Leilani

October 22, 2008

Thank you so much for the information. Just when I think Im getting it, I learn

something new, so this site has been an incredible help. What is an SSRI? Im

sorry if Im asking so many questions, I just want to learn as much as I can in

order to help my son. That is my prayer every night, " Help me to help my son. "

Thanks, Leilani

Leilani

<<not to mention that I'm just so weary of putting him on

meds........ ....... Would I need his ped. to refer him to a psych? Leilani>>

Hi, Everyone.... Leilani.. ..it is a very hard decision to put your kid on

meds but I can tell you that since Gareth has been on meds, his whole life

changed for the better. When his meds are off or we try to decrease the

Risperdal, he is miserable... ......just plain mean and miserable. I know that

even he

doesn't like that Gareth...... .he can't control himself. We have always

used a child psych to regulate G's meds.. I don't know if a reg ped/PCP would

want to try or not. Like I said before, if they don't work and you don't see a

major change in behaviors, then you can always take him off them. Many of

us have found that we need a combo for our kids.....Risperdal plus and SSRI,

etc. G needs the SSRI for his OCD. Also......too high a dose can make

negative behaviors come back. You really should keep a chart when starting so

you

know what works and what doesn't.

Take care, Everyone.

Margaret

************ **New MapQuest Local shows what's happening at your destination.

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October 22, 2008

>

> Thank you so much for the information.ï¿½ Just when I think Im getting

it, I learn something new, so this site has been an incredible help.ï¿½

What is an SSRI?ï¿½ Im sorry if Im asking so many questions, I just want

to learn as much as I can in order toï¿½help my son.ï¿½ That is my prayer

every night, " Help me to help my son. " Thanks, Leilani

Leilani, we are all right along with you, learning together.

Do not be afraid to take the steps needed to ease your son whether it

be meds or the alternative route, either route it is still proceeding

with caution.

Questions are always welcome and we know you will share some of your

feedback who are in the same boat.

As you can see how many share their experiences it helps to know that

we are not alone and will apply whatever needed to address the

challenges given especially if they are problematic where you just

want to pull your hair out but instead find a wonderful group list

here to seek for answers.

My son has undergone the med trial back when he was a youngster but

back then most of the doc's care he was under did not really know what

they were addressing so most of the med's that were prescribed were a

no go. Yes, there were times it worked but then things went down hill

so it will always be trial and errors.

The meds that are being described here on this listserve many docs

that my son was seen by were not even aware of some of them so you can

imagine not being monitor properly.

You have choices versus dealing with not having any information.

Meds could help individuals due to the brain being rewired.

If I had to go the med route once again, it will now be a different

approach which is exactly what you are doing, exploring for answers

and so you are on the right track.

Everyone is different where we could brag away on what has been good

for our individual but then within time there is always another hurdle

to tackle. It is always figuring out a solution.

I'll leave the SSRI explanation to the more experience troopers here

on this listserve who travel the med journey.

Follow your gut instinct and see what avenue you are ready to tackle.

Keep a journal to.

If you type medication or SSRI meds in the search box if you are

reading directly from the listserve, you will encounter a lot of

information to read up on.

Some help I am, right?

Oh yea, question have you had your son seen by the doc out in

Corpus Christi Dr. Len Leshin? Is he still practicing or involved with

the Down syndrome community?

Good luck on your mission.

Irma,20,DS/ASD

October 24, 2008

Thank you so much for the information and the kind words. It helps alot, Dr.

Leshin's name sounds so familiar, I dont think we have seen him, then again, we

have seen so many doctors, so who knows. What does he specialize in? Leilani

________________________________

To:

Sent: Wednesday, October 22, 2008 10:17:13 PM

Subject: Re: Leilani

>

> Thank you so much for the information.ï¿½ Just when I think Im getting

it, I learn something new, so this site has been an incredible help.ï¿½

What is an SSRI?ï¿½ Im sorry if Im asking so many questions, I just want

to learn as much as I can in order toï¿½help my son.ï¿½ That is my prayer

every night, " Help me to help my son. " Thanks, Leilani

Leilani, we are all right along with you, learning together.

