Re: Retention for one twin???....

[Guest guest]

Thanks everyone for your input!  I appreciate hearing everyone's experiences.  So, no one has any input on why our kiddos shouldn't be held back?  This one lady who is not a mom of multiples suggested that it might be detrimental to seperate twins by grade and told me to contact my groups.  I still haven't seen any regrets from anyone and only positive feedback for doing it.  All point of views are appreciated!  

Thank you!Sherry

 

rSherry,

 

I have twin girls Casey (DS) and Chloe.  They were in Kindergarten together.  Casey did pretty well her first year but was still very far behind with the rest of the class.  The teacher wanted to move Casey on to First grade with her sister but I said no.  I didn't think it would be fair to Casey to move her to first grade when she could not read and keep up. I just didn't think it would be fair to her.  It turn out to be the best thing I ever did!  After Casey's first year in Kindergarten we got her a reading tutor for the summer and started her on Edmark reading program.  By the time school started in the Fall Casey was reading!  She started her 2nd year of Kindergarten ahead of the class.  She has so much more confidence and actually stood in front of the class to read!  All the kids thought Casey was the smartest kid in the class!  She did very well that year and was able to keep up with her class and was in the top reading group all year.  Her teacher told me I was right to hold her back another year and it was the best thing we could have done for her.  Casey is now in 1st grade and has all A's and is still able to keep up with the rest of her class in reading and math.  She is still pulled out for therapy and for extra math and reading help.  By the way we started using Touch Math with her and Kindergarten and now she is able to do addition and subtraction.  Edmark and Touch Match are both amazing programs!  Our daughter Chloe had a very hard time her first year in Kindergarten with Casey.  Chloe thought everyone liked Casey so much more because she got so much attention and had her own Aid and was pulled out for therapy.  Chloe started having behavior problems to get more attention.  When Casey was held back in Kindergarten for the second year and Chloe moved on to first grade she did so much better.  She felt important in her class and didn't feel the need to  " compete " with Casey for attention.  Both my girls and doing so good in school and I am so happy I listened to my gut and not the teachers.  You will know in your heart what is best for each of your children!  Good Luck!

 

Mom to (17, ADD), Collin (14, ADD), Chloe (8) and Casey (8, DS) 

To: Multiples-DS From: armygiffords@...Date: Thu, 5 Jan 2012 17:03:14 -0500

Subject: Retention for one twin???.... [2 Attachments]

 

[Attachment(s) from The Giffords included below] Happy New Year Everyone!

I need some input for my preparation in deciding if I should have my Sam with Ds repeat Kindergarten.  He is twin to his typical brother Ray and they just turned 6.  They attend our " home " school and are in different typical classrooms.  Ray is doing very well for his age and in some ways ahead of his peers.  Sam is behind in all areas, but doing well adjusting to his full inclusion classroom of 24 kids.  He has a one-on-one aid and gets pulled out for all his therapies.  So far this year we all have been concentrating on acceptable social behavior and he's doing well with that AND he's even making progress with his academics.  His teachers have asked me to consider what I want for him for next year as his IEP meeting will be in March.  They aren't sure the 1st grade classrooms at the school will meet his needs academically and foresee him being pulled out of class for resource/therapies much of the day.  Going into Kindergarten with Sam's delay, I was already prepared having him repeat kindy to give him an extra year for stature, maturity and academics.  I know he'll always be delayed and need his own IEP goals in place, but my gut keeps telling me that if he could have one more year to grow taller, become more expressive with his talking and mature to more of his age level, this will give him the confidence he needs to succeed in an inclusive 1st grade environment.  I have already received much feedback from others for and against retention for our kiddos, but need some input from anyone who has been in this " twin " situation when you leave one behind.  I figured better to do it now when Sam doesn't know grades.?  What were your experiences with repeating those early grades and do you regret any of it.  One person told me that there is no research that supports retention for kids with special needs.????  My guys love being at the same school (and so do I) and don't mind at all being in different classrooms.  I have subbed in the school district and I haven't found any other alternative program that I'm comfortable with to include self-contained classrooms.  The school they are attending has an autistic inclusive program that is usually meant for higher functioning kiddos and only has 1-2 kids in each class/grade.

