Anger

[Guest guest]

eric I have anger against the world for its ignorence against lyme.

The Drs just add fuel. EX: I have Babisios and the other co-

infections my regular DR who I use for cold saw my tests results the

elisa for lyme said negative she said " you don't have Lyme it says

right here " you know rage is part of the Lyme attacking the brain. So

relax anyway you can and one day maybe they will see the truth.

> in the past I have posted and because of my anger towards not only

> lyme but the arrogence of doctors,i have come across as bieng

> insensitive and

> trying to claim my view of things above everyone else as I am the

god

> who knows everything about lyme.well I have to say that we are all

in

> the same boat and opinions will vary, but what matters most is

> everyone stick together and to find a way of coming to terms with

lyme

> and trying to find a cure. and for most of us we have a long way to

go

> to mend our minds and bodys. if somento works then ill try it but I

> wont bash people for trying to find relief and sharing there

thoughts

> on this forum.I always thought that holistic meds were of no value

but

> im finding that in some situations it is. lets keep working with

each

> other without fighting for the sake of people will have a new life

> again and for some of us here its been a while.

> eric

> ps lyme effects make it so that we are not able to really control

how

> we respond to some posts and we need to stop ourselves and stay on

> track without veering off into anger.

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone

Well it has been 16 1/2 months now,sense I tested positive for lyme & rocky mt

spotted fever, It has been a tough one to this point. But one thing I found out

is; Don't tell God how big your storm is, " Tell the storm how big your God is;

Keep me in prayer as i keep you all in prayer, seems no one really understands

how we feel and where were at with this sickness, but our Father does,that is

why were still here.

God Bless You All

[Guest guest]

Could not have said it better myself!! Amen!

> Hello everyone

> Well it has been 16 1/2 months now,sense I tested positive for

lyme & rocky mt spotted fever, It has been a tough one to this

point. But one thing I found out is; Don't tell God how big your

storm is, " Tell the storm how big your God is;

> Keep me in prayer as i keep you all in prayer, seems no one really

understands how we feel and where were at with this sickness, but

our Father does,that is why were still here.

> God Bless You All

[Guest guest]

VERY FUNNY.........

........Count YOUR Blessings!

For all we know, our blessings are not the fruits of our prayers alone,

but those of another praying for us.

And.....

The task ahead of us is never as great as the power behind us.

My success is measured by my willingness to keep trying. "

- Anon.

Marguerite...

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone ... I don't post that often and am rather newly diagnosed with

RA (but have suffered for several years). I read your posts and just want to

tell you that I am inspired by each of you! What a wonderful community this

is! I so admire the courage, the knowledge and the inspiration found here.

I just wanted to weigh in on the anger and outburst stuff. For me, I am

generally much more sad about this condition rather than angry. Sometimes I

just get so fatigued and overwhelmed -- like the other night when my daughter

told me we were out of cat litter and I had to go back out to get some for our

cat. Grrrrrr. I felt the flash of anger as I was so looking forward to

getting comfortable and settled in for the evening! Then horror among horrors,

I

felt my eyes well up with tears! What the heck??!! All this because I needed

to get in the car and run less than 2 miles up the road to get cat litter!

This is NOT who I am!

I do a lot of personal development work and one of the things that I am

working on now is recognizing and naming the anger when it shows up. As a person

who has a biz professionally in the people-helping business, as I see many

others are here, we tend to deny our own pain, needs, anger, etc.

Anyhow, once I pinpoint the anger, I have been working with a distinction

that has helped me and it may help some of you too. When I feel the anger, I

can consciously choose to continue to be angry or I can choose to be

compassionate. When I am angry, I have NO CONTROL over the feelings or what is

happening. I am just REACTIVE. However, when I CHOOSE to be compassionate

(toward

others, myself, my body, God, etc.) instead of angry, that is something I am

controlling. It is a chosen RESPONSE and it feels much better to me to have

more control over my situation, even if it is just a little bit.

Please understand that like everyone here, I am most definitely a work in

progress and I certainly have not had some of the experiences that others have,

however, this is just one small thing that may be helpful. Sometimes I am

good at it and frankly, sometimes I suck at it. But the other thing is, our

RA-riddled bodies are already angry and in pain -- perhaps when we show a

little more compassion and kindness to our bodies, they heal even in the

tiniest

ways.

This may sound too " woo-wooish " to some, but, for me, I certainly would

rather focus on the good and possibilities rather than be stuck and at war with

m

y body. You may want to try the technique and see how it works for you. At

the very least, it may help our blood pressures!!! :-)

Love and Prayers to all!

