Re: Help / Advice??

[Guest guest]

My son has many nights like that.  Last night for example.  he was out in the back yard in his underwear just going in circles and rubbing his hair, so I gave him a melatonin to help him calm down so he could even attempt to try to go to sleep,  He is 7, and it beginning to show more stimming signs as he gets older.  When he is stressed, he does barrage me with " why " questions, he does recite parts from spongebob, or whatever it is that he'd been obsessively watching that day.  Oh and he will talk about things that happened when he was 1 or 2, things I can't believe he remembers.  So, I think it's par for the course for any age with us Aspie/Auties.  I know I drove my mom batty, which is why she handed me to my dad when I was about 4 and said, " I'm done, you raise her. "   I know this happened because my mom spent my life telling me how hard I was to raise and how she gave up very early on trying, even tho she was still married to my dad. 

Ooops tangent!  It's hard to know how to calm us down when we get like that, when our brains are running a mile a minute, and we feel the need to tell everyone whatever it is we are thinking all at once.  Do you use anything to help her calm down at bedtime?  My son is learning to go where it is quiet, which now is out in the yard in his undies lol but at least he is trying to calm himself down before bed now.  For me, when I get like that (I have Aspergers), I take Calms Forte, it helps me slow the thinking down so I can get back to sleep, which is usually what wakes me up, and keeps me from being able to fall back to sleep.

Ashton (Aspie Mom with 2 Autie sons)

 

This has been a hectic week, and it’s only half over. I

hope this makes sense. Here’s the background.

 

It started Saturday. We went to our friend’s house for

dinner.

1)  

We met new people, us adults hit it off

(score)

2)  

Our kids enjoyed meeting the new kids (score)

3)  

Later another one of our friends, friend

showed up with her mean and badass little kid. (that’s putting it mildly)

(sucks)

 

Sunday her “seat” at the Sunday lunch place was taken

but she did well in our backup seat.

 

Monday behavior issues at gymnastics

 

Tuesday play date which we have VERY few of those. It

went fairly well.

 

Anyways, since Saturday night our daughter (four and a half years old) has been

acting out. When she is off her schedule it gets VERY difficult around here.

This is why I am writing….

 

Lately (before Saturday) she has been going through

something we figured maybe just a change or something….. BUT since Saturday it

is a lot more pronounced.  

 

Have any of you had your kids do anything like this….

 

She has been (I don’t know what to call it) reliving or

reenacting the past? For example last night (we often struggle to get her to

settle down for bed)

She stood on her head, then the spinning and the finger

flicking and rocking ect….  asking things

like:

 

Can we go to the beach? (last time we went to what she

is talking about was Aug 2010) stressful vacation for all of us

 

Can we go back to church to take our pictures? (October

2011) it turned out to be stressful

 

Can we go to gymnastics? Earlier this week she was reprimanded

in gymnastics (actually it was a good time to talk to the coach about things

and it turned into a good thing for us adults)

 

Mommy I miss you… I don’t know why she keeps saying

that, I am always here with her 24/7. The only time I was away from her was

twice once thanksgiving 2009 I was in ICU for a week (exhaustion turned into

pneumonia) and when she saw me she was frightened (tubes & wires)

 

Next time February 2010 I was away for four days when I

had my son. I suspect a lot of spanking went on from my MIL I don’t have proof

but my daughter remembers every detail from everything. I believe my daughter.

 

She was firing off probably close to 30 different

things running through her mind like things I mentioned above. Over 90% of the

things she mentioned were stressors for her. This went on for hours…..

 

She was reciting long parts of movies yesterday too. Along

with all of this she has been doing more stimming.

 

She fell asleep close to eleven and woke up at 6:00

this morning frantic to go see the moon and her sunflowers in the garden. I

know she didn’t sleep well since we had loud storms…

 

Is this par for the course and the age? I wish there

was a book called what to expect as your Asperger’s kid grows….

 

Any suggestions? We see her doctor in the middle of August. 

[Guest guest]

