Guest guest Posted August 19, 2010 Report Share Posted August 19, 2010 Shoes. The bane of my existence. Mark, I kinda think black sneakers with a tuxedo sounds very Hollywood. I can imagine somebody wearing them with a certain swagger and panache. (picture somebody like Hugh Laurie at the Emmys) Hey, who says WE can't be the trendsetters! Lynna From: mrwillis@... Date: Thu, 19 Aug 2010 01:22:05 +0000 Subject: Re: in a hurry I live every day for the day and do everything I possibly can. I know I am limited, but there are few things I miss or wish I could do that I don't do. I know someday walking Disney World will come down to riding a scooter, but it will not stop being from being there beside the love of my life. (We are regulars there). I do what I can with my sons and even though I cannot do all the things with the young one that I did with the older one, I will not let that stop him from having everything the older one had. I will not have regrets and will never stop having adventures. The one " obsession " I have... When I have had enough and have to sit for a while when we are Disney, I find myself looking at people's shoes. It amazes me how people can spend an entire day walking a theme park in flip flops! Imagine that! Crocs get me too! I tried a pair once - they are like walking on marshmallows! Problem with something that soft is how easy it is to twist the good ole ankles in them! So the once worn marshmallows went in the trash rather than break my neck. That is one thing that gets to me is shoes! It is not fair other people can wear something so comfortable or nice. I've been known to wear black sneakers with a tuxedo! How sucky is that? Guess I got off track.... Mark > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 I used to wear my black and white shell-toed Adidas every time i had to get dressed up...even for my prom many moons ago and at my wedding (after the ceremony) i wore my black and white Adidas....i thought it was stylish too! Matt > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 Very funny Lynna! Trendsetter? Not me. I find the plainest all black New Balance extra-wide sneakers I can, I wear high black socks with the dark Blue Rocker braces when I wear shorts, all so everything just blends in and is less noticeable. The last thing I want is to stand out in any way. Mark > > > Shoes. The bane of my existence. Mark, I kinda think black sneakers with a tuxedo sounds very Hollywood. I can imagine somebody wearing them with a certain swagger and panache. (picture somebody like Hugh Laurie at the Emmys) Hey, who says WE can't be the trendsetters! > > Lynna > > > > > > > From: mrwillis@... > Date: Thu, 19 Aug 2010 01:22:05 +0000 > Subject: Re: in a hurry > > > > > > > I live every day for the day and do everything I possibly can. I know I am limited, but there are few things I miss or wish I could do that I don't do. I know someday walking Disney World will come down to riding a scooter, but it will not stop being from being there beside the love of my life. (We are regulars there). I do what I can with my sons and even though I cannot do all the things with the young one that I did with the older one, I will not let that stop him from having everything the older one had. I will not have regrets and will never stop having adventures. > > The one " obsession " I have... When I have had enough and have to sit for a while when we are Disney, I find myself looking at people's shoes. It amazes me how people can spend an entire day walking a theme park in flip flops! Imagine that! Crocs get me too! I tried a pair once - they are like walking on marshmallows! Problem with something that soft is how easy it is to twist the good ole ankles in them! So the once worn marshmallows went in the trash rather than break my neck. That is one thing that gets to me is shoes! It is not fair other people can wear something so comfortable or nice. I've been known to wear black sneakers with a tuxedo! How sucky is that? > > Guess I got off track.... > > Mark > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 Hey Mark, Just wondering out loud here... I wonder if our desire to be less noticeable is part of the problem... it reveals that we agree with the world that disability is something that should be hidden, camoflauged, covered up. Wonder what effect it would have on the dynamics of how the world relates to disability if we wore it with justifiable pride (I say pride because I am proud of the things I accomplish that ARE more difficult because of disability, and proud of the character that it has fostered in me)? If we took a can of silver spray paint and painted those white canvas tennis shoes and added gold glitter and created something wow (or tacky!) that said, these are my feet. I love my feet and I'm not gonna let fashion dictates rule my life. I'm just saying that I'm ready to be fashionable and creative and to heck with Madison Avenue. Peace, Lynna From: mrwillis@... Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2010 03:02:37 +0000 Subject: Re: Shoes and Fashion Very funny Lynna! Trendsetter? Not me. I find the plainest all black New Balance extra-wide sneakers I can, I wear high black socks with the dark Blue Rocker braces when I wear shorts, all so everything just blends in and is less noticeable. The last thing I want is to stand out in any way. Mark > > > Shoes. The bane of my existence. Mark, I kinda think black sneakers with a tuxedo sounds very Hollywood. I can imagine somebody wearing them with a certain swagger and panache. (picture somebody like Hugh Laurie at the Emmys) Hey, who says WE can't be the trendsetters! > > Lynna > > > > > > > From: mrwillis@... > Date: Thu, 19 Aug 2010 01:22:05 +0000 > Subject: Re: in a hurry > > > > > > > I live every day for the day and do everything I possibly can. I know I am limited, but there are few things I miss or wish I could do that I don't do. I know someday walking Disney World will come down to riding a scooter, but it will not stop being from being there beside the love of my life. (We are regulars there). I do what I can with my sons and even though I cannot do all the things with the young one that I did with the older one, I will not let that stop him from having everything the older one had. I will not have regrets and will never stop having adventures. > > The one " obsession " I have... When I have had enough and have to sit for a while when we are Disney, I find myself looking at people's shoes. It amazes me how people can spend an entire day walking a theme park in flip flops! Imagine that! Crocs get me too! I tried a pair once - they are like walking on marshmallows! Problem with something that soft is how easy it is to twist the good ole ankles in them! So the once worn marshmallows went in the trash rather than break my neck. That is one thing that gets to me is shoes! It is not fair other people can wear something so comfortable or nice. I've been known to wear black sneakers with a tuxedo! How sucky is that? > > Guess I got off track.... > > Mark > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 In my quest to find " shoes that would work with my feet " , I've brainstormed the idea of having velcro surgically attached to the sole of my foot, with the complimentary piece to all my shoes. Problem solved. Mark my words... someday this will be an option! Lynna > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 i wore my black and white pumas to many a black tie affair. i just coordinated my outfit to be black and white. at my own wedding i word Keds and decorated them with pearls and lace. To be honest, i try not to care anymore about my shoes. I would much rather make my face and upper body. look good so people would not look down at my legs and feet! jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2010 Report Share Posted August 22, 2010 Lynne, Funny, I have been thinking more and more along these lines since we started this online conversation. The funny thing is, with CMT Awareness Week approaching, I have been doing little things every day to prepare and do things to make CMT more noticeable. For example, I have a pumpkin orange CMT t-shirt from my good friend the Awareness Event a few weeks ago at the Altoona Curve baseball event that I wore today and it sparked many conversations during the course of my running around. One person did even say after asking about the shirt that she had not noticed my braces. Maybe I do need to get out my white knee length tube socks and where my white sneakers around and let the world ask me about it! I think what made me wear the black socks and stuff was how often people asked me about the soccer game. I don't know what as worse, the embarassment for me being put on the spot that way, or the embarassment of the other person when I told them they were braces and I would probably be in a wheel chair without them. I belong to a group called the Brotherhood of St. at our church (mainly and Episcopal or Anglican Men's group for prayer, service, and study). We met this morning and I had my pumpkin orange t-shirt on and some " What is CMT " brochures in hand. It brought questions from our Priest. When it came time for the members to report on activities, I told the group of our upcoming Awareness Week " Dine out for CMT " event, and the Priest asked me to write something for the parish newsletter. He may also use part of my story in his sermon tomorrow. We even discussed that perhaps it may be a witness meditation material in time for Awareness Week in September. So I am speaking out more and more. I wonder why I am so self-conscious about the braces? Mark > > > > > > Shoes. The bane of my existence. Mark, I kinda think black sneakers with a tuxedo sounds very Hollywood. I can imagine somebody wearing them with a certain swagger and panache. (picture somebody like Hugh Laurie at the Emmys) Hey, who says WE can't be the trendsetters! > > > > Lynna > > > > > > > > > > > > > > From: mrwillis@ > > Date: Thu, 19 Aug 2010 01:22:05 +0000 > > Subject: Re: in a hurry > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I live every day for the day and do everything I possibly can. I know I am limited, but there are few things I miss or wish I could do that I don't do. I know someday walking Disney World will come down to riding a scooter, but it will not stop being from being there beside the love of my life. (We are regulars there). I do what I can with my sons and even though I cannot do all the things with the young one that I did with the older one, I will not let that stop him from having everything the older one had. I will not have regrets and will never stop having adventures. > > > > The one " obsession " I have... When I have had enough and have to sit for a while when we are Disney, I find myself looking at people's shoes. It amazes me how people can spend an entire day walking a theme park in flip flops! Imagine that! Crocs get me too! I tried a pair once - they are like walking on marshmallows! Problem with something that soft is how easy it is to twist the good ole ankles in them! So the once worn marshmallows went in the trash rather than break my neck. That is one thing that gets to me is shoes! It is not fair other people can wear something so comfortable or nice. I've been known to wear black sneakers with a tuxedo! How sucky is that? > > > > Guess I got off