, not sure what it's called and how it's worded. We also have a special needs trust set up to protect any money he may come into. And, don't forget about the Selective Service! All males 18-25 must register within 30 days of their 18th birthday. We didn't fill that out because you must use black ink and I only had purple and blue! LOL We brought it home to mail in tomorrow. And the chart of who must register reads, "Handicapped physically or mentally, Able to function in public with or without assistance, YES." "Handicapped physically or mentally, Continually confined to a residence, hospital, or institution, NO." I was really hoping he would not have to, but my husband pointed out he would never be accepted, so what's the harm? It made him feel so much more grown up and confident, so that was worth it! And, as far as $ goes, forget it. I believe he would choose (5) one dollar bills or (1) ten dollar bill. Duh, 5 is more than 1, right? Someday, we will get there! And we can get to the mail before he sees any credit card offers. Trish -----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Patti JourneySent: Friday, February 08, 2008 3:15 PM Subject: Re: ( ) Need advice Thanks Betty for your answer. Our son spends every dime he gets so I know we need to do something to protect him from himself. haha Also what scares me is all the credit cards that would be sent to him. We get them almost every day, I'm sick of them. ugh! Is it good to find a lawyer that specializes in this or does it matter? pj Gee I don't know. We are our son's (he is 39yrs old) legal guardian but he still votes. He could drive but never did. He just does not know how to handle $. Betty Patti Journey <pjpoo78363 (DOT) com> wrote: My son will be 18 in April. We've heard it is best to go to a lawyer and make ourselves his legal guardian. Is that what you parents here did when your child turned 18? Does this mean they can't vote? Cuz he wants to vote real bad in November, and he wants to drive one day, we are still teaching him that. Will he have to give up every thing if we do this? pj Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Take care, Betty Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 I just got this request for information about that very thing...you should respond with your good information. We are still flopping around, trying to figure out how to pay our current bills, much less a trust! this came on another list: <Dear families (and clinicians): The following comes from a features writer that wrote a great piece that GRASP was quoted in (I think it was 2005) in the Chronicle of Higher Education. If you can relate to this request, she'll probably do your concerns justice. This would be a nice piece to see out there :-) ---- " I am writing a story for the AARP Bulletin about parents age 50- plus who have adult children with developmental disabilities. Currently, I'm trying to piece together what the situation looks like for people in this situation from across the country and, if you fall into this demographic, I'd like to hear from you. Here's what I'm looking for: • Please tell me briefly about your family situation and the type of disability your child has. • Are you planning for your child's future and how? • Does your child currently live with you and is that your/your child's preference? If they live elsewhere, what type of living situation are they in? • Do you feel like there are resources available to you to plan for your child's future? • Are you happy with how things are? If not, what would you like to change? • How does having an adult child with a disability affect your daily life financially, emotionally, logistically, etc.? • Also, please tell me where you live and the ages of you, your spouse and your child. You can e-mail responses (or any questions) to Diament at michellediament@.... Thanks! " ---- Yours, Carley Executive Director GRASP The Global and Regional Asperger Syndrome Partnership, Inc. 666 Broadway, Suite 830 New York, NY 10012 646.242.4003 mjcarley@... www.grasp.org>> > > My son will be 18 in April. We've heard it is best to go to a lawyer and > make ourselves his legal guardian. Is that what you parents here did when > your child turned 18? Does this mean they can't vote? Cuz he wants to vote > real bad in November, and he wants to drive one day, we are still teaching > him that. Will he have to give up every thing if we do this? pj > > _____ > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. > <http://us.rd./evt=51734/*http://tools.search./news earch/c > ategory.php?category=shopping> > > > > > Take care, > Betty > _____ > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. > <http://us.rd./evt=51734/*http://tools.search./news earch/c > ategory.php?category=shopping> > > > _____ > > Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try > <http://us.rd./evt=51733/*http://mobile./;_ylt=Ahu0 6i62sR8 > HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ> it now. > > > > > _____ > > Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find > <http://us.rd./evt=51734/*http://tools.search./news earch/c > ategory.php?category=shopping> them fast with Search. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 Trisha, so, I guess this price is right. I called last year. amazing!, everything is so expensive for our kids, from doctors, tutors, right up to a savings account. But, little by little, I will save the money and get it for him. did you do the same for all your children?Trisha Rice <rice.trish@...