doing the work for the love of truth

[Guest guest]

Last week I found out I was six weeks pregnant. I was ecstatic. A

day later I started to bleed. As the tears began to fall so did the

thoughts...the confusion, the anguish. The miscarriage is confused

with my son who was still-born five years ago. For the first time

ever, I couldn't stand the pain for more than a minute and knew

immediately I had to have the truth instead. So as I reached for a

sanitary pad I reached for a note pad too and started the process,

the questions ringing inside of me as this blood was starting to

flow. " I don't want to miscarry " How do I miscarry myself, this

lovely sweet woman who so wants a living baby, that Truth says Not

Now. " I don't want to bleed " when there I am with all thoughts

bleeding into reality making it more difficult. " I want a baby " when

I am the baby I want, I am the one who needs holding, loving,

cherishing. I don't want the baby if it is the result of thoughts

marrying and miscarrying thoughts producing endless offspring. " I

want the truth " I said as turnaround, and saw how if a miscarriage

was the only way for me to have it...I was willing and I look forward

to miscarrying again. I share this as the most powerful piece of work

I have done so far - I have the story it is because I did it in the

middle of my hell, I didn't wait a minute and found that heaven was

there all the time.

Kathy