track.... > > > > Mark > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 Hi Lynna, That sounds a bit flower power to me. It is nice in theory but reality is different. In the real world we check out the dress /shoe code, and we are disappointed when we can't wear what everybody else is wearing. Some of us don't do this of course. Some people are happy that they can walk at all and if that is in sneakers, sneakers will do with everything. Right now I am wearing big sandals. They look like the indoor shoes my colleagues are wearing, so it is ok at the office. The others change to nicer shoes when the leave but I wear my sandals (+ braces) all the time. In winter I wear black leather shoes and they are very neutral too. I don't even own sneakers. So it is worth while to check out the shoe market for nicer shoes. My sandals are Otto Bock (very comfy) and black shoes Klaveness. For snowy days Klaveness has just launched boots that go with Blue Rocker braces (my next shoe project). I also have brown glittery Klaveness shoes for parties. Beata > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 Dear Beata, Thanks for responding and especially for the suggestion of shoes that might work. I'm not sure exactly what I wrote that struck you as " flower power " and I'm not entirely sure what you mean by flower power, but I suspect it's similar to " pie in the sky " or " Pollyanna thinking " or something similar... that is to say, " Yeh, nice sentiment, but we have to live in reality here, girl, not with our head in the clouds! " Did I get that right? Was it in reference to my saying I wasn't going to allow Madison Ave. to dictate my life because of the shoe fashion choices that are or are not available to me? I need you to know that I have lived under that constraint. For years, I was TERRIFIED of seeking employment because I couldn't wear business pumps like everybody else. I thought there was NO STINKIN' WAY I could be employed in a professional environment and wear my canvas slip-on shoes. The only shoes I could find that worked with my feet. My friends, ablebodied, entreated me to see it differently. " Lynna, do you REALLY think it will matter to a boss that your shoes aren't the norm if you do your job well? " I was not to be deterred at that time from my thinking. I didn't go to social events that required formal shoes. Or anywhere else where canvas sneakers weren't appropriate. I, and I alone, limited my possibilities due to a perception that the real world would reject me and that the dictates of appropriate fashion were ironclad rules. Since that time, I have learned that most people could give a flip what kind of shoes I have on. I am bright, an interesting conversationalist, outgoing, kind, interested in people AND I make people feel good about themselves when I am present. (How do I know? They tell me that ALOT.) Read that again: My self-acceptance and my interest in them is all they care about. My shoes probably go unnoticed, or if they are noticed, it's with admiration that I don't let not being able to wear " appropriate " shoes impede my life. I know it sounds crazy. I once thought so, too, until I tried living in a different reality. There is freedom from the tyranny. That's my story and I'm stickin' with it. smile. Yours, Lynna Lynna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 LYNNA, that is exactly my story also! At age 48, i am at acceptance and have been told over and over and over again, what i have on my feet does not define me! Of course, i do have a black tie event coming up where i am wearing a " hot " red dress and again the shoes have become an issue. I was just going to get some glitter socks with traction on the bottom! (just kidding, but may bring them along anyway for when i want to kick my braces and shoes off and try to dance!) Jackie Re:  Shoes and Fashion  Dear Beata, Thanks for responding and especially for the suggestion of shoes that might work. I'm not sure exactly what I wrote that struck you as " flower power " and I'm not entirely sure what you mean by flower power, but I suspect it's similar to " pie in the sky " or " Pollyanna thinking " or something similar... that is to say, " Yeh, nice sentiment, but we have to live in reality here, girl, not with our head in the clouds! " Did I get that right? Was it in reference to my saying I wasn't going to allow Madison Ave. to dictate my life because of the shoe fashion choices that are or are not available to me? I need you to know that I have lived under that constraint. For years, I was TERRIFIED of seeking employment because I couldn't wear business pumps like everybody else. I thought there was NO STINKIN' WAY I could be employed in a professional environment and wear my canvas slip-on shoes. The only shoes I could find that worked with my feet. My friends, ablebodied, entreated me to see it differently. " Lynna, do you REALLY think it will matter to a boss that your shoes aren't the norm if you do your job well? " I was not to be deterred at that time from my thinking. I didn't go to social events that required formal shoes. Or anywhere else where canvas sneakers weren't appropriate. I, and I alone, limited my possibilities due to a perception that the real world would reject me and that the dictates of appropriate fashion were ironclad rules. Since that time, I have learned that most people could give a flip what kind of shoes I have on. I am bright, an interesting conversationalist, outgoing, kind, interested in people AND I make people feel good about themselves when I am present. (How do I know? They tell me that ALOT.) Read that again: My self-acceptance and my interest in them is all they care about. My shoes