Re: My friend needs some help please.....

[Guest guest]

I know this isn't what you're looking for, but could he become a ward of the state? Where do you live?

Are there any respite programs? They are usually state funded and they provide relief to parents who need to get some time without their special needs children. Couldn't your daughter receive Social Security because she has to stay home with her child? She should look into it.

To: Undisclosed-Recipient@... Sent: Friday, June 22, 2012 5:46 PMSubject: My friend needs some help please.....

Hi everyone,

A very dear friend on one of my lists wrote in to ask for help. I was hoping someone here would have some advice or ideas? I've pasted her email down below.

Thanks so much!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To nobody's surprise my grandson is autistic.....and I'm sure I have mentioned that before. He is low functioning and at age 14 is learning to go to the bathroom but still wears diapers and wets the bed. He "talks"...a high, squeaky voice. When upset he reverts to two words, "Shrek" and "Fiona" and he will shriek.

He wears an ankle alert as if he gets outside he will take off running. My daughter and husband and the other kids live in prison. The doors are locked, keys in pockets all the time. Nobody can just "go to the car" to get something as someone with keys has to unlock the door. He also tries to climb the backyard fence and has succeeded in the past so if he is to go outside they have to have someone with him.

About 2 months ago my daughter had a complete breakdown. I don't think she associates it with the life she lives. I think, in her mind it was the fact she was demoted from a shift manager and her hours cut. However, in the past she has had to work 80 hours a week so her hubby could stay home with the kids as she could not control Dylan (autistic one) and he would almost literally run right over her.

Dylan is a danger to himself. He will NOT keep a seatbelt on and wanders in the car. He has, in the past, tried to open the door while the vehicle was going 60+ mph. She had to get her eldest son to hold the door shut and that resulted in being pulled over by the police....so she then had to have someone bring her husband to them so they could get home, I really don't know what anyone can do....but if anyone has ideas I'd love to hear them. They applied for fencing for the front yard so at least they could go out in the yard. With the economy as it is they have been waiting years. Dylan's summer school has been cut...economy. They live in a house so small I get claustrophobic. There are not even enough beds for everyone anymore and going in the room that Dylan sleeps in is like walking into an ammonia laden pit. I can't breathe in there it smells so strongly....

So...ideas?? Suggestions as to who I might be able to contact for help?? Anything???

My daughter, to get back to why I started this email, is recovering now...but it was SO bad she was hospitalized and on Haldol...then Seroquel and is now down to Lorazepam and Wellbutrin but she will be on them a long time. She needs some help but will not consider a boarding school, if she could find one who would take him. She considers that abandoning the boy although I suggested it be one he could come home for weekends. It would give the other kids some normalcy. Any other ideas though??? Thanks in advance.

[Guest guest]

Wow...if it were me, I wouldn't be able to take it. I would put him in an

institution of sorts (pls don't bash me). I just know I couldn't take it. That

is no kind of life for them or the son! . So very sad....

I am almost afraid to respond...

Sent from my iPhone

>

[Guest guest]



This is not for me, it's for one of my support list friends. They live in Richmond Virginia. I'm not sure what they have out there, but I'll send your email to her. Thanks so much for responding.

I know this isn't what you're looking for, but could he become a ward of the state? Where do you live?

Are there any respite programs? They are usually state funded and they provide relief to parents who need to get some time without their special needs children. Couldn't your daughter receive Social Security because she has to stay home with her child? She should look into it.

To: Undisclosed-Recipient@... Sent: Friday, June 22, 2012 5:46 PMSubject: My friend needs some help please.....

Hi everyone,

A very dear friend on one of my lists wrote in to ask for help. I was hoping someone here would have some advice or ideas? I've pasted her email down below.

Thanks so much!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To nobody's surprise my grandson is autistic.....and I'm sure I have mentioned that before. He is low functioning and at age 14 is learning to go to the bathroom but still wears diapers and wets the bed. He "talks"...a high, squeaky voice. When upset he reverts to two words, "Shrek" and "Fiona" and he will shriek.

He wears an ankle alert as if he gets outside he will take off running. My daughter and husband and the other kids live in prison. The doors are locked, keys in pockets all the time. Nobody can just "go to the car" to get something as someone with keys has to unlock the door. He also tries to climb the backyard fence and has succeeded in the past so if he is to go outside they have to have someone with him.

About 2 months ago my daughter had a complete breakdown. I don't think she associates it with the life she lives. I think, in her mind it was the fact she was demoted from a shift manager and her hours cut. However, in the past she has had to work 80 hours a week so her hubby could stay home with the kids as she could not control Dylan (autistic one) and he would almost literally run right over her.