Thoughts, input & experiences much appreciated!

Sherry, 

Mom to Ray & Sam(Ds), 6

school pics attached!

[Guest guest]

Hi Sherry,

I am in the camp for keeping our twins together in the same grade. Luke (DS)

and Jake are now 9 and in the 4th grade and I have never regretted it. We live

in a small town of about 5000 people, and there are about 75 kids in their

grade. I have never had any illusions that Luke was going to keep up with

grade-level work so for me the issue was more social than academic, if that

makes sense. In the lower grades (K-2) he was in the regular classroom much

more as he was able to participate more fully with the academics. As it has

become more difficult, he receives his academic instruction in a cross-cat room,

has a 1:1 aide (always has), and is with his classmates for all the " specials "

(PE, music, art, lunch, recess, milk break, class parties, etc). These are the

times of day that the kids have much more interaction with one another.

Luke is a tiny little guy and has always been the smallest in their grade. The

boys' classmates are a wonderful group of kids and they love & support him. He

has friends, gets invited to birthday parties (sometimes without Jake!), and

loves being around his classmates. They have all gone to school together since

pre-school and early on I think it definitely helped to have a brother in the

same grade as that helped foster friendships (helpful for us with two boys). If

a child was a friend of Jake's they obviously got to know Luke, and vice versa.

Jake likes having Luke in the same grade and I think he would kind of worry

about him if he didn't see him periodically throughout the day.

Our school never suggested we hold Luke back and for us it really wasn't

something we would consider. Every day I'm thankful that they're together in

school & for us it is definitely right. Good luck with your decision!

--mom to Luke & Jake, age 9

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your input !  Sounds like things are going well....I like hearing all this positive feeback for both sides....of course, making the choice harder! :)Sherry

 

Hi Sherry,

I am in the camp for keeping our twins together in the same grade. Luke (DS) and Jake are now 9 and in the 4th grade and I have never regretted it. We live in a small town of about 5000 people, and there are about 75 kids in their grade. I have never had any illusions that Luke was going to keep up with grade-level work so for me the issue was more social than academic, if that makes sense. In the lower grades (K-2) he was in the regular classroom much more as he was able to participate more fully with the academics. As it has become more difficult, he receives his academic instruction in a cross-cat room, has a 1:1 aide (always has), and is with his classmates for all the " specials " (PE, music, art, lunch, recess, milk break, class parties, etc). These are the times of day that the kids have much more interaction with one another.

Luke is a tiny little guy and has always been the smallest in their grade. The boys' classmates are a wonderful group of kids and they love & support him. He has friends, gets invited to birthday parties (sometimes without Jake!), and loves being around his classmates. They have all gone to school together since pre-school and early on I think it definitely helped to have a brother in the same grade as that helped foster friendships (helpful for us with two boys). If a child was a friend of Jake's they obviously got to know Luke, and vice versa. Jake likes having Luke in the same grade and I think he would kind of worry about him if he didn't see him periodically throughout the day.

Our school never suggested we hold Luke back and for us it really wasn't something we would consider. Every day I'm thankful that they're together in school & for us it is definitely right. Good luck with your decision!

--mom to Luke & Jake, age 9

[Guest guest]