probably go unnoticed, or if they are noticed, it's with admiration that I don't let not being able to wear " appropriate " shoes impede my life. I know it sounds crazy. I once thought so, too, until I tried living in a different reality. There is freedom from the tyranny. That's my story and I'm stickin' with it. smile. Yours, Lynna Lynna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 Lynna. You are so right and I have been through this before...as long as I'm comfy I could give R.A.what people think or the code of dressing my feet!I have been insulted on this subject before..obviously I don't have the funds that others do on this sight and have resorted to having to ware slippers for many years now!Not a pretty sight! What the heck is Flower Power???? Perhaps Beata can tell us! Geri Dear Beata, Thanks for responding and especially for the suggestion of shoes that might work. I'm not sure exactly what I wrote that struck you as " flower power " and I'm not entirely sure what you mean by flower power, but I suspect it's similar to " pie in the sky " or " Pollyanna thinking " or something similar... that is to say, " Yeh, nice sentiment, but we have to live in reality here, girl, not with our head in the clouds! " Did I get that right? Was it in reference to my saying I wasn't going to allow Madison Ave. to dictate my life because of the shoe fashion choices that are or are not available to me? I need you to know that I have lived under that constraint. For years, I was TERRIFIED of seeking employment because I couldn't wear business pumps like everybody else. I thought there was NO STINKIN' WAY I could be employed in a professional environment and wear my canvas slip-on shoes. The only shoes I could find that worked with my feet. My friends, ablebodied, entreated me to see it differently. " Lynna, do you REALLY think it will matter to a boss that your shoes aren't the norm if you do your job well? " I was not to be deterred at that time from my thinking. I didn't go to social events that required formal shoes. Or anywhere else where canvas sneakers weren't appropriate. I, and I alone, limited my possibilities due to a perception that the real world would reject me and that the dictates of appropriate fashion were ironclad rules. Since that time, I have learned that most people could give a flip what kind of shoes I have on. I am bright, an interesting conversationalist, outgoing, kind, interested in people AND I make people feel good about themselves when I am present. (How do I know? They tell me that ALOT.) Read that again: My self-acceptance and my interest in them is all they care about. My shoes probably go unnoticed, or if they are noticed, it's with admiration that I don't let not being able to wear " appropriate " shoes impede my life. I know it sounds crazy. I once thought so, too, until I tried living in a different reality. There is freedom from the tyranny. That's my story and I'm stickin' with it. smile. Yours, Lynna Lynna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 24, 2010 Report Share Posted August 24, 2010 During my younger (and vainer) years I would wear shoes to events that were very uncomfortable that I could hardly walk in, then find a place to sit and not move all evening. I am done with that. In stead of finding an outfit and trying to figure out what I can wear on my feet, I figure out what possiblities there are for my feet then dress from the feet up. That way I can actually enjoy myself and not worry about embarrassing myself when I fall on my face in my cute shoes! Cyndi ________________________________ From: Jackie Sachs <jackiesachs@...> Sent: Mon, August 23, 2010 11:54:11 AM Subject: Re: Shoes and Fashion  LYNNA, that is exactly my story also! At age 48, i am at acceptance and have been told over and over and over again, what i have on my feet does not define me! Of course, i do have a black tie event coming up where i am wearing a " hot " red dress and again the shoes have become an issue. I was just going to get some glitter socks with traction on the bottom! (just kidding, but may bring them along anyway for when i want to kick my braces and shoes off and try to dance!) Jackie Re:  Shoes and Fashion  Dear Beata, Thanks for responding and especially for the suggestion of shoes that might work. I'm not sure exactly what I wrote that struck you as " flower power " and I'm not entirely sure what you mean by flower power, but I suspect it's similar to " pie in the sky " or " Pollyanna thinking " or something similar... that is to say, " Yeh, nice sentiment, but we have to live in reality here, girl, not with our head in the clouds! " Did I get that right? Was it in reference to my saying I wasn't going to allow Madison Ave. to dictate my life because of the shoe fashion choices that are or are not available to me? I need you to know that I have lived under that constraint. For years, I was TERRIFIED of seeking employment because I couldn't wear business pumps like everybody else. I thought there was NO STINKIN' WAY I could be employed in a professional environment and wear my canvas slip-on shoes. The only shoes I could find that worked with my feet. My friends, ablebodied, entreated me to see it differently. " Lynna, do you REALLY think it will matter to a boss that your shoes aren't the norm if you do your job well? " I was not to be deterred at that time from my thinking. I didn't go to social events that required formal shoes. Or anywhere else where canvas sneakers weren't appropriate. I, and I alone, limited my possibilities due to a perception that the real world would reject me and that the dictates of appropriate fashion were ironclad rules. Since that