Do not be afraid to take the steps needed to ease your son whether it

be meds or the alternative route, either route it is still proceeding

with caution.

Questions are always welcome and we know you will share some of your

feedback who are in the same boat.

As you can see how many share their experiences it helps to know that

we are not alone and will apply whatever needed to address the

challenges given especially if they are problematic where you just

want to pull your hair out but instead find a wonderful group list

here to seek for answers.

My son has undergone the med trial back when he was a youngster but

back then most of the doc's care he was under did not really know what

they were addressing so most of the med's that were prescribed were a

no go. Yes, there were times it worked but then things went down hill

so it will always be trial and errors.

The meds that are being described here on this listserve many docs

that my son was seen by were not even aware of some of them so you can

imagine not being monitor properly.

You have choices versus dealing with not having any information.

Meds could help individuals due to the brain being rewired.

If I had to go the med route once again, it will now be a different

approach which is exactly what you are doing, exploring for answers

and so you are on the right track.

Everyone is different where we could brag away on what has been good

for our individual but then within time there is always another hurdle

to tackle. It is always figuring out a solution.

I'll leave the SSRI explanation to the more experience troopers here

on this listserve who travel the med journey.

Follow your gut instinct and see what avenue you are ready to tackle.

Keep a journal to.

If you type medication or SSRI meds in the search box if you are

reading directly from the listserve, you will encounter a lot of

information to read up on.

Some help I am, right?

Oh yea, question have you had your son seen by the doc out in

Corpus Christi Dr. Len Leshin? Is he still practicing or involved with

the Down syndrome community?

Good luck on your mission.

Irma,20, DS/ASD

October 27, 2008

This issue of understanding body distance is an ongoning issue and could

last for years. Also the sudden leap to the feet and dashing over to do

something to someone else (Elie's favorite was not choking, but open hand

hitting (not slapping because he didn't aim for the face.)

We noticed it when Elie was TIGER CUB AGE (don't remember the age exactly

but do the incident). A father was teaching wrestling moves. Elie got it,

got a kid down and had him so tightly that the kid was turning blue. HE

just doesn't get too much. We taught hands to yourself meaning he was

told to interlace his fingers and put them in his lap. Later an OT said

to tell him to squeeze his fingers so that he got some good muscle input at

the same time.

We also monitored TV very closely. NO wrestling, westerns, cartoons , .

These have too much violence where there are really no immediate

consequences.

Elie is 23 and living with a firend. He still cannot watch TV wrestling

without wanting to imitate it.

Having a functional assesment of behavior can help. We may not see the

antecedent but a trained observer can..

And just for your peace of mind - a good observer will be unnoticed by the

kid being observed.

> Leilani,

> When I read this I had to tell you I know exactly how you feel. Connor has

> done the same thing. I have always been hyper alert as he has not known how

> to interact with other children. The weekend after we first heard the word

> autism from his therapists, we went to the Oregon coast for a family day

> (only about two hours away) Toward the end of dinner at one of our favorite

> restaurants, Connor wanted down to go to the kids area (lego table) I asked

> my husband to go with him but he was taking his sweet time. I looked up and

> Connor had his hands around another little boys neck. I think my heart

> stopped. I raced over and immediately detached Connor and told him to hug

> the right way. Some well meaning man at the table next to this demanded

> that I do something as my child was choking the other little boy. I told

> him I was aware of it and that my son had down syndrome and autism and

> thought he was playing. I saw red, still do, but then

> cried most of the way home that night. A couple weeks later I got a call

> from the sunday school coordinator that Connor was being " overly

> affectionate " with the other kids. IE hands around neck. I cried and

> cried... I asked his teacher what they did in his developmental classroom.

