Re: throwing-frustration?

November 22, 2008

Throwing...Aubrey (10, dstr21, hearing impaired, PDDNOS diagnosed in May of this

year) throws like there's no tomorrow. She didn't throw when she was younger,

but started over the past two years or so when we started really noticing the

unusual sensory behaviors...

I'm wondering if it's a sensory thing, discovering " cause and effect, or

a compulsive need for the visual stim?!?!?! She especially loves to throw things

as far as she can, in corners, across the room etc...She does understand that if

something is thrown hard enough it can hurt you. It seems it also may be a way

of her expressing herself-frustration?

Scary stuff, but very rare when she throws something with the intent to hurt.

Example...we have had a very problematic neighbor renting a unit above the

townhome we own. Our family is an easy target...single mom, two young

daughters...One of the many problems we had with upstairs tenant was his having

his children running back and forth across their living room all day long

especially on weekends...way too much " stim " for Aubrey sitting right below

it...one rainy Sunday afternoon, my normally very loving child punched her older

sister smack in the face after a long day of pounding above her head...my older

daughter and I were shocked! That incident was the last straw for me and was the

impetus for me to have the courage to take action against this tenant(s) once

and for all.

Thankfully, tenant(s) got evicted in mid-October. That night he made sure to

come out of his unit, stand behind my car and " stare us down " yet again as we

came out of our car...(we had a temporary restraining order on him when he would

verbally harass us after I decided to finally take a stand and started filing

incident reports with our association-that a judge eventually sadly dismissed.)

After we filed police report that night (for documentation purposes as

instructed by prior officers) this tenant started jumping and pounding on his

floor with such rage that it was terrifying. Aubrey threw a large lint roller

" brush " right at my face. Double whammy for Mommy!

In this case, I believe she was trying to express her fear and frustration with

the neighbor. When I walked over to her, (I was really scared, too but can

verbally express my fear) I asked her if she was afraid because of the loud

noise. (Remember Aubrey is mild to moderately hearing impaired so that tells you

how loud this noise is.) She signed " afraid " and then started to cry.

I just sat there with her on the floor, and held her while she cried for a long

time. When she appeared to feel better, I signed/talked to her (I don't know how

much she really understands but I will respect her need to know and share

everything with her in the simplest way I know how...)

about how " Aubrey OK?...man upstairs going away " (we now are counting down the

days together-9 days left-good math lesson-good for the psychi and

then...that she cannot throw things at Mommy and how she hurt me...She signed

" sorry " and then she went on with her play.

Her throwing is a behavior addressed in her BSP at school, and as far as I know,

she doesn't dare throw in school anymore or recess gets taken away from her.

Thankfully, she hasn't thrown in a restaurant etc yet...BUT I always worry about

the potential with big songbooks in church. YIKES!

Aubrey can go into a closet to play hide and seek and throw things out of it in

less than 5 minutes if not monitored every second. Imagine if you couldn't put

everything back into that closet right away?!

This is a behavior one wants to redirect soon or house will look like

mine-remember that Warner Brother's " Taz " character...yup, she can " whirl " , too

and QUICK!

At home, this is one of the most frustrating parts about being a single parent.

I could use another body around the house with her, just to monitor this

behavior. I try as hard as I can NOT to give her the BIG REACTION I used to when

she would throw something and calmly redirect her behavior. She HAS to put away

toys, objects, especially those she throws...Thankfully, she truly has improved

a lot with maturity.

Praying one day, we can say goodbye to " Taz-like " behaviors once and for all-and

hello to an orderly house!

Desi

ps in court hearing, the tenant had no attorney and so HE had the opportunity to

question me after my testimony. His last question to me was-

" Are you a bitter old woman who is upset with the cosmos for giving you a child

with Down Syndrome and Autism and is taking it out on me? "

I could have thrown EVERYTHING in sight at him at that moment. Instead, I just

cried on the stand. (Until they walk our shoes, huh?!)

Thank God for recesses.

Subject: Re: throwing

To:

Date: Friday, November 21, 2008, 2:26 PM

Hi ,

My 4 1/2 yr old son's goal at pre-school is to " reduce his throwing " -

I like the honesty of it because it admits that he really throws a lot

and likely won't get down to no throwing in the near future. At first

his pre-school teachers would say " stop " and then he had to help clean

up all the puzzle pieces etc, but he likes to clean up. Lately though

his throwing was reduced after his OT suggested starting a " sensory

diet " so now they turn out the lights in one corner of the room and he

has a couch there inside a little tent and its all sort of hidden

behind a bookshelf and he can take a book (somehtnig he likes a lot)

and go inside and a teacher goes in and reads to him, also they put a

netted sort of ball play area in another corner which gives him nice

sensory input. They also duct tape down the boxes of small throwables

like lego (it slows him down so they can get there before the box is

thrown). so since they rearragned the room he seems less overwhelmed

and less frustrated and he throws a bit less. The teachers also

started taking him out of the room for 15 minutes every hour or so and

he goes to a quiet little room with nothing on the walls and they take

one toy and teach him how to play with it. They are much more patient

than I am!

Did I mention how great his teachers are?

I have to say that at home we just have to remove anything we don't

want thrown. Leaving something on the couch or coffee table is asking

for trouble. And we just don't go to restaurants with him much at all.

Hope this is helpful,

>

> Hi all,

> now this might sound like a really stipid question, but I'd be grateful

> for any ideas.

> Do any of you have problems with your children throwing things? At home

> we're used to Rebekah hurling and smashing anything she can get hold

> of. Today we went out to a quiet family pub, no crowds or noise and

> plenty of food(Rebekah' s favourite hobby) usually we don't have too

> many problems but today was horrendous. We cleared the table(as usual)

> of anything within her reach, but her speed meant she still managed to

> spill 2 drinks and throw 2 plates-even with my husband and I holding

> one of her hands each! Also she has begun spitting at people- a habit

> which has just developed out of the blue.

> Any ideas on what has started to cause these problems or how to tackle

> them would be gratefully received. Rebekah has only just received a

> diagnosis after a 3 and a half year battle so I am new to a lot of

> typical problems and possible solutions.

> -mum to Rebekah 7 DS/ASDand Leah 8

>

November 26, 2008

Sorry group, been away for awhile and just reading posts. Noah was in the

hospital for a round of iv antibiotics. Everything ok so far. I was reading

these posts about throwing and that is my Noah. One of our friends lovingly

calls him Taz, so it was funny that it was mentioned. As far as that tenant,

WHAT A JERK!!! Leilani

________________________________

To:

Sent: Saturday, November 22, 2008 8:09:50 AM

Subject: Re: Re: throwing-frustration?