Re: Growing up as a family and the future

[Guest guest]

I second that jean!! shawna

In a message dated 1/10/2008 11:15:34 A.M. Central Standard Time,

brendamcdonnell@... writes:

Hi

I think you handled this comment well. My husband and I have also been asked

the same question, and I find it very irritating. I realize that most people

generally don't mean any harm when they say such things, rather they lack

education and experience with our children. Also- these folks are not aware of

the resources that are available today to assist our kids to be the best that

they can be. It reinforces the fact that educating the public (on all

levels) is so important- we've come a long way since the '60s!!!

Best,

Mom to , 4 yrs. old

DS/PDD-NOS

To: _@yahoogrou@_ (mailto:@...) :

_reginasarno@reginasarno@_ (mailto:reginasarno@...) : Thu, 10 Jan

2008 16:20:15 +0000Subject: Growing up as a family and the future

OK, new topic.We were at a bon fire and a sister of my sister in law says to

us, " Can you see in a group home in the future? " Well, all I had to do

to my husband was tap him on the head and a litany of curse words would

probably spew out of his mouth. The look in his eye told me so.I decided to

take

this one and handle this question.I told her that we would make decisions for

as the appropriate time arises. After all we need to make sure that

' older brother and sister are properly grown and leave our nest as

responsible young adults and citizens. ' sister is 18 and ' brother

is

21.They both need to finish college and find a healthy path in life for

themselves. We are still as parents learning how to help them along with

in this

process.So I told this sister of my sister-in-law, as we allow and they

choose to leave the nest we will then investigate opportunities for our son

and his independence as the time arises.I guess I just dislike when people

have narrow thoughts about group homes and preconceived predjudices for

parents of a 15 year old and what we should probably be thinking about for our

disabled son.Any thoughts?By the way, the sister of the sister-in-law is a

social

worker in land and probably knows just enough to say something

stupidaround someone like me. Sarno

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

**************Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape.

http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?NCID=aolcmp00300000002489

[Guest guest]

reginasarno wrote:

>

> OK, new topic.

>

> We were at a bon fire and a sister of my sister in law says to us,

> " Can you see in a group home in the future? "

>

> Well, all I had to do to my husband was tap him on the head and a

> litany of curse words would probably spew out of his mouth. The look

> in his eye told me so.

>

> I decided to take this one and handle this question.

>

> I told her that we would make decisions for as the appropriate

> time arises. After all we need to make sure that ' older

> brother and sister are properly grown and leave our nest as

> responsible young adults and citizens. ' sister is 18 and

> ' brother is 21.

>

> They both need to finish college and find a healthy path in life for

> themselves. We are still as parents learning how to help them along

> with in this process.

>

> So I told this sister of my sister-in-law, as we allow and they

> choose to leave the nest we will then investigate opportunities for

> our son and his independence as the time arises.

>

> I guess I just dislike when people have narrow thoughts about group

> homes and preconceived predjudices for parents of a 15 year old and

> what we should probably be thinking about for our disabled son.

>

> Any thoughts?

>

> By the way, the sister of the sister-in-law is a social worker in

> land and probably knows just enough to say something stupid

> around someone like me.

>

> Sarno

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG Free Edition.

> Version: 7.5.516 / Virus Database: 269.19.0/1216 - Release Date: 1/9/2008

10:16 AM

>

i am 32 and my child is 6. she is my first and i often think about

having another child for my daughter. i worry sick about her future

when my husband and i are gone and i feel like if i have another child

she will have someone to look after her. is this not a good idea? ive

been told there are no guarantees and that your second child may not

even be interested in taking care of their sibling.

[Guest guest]

Hi

I think you handled this comment well. My husband and I have also been asked the

same question, and I find it very irritating. I realize that most people

generally don't mean any harm when they say such things, rather they lack

education and experience with our children. Also- these folks are not aware of

the resources that are available today to assist our kids to be the best that

they can be. It reinforces the fact that educating the public (on all levels) is

so important- we've come a long way since the '60s!!!