> She said they would say " hands to yourself " however I noticed at home that

> when I would say that, Connor would no longer use his hands but would try to

> hit his sister with an object or a book. I have always showed him how to

> hug the right way when he tries to do that. That is my interpretation of

> his behavior as he is generally one of the sweetest kids I know. We also

> got him a 1:1 volunteer for church that hangs out with him in Sunday

> school. He is so excited to go and I have not had any phone calls in

> months!!!! He also has a 1:1 aide for preschool. I have noticed with all

> the 1:1 support around his interaction with peers that he is being much more

> appropriate. We still have meltdown moments at home, especially when

> sister tries to make off with his beloved stuffed tigger and he tackles her

> while I am on the phone with his DD case manager, but he is starting to move

> past it!!!! I am still very alert when we are around other small children.

> Older kids, no problem because they like to roughouse and play with him. I

> just am consistent, tell him to let go, show him hug the right way and

> redirect him to something else.

> I hope this helps, if nothing else, you are not alone!!!!

>

> Amy

> Mom to Connor 3 years and Brenna 1 year

>

> ________________________________

> From: leilani.aguirre <leilani.aguirre@...<leilani.aguirre%40yahoo.com>

> >

> To:

> Sent: Monday, October 27, 2008 12:11:44 PM

> Subject: Phone call from the principal!!!

>

> So today I got a phone call from the principal letting me know that

> Noah tried to choke another student. When she told me this I had to

> sit down. I was so upset. I kept my cool on the phone and asked so

> many questions. She said he wasnt provoked, that he was sitting in

> the library center and they were both reading when Noah just got up

> and tried to choke him and poked his eye. I was told that they had

> to pry his fingers away. I felt horrible, I dont want Noah to be

> perceived as crazy or something. This was the first time I have

> heard of him doing something like this. I just dont understand. I

> know sometimes when he and I play, he puts his hands around my neck,

> gets nose to nose, and bounces. Everytime he does this, i have to

> put his hands on my shoulders because I could see how this would be

> perceived as threatening. I even remember commenting to his dad

> about this, like " Wow, we really need to teach him to keep his hands

> away from the neck, He's strong!! " And sure enough, it happened at

> school. I mentioned this to the principal, asked if he was laughing

> like he was playing. I just feel like they think Im making excuses

> for him and Im not at all. I dont know. A behavioralist is supposed

> to observe him and there is supposed to be yet another staffing. I

> just hurt for Noah, because he just doesnt realize what is going on.

> I just want my son to be a little boy, and sometimes I feel like he

> doesnt have that luxury. He's always being observed, or tested, or

> written on. He'l like a walking case study. I feel like they expect

> so much more from him then the other students and there are days

> where im sure he wants to just scream " BACK OFF!! " I know I do.

> sorry, just venting. Thanks for listening, Leilani

>

October 28, 2008

Sounds good to me. Very sincere and non threatening. Let us know what she

says.

Margaret

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December 16, 2008

Hi Leilani,

Thanks for the support. We speak the same language. Eventually truth prevails.

My advice is to keep a paper trail and document, document. I have never been a

yes parent and never agreed with the districts low expectations and disregard

for students with disabilities. I was told from day one that he would never do

this or never do that. He proved otherwise and I pushed for more. They pushed

back.

Charlyne

Subject: Schools

To: @yahoogrou ps.com

Date: Tuesday, December 16, 2008, 7:24 PM

<<Children With Disabilities Arrested For Behavior>>

Hi, Everyone.... you know what's the scary part? It is that these were

school related incidences. Teachers are suppose to follow IEP's, that are

suppose to have BP's for kids that need them, and they are suppose to prevent

these

sorts of incidences. There are just some schools/teachers/ districts out

there that just don't' give a d@# & about the student. Our % for bad schools was

1/6 concerning G's schools..... that is an awful high number if it represents

the schools across America!!! The bad districts just want the gov'ts $$$ and

could care less about the kids.. We had the *privilege* of living in such a

district and, as many of you already know, Gareth was *charged* at the age of

7 for kicking his aide in the shin ---even though there was no mark of proof

that he did it. It is scary....like Holly said....what' s going to happen to

the 1/150 when they reach the teenage yrs? Sorry for the

anger....... personal subject here!!!

Take care, Everyone.

Margaret

************ **Make your life easier with all your friends, email, and

favorite sites in one place. Try it now.

