Re: Re: greetings Kathe Sabetzadeh from ken, to Kathy..S.

[Guest guest]

Greetings, Kathy....this is ken, and I wanted to tell you what wonderful advice

you have given! Unfortunatly, I am in a wheelchair, most of the time, rom R.A.

(advanced case), but your words are right on target, and I just want to say to

you: Bravo! And Thank you!!!! love, ken, in N.C.

Pacific NW Dew <dewdrop_mealine@...> wrote:

Hi Kathe,

I just wanted you to know that your post

really hit home with me. I can seldom talk

about my problems without crying and

carrying on. I have the most considerate

husband a woman could ask for.

I can't send him an email 'cause he won't

touch a computer but I sure am going to

print this out for him.

Thanks for sharing and I'll look forward

to your posts long or otherwise.

Dew

> No, you are not the laziest person on the earth - you

> have a disease, an autoimmune system disease that does

> not just affect your joints, but affects your entire

> body, and causes fatigue. This fatigue is beyond

> being tired, taking a nap, and getting up feeling

> better. This fatigue can be overwhelming at times.

>

> You need to learn to pace yourself with your

> housework.

> I do one room at a time, in fifteen minute blocks of

> work, with rest, and then continue, to a total of one

> hour. If I am not done in one hour, I continue the

> next day. I do not push myself because I have found

> that if I do, I will be kicked in the butt the next

> day and not be able to finish what I started the day

> before.

>

> It's very hard for others to understand - you look the

> same, you sound and act the same, but inside of you,

> there is pain, stiffness, and fatigue. They can't see

> it. It's not like a wound where they can see you are

> hurt and need to take rest and heal. But that is what

> RA is. Most of us look " normal " , and do not yet need

> assistive devices, or have deformities of our joints.

> I have some finger deformities, more from OA than RA,

> but nothing that stands out, and I do use my cane at

> times to help on bad days, but otherwise I am the same

> old self. I know that people look and think, well if

> she just lost weight she would not have to hobble like

> that, well, I might not hobble as badly, but I would

> still hobble from hip, knee, ankle and foot pain that

> they cannot see.

>

> Give your husband time to wrap his head around this

> whole thing. You have been one way together for 33

> years and this is a big change. He is probably very

> worried about what is happening to his wife, and what

> is happening to your future that you had planned.

> What I did when I was first diagnosed at 45 (7 years

> ago) was to leave books around on RA that I had gotten

> from the library, so that my hubby and kids, if so

> inclined could read them, or I would read pertinent

> sections outloud to them. I also emailed my hubby

> info as it seemed like it was easier for him to read

> about it than sit and listen to me talk about it. To

> him, and myself, it sounded more like I was whining or

> complaining, so on paper the emotion was taken out.

>

> It's been seven years now, with additional diagnoses

> of Raynauds, OA and Fibromyalgia, but my family is

> rolling with the punches so to speak, and have come to

> accept mom as being slower and less energetic than she

> used to be, and they help me when I ask for it. I

> should ask for it more, but I am stubborn sometimes.

> My last stubborn time, though, two weeks ago, left me

> with second degree burns on my right hand from a pot

> of boiling water and pasta, which I was determined to

> carry to the sink and drain on my own. Bad decision

> and not one I will make again. Beware RA hands and

> big pots of boiling water lol. Ask for help when you

> need it, and pace yourself.

>

> Concentrate on the more important things in your life

> -I have found that my home can get a little messy and

> need dusting and vaccumming, but I spend more time

> talking and being with my children, now 19 and 22,

> than I did before. I have more time to read and enjoy

> my animals (I have horses, dogs, chickens and various

> fowl, and even get in a ride about once a week, body

> and weather willing - I need a step ladder and more

> help getting off and on, but I am determined to keep

> riding because I feel " normal " doing it lol). If you

> have grandchildren, focus on them, and being with your

> family. The house can wait. Try to cook things that

> you can portion up and freeze part so that the next

> time you don't feel up to cooking, you have freezer

> ready dinners. This disease causes us to adapt and

> accept limitations, but does not cause us to stop

> living.

> Kathe in CA

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