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I am invisible

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Long but worth the read.

****************************

I am invisible.

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one

of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken

to the store. Inside I'm thinking, " Can't you see I'm on the

phone? " Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or

sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no

one can see me at all.

I'm invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie

this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to

ask, " What time is it? " I'm a satellite guide to answer, " What number is the

Disney Channel? " I'm a car to order, " Right around 5:30, please. "

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that

studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had

disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.

She's going ... she's going .... she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend

from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was

going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there,

looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to

compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it

was the only thing I could find that was clean.. My unwashed hair

was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut

butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a

beautifully wrapped package, and said, " I brought you this. "

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why

she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: " With admiration for the

greatness of what you are building when no one sees. "

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover

what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern

my work:

* No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their

names.

* These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see

finished.

* They made great sacrifices and expected no credit..

* The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God

saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral

while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside

of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, " Why are

you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by

the roof? No one will ever see it. "

And the workman replied, " Because God sees. "

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as

if I heard God whispering to me, " I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every

day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've

done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to

notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see

right now what it will become. "

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that

is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness.

It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's

bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, " My mom gets up at 4 in the

morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three

hours and presses all the linens for the table. " That would mean I'd built a

shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come

home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, " You're

gonna love it there. "

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot see if we're doing it

right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at

what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the

sacrifices of invisible women.

author unknown

Pass this on to all those moms out there who you know and love and have had a

part in building something great of their own.

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