Best,

Mom to , 4 yrs. old

DS/PDD-NOS

To: @...: reginasarno@...: Thu, 10 Jan 2008

16:20:15 +0000Subject: Growing up as a family and the future

OK, new topic.We were at a bon fire and a sister of my sister in law says to

us, " Can you see in a group home in the future? " Well, all I had to do to my

husband was tap him on the head and a litany of curse words would probably spew

out of his mouth. The look in his eye told me so.I decided to take this one and

handle this question.I told her that we would make decisions for as the

appropriate time arises. After all we need to make sure that ' older

brother and sister are properly grown and leave our nest as responsible young

adults and citizens. ' sister is 18 and ' brother is 21.They both need

to finish college and find a healthy path in life for themselves. We are still

as parents learning how to help them along with in this process.So I told

this sister of my sister-in-law, as we allow and they choose to leave the nest

we will then investigate opportunities for our son and his independence as

the time arises.I guess I just dislike when people have narrow thoughts about

group homes and preconceived predjudices for parents of a 15 year old and what

we should probably be thinking about for our disabled son.Any thoughts?By the

way, the sister of the sister-in-law is a social worker in land and probably

knows just enough to say something stupidaround someone like me.Sarno

[Guest guest]

Maybe (think good thoughts now) she was trying for an opening to future

thinking.

My son is 22yo. All of his five siblings are out of the nest. We are

retired. Where I to hear this out of the mouth of my in-laaws or their

family, I would answer that a group home is not in the future we are working

for, but a host family, live sharing family is. Do they kow anyone?

Because at my stage (about 20 years I would guess from yours) I am thinking

of where and what my son will be doing. But I know that even with five

siblings, he will not be living with any of them. Those who are married and

have young children have too busy a household for Elie to be comfortable.

Those single and working are never home. Again, not a life style for Elie.

So another family who is 20ish years younger than we are with no children at

home or almost out of the nest kids would be a good place for my boy.

We have to start thinking early, making flexible plans that will change,

because situations, funding options, life changes.

Don't condemn her just yet. Now see if she has some suggestions on how you

could be future planning.

IMHO!!!!

> reginasarno wrote:

> >

> > OK, new topic.

> >

> > We were at a bon fire and a sister of my sister in law says to us,

> > " Can you see in a group home in the future? "

> >

> > Well, all I had to do to my husband was tap him on the head and a

> > litany of curse words would probably spew out of his mouth. The look

> > in his eye told me so.

> >

> > I decided to take this one and handle this question.

> >

> > I told her that we would make decisions for as the appropriate

> > time arises. After all we need to make sure that ' older

> > brother and sister are properly grown and leave our nest as

> > responsible young adults and citizens. ' sister is 18 and

> > ' brother is 21.

> >

> > They both need to finish college and find a healthy path in life for

> > themselves. We are still as parents learning how to help them along

> > with in this process.

> >

> > So I told this sister of my sister-in-law, as we allow and they

> > choose to leave the nest we will then investigate opportunities for

> > our son and his independence as the time arises.

> >

> > I guess I just dislike when people have narrow thoughts about group

> > homes and preconceived predjudices for parents of a 15 year old and

> > what we should probably be thinking about for our disabled son.

> >

> > Any thoughts?

> >

> > By the way, the sister of the sister-in-law is a social worker in

> > land and probably knows just enough to say something stupid

> > around someone like me.

> >

> > Sarno

> >

> >

> > ----------------------------------------------------------

> >

> > No virus found in this incoming message.

> > Checked by AVG Free Edition.

> > Version: 7.5.516 / Virus Database: 269.19.0/1216 - Release Date:

> 1/9/2008 10:16 AM

> >

> i am 32 and my child is 6. she is my first and i often think about

> having another child for my daughter. i worry sick about her future

> when my husband and i are gone and i feel like if i have another child

> she will have someone to look after her. is this not a good idea? ive

> been told there are no guarantees and that your second child may not

> even be interested in taking care of their sibling.

>

>

--

Sara - Life is a journey- we choose the path.

[Guest guest]

Everything we do for our children, special needs or not, is so that one day,

they will become independent, responsible adults. Our kids without special

needs have " extra " responsibilities from their adult peer without siblings with

special needs. I would love some advice or a discussion on HOW anyone has tried

to " foster " this idea that they need to help and include their sibling with

special needs in all that they do, and that they are eventually " responsible "

for their care?

reginasarno wrote: OK, new topic.

