Re: Hoarding

May 8, 2007

Thank you for the suggestion for the book. I will order it. Since

we are just beginning to delve into this we could use all the

information we can find. Thanks again.

lynn

>

> Hi,

>

> My 18-yr-old daughter hoards too. The worst of it was last

September when she started to hoard her own feces and urine. That

precipitated a hospital stay. It was totally disgusting and turned

the family upside down. The symptom did return after she came home,

but somehow, miraculously, at the moment is not there.

>

> At this point she just " collects " urban trash from the street--

used Dunkin Donuts cups, leaves, coke cans, anything she spys on the

ground or floor at school that she can readily put in her backpack.

Every day I have to go through the backpack and throw away the booty.

The worst lately has been her picking tampon applicators with blood

from other girls out of the garbage in the bathroom at school.

>

> We haven't found a solution to the problem. Apparently, hoarding

is a very hard type of OCD to manage (I didn't say cure).

>

> I recommend you read books and articles by Gail Steketee and Randy

Frost. They are the world's experts on the topic. Dr. Steketee is

doing research at Boston University and Dr. Frost is at

College. You can get a lot of insight into the " mind " that would

cause someone to do the hoarding. It helps me to understand the

problem. People who hoard have certain cognitive deficits, like not

being able to make decisions, getting unduly attached to objects,

needing objects to trigger memories.....

>

> One trick I have used with clothing that she has outgrown is to

tell her we will put it in a plastic bag and put it in the garage.

She can keep only clothing in her drawers that she wears and the rest

goes into " storage. " Then after a period of time has gone by, I just

give the garage-stored bags to Good Will. I don't know if she has

caught onto my ruse yet. But it has controlled the overflowing amount

of clothing she has. I'm wondering if this would work with toys or

other things too.

>

> Good luck! This is a VERY HARD behavior to control. Get on Amazon

and buy this book Buried in Treasures: Help for Compulsive Acquiring,

Saving, and Hoarding by F. Tolin, Randy O. Frost, and Gail

Steketee (Paperback - Jan 11, 2007). Is about $10. Its a self-help

program that will give you a good idea of what ERPs can be done for

this problem.

>

> Imogene

>

> hoarding

>

> Hi. My son is 13 years old and has been diagnosed with ocd

hoarding.

> We have been dealing with his inability to discard anything all

his

> life. For example, sarting at a very young age, he would get very

upset

> if I tried to thow away the shoes he had outgrown. He'd have a new

> pair of shoes, but I would have hide the old ones until he had

> forgotten about them and then throw them away secretly. now, he

has a

> toy room full of toys he's way too old for, but can't part with

any of

> it, not even the toys he got from Burger King.

>

> I've never participated in a group before, so I'm in the process

of

> learning how to navigate. What I'm looking for is what other

parents

> with children that hoard have done. What has worked and what

hasn't?

> I don't know where to start. The psychiatrist I am taking him to

is of

> little help, other than to prescibe some medication. What can I do

to

> help my son?

>

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>

May 8, 2007

Thanks. This will be helpful. May I ask, how old is your son now,

and does he still hoard?

Lynn

> >

> > Hi. My son is 13 years old and has been diagnosed with ocd

hoarding.

> > We have been dealing with his inability to discard anything all

his

> > life. For example, sarting at a very young age, he would get very

upset

> > if I tried to thow away the shoes he had outgrown. He'd have a

new

> > pair of shoes, but I would have hide the old ones until he had

> > forgotten about them and then throw them away secretly. now, he

has a

> > toy room full of toys he's way too old for, but can't part with

any of

> > it, not even the toys he got from Burger King.

> >

> > I've never participated in a group before, so I'm in the process

of

> > learning how to navigate. What I'm looking for is what other

parents

> > with children that hoard have done. What has worked and what

hasn't?

> > I don't know where to start. The psychiatrist I am taking him to

is of

> > little help, other than to prescibe some medication. What can I

do to

> > help my son?

> >

>

May 8, 2007

Thanks. What is Exposure/Response Prevention therapy? When you

mention theapist what kind of theapist should I seek? We are going

to a psychiatrist now, and I'm not impressed.

Lynn

Hi. My son is 13 years old and has been diagnosed with ocd hoarding.

> We have been dealing with his inability to discard anything all

his

> life. For example, sarting at a very young age, he would get very

upset

> if I tried to thow away the shoes he had outgrown. He'd have a

new

> pair of shoes, but I would have hide the old ones until he had

> forgotten about them and then throw them away secretly. now, he

has a

> toy room full of toys he's way too old for, but can't part with

any of

> it, not even the toys he got from Burger King.

>

> I've never participated in a group before, so I'm in the process

of

> learning how to navigate. What I'm looking for is what other

parents

> with children that hoard have done. What has worked and what

hasn't?

