Life Changes - Sometimes surprisingly

[Guest guest]

Yesterday I found the log book with which I sent and received messages from

Elie's teacher his first year in his special high school. IT was his 17-18

year. Life had been very difficult from the age of 12 and was still a daily

challenge. The notes I received alternated daays of charm and smiley faces

with removal from a class or activity by the burly behaavior manaagers.

Elie was on a plethora of drugs as we tried to find a way to help himn

control his behavior, anxiety, non-compliance. Thruout that year, his

teacher remained neverfailingly supportive with suggestions of what to do,

how she was managing, antecedents (or not) of his behavior.

Fast forward to now. Elie is 22yo, goes to daily day habilitation program

with work component. Effective with the start of this month, ELie has his

own personal support person who not only takes him to and from work, but

takes him out into the community where he works and where he lives. Sounds

goo, is good and is making his life very full. Then came BLACK THRUSDAY -

work is cancelled because of inclement weather on the mountain where he

works. We down on a lower mountain didn't have any weather problems. Elie

was so sad at not being able to work. HE kept looking out the window to

check that it was sunny and nice. No way did he understand why he couldn't

go to work. Along about 10 AM a phone call came from his buddy who also

wowrks with Elie. He needed to go to the doctor for his physical and since

it was a work canclled day, his mom called and got an appointment to come in

for his physical. Elie was asked if he would like to go with his buddy to

the doctor.. Elie's friend (we will call him Bradly) is 6 ft. 2 " , is

autistic with acute anxiety - especially white coat anxiety. Elie agreed

that he would love to go ride with Bradly. Arriving at the doctor's office,

Elie immediately got out of the car, assisted (remember that Elie is 4 ft. 8

" ) his now moaning friend out of the car. HE took Bradly by the hand, led

him in, talking soothingly all the way (soft mewing sounds, sometimes words)

.. Instead of 4 adults holding Bradly down while a perfunctory physical

occured, Elie helped him take off his clothes (except for his briefs), held

his hand, told him to open his mouth, breath deep, turn his head, etc.

Bradly came home with a smile, instead of needing ativan to sedate him and

bruises from fighting the staff. Elie came in and announced " Bradly got

happy faace " .

For those of my sisters in the war of raising a child with duel dx., the

teen years may be awful - they were for me- but on the other side may be a

time of such general day to day ease and less stress. I still take a book

if we have to go anywhere in case Elie freezes (spent 2 endless hours in

's last month) but he doesn't fight, bite, scream, or stay aawake all

nite long.

--

Sara - Life is a journey- we choose the path.