Beth

[Guest guest]

beth, very well said... i, too sometimes feel so tired and hurt so bad, that i

just can't handle it... i have had many talks with my husband and we are still

working out things... he helps me so much... i find that it is comunication that

helps the most.... i sometimes can't even get my gas cap off so i cna get gas...

grrrrr.. how embarrassing, i think... people look at ya like you are nuts

because you look ok...

well... off to read more e-mails..

rae

[ ] Re: Anger

Hi everyone ... I don't post that often and am rather newly diagnosed with

RA (but have suffered for several years). I read your posts and just want to

tell you that I am inspired by each of you! What a wonderful community this

is! I so admire the courage, the knowledge and the inspiration found here.

I just wanted to weigh in on the anger and outburst stuff. For me, I am

generally much more sad about this condition rather than angry. Sometimes I

just get so fatigued and overwhelmed -- like the other night when my daughter

told me we were out of cat litter and I had to go back out to get some for

our

cat. Grrrrrr. I felt the flash of anger as I was so looking forward to

getting comfortable and settled in for the evening! Then horror among

horrors, I

felt my eyes well up with tears! What the heck??!! All this because I needed

to get in the car and run less than 2 miles up the road to get cat litter!

This is NOT who I am!

I do a lot of personal development work and one of the things that I am

working on now is recognizing and naming the anger when it shows up. As a

person

who has a biz professionally in the people-helping business, as I see many

others are here, we tend to deny our own pain, needs, anger, etc.

Anyhow, once I pinpoint the anger, I have been working with a distinction

that has helped me and it may help some of you too. When I feel the anger, I

can consciously choose to continue to be angry or I can choose to be

compassionate. When I am angry, I have NO CONTROL over the feelings or what

is

happening. I am just REACTIVE. However, when I CHOOSE to be compassionate

(toward

others, myself, my body, God, etc.) instead of angry, that is something I am

controlling. It is a chosen RESPONSE and it feels much better to me to have

more control over my situation, even if it is just a little bit.

Please understand that like everyone here, I am most definitely a work in

progress and I certainly have not had some of the experiences that others

have,

however, this is just one small thing that may be helpful. Sometimes I am

good at it and frankly, sometimes I suck at it. But the other thing is, our

RA-riddled bodies are already angry and in pain -- perhaps when we show a

little more compassion and kindness to our bodies, they heal even in the

tiniest

ways.

This may sound too " woo-wooish " to some, but, for me, I certainly would

rather focus on the good and possibilities rather than be stuck and at war

with m

y body. You may want to try the technique and see how it works for you. At

the very least, it may help our blood pressures!!! :-)

Love and Prayers to all!

Beth

[Guest guest]

beth

thanks for posting your email..i am glad you wrote

it..i go from being angry to mad, to getting depressed

but i have realized that i still got to keep the house

going..i really dont have any family except my husband

and i have two teenagers..my son is a senior this year

and i have to keep going even tho their are times when

i want to just stay in bed and never get up...smile..

jan in alabama

--- Rae Sandberg <Raes_Yorkies@...> wrote:

> beth, very well said... i, too sometimes feel so

> tired and hurt so bad, that i just can't handle

> it... i have had many talks with my husband and we

> are still working out things... he helps me so

> much... i find that it is comunication that helps

> the most.... i sometimes can't even get my gas cap

> off so i cna get gas... grrrrr.. how embarrassing, i

> think... people look at ya like you are nuts because

> you look ok...

>

> well... off to read more e-mails..

>

> rae

>

>

> [ ] Re: Anger

>

>

> Hi everyone ... I don't post that often and am

> rather newly diagnosed with

> RA (but have suffered for several years). I read

> your posts and just want to

> tell you that I am inspired by each of you! What

> a wonderful community this

> is! I so admire the courage, the knowledge and

> the inspiration found here.

>

> I just wanted to weigh in on the anger and

> outburst stuff. For me, I am

> generally much more sad about this condition

> rather than angry. Sometimes I

> just get so fatigued and overwhelmed -- like the

> other night when my daughter

> told me we were out of cat litter and I had to go

> back out to get some for our

> cat. Grrrrrr. I felt the flash of anger as I was

> so looking forward to

> getting comfortable and settled in for the

> evening! Then horror among horrors, I

> felt my eyes well up with tears! What the

> heck??!! All this because I needed

> to get in the car and run less than 2 miles up

> the road to get cat litter!

