Re: Dinner

[Guest guest]

: I can't really offer any advice. Tori finally settled down doing

that...however, when she and my husband are finished at the table, she turns the

light off-even if I am still trying to eat.

Liz

Dinner

OK, I am at a loss. Does anyone have any success at keeping their kid at

the table? Logan is 9 with DS-Autism and we have an awful time. We tried

tonight to belt him in, which we used to do when he was younger (at a

regular dining room chair). Suffice to say that backfired. He is still

screaming and we are done with dinner.

In an effort to have a sane meal, we have tried letting him eat early,

letting him sit at the counter (thinking the talking/conversation was too

much) and everything in between. We are also in the process off pulling

back on TV watching and I am sure that is not helping. In any case, when he

is done, Logan literally moves my husband's chair and moves him away from

the table - usually to turn on some TV program. This has to stop.

Please help. Any and all ideas are welcome.

[Guest guest]

Elie eats WAY AFTER the rest of us at dinner. We do not allow TV during

meals - that is an absolute. But we allow him to eat when he is ready -

usually when it is dark out.

On regular schedule days , he does eat with us for breakfast. Again no TV

but we do have NPR radio on softly in the morning.

Can he reach the floor in the chair in which he sits? Would he do better

eating when everyone else is done>? Does he need a lower table,? Elie also

needs his food to be cold - he checks the temperature before eating.

BTW - I think that TV is a big issue. There are very few programs

(Jeopardy, Sesame Street, Price is Right) which Elie watches with some

regularity. But mostly he watches tapes or movies - which are without

commercials, predictable (because he has watched the same ones for years),

free of extraneous noise, fighting, changes in volume.

Elie is 23 - so feeding is still an issue but we find peace is more

important than stress and try to find ways around the behavior rather than

confront behavior head on. Does your son eat with classmates at school?

At your son's age, Elie had to eat out in the hall or in a separate

classroom as the cafeteria in elementary was too stressful.

On Mon, Aug 25, 2008 at 7:42 PM, L. Davenport <

melissad@...> wrote:

> OK, I am at a loss. Does anyone have any success at keeping their kid at

> the table? Logan is 9 with DS-Autism and we have an awful time. We tried

> tonight to belt him in, which we used to do when he was younger (at a

> regular dining room chair). Suffice to say that backfired. He is still

> screaming and we are done with dinner.

>

> In an effort to have a sane meal, we have tried letting him eat early,

> letting him sit at the counter (thinking the talking/conversation was too

> much) and everything in between. We are also in the process off pulling

> back on TV watching and I am sure that is not helping. In any case, when he

> is done, Logan literally moves my husband's chair and moves him away from

> the table - usually to turn on some TV program. This has to stop.

>

> Please help. Any and all ideas are welcome.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

We do not have TV during dinner, either, except for the occasional

football games on Sundays, but then EVERYBODY eats in the family

room. I don't think the seating is an issue, just staying put. He

usually will con someone into TV or music in his room when he leaves

the table, but then comes back for his round two. I think he listens

to the TV from the dining room, too. The really unnerving thing is

him constantly dragging my husband away.

I should also note that my parents live with us. We have tried not

giving his food back when he comes back to the table, but give in

after the glare from my mom. There are SO MANY things wrong with

mealtime.....UGH!

>

> > OK, I am at a loss. Does anyone have any success at keeping

their kid at

> > the table? Logan is 9 with DS-Autism and we have an awful time.

We tried

> > tonight to belt him in, which we used to do when he was younger

(at a

> > regular dining room chair). Suffice to say that backfired. He is

still

> > screaming and we are done with dinner.

> >

> > In an effort to have a sane meal, we have tried letting him eat

early,

> > letting him sit at the counter (thinking the talking/conversation

was too

> > much) and everything in between. We are also in the process off

pulling

> > back on TV watching and I am sure that is not helping. In any

case, when he

> > is done, Logan literally moves my husband's chair and moves him

away from

> > the table - usually to turn on some TV program. This has to stop.

> >

> > Please help. Any and all ideas are welcome.

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Personally, I would just serve him after everyone else. LEt him stay in his

room. Why hassle with your parents and all that conversation and trying to

maintain disciplin with watchful parents -etc. I would be crazed!!!

On Mon, Aug 25, 2008 at 8:45 PM, mld82000 wrote:

> We do not have TV during dinner, either, except for the occasional

> football games on Sundays, but then EVERYBODY eats in the family

> room. I don't think the seating is an issue, just staying put. He

> usually will con someone into TV or music in his room when he leaves

> the table, but then comes back for his round two. I think he listens

> to the TV from the dining room, too. The really unnerving thing is

> him constantly dragging my husband away.

>

> I should also note that my parents live with us. We have tried not

> giving his food back when he comes back to the table, but give in

> after the glare from my mom. There are SO MANY things wrong with

> mealtime.....UGH!