> I don't know where to start. The psychiatrist I am taking him to

is of

> little help, other than to prescibe some medication. What can I

do to

> help my son?

>

> ---------------------------------

> Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell?

> Check outnew cars at Autos.

>

> ---------------------------------

> Don't be flakey. Get for Mobile and

> always stay connected to friends.

>

May 8, 2007

Lynn,

ERP therapy gets the kid to face the thing he's

obsessed with, and then prevents him from doing the

ritual he usually does to deal with the anxiety

caused. My son has a fear/obsession with buttons. So

his therapist makes him sit in front of a button with

his finger as close to it as he can get for so many

minutes. He encourages him to touch it. All the while,

he's telling my son how to breathe in order to relax,

and suggests he thinks of ways to " boss back " the OCD

that's telling him he can't touch the button. I'm not

sure he's dealt with preventing the response (in his

case, washing his hands) but the last few times we

went, my son didn't even think to stop in the bathroom

on the way out! Hurrah! We do the same kind of

exercise at home.

I imagine similar therapy for hoarding might be to

have the kid throw away something he doesn't want to

part with, and prevent him from retreiving it.

Tamar Chansky has written books about all this and

she's excellent. You can find her books readily

through Amazon or at your bookstore or maybe library.

Our therapist is a psychologist who is very

experienced in helping people with OCD and anxiety

issues. Some clinical social workers (MSWs) can also

provide therapy. But I'd be sure to ask what approach

they take and make sure they answer with " ERP " . You

may have to probe a little to get them to use the

term.

We found our psychologist by asking friends in the

field and doing a physician search on our insurance

plan web site. They'll usually list their areas of

interest.

We also see a psychiatrist once a week, not only for

medication but also for " talking " therapy. The idea is

to get to the bottom of the problem. From what I've

read, this isn't nearly as well proven as the ERP

therapy, but in my desperation, I decided to attack on

all fronts.

Best of luck,

--- lynnmom56 <lyrolimi@...> wrote:

> Thanks. What is Exposure/Response Prevention

> therapy? When you

> mention theapist what kind of theapist should I

> seek? We are going

> to a psychiatrist now, and I'm not impressed.

>

> Lynn

>

> Hi. My son is 13 years old and has been diagnosed

> with ocd hoarding.

> > We have been dealing with his inability to

> discard anything all

> his

> > life. For example, sarting at a very young age,

> he would get very

> upset

> > if I tried to thow away the shoes he had

> outgrown. He'd have a

> new

> > pair of shoes, but I would have hide the old ones

> until he had

> > forgotten about them and then throw them away

> secretly. now, he

> has a

> > toy room full of toys he's way too old for, but

> can't part with

> any of

> > it, not even the toys he got from Burger King.

> >

> > I've never participated in a group before, so I'm

> in the process

> of

> > learning how to navigate. What I'm looking for

> is what other

> parents

> > with children that hoard have done. What has

> worked and what

> hasn't?

> > I don't know where to start. The psychiatrist I

> am taking him to

> is of

> > little help, other than to prescibe some

> medication. What can I

> do to

> > help my son?

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car "

> smell?

> > Check outnew cars at Autos.

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > Don't be flakey. Get for Mobile and

> > always stay connected to friends.

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

> >

>

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May 8, 2007

He is now 15, and yes he still hoards. Fortunately, it has gotten

somewhat better over time, for instance he doesn't save every little

scrap of paper anymore, but he still can't part with old toys either.

Hoarding is still in his life, but he deals more with intrusive

thought OCD now.

Finding a therapist that knows what they are doing with OCD would be

the best and most important thing to do. They would need to know CBT

(Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention).

You will most likely have to do some interviewing to find someone who

is qualified. You can start with the OC Foundation and look for

therapists in your area.

Reading books on OCD will help you to understand a little more what

you are dealing with. Educating yourself is a must. The names of some

good books are:

What to do When your Child has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder by Aureen

Wagner

Freeing your Child from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder by Tamar Chansky

Talking Back to OCD by March (this is a workbook)

Helping Your Child with OCD (also a workbook)

You can probably get some of these from the library to save yourself

some money. But having the knowledge from them will be a big help to you.

Take Care,

BJ

> > >

> > > Hi. My son is 13 years old and has been diagnosed with ocd

> hoarding.

> > > We have been dealing with his inability to discard anything all

> his

> > > life. For example, sarting at a very young age, he would get very

> upset

> > > if I tried to thow away the shoes he had outgrown. He'd have a

> new

> > > pair of shoes, but I would have hide the old ones until he had

> > > forgotten about them and then throw them away secretly. now, he

> has a

> > > toy room full of toys he's way too old for, but can't part with

> any of

> > > it, not even the toys he got from Burger King.