> This is NOT who I am!

>

> I do a lot of personal development work and one of

> the things that I am

> working on now is recognizing and naming the anger

> when it shows up. As a person

> who has a biz professionally in the people-helping

> business, as I see many

> others are here, we tend to deny our own pain,

> needs, anger, etc.

>

> Anyhow, once I pinpoint the anger, I have been

> working with a distinction

> that has helped me and it may help some of you

> too. When I feel the anger, I

> can consciously choose to continue to be angry or

> I can choose to be

> compassionate. When I am angry, I have NO CONTROL

> over the feelings or what is

> happening. I am just REACTIVE. However, when I

> CHOOSE to be compassionate (toward

> others, myself, my body, God, etc.) instead of

> angry, that is something I am

> controlling. It is a chosen RESPONSE and it

> feels much better to me to have

> more control over my situation, even if it is

> just a little bit.

>

> Please understand that like everyone here, I am

> most definitely a work in

> progress and I certainly have not had some of the

> experiences that others have,

> however, this is just one small thing that may be

> helpful. Sometimes I am

> good at it and frankly, sometimes I suck at it.

> But the other thing is, our

> RA-riddled bodies are already angry and in pain --

> perhaps when we show a

> little more compassion and kindness to our bodies,

> they heal even in the tiniest

> ways.

>

> This may sound too " woo-wooish " to some, but, for

> me, I certainly would

> rather focus on the good and possibilities rather

> than be stuck and at war with m

> y body. You may want to try the technique and see

> how it works for you. At

> the very least, it may help our blood pressures!!!

> :-)

>

> Love and Prayers to all!

> Beth

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Rae and Jan for your comments on being overwhelmed. My husband is

great too -- very helpful and supportive. I like to tell him that everyday I

am giving him a chance to be a " hero. " Fortunately, most men like to feel

like heroes to their wives and so he does more than his share ... I am

grateful.

However, like you and probably most women (no disrespect intended to Larry

or househusbands), things still have to be done. I have teenagers 19, 17 and

15. I also try to keep up with the house, groceries, etc. In addition, I

am self employed and keep my business running in spite of the diagnosis of RA.

It's a LOT, even if one is completely healthy.

One thing I am learning is that sometimes it is just one MINUTE at a time.

The better I take care of myself, the more I can give to others, house,

business, etc.

Warmly,

Beth

[Guest guest]

nicely said, beth... i too am self employed and keep everyting up.. i also noe

have my sister to take care for the rest of our lives... mom passed away of lung

cancer, so shellie lives with us... she is 41 yrs and has cerebral palsy with

mild retardation.. she is great, she takes full care of her self.. but i still

have to make sure meds and everything are ok....

later, rae

[ ] Re: Anger

Thanks Rae and Jan for your comments on being overwhelmed. My husband is

great too -- very helpful and supportive. I like to tell him that everyday I

am giving him a chance to be a " hero. " Fortunately, most men like to feel

like heroes to their wives and so he does more than his share ... I am

grateful.

However, like you and probably most women (no disrespect intended to Larry

or househusbands), things still have to be done. I have teenagers 19, 17 and

15. I also try to keep up with the house, groceries, etc. In addition, I

am self employed and keep my business running in spite of the diagnosis of

RA.

It's a LOT, even if one is completely healthy.

One thing I am learning is that sometimes it is just one MINUTE at a time.

The better I take care of myself, the more I can give to others, house,

business, etc.

Warmly,

Beth

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/17/2005 3:37:35 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

writes:

nicely said, beth... i too am self employed and keep everyting up.. i also

noe have my sister to take care for the rest of our lives... mom passed away

of lung cancer, so shellie lives with us... she is 41 yrs and has cerebral

palsy with mild retardation.. she is great, she takes full care of her self..

but i still have to make sure meds and everything are ok....

Wow, Rae .. you sure do have your hands full. How fortunate your sister is

to have you and I imagine you probably feel fortunate to have her too. Just

remember to take good care of YOU!