Dylan is a danger to himself. He will NOT keep a seatbelt on and wanders in the car. He has, in the past, tried to open the door while the vehicle was going 60+ mph. She had to get her eldest son to hold the door shut and that resulted in being pulled over by the police....so she then had to have someone bring her husband to them so they could get home, I really don't know what anyone can do....but if anyone has ideas I'd love to hear them. They applied for fencing for the front yard so at least they could go out in the yard. With the economy as it is they have been waiting years. Dylan's summer school has been cut...economy. They live in a house so small I get claustrophobic. There are not even enough beds for everyone anymore and going in the room that Dylan sleeps in is like walking into an ammonia laden pit. I can't breathe in there it smells so strongly.... So...ideas?? Suggestions as to who I might be able to contact for help?? Anything???

My daughter, to get back to why I started this email, is recovering now...but it was SO bad she was hospitalized and on Haldol...then Seroquel and is now down to Lorazepam and Wellbutrin but she will be on them a long time. She needs some help but will not consider a boarding school, if she could find one who would take him. She considers that abandoning the boy although I suggested it be one he could come home for weekends. It would give the other kids some normalcy. Any other ideas though??? Thanks in advance.

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.5.455 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/5084 - Release Date: 06/21/12 19:00:00

[Guest guest]

Sometimes I wish I were standing next to our group members when they are so troubled just to give them a hug and a prayer.

Eileen

To: autism-aspergers Sent: Friday, June 22, 2012 6:20 PMSubject: Re: My friend needs some help please.....

 This is not for me, it's for one of my support list friends. They live in Richmond Virginia. I'm not sure what they have out there, but I'll send your email to her. Thanks so much for responding.

I know this isn't what you're looking for, but could he become a ward of the state? Where do you live?

Are there any respite programs? They are usually state funded and they provide relief to parents who need to get some time without their special needs children. Couldn't your daughter receive Social Security because she has to stay home with her child? She should look into it.

To: Undisclosed-Recipient@... Sent: Friday, June 22, 2012 5:46 PMSubject: My friend needs some help please.....

Hi everyone,

A very dear friend on one of my lists wrote in to ask for help. I was hoping someone here would have some advice or ideas? I've pasted her email down below.

Thanks so much!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To nobody's surprise my grandson is autistic.....and I'm sure I have mentioned that before. He is low functioning and at age 14 is learning to go to the bathroom but still wears diapers and wets the bed. He "talks"...a high, squeaky voice. When upset he reverts to two words, "Shrek" and "Fiona" and he will shriek.

He wears an ankle alert as if he gets outside he will take off running. My daughter and husband and the other kids live in prison. The doors are locked, keys in pockets all the time. Nobody can just "go to the car" to get something as someone with keys has to unlock the door. He also tries to climb the backyard fence and has succeeded in the past so if he is to go outside they have to have someone with him.

About 2 months ago my daughter had a complete breakdown. I don't think she associates it with the life she lives. I think, in her mind it was the fact she was demoted from a shift manager and her hours cut. However, in the past she has had to work 80 hours a week so her hubby could stay home with the kids as she could not control Dylan (autistic one) and he would almost literally run right over her.

Dylan is a danger to himself. He will NOT keep a seatbelt on and wanders in the car. He has, in the past, tried to open the door while the vehicle was going 60+ mph. She had to get her eldest son to hold the door shut and that resulted in being pulled over by the police....so she then had to have someone bring her husband to them so they could get home, I really don't know what anyone can do....but if anyone has ideas I'd love to hear them. They applied for fencing for the front yard so at least they could go out in the yard. With the economy as it is they have been waiting years. Dylan's summer school has been cut...economy. They live in a house so small I get claustrophobic. There are not even enough beds for everyone anymore and going in the room that Dylan sleeps in is like walking into an ammonia laden pit. I can't breathe in there it smells so strongly....

So...ideas?? Suggestions as to who I might be able to contact for help?? Anything???

My daughter, to get back to why I started this email, is recovering now...but it was SO bad she was hospitalized and on Haldol...then Seroquel and is now down to Lorazepam and Wellbutrin but she will be on them a long time. She needs some help but will not consider a boarding school, if she could find one who would take him. She considers that abandoning the boy although I suggested it be one he could come home for weekends. It would give the other kids some normalcy. Any other ideas though??? Thanks in advance.

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com/ Version: 8.5.455 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/5084 - Release Date: 06/21/12 19:00:00

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

I've sent your emails to my friend and she's thrilled to get so many ideas and responses and so quickly! She does have a few more questions, if you all wouldn't mind reading.

Thank you in advance!

