Re: A Different Kind Of Grandparenting

[Guest guest]

I thought this article was great! My own mother & in-laws seem to be supportive but they still lack knowledge about autism. I do agree that they need to educate themselves at their own pace. The problem is when they do not use the computer so they don't know how the surf the Internet. I guess they could research the old fashioned way by going to the library or calling autism organizations? Any advice on research methods or organizations that have more concise information they could get by mail?Gladys

While this article is somewhat off-topic for this list, it addresses an issue that I believe is common to so many of us. It's very well written and I believe, gives advice and information that is right on the mark!"A grandchild with special needs will change your life — but it’s up to you to determine if it will be a negative change or a positive one," explains Jodi Webb in this helpful and informative article.http://autismbeacon.com/topics/headline/a_different_kind_of_grandparenting

Kosky DeskinFounder & Editor, AutismBeacon.com

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[Guest guest]

What about you printing off materials from the various sites that will translate, then give it to them. Giving them just a bit at a time may not feel overwhelming and easier to digest. They could let it brew and ask you questions. To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent: Tuesday, July 10, 2012 3:21 PM Subject: Re: A Different Kind Of Grandparenting

I thought this article was great! My own mother & in-laws seem to be supportive but they still lack knowledge about autism. I do agree that they need to educate themselves at their own pace. The problem is when they do not use the computer so they don't know how the surf the Internet. I guess they could research the old fashioned way by going to the library or calling autism organizations? Any advice on research methods or organizations that have more concise information they could get by mail?Gladys

While this article is somewhat off-topic for this list, it addresses an issue that I believe is common to so many of us. It's very well written and I believe, gives advice and information that is right on the mark!"A grandchild with special needs will change your life — but it’s up to you to determine if it will be a negative change or a positive one," explains Jodi Webb in this helpful and informative article.http://autismbeacon.com/topics/headline/a_different_kind_of_grandparenting

Kosky DeskinFounder & Editor, AutismBeacon.com

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[Guest guest]

Hi Gladys,You raise an excellent point... so often grandparents are not Internet- or computer-savvy. I guess the saving grace for you is that they are receptive to learning so my best advice to you is to source out some good prices on printer ink!You may want to check out our section under Family Matters that is especially for Grandparents:http://autismbeacon.com/topics/articles/grandparentsYou'll find lots of other great resources there, including a downloadable "Grandparents Guide To Autism" which you can print out for them.Best Wishes,

Kosky DeskinFounder & Editor, AutismBeacon.com

[Guest guest]

This whole subject is very hard for our family right now.  My mother and father (I am adopted), have never been supportive of " syndromes " .  Their philosophy is, " spank them, send them to their room, withhold dinner until they eat what you tell them, Badger them to death until they LEARN what it is you want them to learn, "   I could go on.  My nephew (not blood related) was dx'd a month ago with Mild/Moderate Autism (he's 2.5), and when my mother came to visit them, and was at a party is my brother's In-law's house, she kept telling them all that they were the reason the child was that way, that it was bad parenting/grandparenting, and the he was allowed to get away with anything he wanted (Not true, she is not even around them, she lives in another state and has only seen him once). The night ended with her getting up, and unbeknownst to the rest of the group, walked out the front door, and went home a day early, because of the reaction she got from those around her who support the dx.

I was hoping against hope, that my sweet nephew's dx would open the door and be a catalyst for her to FINALLY come to terms with what I went through as a child, and maybe be able to accept my two Autistic boys, but it didn't work out this way.  Not only has she disowned me (for religious reasons), she has now disowned my oldest brother and his family.  My parents just refuse to accept that what we deal with is not just bad behavior because of brattiness, it's something inside, neurological. 

I was a very hard child to deal with, I gave them a fit everyday.  My mom's recounting is that I always had skin issues, I screamed whenever she'd take me out into crowds, I was too lazy to learn, but when it was a subject I cared about, I'd learn it quickly, I had major issues with lower math, but excelled in algebra.  I ate everything in sight, stole food, hid it in my room, so my mother put me on strict diets to control my weight gain, she would make my portions very small and threaten to beat me with an inch of my life if she caught me trying to get more, so I remember going in the bathroom and eating toilet paper with toothpaste on it because I was always hungry.

The end of the night for my brother at his in-law's house concluded with him having a huge meltdown after a phone call to our father, letting him know that our mother had left a day early.  My father basically blamed syndromes on the government trying to control our kids by making it so that we can't even spank our kids anymore, and that my mother was right in everything she said; after all, she was a mother for over 30 years and my brother was only a parent for 2.  My brother, at the hearing of these words, threw his cellphone across the room, and basically spent 45 minutes melting down in the arms of his attentive father-in-law. 

I just wish that there were ways for some who refuse to acknowledge that not everything is due to brattiness or bad parenting, that there just might be something that can be helped by modern intervention.  My parents are in their late 60's and will never let go of their old fashioned parenting styles; they to this day think that they tried EVERYTHING with me, yet ended up having to boot me out of the house because they could no longer successfully deal with my quirks.

Oh man, this got long winded.  it brings back such horrid memories :/Ashton (Aspergers Mom with 2 Autistic sons)

 

I thought this article was great! My own mother & in-laws seem to be supportive but they still lack knowledge about autism. I do agree that they need to educate themselves at their own pace. The problem is when they do not use the computer so they don't know how the surf the Internet. I guess they could research the old fashioned way by going to the library or calling autism organizations? 

Any advice on research methods or organizations that have more concise information they could get by mail?Gladys

 

While this article is somewhat off-topic for this list, it addresses an issue that I believe is common to so many of us. It's very well written and I believe,  gives advice and information that is right on the mark!

" A grandchild with special needs will change your life — but it’s up to you to determine if it will be a negative change or a positive one, " explains Jodi Webb in this helpful and informative article.

http://autismbeacon.com/topics/headline/a_different_kind_of_grandparenting

Kosky DeskinFounder & Editor, AutismBeacon.com

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