My twins are in different grades and it has been just right for our family. Ours happened a little differently, but with the same result. (non DS) was very ahead academically and started school a year early. They have a November birthday and our school cut off is August 31. He started at a private Kindergarten while was in public preschool. I thought it would be a hard decision, but I've always tried to treat them as individuals, not "the twins" - he was multiplying and reading chapter books at 4, she was learning to count to 10. . .keeping them in the same grade just because they are twins didn't seem to me to serve either of them well. has stayed with her age peers, with a November birthday, being one of the older kids helped in those early years. She is in 6th grade now, her first year of middle school. skipped one more grade after 3rd, and is in 8th. The only part I would change, if I could, is that they have never attended the same school. Our local school, which serves so well (and is legally bound to do so) doesn't have any services for gifted kids (and aren't obligated to), so first attended private school and now attends a public gifted school in the neighboring district.In some ways though, it has helped them each - they don't have to explain why they have a twin who is so different (an unfair comparison in either direction, but kids would ask) and has allowed each of them their own realm where they aren't "a twin" but just a kid, who works hard at school to do their best. They are still VERY close and wonderful with each other. is a little protective, is a little bossy ("I'm the older sister", she tells him) and they miss each other when the other one is away. I don't think their grade separation, or school separation, has impacted their closeness.I would encourage you to look at each child individually for their academic needs. They will always have the twin relationship and bond - in the family, any religious affiliations, outside activities, etc. School (in the same grade or different grades) doesn't have the power to alter that, but school does have the power to affect how a student feels about their own academic abilities, and themselves as a learner.Just my two cents worth!Casey Traver, mom to (DS) and , 12To: Multiples-DS Sent: Monday, January 9, 2012 4:03:31 AMSubject: Re: Retention for one twin???....

Thanks everyone for your input! I appreciate hearing everyone's experiences. So, no one has any input on why our kiddos shouldn't be held back? This one lady who is not a mom of multiples suggested that it might be detrimental to seperate twins by grade and told me to contact my groups. I still haven't seen any regrets from anyone and only positive feedback for doing it. All point of views are appreciated!

Thank you!Sherry

rSherry,

I have twin girls Casey (DS) and Chloe. They were in Kindergarten together. Casey did pretty well her first year but was still very far behind with the rest of the class. The teacher wanted to move Casey on to First grade with her sister but I said no. I didn't think it would be fair to Casey to move her to first grade when she could not read and keep up. I just didn't think it would be fair to her. It turn out to be the best thing I ever did! After Casey's first year in Kindergarten we got her a reading tutor for the summer and started her on Edmark reading program. By the time school started in the Fall Casey was reading! She started her 2nd year of Kindergarten ahead of the class. She has so much more confidence and actually stood in front of the class to read! All the kids thought Casey was the smartest kid in the class! She did very well that year and was able to keep up with her class and was in the top reading group all year. Her teacher told me I was right to hold her back another year and it was the best thing we could have done for her. Casey is now in 1st grade and has all A's and is still able to keep up with the rest of her class in reading and math. She is still pulled out for therapy and for extra math and reading help. By the way we started using Touch Math with her and Kindergarten and now she is able to do addition and subtraction. Edmark and Touch Match are both amazing programs! Our daughter Chloe had a very hard time her first year in Kindergarten with Casey. Chloe thought everyone liked Casey so much more because she got so much attention and had her own Aid and was pulled out for therapy. Chloe started having behavior problems to get more attention. When Casey was held back in Kindergarten for the second year and Chloe moved on to first grade she did so much better. She felt important in her class and didn't feel the need to "compete" with Casey for attention. Both my girls and doing so good in school and I am so happy I listened to my gut and not the teachers. You will know in your heart what is best for each of your children! Good Luck!

Mom to (17, ADD), Collin (14, ADD), Chloe (8) and Casey (8, DS)

To: Multiples-DS From: armygiffords@...Date: Thu, 5 Jan 2012 17:03:14 -0500

Subject: Retention for one twin???.... [2 Attachments]

[Attachment(s) from The Giffords included below] Happy New Year Everyone!