Love and Prayers,

Beth

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Philippians 4:8 (The Message):

Friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on

things that are true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious -- the

best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things

to curse.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

[Guest guest]

Bonnie,

I know how you feel. Crystal age 9 has been a handful. With the anxiety

attacks she has over her cloths not being " just right " has put us (her and I) in

many a battle...especially when I NEED to go some place... I give her at least

an hour to get ready but sometimes that doesn't help... she has hit me and

bitten me so bad I have gotten very worn down...there have been times I have

locked myself in the bathroom crying just to get away from her... I do have one

good thing to say .... since being on Zoloft 50Mg for a month and a half those

rages have stopped!!! (her OCD ritual is still going strong but she doesn't get

as angary) I found when talking to a doctor use the word " rage " more than

tantrum, works better...in Crystals case it was a rage...she was completely out

of

control!!

Shirley

[Guest guest]

Hi Bonnie. I think this is a difficult question because, from what I am

learning, it depends on whether the tantrums are the result of anxiety or just

being " bratty. " Do you know what the tantrums stem from? Kim

In a message dated 8/23/2005 10:07:34 AM Central Standard Time,

rnmomo2@... writes:

Just wondered ... how do all of you handle the tantrums and anger? I

am getting worn down.

Bonnie

[Guest guest]

Hi Bonnie, I don't think I have an answer for that. I deal with my son's on a

daily basis, you never know what is going to send him into a rage. Some days

I can calm him down, then there are others, like last Thursday, where he is

totally out of control, violent, etc. It is hard, but I generally get my

" vent/breakdown " time once he is worn out and in bad. I am also on Paxil CR to

help

my moods while dealing with all this.

Hugs to you!

Shamra

[Guest guest]

Thanks, I'll try that word. My son seems to have reverted back to

toddlerhod. His tantrums are usually about him not getting his way.

He is a lot bigger and stronger than when he was a toddler and that is

the tough part.

Bonnie

> Bonnie,

> I know how you feel. Crystal age 9 has been a handful. With the anxiety

> attacks she has over her cloths not being " just right " has put us

(her and I) in

> many a battle...especially when I NEED to go some place... I give

her at least

> an hour to get ready but sometimes that doesn't help... she has hit

me and

> bitten me so bad I have gotten very worn down...there have been

times I have

> locked myself in the bathroom crying just to get away from her... I

do have one

> good thing to say .... since being on Zoloft 50Mg for a month and a

half those

> rages have stopped!!! (her OCD ritual is still going strong but she

doesn't get

> as angary) I found when talking to a doctor use the word " rage " more

than

> tantrum, works better...in Crystals case it was a rage...she was

completely out of

> control!!

> Shirley

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I love hearing this method put into words - I've always seen it as an

expression of my huge respect for my child and my adoration.... it's

been an especially big help to me at times when work/school/illness

are making endless demands on my time and my nerves and it seems that

the only time I pay attention to my son is if he's

whining/yelling/acting bad.

My response to the spitting in the face in anger is - I see it as an

excellent opportunity to show her EXACTLY how a person is expected to

act when they are " spitting mad " ....because that's how mad I'd be if

my son did this to me!!!.....Show her how a person stands, what they

do with their body, what they do with the tension, what their face

looks like, their tone of voice, their choice of words, how they walk

away and disengage from the situation if there seems no end to the

anger.

And an excellent chance to show how a person apologizes later after

cooling down - discusses the incident in a neutral way to learn from

it.

The doctors at the hospital were this was taught used much of the

method in the " Defiant Child " (1977, Guilford Press). The emphasis is

on changing

> our behaviour towards our children and in turn their behaviour

changes. The doctors put a lot of importance on " step 2 " in this

book. I believe it is the _Key_. If you could find this book I'm sure

it would help more than I can briefly explain here.

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/12/2005 10:47:21 PM Eastern Standard Time,

writes:

One other thing I was wondering-- does

this make you really CRANKY? I find myself saying things to people that

I normally would keep to myself, and flying off the handle.

HELLO, there is a symptom called LYME RAGE..... I was shocked to find

myself with this, I would get so mad I was like a nutcase.... since getting on

meds, I am my calm self again.... not much ever made me angry, until the lyme

made me so sick, I was afraid i was going to lose control of my actions

totally that is how scary it can be.... and those around me did not like me

much

anymore, as u say i was mean and cranky etc..... i think it was the

bacteria irritating the nervous system as well as I had a lot of head and skull

and

neck symptoms, my head was always swollen, so I think pressure on the brain

does it too.... and how can u be nice when u live in pain and with headaches

etc etc.... so u r not alone with that symptom. Best to u, c in vt

[Guest guest]

> One other thing I was wondering-- does

> this make you really CRANKY? I find myself saying things to people that

> I normally would keep to myself, and flying off the handle.

>

>

> HELLO, there is a symptom called LYME RAGE.....