We were at a bon fire and a sister of my sister in law says to us,

" Can you see in a group home in the future? "

Well, all I had to do to my husband was tap him on the head and a

litany of curse words would probably spew out of his mouth. The look

in his eye told me so.

I decided to take this one and handle this question.

I told her that we would make decisions for as the appropriate

time arises. After all we need to make sure that ' older

brother and sister are properly grown and leave our nest as

responsible young adults and citizens. ' sister is 18 and

' brother is 21.

They both need to finish college and find a healthy path in life for

themselves. We are still as parents learning how to help them along

with in this process.

So I told this sister of my sister-in-law, as we allow and they

choose to leave the nest we will then investigate opportunities for

our son and his independence as the time arises.

I guess I just dislike when people have narrow thoughts about group

homes and preconceived predjudices for parents of a 15 year old and

what we should probably be thinking about for our disabled son.

Any thoughts?

By the way, the sister of the sister-in-law is a social worker in

land and probably knows just enough to say something stupid

around someone like me.

Sarno

|n

" there is nothing so unequal as

the equal treatment of unequals "

[Guest guest]

In my opinion the sister of the SIL asked a very personal question that was not

her business. Because she is a SW probably felt her entitlement to ask,

nevertheless, her occupation should have been left at her job. I would have

acted the same as your husband felt. I have two older adult children. Both of

them have their own children. My oldest son came with me many times to PPT

meetings. I taught him everything I could to help him advocate for his brother

in the event I could no longer do so. He came away from this experience with a

enlightening perspective of the difficulty parents encounter advocating for

children with intellectual disabilities. He was enraged and had a newfound

respect for me. I am certain that he will continue to assist his brother when I

am unable to do so. I do know that Zeb will not live with him or live with his

sister. Zeb does not care for their lifestyles. I am hopeful that he will be

self sufficient with minimal weekly assistance. Time will

tell.

Charlyne

Mom to Zeb 15 DS/OCD/ASD?

reginasarno wrote: OK, new

topic.

We were at a bon fire and a sister of my sister in law says to us,

" Can you see in a group home in the future? "

Well, all I had to do to my husband was tap him on the head and a

litany of curse words would probably spew out of his mouth. The look

in his eye told me so.

I decided to take this one and handle this question.

I told her that we would make decisions for as the appropriate

time arises. After all we need to make sure that ' older

brother and sister are properly grown and leave our nest as

responsible young adults and citizens. ' sister is 18 and

' brother is 21.

They both need to finish college and find a healthy path in life for

themselves. We are still as parents learning how to help them along

with in this process.

So I told this sister of my sister-in-law, as we allow and they

choose to leave the nest we will then investigate opportunities for

our son and his independence as the time arises.

I guess I just dislike when people have narrow thoughts about group

homes and preconceived predjudices for parents of a 15 year old and

what we should probably be thinking about for our disabled son.

Any thoughts?

By the way, the sister of the sister-in-law is a social worker in

land and probably knows just enough to say something stupid

around someone like me.

Sarno

[Guest guest]

I always say I don't know. I say it's impossible to know now what will be

able to do and what he will want to do when he's older, and we're content to

wait to find out, just like we wait to discover what any of our kids' lives will

look like.

Beth

Growing up as a family and the future

OK, new topic.

We were at a bon fire and a sister of my sister in law says to us,

" Can you see in a group home in the future? "

Well, all I had to do to my husband was tap him on the head and a

litany of curse words would probably spew out of his mouth. The look

in his eye told me so.

I decided to take this one and handle this question.

I told her that we would make decisions for as the appropriate

time arises. After all we need to make sure that ' older

brother and sister are properly grown and leave our nest as

responsible young adults and citizens. ' sister is 18 and

' brother is 21.

They both need to finish college and find a healthy path in life for

themselves. We are still as parents learning how to help them along

with in this process.

So I told this sister of my sister-in-law, as we allow and they

choose to leave the nest we will then investigate opportunities for

our son and his independence as the time arises.

I guess I just dislike when people have narrow thoughts about group

homes and preconceived predjudices for parents of a 15 year old and

what we should probably be thinking about for our disabled son.

Any thoughts?

By the way, the sister of the sister-in-law is a social worker in

land and probably knows just enough to say something stupid

around someone like me.

Sarno