Our daughter would go into anxiety spirals until we put her on anti-anxiety meds. We had a bit of trial and error but now she's doing really well. The Doctor basically explained it like this... Her brain is like a car going 100 miles an hour, and when you are going that fast it's all you can do to keep the car on the road, let alone watch for pedestrians or stop signs. The best thing about the meds... a very big decrease in questions. I still have to give her a schedule for unusual days like a weddings, first day of school etc. but otherwise it's heaven : ) My son has many nights like that.  Last night for example.  he was out in the back yard in his underwear just going in circles and rubbing his hair, so I gave him a melatonin to help him calm down so he could even attempt to try to go to sleep,  He is 7, and it beginning to show more stimming signs as he gets older.  When he is stressed, he does barrage me with " why " questions, he does recite parts from spongebob, or whatever it is that he'd been obsessively watching that day.  Oh and he will talk about things that happened when he was 1 or 2, things I can't believe he remembers.  So, I think it's par for the course for any age with us Aspie/Auties.  I know I drove my mom batty, which is why she handed me to my dad when I was about 4 and said, " I'm done, you raise her. "   I know this happened because my mom spent my life telling me how hard I was to raise and how she gave up very early on trying, even tho she was still married to my dad.  Ooops tangent!  It's hard to know how to calm us down when we get like that, when our brains are running a mile a minute, and we feel the need to tell everyone whatever it is we are thinking all at once.  Do you use anything to help her calm down at bedtime?  My son is learning to go where it is quiet, which now is out in the yard in his undies lol but at least he is trying to calm himself down before bed now.  For me, when I get like that (I have Aspergers), I take Calms Forte, it helps me slow the thinking down so I can get back to sleep, which is usually what wakes me up, and keeps me from being able to fall back to sleep. Ashton (Aspie Mom with 2 Autie sons)   This has been a hectic week, and it’s only half over. I hope this makes sense. Here’s the background.   It started Saturday. We went to our friend’s house for dinner. 1)    We met new people, us adults hit it off (score) 2)    Our kids enjoyed meeting the new kids (score) 3)    Later another one of our friends, friend showed up with her mean and badass little kid. (that’s putting it mildly) (sucks)   Sunday her “seat†at the Sunday lunch place was taken but she did well in our backup seat.   Monday behavior issues at gymnastics   Tuesday play date which we have VERY few of those. It went fairly well.   Anyways, since Saturday night our daughter (four and a half years old) has been acting out. When she is off her schedule it gets VERY difficult around here. This is why I am writing….   Lately (before Saturday) she has been going through something we figured maybe just a change or something….. BUT since Saturday it is a lot more pronounced.     Have any of you had your kids do anything like this….   She has been (I don’t know what to call it) reliving or reenacting the past? For example last night (we often struggle to get her to settle down for bed) She stood on her head, then the spinning and the finger flicking and rocking ect….  asking things like:   Can we go to the beach? (last time we went to what she is talking about was Aug 2010) stressful vacation for all of us   Can we go back to church to take our pictures? (October 2011) it turned out to be stressful   Can we go to gymnastics? Earlier this week she was reprimanded in gymnastics (actually it was a good time to talk to the coach about things and it turned into a good thing for us adults)   Mommy I miss you… I don’t know why she keeps saying that, I am always here with her 24/7. The only time I was away from her was twice once thanksgiving 2009 I was in ICU for a week (exhaustion turned into pneumonia) and when she saw me she was frightened (tubes & wires)   Next time February 2010 I was away for four days when I had my son. I suspect a lot of spanking went on from my MIL I don’t have proof but my daughter remembers every detail from everything. I believe my daughter.   She was firing off probably close to 30 different things running through her mind like things I mentioned above. Over 90% of the things she mentioned were stressors for her. This went on for hours…..   She was reciting long parts of movies yesterday too. Along with all of this she has been doing more stimming.   She fell asleep close to eleven and woke up at 6:00 this morning frantic to go see the moon and her sunflowers in the garden. I know she didn’t sleep well since we had loud storms…   Is this par for the course and the age? I wish there was a book called what to expect as your Asperger’s kid grows….   Any suggestions? We see her doctor in the middle of August. 

[Guest guest]