Oh I know! LOL I used to be SO bad, then I learned what it was ( post dx)

and now I am the opposite, trying SO hard to be even keeled that I wont say

anything. Well, unless its to some Stupid ignorant dumba*** LOL

[Guest guest]

Wow..this only confirms my need to just keep my thoughts and opinions to my

self! I never think that what I am saying comes across as harsh--but aparantly

it does to toehr people. Just last week I shared some concerns with my son's

youth pastor about some careless things he was saying in front of the kids

(being irresponsible in my opinion) and I explained how it made my son concerned

that he had let the youth pastor down and dissapointed him.

Well after I wrote and shared my concerns with the pastor, he wrote me back

apologizing for stressing my son out and then told me he had just turned in his

resignation letter to the senior pastor! UGH!! Now my husband, who is also on

our church staff, came to me and ask " WHAT did you say to him!!??!! " ...I was

quite thankful I had saved the email because I did not feel it was angry or

harsh--just matter of fact and asking him to be careful with what he says in

front of the kids...

The group consensus was that I should have said it in fewer words (but I am

female...can that happen? LOL!!)...but aparantly the poor man felt I shredded

him to pieces--and he did not withdraw his resignation either.....

So there is something to it ---this general irritation I get with people who do

stupid things??!!??

Wow, now I have to be VERY aware of what I say-- but being thay lyme also

causes " forgetfulness " maybe one day (when really needed) I can " forget " and

just " let 'er rip! "

Stupid people really irritate me.

LOL

Dawn

> One other thing I was wondering-- does

> this make you really CRANKY? I find myself saying things to people that

> I normally would keep to myself, and flying off the handle.

>

>

> HELLO, there is a symptom called LYME RAGE.....

[Guest guest]

Dang Dawn.....It sounds like that guy was on his way out long before you said

anything. Is it possible he is not meant to work with youth and you being

discerning just caught on?

Dawn Irons <gratefulwife2brad@...> wrote:Wow..this only confirms my

need to just keep my thoughts and opinions to my self! I never think that what

I am saying comes across as harsh--but aparantly it does to toehr people. Just

last week I shared some concerns with my son's youth pastor about some careless

things he was saying in front of the kids (being irresponsible in my opinion)

and I explained how it made my son concerned that he had let the youth pastor

down and dissapointed him.

Well after I wrote and shared my concerns with the pastor, he wrote me back

apologizing for stressing my son out and then told me he had just turned in his

resignation letter to the senior pastor! UGH!! Now my husband, who is also on

our church staff, came to me and ask " WHAT did you say to him!!??!! " ...I was

quite thankful I had saved the email because I did not feel it was angry or

harsh--just matter of fact and asking him to be careful with what he says in

front of the kids...

The group consensus was that I should have said it in fewer words (but I am

female...can that happen? LOL!!)...but aparantly the poor man felt I shredded

him to pieces--and he did not withdraw his resignation either.....

So there is something to it ---this general irritation I get with people who do

stupid things??!!??

Wow, now I have to be VERY aware of what I say-- but being thay lyme also

causes " forgetfulness " maybe one day (when really needed) I can " forget " and

just " let 'er rip! "

Stupid people really irritate me.

LOL

Dawn

[Guest guest]