Some of these are very helpful. Can I add some info and you shoot it back with the additional....???

Okay, Dylan does get SSI, but until my daughter stopped working it was based on how many hours a month income for family.

I get Soc. Sec. as parent of a disabled ADULT.....does that apply to kids?? If so, that would be great.

Dad was home to control Dylan and is now the working party until K is released for work again.

She WAS on Haldol and is off it. Seroquel is still in place I believe.. That was for her breakdown where she was hospitalized. She is way down on meds now, to three. Wellbutrin and Lorazepam so the third would be the Seroquel XR if memory serves (and that would be a rarity)

Risperidone is Risperdal and was not in the picture at all for anyone

I'm sure he could become a ward of the state but since they won't even send him to a boarding school for the school week that isn't going to happen until someone gets hurt. At this point he is not physically aggressive He has gone past that, and believe me it terrified me that even my son in law, who I consider an adopted son rather than an in law, was home with him. I was afraid Dylan would defy him and at almost 200 lbs he could do major damage. He is as big as his father and weighs more.

He does take some meds and I need to get the names of them, so I'll text her in a bit to see. One she gives him so he will sleep. He used to walk all over the house at night.

They live in the Richmond, Va area.

He does have an IEP.

Any recommendations for docs would be great but so far they end up waiting months for an appt.

I appreciate any help. It needs to be realistically stated that they live in a house that would be cozy for parents and two kids...cozy...not large...and there are four full time kids and my eldest grandchild visits (lives with Dad, previous relationship) and sleeps in a recliner (not knocking that, comfy, but no bed is available, nor a room for him. This house is tiny and they really need to be out of the area they are in as well....but let's settle for ideas first. Thanks so much Chris.

< in the best interest of the individual advocating 4 animals >

Hi Dee,

I'm pasting the responses I've gotten so far down below. Not sure if some of them will be helpful but I figured I should send them all to you, regardless.

Chris

___________________

They must be part of an educational program where he gets an IEP. The school system must help them. Get him into a group home situation. Your family must have some time for normalized life or they will all go nuts. I know first hand.

___________________

, I am on another autism list as well as this one called Parenting Autism. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/parenting_autism There are a lot of people on there who have solutions for these kinds of things if you can't find anyone here who can help with them. Between everyone on the list they have done and seen everything. There are also one or two people who have become educational advocates on there and others who can tell you what agencies can do what and how to get them to do it. That list has been a lifesaver for me for the last 10+ years. As far as beds and things, join and check Freecycle for those kinds of things if you haven't already. (www.freecycle.org). You would be amazed what you can find there. Georgia

____________________

Hello, Your friend here is not seeing the right practioners. Where do they live? Does Dylan take medication? Have they applied for BDDS services? My son is high functioning takes 3 meds now. I was close to hospitalization from an incident in December. You cannot exist like this. You may not be able to keep him home. Why is hubby home, is he not working? If mother cannot take care of Dylan then she needs help. Haldol is not a good drug to be on. The child is autistic and you have to have support and go right now and apply for BDDS and find a decent

Dr. If you need a referral call Sheila Wolfe, you can look her up online she is in Carmel Indiana. I don't mean to be insulting or rude, I am trying to help, but if child is at home and can't be controlled then there is a problem, supports are not in place. If they are my apologies!! Mabel Ann

P.S. Western State Hospital in VA is good. My Asperger's daughter was there 4 months. Her father let her sit in her room for years, did not apply for SSDI or take her to therapy, let her medicate herself for years and he did nothing and I could do nothing for her because he kept lying to me about how she was. Until she went off and her dad called the police, then she went to the hospital and 4 months later she is doing so much better. I have my 17 year old here for school, and he's had problems but is doing better, on latuda, concerta, & sertraline. resperidone is a bad drug, class action suit out.

_____________________

I know this isn't what you're looking for, but could he become a ward of the state? Are there any respite programs? They are usually state funded and they provide relief to parents who need to get some time without their special needs children. Couldn't the daughter receive Social Security because she has to stay home with her child? She should look into it. E Dillon

________________

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.5.455 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/5087 - Release Date: 06/22/12 18:34:00

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

I've sent your emails to my friend and she's thrilled to get so many ideas and responses and so quickly! She does have a few more questions, if you all wouldn't mind reading.

Thank you in advance!