When my daughter goes thru stuff like this, I go into huge sensory stuff...weighted blankets, etc. I've found she brings stuff up from the past when she "feels" emotionally like she did then. I.e. beach vacation stressful. My girl can do well thru the "new" situation, but behaviors come out as the week goes on, I try to make her world small...ie we moved this weekend, after 4 yrs in the same place....I made a fort for her under the dining room table today...she's been under there ALL day..but she's finally calmed. Lol, call me crazy, it works often. Take care, DebiSent from my iPhone This has been a hectic week, and it’s only half over. Ihope this makes sense. Here’s the background. It started Saturday. We went to our friend’s house fordinner. 1) We met new people, us adults hit it off(score)2) Our kids enjoyed meeting the new kids (score)3) Later another one of our friends, friendshowed up with her mean and badass little kid. (that’s putting it mildly)(sucks) Sunday her “seat†at the Sunday lunch place was takenbut she did well in our backup seat. Monday behavior issues at gymnastics Tuesday play date which we have VERY few of those. Itwent fairly well. Anyways, since Saturday night our daughter (four and a half years old) has beenacting out. When she is off her schedule it gets VERY difficult around here.This is why I am writing…. Lately (before Saturday) she has been going throughsomething we figured maybe just a change or something….. BUT since Saturday itis a lot more pronounced. Have any of you had your kids do anything like this…. She has been (I don’t know what to call it) reliving orreenacting the past? For example last night (we often struggle to get her tosettle down for bed)She stood on her head, then the spinning and the fingerflicking and rocking ect…. asking thingslike: Can we go to the beach? (last time we went to what sheis talking about was Aug 2010) stressful vacation for all of us Can we go back to church to take our pictures? (October2011) it turned out to be stressful Can we go to gymnastics? Earlier this week she was reprimandedin gymnastics (actually it was a good time to talk to the coach about thingsand it turned into a good thing for us adults) Mommy I miss you… I don’t know why she keeps sayingthat, I am always here with her 24/7. The only time I was away from her wastwice once thanksgiving 2009 I was in ICU for a week (exhaustion turned intopneumonia) and when she saw me she was frightened (tubes & wires) Next time February 2010 I was away for four days when Ihad my son. I suspect a lot of spanking went on from my MIL I don’t have proofbut my daughter remembers every detail from everything. I believe my daughter. She was firing off probably close to 30 differentthings running through her mind like things I mentioned above. Over 90% of thethings she mentioned were stressors for her. This went on for hours….. She was reciting long parts of movies yesterday too. Alongwith all of this she has been doing more stimming. She fell asleep close to eleven and woke up at 6:00this morning frantic to go see the moon and her sunflowers in the garden. Iknow she didn’t sleep well since we had loud storms… Is this par for the course and the age? I wish therewas a book called what to expect as your Asperger’s kid grows…. Any suggestions? We see her doctor in the middle of August.

[Guest guest]

Thanks Debi, Ashton, and Hamptonroad,

Thanks Ashton

Our daughter is showing more stimming as she gets older too.

You asked if she was on anything. At this time we are choosing not to medicate

her. I do not have a problem with meds or people who choose to medicate. We

just decided our approach would be to try to teach her how to deal with

emotions/situations without the assistance of medication at this time. We have

talked about if she needs it then we would be willing to consider it in the

future. It’s tiring on us (and her) but we think teaching her coping skills at

this time is helping her learn.

Thanks Hamptonroad,

No she hasn’t been tested for PTSD. I am familiar with PTSD

and do not suspect she has PTSD. We have a book we use so she knows what to

expect every 15 minutes. I will look for videos do you have any titles you

suggest?

Thanks ,

As I explained above we are not willing at this time to try

meds. I just get so sad because I can’t stop the rapid fire of pictures that

flash though her thoughts. We do the dark quite room and it slows down until

she just gets so tired she falls asleep. Speaking of weddings we have one this

weekend….. Every day this week we have

had something new and different and I am sure this is why everything is worse/harder.

By the time Saturday rolls around things should be just dandy (sarcasm)! Next week

we will have nothing but it takes her about 4-5 days to get back on track when

we change our schedule for one day I hope we don’t pay because we will have 7

straight days of new things by Saturday.

Thanks Debi,

I did let her sleep in her tent last night. She slept pretty

well for the most part. We don’t have a weighted blanket but I have a very

heavy cotton blanket I folded in half and that helped. I put the tent on my

husband’s side of the bed and I actually think the obnoxious sound of his C-Pap

machine helped drown out other sounds. Now if it would do the same for me

ha-ha! To: "autism-aspergers " <autism-aspergers > Sent: Wednesday, July 18, 2012 6:10 PM Subject: Re: Help / Advice??

When my daughter goes thru stuff like this, I go into huge sensory stuff...weighted blankets, etc. I've found she brings stuff up from the past when she "feels" emotionally like she did then. I.e. beach vacation stressful. My girl can do well thru the "new" situation, but behaviors come out as the week goes on, I try to make her world small...ie we moved this weekend, after 4 yrs in the same place....I made a fort for her under the dining room table today...she's been under there ALL day..but she's finally calmed. Lol, call me crazy, it works often. Take care, DebiSent from my iPhone

This has been a hectic week, and it’s only half over. I

hope this makes sense. Here’s the background. It started Saturday. We went to our friend’s house for

dinner. 1)

We met new people, us adults hit it off

(score) 2)

Our kids enjoyed meeting the new kids (score) 3)

Later another one of our friends, friend

showed up with her mean and badass little kid. (that’s putting it mildly)

(sucks) Sunday her “seat†at the Sunday lunch place was taken

but she did well in our backup seat. Monday behavior issues at gymnastics Tuesday play date which we have VERY few of those. It

went fairly well. Anyways, since Saturday night our daughter (four and a half years old) has been

acting out. When she is off her schedule it gets VERY difficult around here.