hey everyone

i have been told that i went 28 years misdiagnosed.i want everyone to know that

pain and anger were my 2 biggest symptoms for many years.i remeber people saying

things like " oh,that's just beth.she is a worry wart " about 5 years ago i was

nicknamed " the terminator " at work.lol any time the department managers had an

employee they didnt trust,like or get along with they would get them transfered

to my department knowing i wouldnt stand for thier actions and would soon have

them termanated.lol i can laugh now but at the time i was scared to death.i

could see that my reactions werent normal.i used to say ...either pull up your

socks and get busy or go the hell home!!noone could work fast enough or good

enough for me.all it did was get me working alone alot,to do the work of 3.i

control alot of my anger now with the welbutrin but...i stay home alot now.i

can't trust myself to react properly to a situation so...i just try to avoid

situation's.it's no way to live.i am lonely but fear hurting my friends

feelings.I see these same traits in my baby brother but his wife and he are in

the non -believer camp.He has lost 3 jobs in 1 year!!all from anger and

inability to work with others.it is my assumption this is all from the brain

infection and that the infection accured in the brain after having gone

undiagnosed so long.i have read it can go to the brain with in a few days in

those whom are weakend immune already or under great stress.I also read that

with each relapse of infection or any other new infection the brain barrier is

opened for a short period of time allowing the bacteria to enter the brain where

antibodies from our immune system cannot reach it.in other words each time we

are sick from any infection or virus our immune system is pulled towards that

and allows the brain barrier to open up allowing bacteria to enter the brain

area then after immune settles the barrier is closed again trapping and

allowing the bacteria to live in the brain.being a slow growing bacteria the

symptoms can come on gradually.thats just my take on it thou.i feel eevrytime i

get stressed or ill I cause more brain damage.I am less and less able to handle

stress and comprehend instructions .I was told by llmd and md that i have brain

tissue damage from the infection.

--- Dawn Irons <gratefulwife2brad@...> wrote:

From: Dawn Irons <gratefulwife2brad@...>

Date: Sun, 13 Nov 2005 06:46:04 -0800 (PST)

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: anger

Wow..this only confirms my need to just keep my thoughts and

opinions to my self! I never think that what I am saying comes

across as harsh--but aparantly it does to toehr people. Just

last week I shared some concerns with my son's youth pastor

about some careless things he was saying in front of the kids

(being irresponsible in my opinion) and I explained how it made

my son concerned that he had let the youth pastor down and

dissapointed him.

Well after I wrote and shared my concerns with the pastor, he

wrote me back apologizing for stressing my son out and then

told me he had just turned in his resignation letter to the

senior pastor! UGH!! Now my husband, who is also on our

church staff, came to me and ask " WHAT did you say to

him!!??!! " ...I was quite thankful I had saved the email because

I did not feel it was angry or harsh--just matter of fact and

asking him to be careful with what he says in front of the

kids...

The group consensus was that I should have said it in fewer

words (but I am female...can that happen? LOL!!)...but

aparantly the poor man felt I shredded him to pieces--and he

did not withdraw his resignation either.....

So there is something to it ---this general irritation I get

with people who do stupid things??!!??

Wow, now I have to be VERY aware of what I say-- but being

thay lyme also causes " forgetfulness " maybe one day (when

really needed) I can " forget " and just " let 'er rip! "

Stupid people really irritate me.

LOL

Dawn

> One other thing I was wondering-- does

> this make you really CRANKY? I find myself saying things to

people that

> I normally would keep to myself, and flying off the handle.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/15/2005 3:58:07 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

elizabethtbd@... writes:

hey everyone

I have been told that I went 28 years misdiagnosed.i want everyone to know

that pain and anger were my 2 biggest symptoms for many years.i remember

people saying things like " oh,that's just beth.she is a worry wart " about 5

years

ago I was nicknamed " the terminator " at work.lol any time the department

managers had an employee they didn't trust,like or get along with they would

get

them transferred to my department knowing I wouldn't stand for their actions

and would soon have them termanated.lol I can laugh now but at the time I was

scared to death.i could see that my reactions weren't normal.i used to say

....either pull up your socks and get busy or go the hell home!!no one could

work fast enough or good enough for me.all it did was get me working alone a

lot,to do the work of 3.i control a lot of my anger now with the welbutrin

but...I stay home a lot now.i can't trust myself to react properly to a

situation

so...I just try to avoid situation's.it's no way to live.i am lonely but fear

hurting my friends feelings.I see these same traits in my baby brother but

his wife and he are in the non -believer camp.He has lost 3 jobs in 1

year!!all from anger and inability to work with others.it is my assumption this

is

all from the brain infection and that the infection occurred in the brain after

having gone undiagnosed so long.i have read it can go to the brain with in a

few days in those whom are weakened immune already or under great stress.I

also read that with each relapse of infection or any other new infection the

brain barrier is opened for a short period of time allowing the bacteria to

enter the brain where antibodies from our immune system cannot reach it.in

other words each time we are sick from any infection or virus our immune system

is pulled towards that and allows the brain barrier to open up allowing

bacteria to enter the brain area then after immune settles the barrier is

closed

again trapping and allowing the bacteria to live in the brain.being a slow

growing bacteria the symptoms can come on gradually.thats just my take on it

thou.i feel every time I get stressed or ill I cause more brain damage.I am

less

and less able to handle stress and comprehend instructions .I was told by

llmd and md that I have brain tissue damage from the infection.