I need some input for my preparation in deciding if I should have my Sam with Ds repeat Kindergarten. He is twin to his typical brother Ray and they just turned 6. They attend our "home" school and are in different typical classrooms. Ray is doing very well for his age and in some ways ahead of his peers. Sam is behind in all areas, but doing well adjusting to his full inclusion classroom of 24 kids. He has a one-on-one aid and gets pulled out for all his therapies. So far this year we all have been concentrating on acceptable social behavior and he's doing well with that AND he's even making progress with his academics. His teachers have asked me to consider what I want for him for next year as his IEP meeting will be in March. They aren't sure the 1st grade classrooms at the school will meet his needs academically and foresee him being pulled out of class for resource/therapies much of the day. Going into Kindergarten with Sam's delay, I was already prepared having him repeat kindy to give him an extra year for stature, maturity and academics. I know he'll always be delayed and need his own IEP goals in place, but my gut keeps telling me that if he could have one more year to grow taller, become more expressive with his talking and mature to more of his age level, this will give him the confidence he needs to succeed in an inclusive 1st grade environment. I have already received much feedback from others for and against retention for our kiddos, but need some input from anyone who has been in this "twin" situation when you leave one behind. I figured better to do it now when Sam doesn't know grades.? What were your experiences with repeating those early grades and do you regret any of it. One person told me that there is no research that supports retention for kids with special needs.???? My guys love being at the same school (and so do I) and don't mind at all being in different classrooms. I have subbed in the school district and I haven't found any other alternative program that I'm comfortable with to include self-contained classrooms. The school they are attending has an autistic inclusive program that is usually meant for higher functioning kiddos and only has 1-2 kids in each class/grade.

Thoughts, input & experiences much appreciated!

Sherry,

Mom to Ray & Sam(Ds), 6

school pics attached!

[Guest guest]

Thanks Casey!Although I appreciate and envy those who have kept their multiples together with success, I feel much like you....if Sam were doing better even closer to what his peers with DS are doing then maybe I would be more comfortable " not " repeating, but he just seems so far behind in many areas...the only one he's doing really well with is gross motor!  He'd rather keep up with his brother/peers physically than academically right now!  If Ray was doing better than his grade, I would not hold him back because Sam wasn't ready.  After being in the same school and in different Kindergarten classes, they have each already developed friends from both classes.  Parents know the other has a twin and most of the time invite the other to parties.  Sam does get a lot of attention from all the kids and so far, Ray doesn't mind, but don't want envy to develop.  One thing I've noticed more recently is that the kids tend to treat Sam like a baby or pet...very good to him, but not in a " Peer " kind of way.  If he has one more year to get bigger and more mature, maybe his friends will treat him more equal and not be in his face so much.  I'm glad the kids accept him and look after him, but I can tell he's not always happy about it.  Guess you can tell which way I'm leaning....it's been hard, but like you said. " treat them as individuals " and get their own needs met.  Things can always be changed, right?

Thank again! Sherry

 

My twins are in different grades and it has been just right for our family.  Ours happened a little differently, but with the same result.  (non DS) was very ahead academically and started school a year early. They have a November birthday and our school cut off is August 31. He started at a private Kindergarten while was in public preschool. I thought it would be a hard decision, but I've always tried to treat them as individuals, not " the twins " - he was multiplying and reading chapter books at 4, she was learning to count to 10. . .keeping them in the same grade just because they are twins didn't seem to me to serve either of them well.

has stayed with her age peers, with a November birthday, being one of the older kids helped in those early years. She is in 6th grade now, her first year of middle school. skipped one more grade after 3rd, and is in 8th. The only part I would change, if I could, is that they have never attended the same school.  Our local school, which serves so well (and is legally bound to do so) doesn't have any services for gifted kids (and aren't obligated to), so first attended private school and now attends a public gifted school in the neighboring district.

In some ways though, it has helped them each - they don't have to explain why they have a twin who is so different (an unfair comparison in either direction, but kids would ask) and has allowed each of them their own realm where they aren't " a twin " but just a kid, who works hard at school to do their best. They are still VERY close and wonderful with each other. is a little protective, is a little bossy ( " I'm the older sister " , she tells him) and they miss each other when the other one is away.  I don't think their grade separation, or school separation, has impacted their closeness.

I would encourage you to look at each child individually for their academic needs. They will always have the twin relationship and bond - in the family, any religious affiliations, outside activities, etc. School (in the same grade or different grades) doesn't have the power to alter that, but school does have the power to affect how a student feels about their own academic abilities, and themselves as a learner.

Just my two cents worth!Casey Traver, mom to (DS) and , 12

To: Multiples-DS Sent: Monday, January 9, 2012 4:03:31 AMSubject: Re: Retention for one twin???....