> wrote: We don't have money either, but my dad bought him savings bonds every year from the time he was born until we figured out he can't have them in his name. We were going to cash them in and open the trust with that, but instead he's gotten a replacement gamecube, and a replacement TV, and who knows what else we will have to replace! I'm assuming that someday we will get to put money in it! I don't remember how much it cost to get it all set up, but it was 5-7 years ago, and it was around $1000 give or take some. Trish -----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of RoseSent: Friday, February 08, 2008 4:45 PM Subject: RE: ( ) Need advice Trisha, thanks for responding, We live in New York. The 3rd party trust plan is the same as your special needs plan. That no one can touch his money. (not that we have any) but I would like to set him up with an account. (birthday money, holiday money etc..) not much would be in there, but at least I know it will be his money...Someone told me their son lives in a group home and they can't touch "that money" in his 3rd party trust fun. its his. is that true?. I had to laugh when the lawyer said $1800.00 to set up an account. And I was going to put $10.00 in it. hahahaha. either way, I have to set one up. RoseTrisha Rice <rice.trishtx (DOT) rr.com> wrote: Oh Rose, you're making me think! We've had it for so long now that I don't remember a lot about it. I do know we used a financial planner to begin with and he referred us to the lawyer that drew up the papers. Unfortunately, the Special Needs Planner died a few years ago, and I don't know who replaced him here in the Dallas Fort Worth Area. In the Houston area there is Rhatigan that does this sort of thing. But I would think that wherever you are, you could search for Special Needs Planners and come up with something, either financial guys or lawyers. I'm not sure what the 3rd party trust is, but I know our paperwork specifically says it's for his needs other than what government assistance can pay for, or something to that effect. It essentially protects any money from the $2000 limit imposed by Medicaid. Medicaid is not going to buy him Papa 's pizza every Friday night, nor will they replace the broken game cube or tv that is as much a requirement as clothing, food, and shelter. I would really search to find one who is experienced in this type of planning, or is being mentored by someone in this type of planning. A couple of commas or words in the wrong place, and they've got you. Tell me again where you live? Trish -----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of RoseSent: Friday, February 08, 2008 4:13 PM Subject: RE: ( ) Need advice Trisha, You mentioned you have a 'special needs trust fund'. is that the same as a 3rd party trust fund? did you need a lawyer for that? if so, how much was he? I called just one attorney for a 3rd party trust fund, and they charge $1800 dollars. Also, not many lawyers do this. How did you find yours?. Thank you for any advice you can share. I'm very interested in getting this started for my son. Rose.Trisha Rice <rice.trishtx (DOT) rr.com> wrote: Hey Patti - I just got home from the post office where we registered my 18 yo ds to vote! Since he is still in school and living with us, we haven't had worried too much yet about power of attorney, b/c right now most of our time and money is spent on the younger ds due process case. But, we are at some point going to get power of attorney for medical and financial, not sure what it's called and how it's worded. We also have a special needs trust set up to protect any money he may come into. And, don't forget about the Selective Service! All males 18-25 must register within 30 days of their 18th birthday. We didn't fill that out because you must use black ink and I only had purple and blue! LOL We brought it home to mail in tomorrow. And the chart of who must register reads, "Handicapped physically or mentally, Able to function in public with or without assistance, YES." "Handicapped physically or mentally, Continually confined to a residence, hospital, or institution, NO." I was really hoping he would not have to, but my husband pointed out he would never be accepted, so what's the harm? It made him feel so much more grown up and confident, so that was worth it! And, as far as $ goes, forget it. I believe he would choose (5) one dollar bills or (1) ten dollar bill. Duh, 5 is more than 1, right? Someday, we will get there! And we can get to the mail before he sees any credit card offers. Trish -----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Patti JourneySent: Friday, February 08, 2008 3:15 PM Subject: Re: ( ) Need advice Thanks Betty for your answer. Our son spends every dime he gets so I know we need to do something to protect him from himself. haha Also what scares me is all the credit cards that would be sent to him. We get them almost every day, I'm sick of them. ugh! Is it good to find a lawyer that specializes in this or does it matter? pj Gee I don't know. We are our son's (he is 39yrs old) legal guardian but he still votes. He could drive but never did. He just does not know how to handle $. Betty Patti Journey <pjpoo78363 (DOT) com> wrote: My son will be 18 in April. We've heard it is best to go to a lawyer and make ourselves his legal guardian. Is that what you parents here did when your child turned 18? Does this mean they can't vote? Cuz he wants to vote real bad in November, and he wants to drive one day, we are still teaching him that. Will he have to give up every thing if we do this? pj Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Take care, Betty Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Never miss a thing. Make your homepage. Never miss a thing. Make your homepage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 Trish, I don't know much about bonds, my son does have