--- Dawn Irons <gratefulwife2brad@...> wrote:

THE THING THAT I FIND BOTH INTERESTING AND FRIGHTENING IS THAT THIS SYMPTOM

IS PREVELANT IN WHAT MANY LLMDS REFER TO AS THE COUSIN OF LYME, SYPHILYSS

(SP?) THIS ANGER THING. I HAVE NOTICED OVER THE LAST FEW YEARS THAT I AM SO

MUCH

MORE INTOLLERANT OF THINGS THAT NEVER WOULD HAVE BOTHERED ME BEFORE ....JUST

INTERESTING AND YES ...SCARY ...

[Guest guest]

:

Yes, you know you can always come here, to people who

truly do understand how it is. This is our safe

place, our place that we can let out how we are really

feeling without having someone else make us feel like

we are just whining wimps who need to get on with it.

If they only knew how much we wish we could.

It does get to you when all you here is, yes I have

that too! my knee, shoulder, neck, (insert body part)

hurts too, but, you know, I just take an Aleve (insert

any other mild pain reliever) and the pain just

disappears! You should really try that! Yeah, Aleve

is like a sugar pill to me, my friend. You don't get

it!!!!!! and they probably never will.

You have done all you can by giving them the letter,

if they don't get it from that, they just don't want

to get it. I know my family wishes I did not have

these diseases, but they, after 7 years, do understand

what I am going through, at last. It takes time, it

takes years, for some to get it, and some just don't.

Just know that we are here - we have felt the exact

same way you are feeling now - and we truly do (in the

words of bill clinton) feel your pain. Have you

talked to your doctor about your depression? I have

been on anti-depressants since about 2 years into my

RA journey (now having been joined by OA and Fibro),

and it has really helped, not only with sleep and

pain, but just being able to cope with all that we

have to physically and emotionally. Not to say it

will help you, but just a thought. But tell your

doctor about your feelings of depression, okay?

Hang in there, my friend, and hope today is a better

day -

Kathe in CA

--- eandsspivey <espivey@...> wrote:

> I've been very depressed this week and just about at

> my wits end.

> Thank God, it hit me this morning where it is coming

> from! I am so

> angry! I am so tired of hearing " i know how you

> feel " and " get up and

> do something " . I have the letter to normals which

> I've given to

> everyone in my life, but they still don't

> understand. It's to the

> point that I have no one to talk to because they all

> " understand what

> I'm going through " . No they don't! They don't know

> how it feels to

> hurt literally every time you move. They don't know

> how it is to never

> sleep more than 2 hours because you hurt. They

> don't know how it feels

> to not be able to do what you want because it hurts

> too bad or will

> cause you to hurt too bad tomorrow! They don't know

> how it is to wake

> up every day to face another infection, fever, rash,

> or pain. They

> just don't know!

> I am so glad I have all of you, I really needed to

> say this to

> someone. Someone that really knows.

>

>

>

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

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[Guest guest]

Oh Beth! How I wish I had magic and answers! I've been riding this pony

for going on 8 years now. I have 2 boys, ages 7 and 9. I go with the 'I do not

have time for this stuff' attitude. Regardless of how I am feeling, bottom line

is the boy's do not care and should not care. Call me crazy. I still get up,

make breakfast, get them to school, do the mommy thing, etc. I have given in on

the running around and tackling deal in the back yard. I sit in a lawn chair

and supervise now. I get furious when I allow myself to think about it all.

Made a deeper Depression. I see a counselor about every 3-4 months and sceam

about it. I have taught them to not grap my hands- HURTS! And for them to try

to be soft-soft with me. My husband takes more of the brunt than the kids. I

give all to them and then shut down when they go to bed. We barely talk, much

less anything else (hint hint). These past 3 years, espicially after some

bummer side effects with other meds and refusing meds., I have had to start

trying meds. that might keep me going. Long term side effects, I do not allow

myself to dwell on. I take it all 5 minutes at a time. Keep pushing your Dr.

to try you on stuff that may not side line you. So far, the Enbrel has helped

with the swelling for me. A lot of other stuff did not. Do not be afraid of

pain meds. They are your friend. If needed, I'll just go the Rehab later, I

think of that as a vacation maybe? Do not deny or put off when your stuff is

acting up, because the sooner you nip it, the faster you are up and okay.

Ignoring it, just makes it worse and makes you more tired and mean. I have a

lady I know that was recently diagnosed and she and her Dr. went straight to the

Humaria. She is an aerobics teacher and very physically active and works a lot.

