'Mean

[Guest guest]

Hi Cyndi and everyone,

I, too am a lurker here, but want to add words of encouragement and

congratulations for putting yourself out there. We never know how we

will react to a situation until we are in it. The insensitive posts

are a waste of our precious time and energy, all I have to say

is: " forgive them, Lord, they know not what they do. "

Anyway, I had to smile when I watched Dr. Phil yesterday and heard

saying " mean " . Annie's word is " rude " , meaning I'm being rude,

when I ask her to do horrible, terrible things like; brush her teeth,

put her PJs on, eat her vegetables, stop picking her nose, stop eating

candy etc, etc. The list goes on and on. I sometimes say, no, " I'm not

being rude,honey, I'm MEAN, the big mean Mommy, and I'm proud of it! "

I noticed a few years ago while filling out the Vineland and other

surveys about behavior that they often ask about the kid picking up

toys or putting away clothes. Excuse me? Show me the kid, at any age,

that does any of that! Do they exist? When Annie was around 3, her

speech therapist asked me if she knows where her shoes were kept. I

told her that Annie's Dad doesn't know where I keep her shoes, I don't

expect her to know. Being a married woman herself, she smiled and said

" point taken " (sorry to any guys out there, but really).

But I do understand how some of those people think, because until I

accepted that, yes, Annie does have autistic tendencies on top of

having DS, I blamed myself for not being consistent enough, or patient

enough, or whatever. I blamed myself for all her behavior problems

(funny, though, I never blamed another parent for their special needs

kid's behavior problems). I don't think those people are right, and I

think they have a heck of a lot of nerve to give advice on a subject

they know nothing about, but I guess because I try to put compassion

above all else that I can see, sort of, where they are coming from.

Love thy enemies, you know. As I said earlier, forgive them Lord, they

REALLY don't know. I'm not usually religious, but when people try to

use religion as a whipping tool instead of for enlightenment, it burns

my biscuits!

Also, in case you hadn't read Burke's (he played Corky on the

TV show " Life Goes On " ), I remember an incident that happened to him.

While he was at school, another student tricked him by telling him to

close his eyes, and then shoved some pine needles and cones in his

mouth. As time went on, developed a cough, and his parents were

consistently told that kids w/ DS often have upper respirtory

infections. Basically, get over yourselves. When he started coughing

up blood they were taken seriously, and during surgery it was found

that a pine seed had starting SPROUTING! In his lung! I've never

forgotten that and have it in the back of my mind every time we go to

a doctor. Even doctors don't know everything, even though they often

act like they do.

Good luck to you, Cyndi. I'll be lurking and hoping to hear good

news. Please don't let those negative comments get you down. Funny,

too, how those of us who have similar experiences are more supportive

than those who have not?

Annie's Mom, aka