some from an uncle, but they are not matured yet, can you still do something with them if they are not? And do you know how to take them out of someone's name? It has one of our names as secondary.pj We don't have money either, but my dad bought him savings bonds every year from the time he was born until we figured out he can't have them in his name. We were going to cash them in and open the trust with that, but instead he's gotten a replacement gamecube, and a replacement TV, and who knows what else we will have to replace! I'm assuming that someday we will get to put money in it! I don't remember how much it cost to get it all set up, but it was 5-7 years ago, and it was around $1000 give or take some. Trish Re: ( ) Need advice Thanks Betty for your answer. Our son spends every dime he gets so I know we need to do something to protect him from himself. haha Also what scares me is all the credit cards that would be sent to him. We get them almost every day, I'm sick of them. ugh! Is it good to find a lawyer that specializes in this or does it matter? pj Gee I don't know. We are our son's (he is 39yrs old) legal guardian but he still votes. He could drive but never did. He just does not know how to handle $. Betty Patti Journey <pjpoo78363 (DOT) com> wrote: My son will be 18 in April. We've heard it is best to go to a lawyer and make ourselves his legal guardian. Is that what you parents here did when your child turned 18? Does this mean they can't vote? Cuz he wants to vote real bad in November, and he wants to drive one day, we are still teaching him that. Will he have to give up every thing if we do this? pj Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Take care, Betty Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Never miss a thing. Make your homepage. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 Well, no. We know our middle son will be able to take care of himself (well, there's no reason he shouldn't be able to anyway!), but our third one is still wait and see. He has the mental capacity to understand everything, but we are going to need to curb that impulsive behavior of his! So...for right now, we haven't. Plus, our middle son has always said he would grow up and have a house big enough for his brother to have his own space there, and make sure there was a Papa 's around too! Of course, he's planning to finance that by being in the NBA or MLB - LOL! Trish .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 About Savings Bonds - you are taxed on the interest until you cash them in. You can check the value of them at the bank by using the serial numbers on them. I don't remember what it is, but there is a minimum time you have to hold them before you can cash them in. They aren't high yield, but they are almost no risk investments. Trish .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 Hey Trish...Don't mean to butt in but how come you couldn't have the bonds in his name? My daughter gets them but I think they have my husband's name on them AND her name? (They are gifts from his side of the family.) Jen :)On Feb 8, 2008 5:53 PM, Trisha Rice <rice.trish@...> wrote: We don't have money either, but my dad bought him savings bonds every year from the time he was born until we figured out he can't have them in his name. We were going to cash them in and open the trust with that, but instead he's gotten a replacement gamecube, and a replacement TV, and who knows what else we will have to replace! I'm assuming that someday we will get to put money in it! I don't remember how much it cost to get it all set up, but it was 5-7 years ago, and it was around $1000 give or take some. Trish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 No problem! They are in his name with a POD (pay on death) to either me or dh. Since they are primarily in his name and not liquid assets that can be put into the special needs trust, we had to cash in enough of them so that the value of all his assets was less than $2,000 in order to get medicaid. He's 18 now. Like I said, my dad has been buying them for his birthday and Christmas for the past 18 years - he started out buying larger bonds, but when we had 2 more kids, he started buying $100 bonds. We had to cash in about 500-600 dollars worth. Does that make sense? Trish -----Original Message-----From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Whitewave LotusSent: Friday, February 08, 2008 8:19 PM Subject: Re: ( ) Need advice Hey Trish...Don't mean to butt in but how come you couldn't have the bonds in his name? My daughter gets them but I think they have my husband's name on them AND her name? (They are gifts from his side of the family.)Jen On Feb 8, 2008 5:53 PM, Trisha Rice <rice.trishtx (DOT) rr.com> wrote: We don't have money either, but my dad bought him savings bonds every year from the time he was born until we figured out he can't have them in his name. We were going to cash them in and open the trust with that, but instead he's gotten a replacement gamecube, and a replacement TV, and who knows what else we will have to replace! I'm assuming that someday we will get to put money in it! I don't remember how much it cost to get it all set up, but it was 5-7 years ago, and it was around $1000 give or take some. Trish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2008 Report Share Posted February 9, 2008 My son's bonds don't mature for thirty years, I just hope we don't die before they mature or we don't forget to cash them in when they mature. No problem! They are in his name with a POD (pay on death) to either me or dh. Since they are primarily in his name and not liquid assets that can be put into the special needs trust, we had to