Your personal support group.

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

Hope your day is good and pain level is under control. I got this

idea in the middle of the night. Ya, sleepless....again.

How is your family & friends coping with your RA ?? Seems I hear a

lot that friends fade. Spouses and kids don't really understand why

you don't get better or why are you always so tired, etc, etc.

It seems we humans are visual to a fault. If we don't see it....it's

not there. If I don't feel it, then it must be in your head.

I could ramble on, but you get my drift.

With RA...you must come first. Be stress free as much as possible, RA

loves stress.

Bye Bye,

[Guest guest]

, I definitely get your drift. Most of my friends have

disappeared, they're too busy with work and families, and since I

can't participate in the activities we used to share I just don't hear

from them anymore. My family is much better, except for my oldest

son. I have to tell the younger ones (26 and 21) to back off, they

have their own lives to live. They'd hover constantly if I'd let

them. My hubby is the same way. I've had a couple of close calls, an

auto accident and a couple of tumors, and he realized that he might

lose me. Now my older one, he seems to think I'm just trying to get

sympathy. He does have his own problems, twins 17 months old and

another baby due in a couple of weeks . . . and trying to make ends

meet on a teacher's salary.

My sister, who also has RA, has become my confidant. We talk on the

phone for hours, and try to get together 2-3 times a year. Wish we

lived closer.

We all need some support, and an understanding ear. This group is

wonderful, you know that you're not alone.

Hope you're having a good day!

On 5/31/06, <merk@...> wrote:

> Hi All,

> Hope your day is good and pain level is under control. I got this

> idea in the middle of the night. Ya, sleepless....again.

>

> How is your family & friends coping with your RA ?? Seems I hear a

> lot that friends fade. Spouses and kids don't really understand why

> you don't get better or why are you always so tired, etc, etc.

>

> It seems we humans are visual to a fault. If we don't see it....it's

> not there. If I don't feel it, then it must be in your head.

> I could ramble on, but you get my drift.

>

> With RA...you must come first. Be stress free as much as possible, RA

> loves stress.

>

> Bye Bye,

>

>

>

--

South Pasadena, CA

See my galleries! - http://www.pbase.com/arenared986

[Guest guest]

>

> Hi All,

> Hope your day is good and pain level is under control. I got this

> idea in the middle of the night. Ya, sleepless....again.

>

> How is your family & friends coping with your RA ?? Seems I hear a

> lot that friends fade. Spouses and kids don't really understand why

> you don't get better or why are you always so tired, etc, etc.

>

> It seems we humans are visual to a fault. If we don't see it....it's

> not there. If I don't feel it, then it must be in your head.

> I could ramble on, but you get my drift.

>

> With RA...you must come first. Be stress free as much as possible, RA

> loves stress.

>

> Bye Bye,

>

>

you are right RA loves STRESS and I have that now. anyway My family

does not understand much, sometimes I think it is all in my head and

sometimes if wonder my self. It like one day I have pain in one place

and the next day it is some place else. I just get so tired of saying I

hurt and I know that they are tired of hearing it too.

take care Janet IN IL

[Guest guest]

Hi :

Yep, I hear you. Well, after 8 years with this stuff,

my family is finally getting it, kind of! My husband

is generally very good at helping me out, but still

gets on my case from time to time over the house mess.

I take one room at a time, and then by the time I am

done with the whole house, whatever is behind me is

messy again lol.

My friends have stuck with me, I have two close

friends, and I talk to them often, go out at least

once a week with my hubby and my best friend and her

hubby, and go riding with my best friend as much as my

body allows. It is hard, though, because a lot of the

time, if I am down or in pain, I just kind of

hibernate in my house here, and let the world go away

for a while.

My son, 22, is supportive in his own lacksidaisical

way, but most often he does not do much around the

house to help me. He will carry the chicken feed and

horse feed to the barns for me, so that is one help.

I just wish he would remember to take out the trash,

etc,. He works full time as a para-educator with

autistic children, so I know he is tired from that,

but I wish he would chip in a little more (no pun

intended - his name is " chip " lol).

My daughter is my biggest help and biggest supporter.

She will help with cleaning and taking care of the

horses when I need it. She takes care of dinners when

I cannot, she drives me places I need to go, and does

the grocery shopping with me. She is 19. She is very

much mom's girl, and will help do what she can.

I think you said it very well, we are a very visual

species. What we don't see, we don't believe much of

the time. I never understood before what those people

who looked normal were doing in the handicapped spots,

but now I sure do. My kids have benefitted from my

being down with RA and fibro, and have seen what

disease can do, even when you can't see it, and we

look normal, and they are more accepting of people,

and not as apt to make judgements based on appearance.

I just wish more people would be like that.

Take care - Kathe in CA

>

>

> How is your family & friends coping with your RA ??

> Seems I hear a

> lot that friends fade. Spouses and kids don't really

> understand why

> you don't get better or why are you always so tired,

> etc, etc.

>

> It seems we humans are visual to a fault. If we

> don't see it....it's

> not there. If I don't feel it, then it must be in

> your head.

> I could ramble on, but you get my drift.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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