Some of these are very helpful. Can I add some info and you shoot it back with the additional....??? Okay, Dylan does get SSI, but until my daughter stopped working it was based on how many hours a month income for family. I get Soc. Sec. as parent of a disabled ADULT.....does that apply to kids?? If so, that would be great. Dad was home to control Dylan and is now the working party until K is released for work again. She WAS on Haldol and is off it. Seroquel is still in place I believe.. That was for her breakdown where she was hospitalized. She is way down on meds now, to three. Wellbutrin and Lorazepam so the third would be the Seroquel XR if memory serves (and that would be a rarity) Risperidone is Risperdal and was not in the picture at all for anyone I'm sure he could become a ward of the state but since they won't even send him to a boarding school for the school week that isn't going to happen until someone gets hurt. At this point he is not physically aggressive He has gone past that, and believe me it terrified me that even my son in law, who I consider an adopted son rather than an in law, was home with him. I was afraid Dylan would defy him and at almost 200 lbs he could do major damage. He is as big as his father and weighs more.

He does take some meds and I need to get the names of them, so I'll text her in a bit to see. One she gives him so he will sleep. He used to walk all over the house at night.

They live in the Richmond, Va area.

He does have an IEP.

Any recommendations for docs would be great but so far they end up waiting months for an appt.

I appreciate any help. It needs to be realistically stated that they live in a house that would be cozy for parents and two kids...cozy...not large...and there are four full time kids and my eldest grandchild visits (lives with Dad, previous relationship) and sleeps in a recliner (not knocking that, comfy, but no bed is available, nor a room for him. This house is tiny and they really need to be out of the area they are in as well....but let's settle for ideas first. Thanks so much Chris.

[Guest guest]

Is the child in any type of treatment program/medications?

[Guest guest]

If Dylan is a danger to himself or others, the State of Virginia should step in. No one will pay for boarding school or anything like it. My son started gettin SSI/SSD when he was 18 but I know others on here have younger children who receive SSI. Call the mental health association in Richmond and they should be able to give you some places to contact. They are an excellent source of information. Also, go online to Autism Speaks or any other Autism association. You probably have one in Richmond.

To: Undisclosed-Recipient@... Sent: Friday, June 22, 2012 7:47 PMSubject: Re: My friend needs some help please.....

Hi everyone,

I've sent your emails to my friend and she's thrilled to get so many ideas and responses and so quickly! She does have a few more questions, if you all wouldn't mind reading.

Thank you in advance!

Some of these are very helpful. Can I add some info and you shoot it back with the additional....??? Okay, Dylan does get SSI, but until my daughter stopped working it was based on how many hours a month income for family.

I get Soc. Sec. as parent of a disabled ADULT.....does that apply to kids?? If so, that would be great.

Dad was home to control Dylan and is now the working party until K is released for work again.

She WAS on Haldol and is off it. Seroquel is still in place I believe.. That was for her breakdown where she was hospitalized. She is way down on meds now, to three. Wellbutrin and Lorazepam so the third would be the Seroquel XR if memory serves (and that would be a rarity)

Risperidone is Risperdal and was not in the picture at all for anyone

I'm sure he could become a ward of the state but since they won't even send him to a boarding school for the school week that isn't going to happen until someone gets hurt. At this point he is not physically aggressive He has gone past that, and believe me it terrified me that even my son in law, who I consider an adopted son rather than an in law, was home with him. I was afraid Dylan would defy him and at almost 200 lbs he could do major damage. He is as big as his father and weighs more.

He does take some meds and I need to get the names of them, so I'll text her in a bit to see. One she gives him so he will sleep. He used to walk all over the house at night.

They live in the Richmond, Va area.

He does have an IEP.

Any recommendations for docs would be great but so far they end up waiting months for an appt.

I appreciate any help. It needs to be realistically stated that they live in a house that would be cozy for parents and two kids...cozy...not large...and there are four full time kids and my eldest grandchild visits (lives with Dad, previous relationship) and sleeps in a recliner (not knocking that, comfy, but no bed is available, nor a room for him. This house is tiny and they really need to be out of the area they are in as well....but let's settle for ideas first. Thanks so much Chris.

< in the best interest of the individual advocating 4 animals >

Hi Dee,

I'm pasting the responses I've gotten so far down below. Not sure if some of them will be helpful but I figured I should send them all to you, regardless.

Chris

___________________

They must be part of an educational program where he gets an IEP. The school system must help them. Get him into a group home situation. Your family must have some time for normalized life or they will all go nuts. I know first hand.