(http://www.aol. com/?optin= new-dp & icid= aolcom40vanity & ncid=emlcntaolco

m00000010)

December 17, 2008

The alert and active parent DOES improve services for their child - even

when we get hit with retaliation as Charlyne has been. And she is not

alone. But being involved has risks but also benefits.

I was told when we moved to GA that we were NUTS. No school services, no

waiver services, no decent medical care. Well - Mr Elie has had it all! HE

had a GREEAT last year in school with a caring staff and a great learning

program mutually agreed to by us and the school. HE had a good first year

out of school with a day community waiver and work shop. HE now has a full

residential waiver with day supports and job coach. How did we do this in

under two years?

PERSISTANCE> We did every bit of paper work, attended every meeting, argued

and cajoled and smiled and eventually YELLED, but we got it all.

And I fight for NO WAITING LISTS for others while my son has NEVER been on

one. We know no one, pull no strings, but still he gets what he needs in a

timely manner. Therefore, I must say that it is only by constant phone

calls - up and down the chain of command and writing emails, and filling out

papers.

> Hi Leilani,

> Thanks for the support. We speak the same language. Eventually truth

> prevails. My advice is to keep a paper trail and document, document. I have

> never been a yes parent and never agreed with the districts low expectations

> and disregard for students with disabilities. I was told from day one that

> he would never do this or never do that. He proved otherwise and I pushed

> for more. They pushed back.

> Charlyne

>

> From: mfroof@... <mfroof%40AOL.com> <mfroof@... <mfroof%40AOL.com>

> >

>

> Subject: Schools

>

> To: @yahoogrou ps.com

>

> Date: Tuesday, December 16, 2008, 7:24 PM

>

> <<Children With Disabilities Arrested For Behavior>>

>

> Hi, Everyone.... you know what's the scary part? It is that these were

>

> school related incidences. Teachers are suppose to follow IEP's, that are

>

> suppose to have BP's for kids that need them, and they are suppose to

> prevent these

>

> sorts of incidences. There are just some schools/teachers/ districts out

>

> there that just don't' give a d@# & about the student. Our % for bad

> schools was

>

> 1/6 concerning G's schools..... that is an awful high number if it

> represents

>

> the schools across America!!! The bad districts just want the gov'ts $$$

> and

>

> could care less about the kids.. We had the *privilege* of living in such a

>

> district and, as many of you already know, Gareth was *charged* at the age

> of

>

> 7 for kicking his aide in the shin ---even though there was no mark of

> proof

>

> that he did it. It is scary....like Holly said....what' s going to happen

> to

>

> the 1/150 when they reach the teenage yrs? Sorry for the

>

> anger....... personal subject here!!!

>

> Take care, Everyone.

>

> Margaret

>

> ************ **Make your life easier with all your friends, email, and

>

> favorite sites in one place. Try it now.

>

> (http://www.aol. com/?optin= new-dp & icid= aolcom40vanity & ncid=emlcntaolco

> m00000010)

>

December 17, 2008

> And I fight for NO WAITING LISTS for others while my son has NEVER

been on one. We know no one, pull no strings, but still he gets what

he needs in a timely manner. Therefore, I must say that it is only by

constant phone calls - up and down the chain of command and writing

emails, and filling out papers.

Oh Sara, this is us too. has been on the wait list for several

other Medicaid Waiver list but has received from the other pot of

Waiver funds throughout his years for whatever services at the time to

where he is now, supposedly the Cadillac services when they reach to

the HCS funds.

I still advocate where needed even though I am not on this path of

waiting, no complains. Still assisting where needed and making

numerous friends on this path who can all relate.

Irma,20,DS/ASD

May 26, 2009

Leilani,

I went through this when my daughter, Aubrey, now 11, was one week out of closed

heart surgery. Aubrey's health needs were immensely demanding at that time...She

was 11 months old and her older typical sister not quite 4.

If you think counseling could help your marriage-make it happen, if not...when

you are ready to take the next step, come back to this email...

Know that you are not alone. They say that 80% of marriages which include

children with special needs children don't make it.

