Self-defeating actions [WAS: What can off gas and what cannot/Re: Plastic Containers]

[Guest guest]

Thank you! Carl.

I've been through this thought process with lyme and company, now the mold. I do

struggle with this and this is what I think today as someone still trying to

sort this out.

Ive been angry at myself, angry at my husband, angry at the government, angry

with my yard, angry with nature, angry with the contractor for this house and

the tile company, angry with ignorance in general, angry with doctors, angry

with life. You can replace angry with many other feelings that come up. Back and

forth over and over.

Anger and fear are emotions that were designed to get your butt in gear, not to

live out of and I can see the effect of living out of it on me and my family.

Not good.

The problem is where to draw the line.. what is right for me which many not what

is right for you and even that I cannot truly know.. I have to make decisions

the best I can and move forward..

I think when you realize that you by chance ignorantly ignored a warning sign

there can be a hypervigilant need to not ever ignore another warning sign and to

get it all right the next time.. you are traumatized... the thought of someone

having to move to 3-4,5 homes has really gotten under my skin.. fear of making a

mistake that will lead to this for us as well.. but there is no way to

completely avoid mold spores.. there will be more mistakes of our own or other..

if I am trying to be completely " uncontaminated " .. so how to make peace with all

this? Where to draw the line of sanity? Can I make mistakes and can others and I

still survive?

Im not sure that we draw illness or bad events though i think we make decisions

at times that can lead or not to certain events. Someone leaves a tick on,

ignores it can get lyme and someone else who does may not. So there is no black

and white reality with this concept. Like you said, Carl... you are ignorant or

you are not either way we can move on past blame, fear and terror.. I have to

for myself and my family. Some people can make decisions given the facts, knwo

the facts and still not get sick. Its jsut that way. My husband has lyme and

obvously the mold exposure and he is fine. He is all for ignoring it all!

It can take so much energy to sort out who is to blame, esp when so many factors

are involved, so many variables.. at some point, at least for me, you make the

decision to live and that means you take everything you have learned (which will

never be " enough " ), incorporate what makes you feel sane and bravely (as we all

are) move forward.

I try to think of an experiment and I am the experimentor (this is after I get

over freaking out which can take some time).. that way I am no longer attached

to the outcome which i really cannot control. If I end up having to move again..

well, I didn the best I could under the circunstances.. I thought is out given

the info I had and learned another lesson. I cannot control it beyond that.

Obviously with the mold, you can never avoid all mold.

If I attracted the mold issue (or my illness in general) I did for my whole

family. Maybe it wasnt me who attracted it.. maybe it was my kids or my husband.

As much as I appreciate the law of attraction at times, I dont appreciate it. It

is true but it is also bs.

What I can focus on is what I attract now, what I bring to my life now. bad

things happen and maybe for a reason or not, maybe so we learn about being human

beings, but its the " now " that creates the now.

That said, I am still petrified in moments, very frightened to " cross

contaminate " though something in my mind tells me this cannot be avoided at some

point.. I am fearful of the " I had to move to 3-4, 5 houses to get well " . If we

take law of attraction and apply, fear of cross contamination will result in it.

As for God punishing.. I dont know if I believe that God punished because I see

people worse off than me, esp children and God cannot be punishing them. I dont

in my mind believe God punishes.. in my heart there may be part of me that

believes I am being punished, but its not productive for me to stay with that

belief.

So really.. I give up. I just want to do the best I can and let it go from

there. I also dont want to waste the rest of my life shaming feelings of anger

toward self or others (which is blame or feeling of its my fault) but I also

dont want to live out of them. or the fear I am feeling right now to do this

perfectly right.

I think it is a valid converstaion.. tha nk you. This is a traumatic event.

Robin

>

> Group,

>

> I'm going to take an non-religious position here, which many of

> you have already done. But I'm going one step further. And my

> rant may offend! So beware.

>

> Most of the extreme harm is caused because we don't know to

> recognize a bad situation and then how to leave it when we do. In

> that sense perhaps we bring it on ourselves. I was guilty of this

> for over 40 years, staying in a bad situation in combination with

> medical issues I was equally unaware of. If we don't know any

> better it's not our fault and I don't think a higher level power is

> deliberately testing us. We are ignorant. Let's accept that fact

> instead of pushing the blame to something outside of us.

>

> But once we know and once we begin paying attention and learn

> and still don't take appropriate action then that is like staying in a

> burning building and protesting we can't afford to leave. Besides,

> where's the doctor or insurance agent or other authority giving us

> permission to leave?

>

> If that situation we deserve what happens. I was guilty of that also

> until I got so sick I lost the house to foreclosure. That was a

> decision forced upon me by others but caused by my own

> stubborness and fear.

>

> What we bring on ourselves is the not paying attention to what is

> happening to US individually, irrespective of what happens to

> others. This is an extremely individual experience. What works

> for one could harm another, and conversely. Which is why it can

> be such a lonely experience.

>

> Not everyone gets ill from mold, bacteria, and the other " filth " in

> water damaged buildings. But it's not healthy for them to stay.

> They just react differently and not as strongly as we do.

>

> I cannot continue to complain if I stay in a water damaged

> building. I should not be advising others if I don't take care of

> myself. I cannot continue to blame someone else if I inspect a

> building which makes me sick. I should not be making

> recommendations to them if I don't follow my own advise.

>

> I can choose to leave. Yes, that's how I make my living but I still

> can choose which jobs I take and which I don't. I don't go with my

> colleagues, for example, to help out at Katrina or Nashville or

> Iowa because I know what it will do to me.

>

> Self determination is powerful and so energizing!

>

> Because this is a very lonely experience I encourage sharing our

> experiences. But the danger is, and this group is at that point, of

> getting so involved in finally finding others who understand that

> we put the sharing ahead of the facts that we need. We start

> trying to meet our needs based on what others need. There are

> some basics in common but most of the details are unique to you

> and only you.

>

> For example, much, but not all, of the recent conversation about

> cross-contamination treats it as if it is magical and the mere

> thought of mold fully contaminates everything around you forever

> and ever and it can never be fixed. Oh god I'm doomed! Cross-

> contaminaton can be extremely difficult but not to the extent

> many are discussing here. If we do reach that extreme point of

> harm, and many in this group have, we are reacting to so many

> different things that it can appear as if we are continuing to be

> reactive to cross-contamination of mold.

>

> As many of you know, the exposures from chemicals, cleaning

> products, and personal care products can be really confusing. If

> you are reacting to them in addition to the mold but only

> addressing the mold the only success you will have is depleting

> your bank account and destroying your family relationships.

>

> I apologize if my soap box rant has offended anyone but I see

> people leading people down the wrong path for the wrong

> reasons.

>

> Each of us must determine for ourselves what is true for ourself

> even if it is not true for anyone else in the entire universe. We

> each much select out of the complex mass of information (mostly

> mis-information) what we can understand and trust so we can

> each make better decisions for ourself.

>

> Then share your experience. Please!

>

> But don't assume that what worked for you will work for others.

> The one exception to that advise is if the exposure doesn't stop

> you cannot get well. If you can't remove the source of exposure

> from you then you must remove yourself from that exposure.

>

> Carl Grimes

> Healthy Habitats LLC

>