___________________

, I am on another autism list as well as this one called Parenting Autism. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/parenting_autism There are a lot of people on there who have solutions for these kinds of things if you can't find anyone here who can help with them. Between everyone on the list they have done and seen everything. There are also one or two people who have become educational advocates on there and others who can tell you what agencies can do what and how to get them to do it. That list has been a lifesaver for me for the last 10+ years. As far as beds and things, join and check Freecycle for those kinds of things if you haven't already. (www.freecycle.org). You would be amazed what you can find there. Georgia

____________________

Hello, Your friend here is not seeing the right practioners. Where do they live? Does Dylan take medication? Have they applied for BDDS services? My son is high functioning takes 3 meds now. I was close to hospitalization from an incident in December. You cannot exist like this. You may not be able to keep him home. Why is hubby home, is he not working? If mother cannot take care of Dylan then she needs help. Haldol is not a good drug to be on. The child is autistic and you have to have support and go right now and apply for BDDS and find a decent

Dr. If you need a referral call Sheila Wolfe, you can look her up online she is in Carmel Indiana. I don't mean to be insulting or rude, I am trying to help, but if child is at home and can't be controlled then there is a problem, supports are not in place. If they are my apologies!! Mabel Ann

P.S. Western State Hospital in VA is good. My Asperger's daughter was there 4 months. Her father let her sit in her room for years, did not apply for SSDI or take her to therapy, let her medicate herself for years and he did nothing and I could do nothing for her because he kept lying to me about how she was. Until she went off and her dad called the police, then she went to the hospital and 4 months later she is doing so much better. I have my 17 year old here for school, and he's had problems but is doing better, on latuda, concerta, & sertraline. resperidone is a bad drug, class action suit out.

_____________________

I know this isn't what you're looking for, but could he become a ward of the state? Are there any respite programs? They are usually state funded and they provide relief to parents who need to get some time without their special needs children. Couldn't the daughter receive Social Security because she has to stay home with her child? She should look into it. E Dillon

________________

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.5.455 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/5087 - Release Date: 06/22/12 18:34:00

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry. I misread some of the info. Dylan does get Social Security. Call SSI and ask them to send you some information on who is covered and who is not. It should also be online. Or, make an appointment with them. Your daughter would need a diagnoses from the doctor but there's no way to know if she will receive it until you get an appointment. Her previous salary will be taken into account.

To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent: Friday, June 22, 2012 8:12 PMSubject: Re: Re: My friend needs some help please.....

If Dylan is a danger to himself or others, the State of Virginia should step in. No one will pay for boarding school or anything like it. My son started gettin SSI/SSD when he was 18 but I know others on here have younger children who receive SSI. Call the mental health association in Richmond and they should be able to give you some places to contact. They are an excellent source of information. Also, go online to Autism Speaks or any other Autism association. You probably have one in Richmond.

To: Undisclosed-Recipient@... Sent: Friday, June 22, 2012 7:47 PMSubject: Re: My friend needs some help please.....

Hi everyone,

I've sent your emails to my friend and she's thrilled to get so many ideas and responses and so quickly! She does have a few more questions, if you all wouldn't mind reading.

Thank you in advance!

Some of these are very helpful. Can I add some info and you shoot it back with the additional....??? Okay, Dylan does get SSI, but until my daughter stopped working it was based on how many hours a month income for family.

I get Soc. Sec. as parent of a disabled ADULT.....does that apply to kids?? If so, that would be great.

Dad was home to control Dylan and is now the working party until K is released for work again.

She WAS on Haldol and is off it. Seroquel is still in place I believe.. That was for her breakdown where she was hospitalized. She is way down on meds now, to three. Wellbutrin and Lorazepam so the third would be the Seroquel XR if memory serves (and that would be a rarity)

Risperidone is Risperdal and was not in the picture at all for anyone

I'm sure he could become a ward of the state but since they won't even send him to a boarding school for the school week that isn't going to happen until someone gets hurt. At this point he is not physically aggressive He has gone past that, and believe me it terrified me that even my son in law, who I consider an adopted son rather than an in law, was home with him. I was afraid Dylan would defy him and at almost 200 lbs he could do major damage. He is as big as his father and weighs more.

He does take some meds and I need to get the names of them, so I'll text her in a bit to see. One she gives him so he will sleep. He used to walk all over the house at night.

They live in the Richmond, Va area.

He does have an IEP.

Any recommendations for docs would be great but so far they end up waiting months for an appt.

I appreciate any help. It needs to be realistically stated that they live in a house that would be cozy for parents and two kids...cozy...not large...and there are four full time kids and my eldest grandchild visits (lives with Dad, previous relationship) and sleeps in a recliner (not knocking that, comfy, but no bed is available, nor a room for him. This house is tiny and they really need to be out of the area they are in as well....but let's settle for ideas first. Thanks so much Chris.

< in the best interest of the individual advocating 4 animals >

Hi Dee,

I'm pasting the responses I've gotten so far down below. Not sure if some of them will be helpful but I figured I should send them all to you, regardless.