So far, she has not slowed down one bit. Maybe, instead of fighting with this,

grab anything that you can that can keep you life the same or better. Please do

not give up or put it off. Your kids really do need you and love you. Hang in

there! - D. in south Louisiana

>

>

> Hi All, I am just wondering if anyone else has had problems with anger

> during the time they've had RA. I was just diagnosed in February (and

> am going to see another doctor for a second opinion on 6/18) but I have

> been so angry and frustrated since then. I suspect that I truly do have

> RA but on the other hand I really don't know (hope the new Dr. can

> help). I read all of your posts about this drug and that drug and feel

> nothing but hopeless and helpless and wanting to cry. My husband has

> been very supportive but I fear my children (ages 4 and 2) do not

> understand the pain I am going through and they sometimes bear the brunt

> of my temper. I do not want to slow down my life for what seems like

> such a stupid disease. I fight with myself about how to be hopeful and

> refuse to slow down and how to be willing to accept treatment (which may

> or may not work and in the meantime causes all kinds of side effects).

> Any advice is appreciated.

>

> Beth (San Diego, CA)

>

[Guest guest]

beth,

I understand how you feel. I have a 4 and soon 6 years old and have had RA

since 2006. I hate the fact that I can't do the things I used to for them.

Like get on the floor and play games with them. I have learned to adapt. I

also to get the anger issues from it all and started taking lamictal to help

with it. I still have issues with it from time to time but I have learned to

control and except my fate.

in maryland

[ ] Anger

Hi All, I am just wondering if anyone else has had problems with anger

during the time they've had RA. I was just diagnosed in February (and

am going to see another doctor for a second opinion on 6/18) but I have

been so angry and frustrated since then. I suspect that I truly do have

RA but on the other hand I really don't know (hope the new Dr. can

help). I read all of your posts about this drug and that drug and feel

nothing but hopeless and helpless and wanting to cry. My husband has

been very supportive but I fear my children (ages 4 and 2) do not

understand the pain I am going through and they sometimes bear the brunt

of my temper. I do not want to slow down my life for what seems like

such a stupid disease. I fight with myself about how to be hopeful and

refuse to slow down and how to be willing to accept treatment (which may

or may not work and in the meantime causes all kinds of side effects).

Any advice is appreciated.

Beth (San Diego, CA)

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[Guest guest]

Beth, I am wondering how to respond to your post. RA is an egregious,

insidious disease. Yet it also can go into remission or you can have a

remitting course of disease that waxes and wanes. I used to have that kind in

my 20's then when I was about 33 it came on like a bulldozer and hasn't left

since. I've been in active, severe status for 13 years and it has taken its

toll on my body. It's good that you're getting a second opinion~ I did as well.

If for no other reason than to solidify the diagnosis for yourself. You will run

a gamut of emotions you won't believe possible. Just allow yourself to feel it

that's all you can do. If you need meds for anxiety or depression (which you

will undoubtedly feel at times) ask for them. If you are in more pain than

usual ask for help. It is a confusing disease, you will hurt just about

everywhere at any given time so it's hard to define adding to the frustation.

Most people are on disability within five years of diagnosis and that was

exactly my case. I guess I don't want to sugarcoat it~ I wish someone had said

to me " its going to be hard, very hard- you need to prepare. " But you will

learn to make room for it in your life~ you will have no choice. You will learn

to have a new perspective on what's important in life. You will learn a lot and

no, it won't be all bad heehee I wish you much good will in your fight ahead.

We will be here if you need to vent, etc... Even though I'm new to this board I

hope we can be friends too. Feel free to e-mail me offline. I hope I haven't

scared you that is not my intent I just wish someone had been honest with me in

the beginning about the possibilities. Good luck, MicheleBB

>

>

> Hi All, I am just wondering if anyone else has had problems with anger

> during the time they've had RA. I was just diagnosed in February (and

> am going to see another doctor for a second opinion on 6/18) but I have

> been so angry and frustrated since then. I suspect that I truly do have

> RA but on the other hand I really don't know (hope the new Dr. can

> help). I read all of your posts about this drug and that drug and feel

> nothing but hopeless and helpless and wanting to cry. My husband has

> been very supportive but I fear my children (ages 4 and 2) do not

> understand the pain I am going through and they sometimes bear the brunt

> of my temper. I do not want to slow down my life for what seems like

> such a stupid disease. I fight with myself about how to be hopeful and

> refuse to slow down and how to be willing to accept treatment (which may

> or may not work and in the meantime causes all kinds of side effects).

> Any advice is appreciated.

>

> Beth (San Diego, CA)

>