This is why I am writing…. Lately (before Saturday) she has been going through

something we figured maybe just a change or something….. BUT since Saturday it

is a lot more pronounced. Have any of you had your kids do anything like this…. She has been (I don’t know what to call it) reliving or

reenacting the past? For example last night (we often struggle to get her to

settle down for bed) She stood on her head, then the spinning and the finger

flicking and rocking ect…. asking things

like: Can we go to the beach? (last time we went to what she

is talking about was Aug 2010) stressful vacation for all of us Can we go back to church to take our pictures? (October

2011) it turned out to be stressful Can we go to gymnastics? Earlier this week she was reprimanded

in gymnastics (actually it was a good time to talk to the coach about things

and it turned into a good thing for us adults) Mommy I miss you… I don’t know why she keeps saying

that, I am always here with her 24/7. The only time I was away from her was

twice once thanksgiving 2009 I was in ICU for a week (exhaustion turned into

pneumonia) and when she saw me she was frightened (tubes & wires) Next time February 2010 I was away for four days when I

had my son. I suspect a lot of spanking went on from my MIL I don’t have proof

but my daughter remembers every detail from everything. I believe my daughter. She was firing off probably close to 30 different

things running through her mind like things I mentioned above. Over 90% of the

things she mentioned were stressors for her. This went on for hours….. She was reciting long parts of movies yesterday too. Along

with all of this she has been doing more stimming. She fell asleep close to eleven and woke up at 6:00

this morning frantic to go see the moon and her sunflowers in the garden. I

know she didn’t sleep well since we had loud storms… Is this par for the course and the age? I wish there

was a book called what to expect as your Asperger’s kid grows…. Any suggestions? We see her doctor in the middle of August.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,  w too are going no medication route except for melatonin on the nights where he tells me point blank he cannot calm down and sleep.  Part of his issue sleeping is everyone in the house MUST be in their rooms either going to sleep or whatever.  That is the only thing we give him on occasion when it's just hard to watch him try to do something that his body won't let him do.

He cannot sleep if anyone stays up and he knows it, total controlling issue I think. I remember as a kid, I did the same thing, and my mom was a night owl, so it made it torture to try to sleep when she was up being loud and not trying to be quiet.

The barrage of questions from him have shown up, especially now that school is out.  I have to tell him that I will answer his questions but not all at once, and he'll come back on and off throughout the day with more questions, but is learning to limit how many he gives me at a time.

Ashton

 

Thanks Debi, Ashton, and Hamptonroad,

 

Thanks Ashton

Our daughter is showing more stimming as she gets older too.

You asked if she was on anything. At this time we are choosing not to medicate

her. I do not have a problem with meds or people who choose to medicate. We

just decided our approach would be to try to teach her how to deal with

emotions/situations without the assistance of medication at this time. We have

talked about if she needs it then we would be willing to consider it in the

future. It’s tiring on us (and her) but we think teaching her coping skills at

this time is helping her learn.

<snipped>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Ashton,

Some nights when she is like that she asks to go in her

room. I am like cool, than my husband and I can have some time. When I go check

on her she will have every toy, book and stuffed animal in her bed with her and

she gets over stimulated. At night we pretty much turn off all the lights

except a couple of small ones. We also keep the sound levels very low. It helps

at times. Sometimes the teenage kids and young adults kids in the neighborhood act stupid in the middle of the night and that disrupts her (and everyone) too! To: autism-aspergers Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2012 9:23 AM Subject: Re: Help /

Advice??

Hi , w too are going no medication route except for melatonin on the nights where he tells me point blank he cannot calm down and sleep. Part of his issue sleeping is everyone in the house MUST be in their rooms either going to sleep or whatever. That is the only thing we give him on occasion when it's just hard to watch him try to do something that his body won't let him do.

He cannot sleep if anyone stays up and he knows it, total controlling issue I think. I remember as a kid, I did the same thing, and my mom was a night owl, so it made it torture to try to sleep when she was up being loud and not trying to be quiet.

The barrage of questions from him have shown up, especially now that school is out. I have to tell him that I will answer his questions but not all at once, and he'll come back on and off throughout the day with more questions, but is learning to limit how many he gives me at a time.

Ashton

Thanks Debi, Ashton, and Hamptonroad,

Thanks Ashton

Our daughter is showing more stimming as she gets older too.

You asked if she was on anything. At this time we are choosing not to medicate

her. I do not have a problem with meds or people who choose to medicate. We

just decided our approach would be to try to teach her how to deal with

emotions/situations without the assistance of medication at this time. We have

talked about if she needs it then we would be willing to consider it in the

future. It’s tiring on us (and her) but we think teaching her coping skills at

this time is helping her learn.

<snipped>