Re: Worlds worst compliment

[Guest guest]

That is great, Donna. Though my brother is an adult, I will use it too. He really is beautiful -- a totally unbiased opinion!Irene's sister To: Sent: Thursday, April 12, 2012 7:28 PM Subject: Re: Worlds worst compliment

Yea, I remember saying I could NEVER do what my best friend does, who had a child with DS five years before me. I never thought I was insulting her...I honestly thought I couldn't do it. Having Maddie changed me in so many ways, and I like me a lot more now! I'm confident, have more faith, my relationships are stronger and more fulfilling, AND I have more rather than less patience with people who don't get it (like my prior self). My standard reply to folks who gawk at Maddie is to make eye contact, and say, "I know; isn't she beautiful". Works every time.D

I think there is a difference between people saying things and meaning well even though they may not come across the right way (especially to us) vs. those that just say stupid stuff. I agree with Shane, I was once in those shoes of not having a child with special needs. And then along came , my first child and one with special needs. Whenver I was out and saw "typical" kids I was always so envious in the beginning and wished she were "typical." I used to say to myself I hope the parents are thankful they have a child like that and not have to deal with all these other issues and how "easy" they must have it. Funny... five years later came Clara my "typical" child and she is NOT any easier than !

Heidi

Worlds worst compliment

Hi all,

We went to a fun center today and I got the worlds worst compliment over and over again. The "you're a great mom, I couldn't deal with a kid like that" and all the variations. By the end of the afternoon I just wanted to cry.

I know all the moms and grandmas making the comment were trying to be nice but every time it just made me feel worse. Partly because Aden really wasn't being that bad today. It was almost as bad as the day a coworker told me that if she had to live my life she would kill herself.

On the up side we spent 3 hours there and Aden didn't kick hit or scratch anyone else, his only meltdown was when it was time to leave, and he only opened the emergency exit door once.

I just wish it didn't bother me so much what other people say.

Mom to Aden 8 DS ASD ADHD and Aren 5 ADHD

Sent from my iPod

[Guest guest]

Donna,So totally stealing your idea. I absolutely love it!HugsSent from my iPod

Yea, I remember saying I could NEVER do what my best friend does, who had a child with DS five years before me. I never thought I was insulting her...I honestly thought I couldn't do it. Having Maddie changed me in so many ways, and I like me a lot more now! I'm confident, have more faith, my relationships are stronger and more fulfilling, AND I have more rather than less patience with people who don't get it (like my prior self). My standard reply to folks who gawk at Maddie is to make eye contact, and say, "I know; isn't she beautiful". Works every time.D

I think there is a difference between people saying things and meaning well even though they may not come across the right way (especially to us) vs. those that just say stupid stuff. I agree with Shane, I was once in those shoes of not having a child with special needs. And then along came , my first child and one with special needs. Whenver I was out and saw "typical" kids I was always so envious in the beginning and wished she were "typical." I used to say to myself I hope the parents are thankful they have a child like that and not have to deal with all these other issues and how "easy" they must have it. Funny... five years later came Clara my "typical" child and she is NOT any easier than !

Heidi

Worlds worst compliment

Hi all,

We went to a fun center today and I got the worlds worst compliment over and over again. The "you're a great mom, I couldn't deal with a kid like that" and all the variations. By the end of the afternoon I just wanted to cry.

I know all the moms and grandmas making the comment were trying to be nice but every time it just made me feel worse. Partly because Aden really wasn't being that bad today. It was almost as bad as the day a coworker told me that if she had to live my life she would kill herself.

On the up side we spent 3 hours there and Aden didn't kick hit or scratch anyone else, his only meltdown was when it was time to leave, and he only opened the emergency exit door once.

I just wish it didn't bother me so much what other people say.

Mom to Aden 8 DS ASD ADHD and Aren 5 ADHD

Sent from my iPod

=

[Guest guest]

It's up for grabs everyone, so go ahead and steal. And Irene, Maddie is 18!! I plan on using it as long as she and I are both on the planet!D

That is great, Donna. Though my brother is an adult, I will use it too. He really is beautiful -- a totally unbiased opinion!Irene's sister To: Sent: Thursday, April 12, 2012 7:28 PM Subject:

Re: Worlds worst compliment

Yea, I remember saying I could NEVER do what my best friend does, who had a child with DS five years before me. I never thought I was insulting her...I honestly thought I couldn't do it. Having Maddie changed me in so many ways, and I like me a lot more now! I'm confident, have more faith, my relationships are stronger and more fulfilling, AND I have more rather than less patience with people who don't get it (like my prior self). My standard reply to folks who gawk at Maddie is to make eye contact, and say, "I know; isn't she beautiful". Works every time.D

I think there is a difference between people saying things and meaning well even though they may not come across the right way (especially to us) vs. those that just say stupid stuff. I agree with Shane, I was once in those shoes of not having a child with special needs. And then along came , my first child and one with special needs. Whenver I was out and saw "typical" kids I was always so envious in the beginning and wished she were "typical." I used to say to myself I hope the parents are thankful they have a child like that and not have to deal with all these other issues and how "easy" they must have it. Funny... five years later came Clara my "typical" child and she is NOT any easier than !

Heidi

Worlds worst compliment

Hi all,

We went to a fun center today and I got the worlds worst compliment over and over again. The "you're a great mom, I couldn't deal with a kid like that" and all the variations. By the end of the afternoon I just wanted to cry.

I know all the moms and grandmas making the comment were trying to be nice but every time it just made me feel worse. Partly because Aden really wasn't being that bad today. It was almost as bad as the day a coworker told me that if she had to live my life she would kill herself.

On the up side we spent 3 hours there and Aden didn't kick hit or scratch anyone else, his only meltdown was when it was time to leave, and he only opened the emergency exit door once.

I just wish it didn't bother me so much what other people say.

Mom to Aden 8 DS ASD ADHD and Aren 5 ADHD

Sent from my iPod