 

Thanks everyone for your input!  I appreciate hearing everyone's experiences.  So, no one has any input on why our kiddos shouldn't be held back?  This one lady who is not a mom of multiples suggested that it might be detrimental to seperate twins by grade and told me to contact my groups.  I still haven't seen any regrets from anyone and only positive feedback for doing it.  All point of views are appreciated!  

Thank you!Sherry

 

rSherry,

 

I have twin girls Casey (DS) and Chloe.  They were in Kindergarten together.  Casey did pretty well her first year but was still very far behind with the rest of the class.  The teacher wanted to move Casey on to First grade with her sister but I said no.  I didn't think it would be fair to Casey to move her to first grade when she could not read and keep up. I just didn't think it would be fair to her.  It turn out to be the best thing I ever did!  After Casey's first year in Kindergarten we got her a reading tutor for the summer and started her on Edmark reading program.  By the time school started in the Fall Casey was reading!  She started her 2nd year of Kindergarten ahead of the class.  She has so much more confidence and actually stood in front of the class to read!  All the kids thought Casey was the smartest kid in the class!  She did very well that year and was able to keep up with her class and was in the top reading group all year.  Her teacher told me I was right to hold her back another year and it was the best thing we could have done for her.  Casey is now in 1st grade and has all A's and is still able to keep up with the rest of her class in reading and math.  She is still pulled out for therapy and for extra math and reading help.  By the way we started using Touch Math with her and Kindergarten and now she is able to do addition and subtraction.  Edmark and Touch Match are both amazing programs!  Our daughter Chloe had a very hard time her first year in Kindergarten with Casey.  Chloe thought everyone liked Casey so much more because she got so much attention and had her own Aid and was pulled out for therapy.  Chloe started having behavior problems to get more attention.  When Casey was held back in Kindergarten for the second year and Chloe moved on to first grade she did so much better.  She felt important in her class and didn't feel the need to  " compete " with Casey for attention.  Both my girls and doing so good in school and I am so happy I listened to my gut and not the teachers.  You will know in your heart what is best for each of your children!  Good Luck!

 

Mom to (17, ADD), Collin (14, ADD), Chloe (8) and Casey (8, DS) 

To: Multiples-DS From: armygiffords@...Date: Thu, 5 Jan 2012 17:03:14 -0500

Subject: Retention for one twin???.... [2 Attachments]

 

[Attachment(s) from The Giffords included below] Happy New Year Everyone!

I need some input for my preparation in deciding if I should have my Sam with Ds repeat Kindergarten.  He is twin to his typical brother Ray and they just turned 6.  They attend our " home " school and are in different typical classrooms.  Ray is doing very well for his age and in some ways ahead of his peers.  Sam is behind in all areas, but doing well adjusting to his full inclusion classroom of 24 kids.  He has a one-on-one aid and gets pulled out for all his therapies.  So far this year we all have been concentrating on acceptable social behavior and he's doing well with that AND he's even making progress with his academics.  His teachers have asked me to consider what I want for him for next year as his IEP meeting will be in March.  They aren't sure the 1st grade classrooms at the school will meet his needs academically and foresee him being pulled out of class for resource/therapies much of the day.  Going into Kindergarten with Sam's delay, I was already prepared having him repeat kindy to give him an extra year for stature, maturity and academics.  I know he'll always be delayed and need his own IEP goals in place, but my gut keeps telling me that if he could have one more year to grow taller, become more expressive with his talking and mature to more of his age level, this will give him the confidence he needs to succeed in an inclusive 1st grade environment.  I have already received much feedback from others for and against retention for our kiddos, but need some input from anyone who has been in this " twin " situation when you leave one behind.  I figured better to do it now when Sam doesn't know grades.?  What were your experiences with repeating those early grades and do you regret any of it.  One person told me that there is no research that supports retention for kids with special needs.????  My guys love being at the same school (and so do I) and don't mind at all being in different classrooms.  I have subbed in the school district and I haven't found any other alternative program that I'm comfortable with to include self-contained classrooms.  The school they are attending has an autistic inclusive program that is usually meant for higher functioning kiddos and only has 1-2 kids in each class/grade.

Thoughts, input & experiences much appreciated!

Sherry, 

Mom to Ray & Sam(Ds), 6

school pics attached!