Dating/Dances/Telling about CMT

[Guest guest]

Jackie,

Thanks for sharing that. Because of CMT, I have found dances and dancing to be

perfectly miserable experiences, mostly because the girl/woman always said no. I

always assumed that the CMT was the controlling factor, and I assumed that if

she did not want to dance, she certainly did not want to talk.

Further, I knew there would be balance problems, and that she would need to keep

us from falling on the dance floor. Its one thing for a woman to expect the man

to be able to hold/support her while dancing, but it is another for a man to

expect the same from a woman. She may be incapable due to sheer size/weight

considerations, but this arrangement doesn't make a man feel terribly masculine.

The biggest dating issue I have, is when do I tell her I have CMT.

Online dating, where most of my leads come from, has the effect of turning the

meeting process inside out: You are supposed to SEE a person first, experience

his or her affect and vibe, thus being able to notice things like reasonably

obvious signs of having a physical problem, and to interact, no matter for how

long, all in order to find out IF learning more about this person of interest.

Online, one learns a whole lot of things, which on-screen in email and pics look

great.

But then you have the question, do I tell her as part of pre- first meeting

communication? Do I say something on the first meeting. Should I share only if

she asks? Should I tell her in post-first meeting communication.

It's becoming a very difficult problem.

On Dec 9, 2010, at 2:03 PM, Jackie Sachs wrote:

>

>

>

>

> usually when someone asked me to dance and they would not just take no thanks

for an answer, i was annoyed already! I never understood why someone feels ok to

ask you to dance but does not pursue just trying to talk to you.

>

> BUT, if they show they don't care about the awkwardness of dancing with me and

i felt confident in them protecting me on the dance floor, then that was a BIG

PLUS for them. My husband is great at taking me out on the dance floor and

noticing when i am getting over tired. He also is good and keeping other

rambuncious dancers away from me. The best pick up's that worked for me was

anything that did not have to address the CMT!

>

> Jackie