time, I have learned that most people could give a flip what kind of shoes I have on. I am bright, an interesting conversationalist, outgoing, kind, interested in people AND I make people feel good about themselves when I am present. (How do I know? They tell me that ALOT.) Read that again: My self-acceptance and my interest in them is all they care about. My shoes probably go unnoticed, or if they are noticed, it's with admiration that I don't let not being able to wear " appropriate " shoes impede my life. I know it sounds crazy. I once thought so, too, until I tried living in a different reality. There is freedom from the tyranny. That's my story and I'm stickin' with it. smile. Yours, Lynna Lynna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 24, 2010 Report Share Posted August 24, 2010 I developed lymphodema in my lower legs, especially the left one, a few years ago. Before I learned about treatment for it, my feet became so swollen that finding ANY shoes became almost impossible. There were days that I went to work in black socks. Let me tell you, for a woman who was a high school prom princess, and uber-attentive to fashion and beauty, this has been an incredibly humbling experience. Although it's been difficult, it's made me grow from a pretty shallow person focused on the exterior, to one who has a little more depth and who appreciates that in other people, too. Although I am not sacrificing quality of life because I don't have the " right " shoes to wear to events, that is not to say that I don't care what people think. I want people to see me fashionably attired with jewelry, makeup, nice clothes and to realize that I care about my appearance as a reflection of the regard I have for myself. I don't try to hide or cover up my skinny calves or my mishapen, swollen feet/ankles. By being okay with them, even honoring them, it models for other people the attitude that disability isn't shameful. It's just one part of the spectrum of being human. I hope to get the lymphodema under control to be able to wear some knock-your-socks off sexy high-heeled sandals.(That's now possible since I use a wheelchair alot of the time and don't have to worry about trying to walk in shoes.) Until then, I wear my extra-wide black janes most of the time, and try to dress nicely, and to wear my best accoutrement... a nice smile and a friendly demeanor. My experiences with disability is that the degree of rejection I've experienced from other people due to it is DIRECTLY proportional to my degree of self-rejection. The more I have grown to love and to value myself, including my disabiity, the more people respond positively. I think it frees people to be okay with disability and not to fear it so much. I let people know by the way I carry myself that this is not something to pity or to fear. We carry within us the power to change the world. I truly believe that. Blessings, Lynna From: hotwheels@... Date: Mon, 23 Aug 2010 13:58:08 -0500 Subject: Re: Shoes and Fashion Lynna. You are so right and I have been through this before...as long as I'm comfy I could give R.A.what people think or the code of dressing my feet!I have been insulted on this subject before..obviously I don't have the funds that others do on this sight and have resorted to having to ware slippers for many years now!Not a pretty sight! What the heck is Flower Power???? Perhaps Beata can tell us! Geri Dear Beata, Thanks for responding and especially for the suggestion of shoes that might work. I'm not sure exactly what I wrote that struck you as " flower power " and I'm not entirely sure what you mean by flower power, but I suspect it's similar to " pie in the sky " or " Pollyanna thinking " or something similar... that is to say, " Yeh, nice sentiment, but we have to live in reality here, girl, not with our head in the clouds! " Did I get that right? Was it in reference to my saying I wasn't going to allow Madison Ave. to dictate my life because of the shoe fashion choices that are or are not available to me? I need you to know that I have lived under that constraint. For years, I was TERRIFIED of seeking employment because I couldn't wear business pumps like everybody else. I thought there was NO STINKIN' WAY I could be employed in a professional environment and wear my canvas slip-on shoes. The only shoes I could find that worked with my feet. My friends, ablebodied, entreated me to see it differently. " Lynna, do you REALLY think it will matter to a boss that your shoes aren't the norm if you do your job well? " I was not to be deterred at that time from my thinking. I didn't go to social events that required formal shoes. Or anywhere else where canvas sneakers weren't appropriate. I, and I alone, limited my possibilities due to a perception that the real world would reject me and that the dictates of appropriate fashion were ironclad rules. Since that time, I have learned that most people could give a flip what kind of shoes I have on. I am bright, an interesting conversationalist, outgoing, kind, interested in people AND I make people feel good about themselves when I am present. (How do I know? They tell me that ALOT.) Read that again: My self-acceptance and my interest in them is all they care about. My shoes probably go unnoticed, or if they are noticed, it's with admiration that I don't let not being able to wear " appropriate " shoes impede my life. I know it sounds crazy. I once thought so, too, until I tried living in a different reality. There is freedom from the tyranny. That's my story and I'm stickin' with it. smile. Yours, Lynna Lynna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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