Chris

___________________

They must be part of an educational program where he gets an IEP. The school system must help them. Get him into a group home situation. Your family must have some time for normalized life or they will all go nuts. I know first hand.

___________________

, I am on another autism list as well as this one called Parenting Autism. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/parenting_autism There are a lot of people on there who have solutions for these kinds of things if you can't find anyone here who can help with them. Between everyone on the list they have done and seen everything. There are also one or two people who have become educational advocates on there and others who can tell you what agencies can do what and how to get them to do it. That list has been a lifesaver for me for the last 10+ years. As far as beds and things, join and check Freecycle for those kinds of things if you haven't already. (www.freecycle.org). You would be amazed what you can find there. Georgia

____________________

Hello, Your friend here is not seeing the right practioners. Where do they live? Does Dylan take medication? Have they applied for BDDS services? My son is high functioning takes 3 meds now. I was close to hospitalization from an incident in December. You cannot exist like this. You may not be able to keep him home. Why is hubby home, is he not working? If mother cannot take care of Dylan then she needs help. Haldol is not a good drug to be on. The child is autistic and you have to have support and go right now and apply for BDDS and find a decent

Dr. If you need a referral call Sheila Wolfe, you can look her up online she is in Carmel Indiana. I don't mean to be insulting or rude, I am trying to help, but if child is at home and can't be controlled then there is a problem, supports are not in place. If they are my apologies!! Mabel Ann

P.S. Western State Hospital in VA is good. My Asperger's daughter was there 4 months. Her father let her sit in her room for years, did not apply for SSDI or take her to therapy, let her medicate herself for years and he did nothing and I could do nothing for her because he kept lying to me about how she was. Until she went off and her dad called the police, then she went to the hospital and 4 months later she is doing so much better. I have my 17 year old here for school, and he's had problems but is doing better, on latuda, concerta, & sertraline. resperidone is a bad drug, class action suit out.

_____________________

I know this isn't what you're looking for, but could he become a ward of the state? Are there any respite programs? They are usually state funded and they provide relief to parents who need to get some time without their special needs children. Couldn't the daughter receive Social Security because she has to stay home with her child? She should look into it. E Dillon

________________

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.5.455 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/5087 - Release Date: 06/22/12 18:34:00

[Guest guest]



What a wonderful thought. :-)

Sometimes I wish I were standing next to our group members when they are so troubled just to give them a hug and a prayer.

Eileen

[Guest guest]



Thank you!

I'm sorry. I misread some of the info. Dylan does get Social Security. Call SSI and ask them to send you some information on who is covered and who is not. It should also be online. Or, make an appointment with them. Your daughter would need a diagnoses from the doctor but there's no way to know if she will receive it until you get an appointment. Her previous salary will be taken into account.

[Guest guest]

I work for social services in our state- CT.Ask if your state has a waiver medical program- this covers visiting nurses and aids. Get one.If he is on SsI- the Medicare should cover medical diapers- get him in them at night- they send pads as well for the bed.Our state offers supplemental aid to families under income on sad- hed get medical (state) to pick up costs Medicare doesn't. (ssd)The mom isn't well- a child with disabilities- id run an income test of dad- here that scenario if income is low enough- they qualify for cash assistance- mom wouldn't be required to work while she cares for disabled child.Economy isn't good here- our section 8 waiting list is CLOSED- those on are 5 years waiting. See if there is section 8 in a different town- to help move into a larger space/We have info line here- 211Call it if you have it- you can find it in the phone book-Info line is a referral service- you call them- they give you numbers to call to fix your issues- heating assistance, support groups, any thing. Call them- ask.My advice- break those problems into small steps- pick one thing to fix- or you'll Overwhelm everyone.Does he receive OT? His running and unsafe behavior could be due to sensory reaction-That's a lot of people in a small space- my son is HFA- those numbers would set him off- he hears things very loudly- I'd see if he likes headphones to listen to music- sensory reactions are not always instantly- sometimes its noise and commotion build up-Sent from my iPhone



Thank you!

I'm sorry. I misread some of the info. Dylan does get Social Security. Call SSI and ask them to send you some information on who is covered and who is not. It should also be online. Or, make an appointment with them. Your daughter would need a diagnoses from the doctor but there's no way to know if she will receive it until you get an appointment. Her previous salary will be taken into account.

[Guest guest]



Thanks so much Jane. Will send her your email.

I work for social services in our state- CT.

Ask if your state has a waiver medical program- this covers visiting nurses and aids. Get one.

If he is on SsI- the Medicare should cover medical diapers- get him in them at night- they send pads as well for the bed.