>

>

>

>

> >

> > > OK, I am at a loss. Does anyone have any success at keeping

> their kid at

> > > the table? Logan is 9 with DS-Autism and we have an awful time.

> We tried

> > > tonight to belt him in, which we used to do when he was younger

> (at a

> > > regular dining room chair). Suffice to say that backfired. He is

> still

> > > screaming and we are done with dinner.

> > >

> > > In an effort to have a sane meal, we have tried letting him eat

> early,

> > > letting him sit at the counter (thinking the talking/conversation

> was too

> > > much) and everything in between. We are also in the process off

> pulling

> > > back on TV watching and I am sure that is not helping. In any

> case, when he

> > > is done, Logan literally moves my husband's chair and moves him

> away from

> > > the table - usually to turn on some TV program. This has to stop.

> > >

> > > Please help. Any and all ideas are welcome.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

AND the 5 year old NT daughter who blew a gasket because Logan blew a

gasket and " he gets all of the attention. "

Did I happen to mention it is time for a cocktail?

> > >

> > > > OK, I am at a loss. Does anyone have any success at keeping

> > their kid at

> > > > the table? Logan is 9 with DS-Autism and we have an awful

time.

> > We tried

> > > > tonight to belt him in, which we used to do when he was

younger

> > (at a

> > > > regular dining room chair). Suffice to say that backfired. He

is

> > still

> > > > screaming and we are done with dinner.

> > > >

> > > > In an effort to have a sane meal, we have tried letting him

eat

> > early,

> > > > letting him sit at the counter (thinking the

talking/conversation

> > was too

> > > > much) and everything in between. We are also in the process

off

> > pulling

> > > > back on TV watching and I am sure that is not helping. In any

> > case, when he

> > > > is done, Logan literally moves my husband's chair and moves

him

> > away from

> > > > the table - usually to turn on some TV program. This has to

stop.

> > > >

> > > > Please help. Any and all ideas are welcome.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

is so DONE when done with dinner. We have had a long time getting him to

the table at all. That's working fine now (just patience, really, was the only

strategy), but he still is DONE when he's done, and if he wants something, will

push and knock stuff over to try to get us to get the movie he wants or

whatever. Definitely a work in progress. No ideas here, ; just empathy!

Beth

Dinner

OK, I am at a loss. Does anyone have any success at keeping their kid at

the table? Logan is 9 with DS-Autism and we have an awful time. We tried

tonight to belt him in, which we used to do when he was younger (at a

regular dining room chair). Suffice to say that backfired. He is still

screaming and we are done with dinner.

In an effort to have a sane meal, we have tried letting him eat early,

letting him sit at the counter (thinking the talking/conversation was too

much) and everything in between. We are also in the process off pulling

back on TV watching and I am sure that is not helping. In any case, when he

is done, Logan literally moves my husband's chair and moves him away from

the table - usually to turn on some TV program. This has to stop.

Please help. Any and all ideas are welcome.

[Guest guest]

What memories, never sat at the table with us.

Since I was not aware of any intervention at the time and had lots of

challenging behavior to tackle. I just went with the flow of my son

eating whatever his heart desire.

The same thing happen at school, they would just allow him to eat in

the classroom. So we caved in but at least he ate. When we had an

opportunity to eat like a family, at his usual spot away from

us but yet he would put his hands together while we said Grace.

I allowed him to go ahead and watch TV, to me in order to enjoy a good

meal even while sat afar was not to add any negativity as I

needed to make sure not get stressed over too much. It was one of

those pick your battle moments.

My concern was more on the toilet training at the time, so I did not

bother on the eating issues. Since running into Temple Grandin, this

is when I started learning more about sensory integration disorder.

Within time, he would choose to join us probably when it was dessert

time, so this took baby steps something he really enjoy eating back

then, ice cream with choc. syrup, he learn to eat at the table slowly

as long as he also had his favorite stimming items or video of the day

right beside him. Whatever work was fine with me. Then when I was

learning about ABA/VB then it was time to add several strategies which

worked wonderful. It was giving him that power of choice instead of

demands being placed on him. We also included like some visual

placemats, pics of whatever he wanted to help out with, so this once

again help make a connection. He was a problem eater too at the time,

so ice cream was the most powerful reinforcement to use, never got

tired of it.

It was utilizing the break down steps, it was also implementing the

First & Then. I even had to lock up a lot of his favorite

reinforcements in the garage, it was time to learn to earn them.

We never forced him at the table, it was giving him the power of

choices, made it enjoyable where he could make a connection.

is now one of the first one at the table or I will join him

when hubby and his 2 older brothers are not around, we actually will

eat together in front of the TV to watch a movie which I do not mind.

In order to do this though, he has to help me get our things together,

definitely have to say Grace. At least I know he has master these

skills needed and slack off when we do. Now my son has regress in some

areas due to some of his underlying medical issues but lately he has

really been coming around as I have been busy implementing once again

the strategies around his level of need which has been wonderful to

observe once again.