cash in enough of them so that the value of all his assets was less than $2,000 in order to get medicaid. He's 18 now. Like I said, my dad has been buying them for his birthday and Christmas for the past 18 years - he started out buying larger bonds, but when we had 2 more kids, he started buying $100 bonds. We had to cash in about 500-600 dollars worth. Does that make sense? Trish Re: ( ) Need advice Hey Trish...Don't mean to butt in but how come you couldn't have the bonds in his name? My daughter gets them but I think they have my husband's name on them AND her name? (They are gifts from his side of the family.)Jen On Feb 8, 2008 5:53 PM, Trisha Rice <rice.trishtx (DOT) rr.com> wrote: We don't have money either, but my dad bought him savings bonds every year from the time he was born until we figured out he can't have them in his name. We were going to cash them in and open the trust with that, but instead he's gotten a replacement gamecube, and a replacement TV, and who knows what else we will have to replace! I'm assuming that someday we will get to put money in it! I don't remember how much it cost to get it all set up, but it was 5-7 years ago, and it was around $1000 give or take some. Trish Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 10, 2008 Report Share Posted February 10, 2008 Just so you know - I am not a financial person, this is just stuff I learned since my dad died. POD is essentially the beneficiary. Some of the bonds have "or" instead of POD and in that case I believe either one of you can cash them in. You probably can talk to an officer at the bank and explain the situation. He/She may have a better answer for you. Sorry I'm not much help there! Are you wanting to cash them in soon? Or just wanting info to be prepared and aware? Trish Re: ( ) Need advice Hey Trish...Don't mean to butt in but how come you couldn't have the bonds in his name? My daughter gets them but I think they have my husband's name on them AND her name? (They are gifts from his side of the family.)Jen On Feb 8, 2008 5:53 PM, Trisha Rice <rice.trishtx (DOT) rr.com> wrote: We don't have money either, but my dad bought him savings bonds every year from the time he was born until we figured out he can't have them in his name. We were going to cash them in and open the trust with that, but instead he's gotten a replacement gamecube, and a replacement TV, and who knows what else we will have to replace! I'm assuming that someday we will get to put money in it! I don't remember how much it cost to get it all set up, but it was 5-7 years ago, and it was around $1000 give or take some. Trish Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 Setting up a special needs trust would be your best bet. Special Needs TrustsWho's never won? Biggest Grammy Award surprises of all time on AOL Music. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 Trisha, Just want infor right now. I will speak to the officer at the bank to find out. I also want to find out if getting bonds is best or better to get a CD or something else. Even though I'm on an air tight budget, I want to do something for my kids. even if its just enough for a car when that time comes. maybe a high school graduation party. They are still in elementary school, but time does go so fast. thanks for respondingTrisha Rice <rice.trish@...> wrote: Just so you know - I am not a financial person, this is just stuff I learned since my dad died. POD is essentially the beneficiary. Some of the bonds have "or" instead of POD and in that case I believe either one of you can cash them in. You probably can talk to an officer at the bank and explain the situation. He/She may have a better answer for you. Sorry I'm not much help there! Are you wanting to cash them in soon? Or just wanting info to be prepared and aware? Trish Re: ( ) Need advice Hey Trish...Don't mean to butt in but how come you couldn't have the bonds in his name? My daughter gets them but I think they have my husband's name on them AND her name? (They are gifts from his side of the family.)Jen On Feb 8, 2008 5:53 PM, Trisha Rice <rice.trishtx (DOT) rr.com> wrote: We don't have money either, but my dad bought him savings bonds every year from the time he was born until we figured out he can't have them in his name. We were going to cash them in and open the trust with that, but instead he's gotten a replacement gamecube, and a replacement TV, and who knows what else we will have to replace! I'm assuming that someday we will get to put money in it! I don't remember how much it cost to get it all set up, but it was 5-7 years ago, and it was around $1000 give or take some. Trish Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 thanks for the site !! Roseppanda65@... wrote: Setting up a special needs trust would be your best bet. Special Needs Trusts Who's never won? Biggest Grammy Award surprises of all time on AOL Music. Never miss a thing. Make your homepage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 26, 2008 Report Share Posted February 26, 2008 My opinion is if your insurance covers the band and you think it is still noticeable, I would go for it. If you think you may look backa nd wonder what if I had banded. I would band. Good luck with your decision. I know it must be a hard one. My daughter was high moderate to severe so the decision was easy. Angue need advice Hi,My son has plagiocephaly,we went for scanning 3 times,without helmet he improved from 7.2 mm to 3.9 mm.But with 3.9 mm it is still visible.And now our insurance covers.Wondering what are your suggestions.we are in dilemaThanks,Harita Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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