Re: Has anyones marriage failed due to lack of compassion, assistance from partner?

[Guest guest]

Hi Tammy,

I am I guess the mirror image of you.

CMT kept me effectively out of the dating and marriage market, starting at

puberty.

Younger women are looking in dating for the father of their children, if they

know it or not. They could see from across the room that i did not have to genes

for healthy children, and even now on dating sites, women under 35 are

universally uninterested once they find out about the medical problems.

Kindness, compassion and empathy and adaptability are the main qualities I am

looking for in a partner or spouse, and I do know what it is like to not have

these things close at hand, such as most, if not all of my age cohort and

friends do right now, with their wives and young children.

It is hard to get a date with a woman under 40 or who has not yet had children.

I started making changes in my life about 2 years ago, and things have been

getting better in tat dates are easier to come by, but making them into second

and third etc dates is very difficult.

I understand that men leave women who become ill more often than women leave men

who become ill.

Just as difficult here, although I don't have any children to take care of, this

is true.

On Sep 23, 2010, at 10:35 AM, Tammy wrote:

> Married too young to the wrong person.

> Time did not correct this situation as you might imagine.

> Created a family without knowledge of having CMT (late diagnosis)

> Two daughters affected also.

> Need to change my situation and just feel overwhelmed .

> Hard enough to get going in the morning without reconstructing

> a new life.

> But cannot live in a situation missing compassion and kindness.

> If anyone has walked a mile in these shoes I would love to hear from you.

> Especially the part after you took the effort and made the change

> Thanks

> Tammy

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Three times ........not a good thing! You will make it..don't rebound like I

did.

Geri

[Guest guest]

Tammy,

Have faith! Over 50% of marriages without an underlying health condition like

CMT - I read your email and thought what if ...... Instead of it taking even

more energy to reconstruct your life it takes less energy? I had more pain and

less energy married! I took 4 Ultram a day back in 2000. Today none! I live

mostly pain free from my neuropathy! Image that? the end of your marriage is

the beginning of a new path. I would have remained married at almost any

cost.....thankfully I found my Heath improved! Life is funny very few sure

things great or horriable! Good luck

Kim

[Guest guest]

Tammy,

My heart goes out to you. I left a marriage five years ago with few immediate

financial resources and two teenagers because I couldn't go on living in a

toxic environment. It hasn't been easy, but I have not regretted my choice for a

second. I'd be happy to talk with you off-list if you'd like. My email address

is lynnanicholas@.... You do have options and I send prayers that you

find the best one.

Lynna

From: tammyrandall@...

Date: Thu, 23 Sep 2010 17:35:46 +0000

Subject: Has anyones marriage failed due to lack of compassion,

assistance from partner?

Married too young to the wrong person.

Time did not correct this situation as you might imagine.

Created a family without knowledge of having CMT (late diagnosis)

Two daughters affected also.

Need to change my situation and just feel overwhelmed .

Hard enough to get going in the morning without reconstructing

a new life.

But cannot live in a situation missing compassion and kindness.

If anyone has walked a mile in these shoes I would love to hear from you.

Especially the part after you took the effort and made the change

Thanks

Tammy