All worth it when progress is made with whatever interventions going

on which has actually been lots going on, so we have our down time

moments.

Back when he attended school, he was able now to tolerate eating at a

cafeteria or out in the community. Due to undergoing the ABA, SI, &

adding visual supports (mini-schedule, First & Then, choice boards).

Good luck on your mission, hopefully you will find some strategies for

your child.

Irma,20,DS/ASD

[Guest guest]

We had some struggles with eating but we never have when kids were small and now

sit down at a table for dinner as a family, Not that we aren't it just turned

out that way

my husband use to come home from work later alot of times then when I fed the

kids.

Wyatt use to sit in front of TV and eat it kept him in one place and kept his

attention so

he would eat. He also checks tempurature of his food. We had a tv in kitchen and

he

and his sister would sit at the table and eat and my husband and I would sit in

living

room and eat and watch tv. That seemed to be when I could watch it and not have

him

dragging me up every 6 seconds. Now he is 20 and still sits at table and watches

tv

BUT if we have company and we all sit at the dining room table, he also does the

same

and stays there till he is excused. As he got older after he grew out of high

chair, that

seemed to work the best for our family. When we went to restuarants he did

pretty well

sitting and seemed to understand this is not home. We pick and choose our

confrontations

with him (always have) and to us that wasn't that important to battle over. We

did have a

few issues in restuarants and we would (my husband or I) took him out and sat in

car

while others ate, but when he calmed down we would bring him back in and let him

continue eating. He caught on rather quickly and started doing much better. We

had someone suggest having him skip the rest of dinner till next meal, however,

my husband

and I knew the behaviors weren't because of naughtyness it just came with the

territory

and like other behaviors in DS/Aut. we needed to find a way to change or correct

the

best we could. We didn't think taking food away for the rest of the night he

wouldn't

understand  why. He also needed his dinner. I also lots of times would set his

dinner or

whatever. aside and when he was ready to eat then I would give it to him and

then he

was alittle more complient and ready to eat. It probably doesn't sound right to

alot of

other people including our families but it was the best we could do. He

eventually grew

out of that and in another year or so was doing just fine. Do what works the

best for you

and so that meals aren't a battle ground.

Carolyn   aka Wyatt's mom

> We do not have TV during dinner, either, except for the occasional

> football games on Sundays, but then EVERYBODY eats in the family

> room. I don't think the seating is an issue, just staying put. He

> usually will con someone into TV or music in his room when he leaves

> the table, but then comes back for his round two. I think he listens

> to the TV from the dining room, too. The really unnerving thing is

> him constantly dragging my husband away.

>

> I should also note that my parents live with us. We have tried not

> giving his food back when he comes back to the table, but give in

> after the glare from my mom. There are SO MANY things wrong with

> mealtime.... .UGH!

>

>

>

>

> >

> > > OK, I am at a loss. Does anyone have any success at keeping

> their kid at

> > > the table? Logan is 9 with DS-Autism and we have an awful time.

> We tried

> > > tonight to belt him in, which we used to do when he was younger

> (at a

> > > regular dining room chair). Suffice to say that backfired. He is

> still

> > > screaming and we are done with dinner.

> > >

> > > In an effort to have a sane meal, we have tried letting him eat

> early,

> > > letting him sit at the counter (thinking the talking/conversatio n

> was too

> > > much) and everything in between. We are also in the process off

> pulling

> > > back on TV watching and I am sure that is not helping. In any

> case, when he

> > > is done, Logan literally moves my husband's chair and moves him

> away from

> > > the table - usually to turn on some TV program. This has to stop.

> > >

> > > Please help. Any and all ideas are welcome.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

This is the place to get help with that. We luckily have never had this problem

with , just has always ate at the table with us, he use to be very noisy

though, lots of echolalia, thank goodness he rarely does that at the table

anymore. Have you tried social stories about turn the tv off, then eating at

the table, when done, put dishes in the sink then may watch your video, or

something on that line. Maybe let him pick out a special video/dvd to take to

table with him for reinforcement of the idea. Maybe try to get the idea across,

don’t sit down, don’t get to eat. Does he have his own spot? use to

always sit in the same chair every night, occasionally if something going on is

flexible enough to sit somewhere else at the table. Another thing is to be

consistent, always eat at the table for your meals, even better if always at the

same time, as we almost always eat about 6pm, after daddy comes home from work,

this helped tremendously as nathan always asks about food and has a hard time

telling time, so knows when dad gets home from work supper is pretty much on the

way. A timer is another effective tool. I have an alarm clock set in the living

room for 9pm so when it goes off, knows its time to take a bath and get

ready for bed, still may complain as most teenagers do, lol, but does comply.

Hope some of these ideas are helpful, and I'm sure there will be many more on

the list. shawna

http://sewshawna.spaces.live.com