> > >

> > > I've never participated in a group before, so I'm in the process

> of

> > > learning how to navigate. What I'm looking for is what other

> parents

> > > with children that hoard have done. What has worked and what

> hasn't?

> > > I don't know where to start. The psychiatrist I am taking him to

> is of

> > > little help, other than to prescibe some medication. What can I

> do to

> > > help my son?

> > >

> >

>

May 8, 2007

I've found my husband and son (both hoarders) will get rid of

something if it's going to a good home. We have to give it to someone

they know. It can't just go to Salvation Army or something like that.

I guess it was what it was being saved for if you know someone who

can use it. I suppose I'm reinforcing that they were right to save

it, but at least I can get rid of something.

I've been trying to get my son to agree to photo or scan stuff into

the computer so we can get rid of some of his collection of every

piece of schoolwork he's done, but he's not agreeing to that.

Some people have some sucess with the 1 thing in, 1 thing out rule -

you can't get a new toy unless you get rid of an old one.

I also can hide stuff indefinitely in our place, it's such a mess.

Then I can throw it out and tell them they just can't find it. My

husband got me something 6 feet tall and 2 by 3 feet around for my

birthday, and hid it in our apartment for a few days by covering it

with a blanket.

>

> Hi. My son is 13 years old and has been diagnosed with ocd

hoarding.

> We have been dealing with his inability to discard anything all his

> life. For example, sarting at a very young age, he would get very

upset

> if I tried to thow away the shoes he had outgrown. He'd have a new

> pair of shoes, but I would have hide the old ones until he had

> forgotten about them and then throw them away secretly. now, he

has a

> toy room full of toys he's way too old for, but can't part with any

of

> it, not even the toys he got from Burger King.

>

> I've never participated in a group before, so I'm in the process of

> learning how to navigate. What I'm looking for is what other

parents

> with children that hoard have done. What has worked and what

hasn't?

> I don't know where to start. The psychiatrist I am taking him to

is of

> little help, other than to prescibe some medication. What can I do

to

> help my son?

>

May 8, 2007

Hi Lynn, looks like you've gotten a lot of replies but I'll throw in

my 2 cents.

My OCD son is now age 18. Hoarding was somewhat of a problem when he

was younger. Even some food/candy treats he would sometimes hoard,

not eat but just keep; couldn't throw them away. One Christmas I had

wrapped up a bag of his favorite candy (Hershey kisses) and he knew

what it was. Never opened it but wouldn't let anyone else have it

either. He also had a hard time getting rid of, well, ANYthing.

Still does somewhat.

I bought bins/tubs with tops to put some things in. So he knew we

still had them, they were just " stored. " Sometimes, with all my sons

(3), when they were young I would get rid of things while they were

at school or elsewhere. So far as they knew, things were in the

attic or " somewhere about, can't recall where I last saw it. " I

actually did put some things in the attic so I wouldn't feel like

such a liar about throwing things away, LOL.

Some things with I would start " counting down/warning. " Say,

the kisses for instance or some old toy, I would begin commenting how

it needed to either be eaten or used soon or it would have to be

trashed. Now some things could actually be given to the Salvation

Army or similar. He didn't mind things going there so much, giving

away for someone else to use.

You might want to get some containers, different sizes, and try to

have him go through some things and maybe sort them. Have all the

little items or things he got from Burger King in some smaller

containers, other items use larger ones. Then if you have an attic

or garage space or something, store them there. Let him keep some

things in his room of course. Then maybe every other month he might

be willing to sort thru a container or two and pick some things out

that have to " go. " Plus you can keep secretly getting rid of things

as you have been (I've been the same with shoes and other, wait until

they seem to forget about them.)

He's getting to the age where he may soon be willing to let go of

some of the younger things. We/I kept some things from the younger

years on purpose, even some of the Happy Meal toys; just items they

might like to come across some day.

Well no real help but some quick thoughts! My mom, now age 84, was a

true hoarder of EVERYTHING. We live with her and I'm still trying to

find some time (where???) to eventually go thru some rooms. One of

my sons managed to toss out most in one room but when I caught him

actually getting rid of important stuff or things that needed

shredding (tax forms, bank statements) and he was taking it to

recycling, I had to stop him (he just grabs stuff, doesn't want to

look and think).

Keep us updated. Hoarding is one of the hardest things to work on

but with the teen years coming up and feeling " older " and wanting to

be " cool " or whatever, he may surprise you with letting go of some

things.

single mom, 3 sons

>

> Hi. My son is 13 years old and has been diagnosed with ocd

hoarding.

> We have been dealing with his inability to discard anything all his

> life. For example, sarting at a very young age, he would get very

upset

> if I tried to thow away the shoes he had outgrown. He'd have a new

> pair of shoes, but I would have hide the old ones until he had

> forgotten about them and then throw them away secretly. now, he

May 8, 2007