Our state offers supplemental aid to families under income on sad- hed get medical (state) to pick up costs Medicare doesn't. (ssd)

The mom isn't well- a child with disabilities- id run an income test of dad- here that scenario if income is low enough- they qualify for cash assistance- mom wouldn't be required to work while she cares for disabled child.

Economy isn't good here- our section 8 waiting list is CLOSED- those on are 5 years waiting. See if there is section 8 in a different town- to help move into a larger space/

We have info line here- 211

Call it if you have it- you can find it in the phone book-

Info line is a referral service- you call them- they give you numbers to call to fix your issues- heating assistance, support groups, any thing. Call them- ask.

My advice- break those problems into small steps- pick one thing to fix- or you'll Overwhelm everyone.

Does he receive OT? His running and unsafe behavior could be due to sensory reaction-

That's a lot of people in a small space- my son is HFA- those numbers would set him off- he hears things very loudly- I'd see if he likes headphones to listen to music- sensory reactions are not always instantly- sometimes its noise and commotion build up-

Sent from my iPhone

[Guest guest]

You know what didn't show upHere? I also said Medicare pays for diapers and pads - get them for night time- it will reduce the urine smellSent from my iPhone



Thanks so much Jane. Will send her your email.

I work for social services in our state- CT.

Ask if your state has a waiver medical program- this covers visiting nurses and aids. Get one.

If he is on SsI- the Medicare should cover medical diapers- get him in them at night- they send pads as well for the bed.

Our state offers supplemental aid to families under income on sad- hed get medical (state) to pick up costs Medicare doesn't. (ssd)

The mom isn't well- a child with disabilities- id run an income test of dad- here that scenario if income is low enough- they qualify for cash assistance- mom wouldn't be required to work while she cares for disabled child.

Economy isn't good here- our section 8 waiting list is CLOSED- those on are 5 years waiting. See if there is section 8 in a different town- to help move into a larger space/

We have info line here- 211

Call it if you have it- you can find it in the phone book-

Info line is a referral service- you call them- they give you numbers to call to fix your issues- heating assistance, support groups, any thing. Call them- ask.

My advice- break those problems into small steps- pick one thing to fix- or you'll Overwhelm everyone.

Does he receive OT? His running and unsafe behavior could be due to sensory reaction-

That's a lot of people in a small space- my son is HFA- those numbers would set him off- he hears things very loudly- I'd see if he likes headphones to listen to music- sensory reactions are not always instantly- sometimes its noise and commotion build up-

Sent from my iPhone

[Guest guest]

I'm in Virginia too!!! She needs respite care ASAP. It's very easy to sign up

for. I'd start with contact: http://www.momsinmotion.net/

Moms In Motion, LLC. | Ph: | Main Fax: | Email:

Keri@...

They will walk her through the entire process (it may be a different contact for

Richmond). She can have care for up to 25 hours per week for her autistic son

only.

My brother in law also cares for severely autistic children at Grafton. It's

very well known in the area.

Good luck!

Kristy in VA

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> A very dear friend on one of my lists wrote in to ask for help. I was hoping

someone here would have some advice or ideas? I've pasted her email down below.

>

> Thanks so much!!

>

>

>

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>

> To nobody's surprise my grandson is autistic.....and I'm sure I have mentioned

that before. He is low functioning and at age 14 is learning to go to the

bathroom but still wears diapers and wets the bed. He " talks " ...a high, squeaky

voice. When upset he reverts to two words, " Shrek " and " Fiona " and he will

shriek.

>

> He wears an ankle alert as if he gets outside he will take off running. My

daughter and husband and the other kids live in prison. The doors are locked,

keys in pockets all the time. Nobody can just " go to the car " to get something

as someone with keys has to unlock the door. He also tries to climb the backyard

fence and has succeeded in the past so if he is to go outside they have to have

someone with him.

> About 2 months ago my daughter had a complete breakdown. I don't think she

associates it with the life she lives. I think, in her mind it was the fact she

was demoted from a shift manager and her hours cut. However, in the past she has

had to work 80 hours a week so her hubby could stay home with the kids as she

could not control Dylan (autistic one) and he would almost literally run right

over her.

>

> Dylan is a danger to himself. He will NOT keep a seatbelt on and wanders in

the car. He has, in the past, tried to open the door while the vehicle was going

60+ mph. She had to get her eldest son to hold the door shut and that resulted

in being pulled over by the police....so she then had to have someone bring her

husband to them so they could get home, I really don't know what anyone can

do....but if anyone has ideas I'd love to hear them. They applied for fencing

for the front yard so at least they could go out in the yard. With the economy

as it is they have been waiting years. Dylan's summer school has been

cut...economy. They live in a house so small I get claustrophobic. There are not

even enough beds for everyone anymore and going in the room that Dylan sleeps in

is like walking into an ammonia laden pit. I can't breathe in there it smells so

strongly.... So...ideas?? Suggestions as to who I might be able to contact for

help?? Anything???