You will get through this. I, too, could not believe that my ex would leave me

to raise our children alone. Over the years I have seen that he just did not

want the full-time responsibility because he admittedly said he was just " too

selfish. " His guilt led him to do some horrific things to me and I was too

immersed in his abusive actions fueled by this guilt-to stay focused on what was

truly important. Thus I let him dictate the course of my next three years until

our divorce was final. That cost me almost 20,000. He was determined to punish

me for going through with my pregnancy when he felt I had a choice.

I was terrified the first time I walked back to my townhome and realized that I

would be doing this alone. Thankfully my Mom was here for me then. She passed

away about five months later of an aggressive lung cancer.

1999 was a terrible year...but I got through it.

If you have family, close friends etc...please do not hesitate to turn to them

for emotional support and financial help if needed. I wish now that I had

accepted the financial help for attorneys fees my Father offered then but I was

too proud.

The best piece of advice I can give you is to take care of yourself first.

Then you will have the strength to take care of your babies. Focus on your LOVE

for them and you will find strength you never thought you had.

There is strength in having your own " PLAN. " Your children are entitled to child

support and you are entitled to alimony and fair division of property.

There are agencies out there that can help you find a counselor to help you sort

out and deal with your feelings. Contact your local Easter Seals and they may

have referrals for agencies, counselors etc. who specialize in working with

parents of children with special needs...

There are attorneys out there who can help you. Contact your local attorney

referral network...of contact your Legal Aid Society nearby and ask for

referrals. There are also internet sites where you can find legal help.

Mention that you have a child with profound special needs. My second attorney

had experience with this. Instead of letting a judge-who Truly would not

understand my special needs child's needs-decide my children's fate, his

attorney, my ex, myself and my attorney sat at a table and negotiated a

settlement. It was the most productive day of my three year ordeal with this. I

wish we had done this early on, it would have saved me a LOT of money but most

importantly, a lot of energy I needed for my children.

That was ten years ago this past April 16th. It is not easy being a single

parent, but your love for your children will lead the way...

Email anytime.

Desi McKenzie

Mililani, Hi

>

> >

> > I COMPLETELY agree here, I feel for you girl, but Miss is right.

> > Sometimes another person in the house just means another child to get after.

> > That is what it feels like with Noahs dad about98.999 percent of the time.

> > Never been to an ard, doesnt know his teachers, refuses to acknowledge diet

> > (says im grasping @ false hope), doesnt help with potty training..., I could

> > go on and on. Here is my secret, we are walking on eggshells here, Im not

> > sure what teh divorce rate among parents with special needs kids are, but

> > im sure it is very high. Men do not understand teh job of a woman,

> > everybody wants a piece of mom, and I just dont know how much of me is left.

> > Im up at 5am and dont get to bed until close to midnight. Getting kids

> > ready, lunch ready, loading ALL the kids up to drop off two because dad wont

> > stay with the others, come back clean from the busy morning just to have it

> > ruined when the kids come home, get dinner ready, get kids bathed and

> > ready for the next day, get them to bed, clean again, and just when i think

> > i can close my eyes, here comes dad who wants a piece of mom too. of course

> > he is relaxed and ready to go, because the whole time i was being a mother,

> > he was outside having a beer or playing with his remote control cars. Yes, a

> > grown ass man playing with toys and NOT with his kids. Need I continue,

> > because I definantly can. I just make excuses for him because i dont want

> > people to see that i am failing at that too, like i feel im failing at

> > everything else. And where is he as we speak, i dont know, last i heard, he

> > threatend to find someone else because i dont " spend time with him " . and

> > that i better go stand in the welfare line because he is not going to pay

> > for our bills, did I mention that I am not working nor did i finish school

> > because " my place is at home cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids "

> > oh yes, he trully has put us on the spot, and who will suffer, our

> > kids. Sorry i just took off like that, but my point is, sometimes a man is

> > more trouble than they are worth, worry about you and your babies, stay

> > strong, and i will trully pray for you. Leilani

> >

> > ____________ _________ _________ __

> > From: <cynthiamiltonburns @...<cynthiamilt onburns%40yahoo. com>

> > >

> > To: @yahoogrou ps.com <%40yahoog roups.com>

> > Sent: Sunday, May 24, 2009 8:44:46 PM

> > Subject: Re: this and that happy early memorial day

> >

> > Leah, Please know that just because there is not " a man " currently worth

> > your having you have all of us. I have definitely been where you are with

> > cleaning up fecal smearing, vomit,and mending walls, furniture because Mr.