>

> My daughter, to get back to why I started this email, is recovering now...but

it was SO bad she was hospitalized and on Haldol...then Seroquel and is now down

to Lorazepam and Wellbutrin but she will be on them a long time. She needs some

help but will not consider a boarding school, if she could find one who would

take him. She considers that abandoning the boy although I suggested it be one

he could come home for weekends. It would give the other kids some normalcy. Any

other ideas though??? Thanks in advance.

>

[Guest guest]

Does your daughter recieve any help from community support programs? It does not always seem welcoming to have outside agencies come in and teach you how to "raise your child" but it can be very helpful. Also there are alot of different types of homes for challenged children. I worked in one of theese homes bfore I had a child with Autism. It is very challenging but with being taught the right skills to help you and your child cope and being tought different stategies to help lessen the events that are challenging and will improve the quality of life with the whole family without placing the child outside of the home.

[Guest guest]

I believe that if she really wants to put

the child in an institution, she can have the State of Virginia take over his care. It doesn’t

sound like respite is going to help that much. If he is a danger to

himself or others, he can be placed in a group home but there are long waiting

lists in most states. I do agree with starting with anyone who can

talk with her and offer any type of aid. I wish the best for her and her

family.

Eileen

From: autism-aspergers [mailto:autism-aspergers ] On Behalf Of kristy4444

Sent: Sunday, June 24, 2012 8:57

PM

To: autism-aspergers

Subject: Re: My

friend needs some help please.....

I'm in Virginia

too!!! She needs respite care ASAP. It's very easy to sign up for. I'd start

with contact: http://www.momsinmotion.net/

Moms In Motion, LLC. | Ph: | Main Fax: | Email: Keri@...

They will walk her through the entire process (it may be a different contact

for Richmond).

She can have care for up to 25 hours per week for her autistic son only.

My brother in law also cares for severely autistic children at Grafton. It's

very well known in the area.

Good luck!

Kristy in VA

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> A very dear friend on one of my lists wrote in to ask for help. I was

hoping someone here would have some advice or ideas? I've pasted her email down

below.

>

> Thanks so much!!

>

>

>

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>

> To nobody's surprise my grandson is autistic.....and I'm sure I have

mentioned that before. He is low functioning and at age 14 is learning to go to

the bathroom but still wears diapers and wets the bed. He " talks " ...a

high, squeaky voice. When upset he reverts to two words, " Shrek " and

" Fiona " and he will shriek.

>

> He wears an ankle alert as if he gets outside he will take off running. My

daughter and husband and the other kids live in prison. The doors are locked,

keys in pockets all the time. Nobody can just " go to the car " to get

something as someone with keys has to unlock the door. He also tries to climb

the backyard fence and has succeeded in the past so if he is to go outside they

have to have someone with him.

> About 2 months ago my daughter had a complete breakdown. I don't think she

associates it with the life she lives. I think, in her mind it was the fact she

was demoted from a shift manager and her hours cut. However, in the past she

has had to work 80 hours a week so her hubby could stay home with the kids as

she could not control Dylan (autistic one) and he would almost literally run

right over her.

>

> Dylan is a danger to himself. He will NOT keep a seatbelt on and wanders

in the car. He has, in the past, tried to open the door while the vehicle was

going 60+ mph. She had to get her eldest son to hold the door shut and that

resulted in being pulled over by the police....so she then had to have someone

bring her husband to them so they could get home, I really don't know what

anyone can do....but if anyone has ideas I'd love to hear them. They applied

for fencing for the front yard so at least they could go out in the yard. With

the economy as it is they have been waiting years. Dylan's summer school has

been cut...economy. They live in a house so small I get claustrophobic. There

are not even enough beds for everyone anymore and going in the room that Dylan

sleeps in is like walking into an ammonia laden pit. I can't breathe in there

it smells so strongly.... So...ideas?? Suggestions as to who I might be able to

contact for help?? Anything???

>

> My daughter, to get back to why I started this email, is recovering

now...but it was SO bad she was hospitalized and on Haldol...then Seroquel and

is now down to Lorazepam and Wellbutrin but she will be on them a long time.

She needs some help but will not consider a boarding school, if she could find

one who would take him. She considers that abandoning the boy although I

suggested it be one he could come home for weekends. It would give the other

kids some normalcy. Any other ideas though??? Thanks in advance.

>