> > was having a bad dad. At any time could take a turn for the worst

> > at have those behaviors again. I want you to realize something to that just

> > because some of us have a " MAN " it has not always be helpful. I watched an

> > episode of Kate plus 8 today and Kate said something that is true for us.

> > " We are not always on the same page for parenting. " My husband was still

> > laying down like an infant last summer and changing his pullups instead

> > of trying to potty train him. Let me share another secret. would be

> > potty trained if when was running and hidding like a typical child at

> > age 5 yrs old his dad would have taken him to the potty. I was the only

> > person trying to get him potty trained. His dad does take him to the potty

> > now but in other training he still lacks help. When the ABA therapist comes

> > to the home my husband is not where he can watch what the therapist does to

> > train . This infuriates me. We all need to be on the same page to train

> > . Yes my husband is another warm bodies person in the house that can

> > relieve me at times but sometimes I pay a price for that relief. Like when

> > my husband gets ready for bed and he carries upstairs instead of

> > making him walk. Then when I am by myself with and I need to get him to

> > walk up the stairs thinks I too can carry him. I trained my husband in

> > how to get to walk up the stairs but my husband will give in and carry

> > him up. I asked my husband this, " What will you do when he is 6'1 and

> > 280lbs?' He said " I don't know. " He never thinks ahead. So see even when you

> > live with someone it does not mean you have support. Leah I just wish I

> > could give you a hug because you deserve it for all you have had to

> > endure alone. Please know that just because I am not there I do empathize

> > with you and wish I could help. Sincerely Cyndi B

> > >

> > > hello listees.... happy belated bday to .....glad he had a wonderful

> > time..... they grow so fast........

> > >

> > > hi sherry....how is ms. jamie doing these days......

> > >

> > > we are off to Duke again......were at the ER friday night I think......

> > hey mar when did I text you lol....... ashton's tremors are horrid....the

> > drooling.... ..the seizures.... ... where did my independent daughter

> > go....... i am really having a hard time struggling emotionally and dealing

> > with this deep dark regression she has taken..... it is killing me at

> > times.... and to be honest I get jealous sometimes and can't read the list

> > because she " USED TO BE ONE OF THOSE KIDS " LOL those kids who was doing

> > great.... she was making sooooo much progress in school, with reading, her

> > flowers, her high school swimming... taking care of her own needs..... and

> > now here I am changing her and wiping her butt again after allllllllll these

> > years...... its almost time for her to wipe mine......maybe I am having a

> > self pity party..... i hate being a single mom, I hate being alone all the

> > time....... i hate sitting in the cold er with noone to rub my neck or pull

> > me

> > > close to hug me when I hear dreaded words....... . who the hell holds me

up

> > after i am on the floor scrubbing up vomit and runny poo or blood.......

> > ..myself. ...... just once I wish my life was different and the struggles

> > weren't so hard..... my living room is in boxes cuz of the move, my bank

> > account empty because of the deposits, my heart broken because men are pigs,

> > and ummmmm I guess my pity party is over...... I hear ashton hollering

> > mommy....... sorry for the grumpy gripe..... must be the rain........ ...

> > >

May 28, 2009

Hi Leilani,

Finally got a chance to jot a note off to you. Saw a lot of support and

ideas coming from the group. I hope the last couple days have been better

and you have found some answers. I will continue to think of you and

remember you in my prayers.

Louise

May 29, 2009

Yes, thank you, things really have calmed down, I must admit that i am a little

wary of his sudden change of heart. He disappears and comes back like nothing. I

hate to think the worst, but that is where my mind goes. And as much as he has

put us through, the thought still hurts. I even wondered at times, God forbid,

if he was bipolar. He goes off on these tangents like once a month or every

other month. What this has done though, is reiterate the fact that no matter

what, 1) I love my kids, 2) I need a plan. I dnt want to be caught off guard

again. If things take a turn for the worst, i need to have somewhere to go,

money, and a way to support my family alone if need be. I cant keep going

through this. I dnt need to deal wiht his " mantrums " on top of everything else i

have going on. I think i finally got through to him two nights ago, when the

kids were asleep and he found me crying. I finally (without yelling) asked him

if he evr once considered

what i am going thru, what i have to deal with, if he thought that maybe i felt

like running away sometimes, or maybe if im just flippin exhausted. Who knows

what the future will bring, but i thank you and the entire group for helping me

through it. Much love, Leilani

________________________________

To:

Sent: Thursday, May 28, 2009 4:39:03 PM

Subject: Re: LEILANI

Hi Leilani,

Finally got a chance to jot a note off to you. Saw a lot of support and

ideas coming from the group. I hope the last couple days have been better

and you have found some answers. I will continue to think of you and

remember you in my prayers.

Louise

May 29, 2009

Leilani: I don't want to spoil this quiet time. However, my experience

tells me that you MUST use this time to make yor plans and start putting

things in place. If you never need them - wonderful. But if you do find

that you need them, you will not have time then to make a plan. Prepare

NOW!!

Meanwhile, if counseling is possible for your children's sake, do it!!!

On Fri, May 29, 2009 at 6:13 PM, Leilani Aguirre

wrote:

>

> Yes, thank you, things really have calmed down, I must admit that i am a

> little wary of his sudden change of heart. He disappears and comes back like

> nothing. I hate to think the worst, but that is where my mind goes. And as

> much as he has put us through, the thought still hurts. I even wondered at

> times, God forbid, if he was bipolar. He goes off on these tangents like

> once a month or every other month. What this has done though, is reiterate

> the fact that no matter what, 1) I love my kids, 2) I need a plan. I dnt

> want to be caught off guard again. If things take a turn for the worst, i

> need to have somewhere to go, money, and a way to support my family alone if

> need be. I cant keep going through this. I dnt need to deal wiht his

> " mantrums " on top of everything else i have going on. I think i finally got

> through to him two nights ago, when the kids were asleep and he found me

> crying. I finally (without yelling) asked him if he evr once considered

> what i am going thru, what i have to deal with, if he thought that maybe i

> felt like running away sometimes, or maybe if im just flippin exhausted. Who

> knows what the future will bring, but i thank you and the entire group for

> helping me through it. Much love, Leilani

>

> ________________________________

> From: Louise & Andy

<louandy@...<louandy%40wideopenwest.com>

> >

> To:

> Sent: Thursday, May 28, 2009 4:39:03 PM

> Subject: Re: LEILANI

>

> Hi Leilani,

>

> Finally got a chance to jot a note off to you. Saw a lot of support and

> ideas coming from the group. I hope the last couple days have been better

> and you have found some answers. I will continue to think of you and

> remember you in my prayers.

>

> Louise

>

May 29, 2009

I couldnt agree with you more, thank you. In the process of putting money aside,

this will help me to cover bills if i have to and give me time to apply for

assistance that i know we would qualify for, this really puts a crimp in my

plans to return to school this coming fall though. I think that may be why he is

being the way that he is, or part of it. Leilani

________________________________

To:

Sent: Friday, May 29, 2009 4:57:47 PM

Subject: Re: Re: LEILANI

Leilani: I don't want to spoil this quiet time. However, my experience

tells me that you MUST use this time to make yor plans and start putting

things in place. If you never need them - wonderful. But if you do find

that you need them, you will not have time then to make a plan. Prepare

NOW!!

Meanwhile, if counseling is possible for your children's sake, do it!!!

On Fri, May 29, 2009 at 6:13 PM, Leilani Aguirre

<leilani.aguirre@ yahoo.com>wrote: