getting people to understand

[Guest guest]

Hi Angie.....So sorry to hear that you are in a flare....It's the pits isn't

it...As far as your 10 yr old ...I feel you should have a very candid talk with

him...Let him know mommy is not well and what is going on and briefly explain

what RA is....As for your co-workers...Well there is a saying, not sure whom to

quote and I more than likely am not getting it correct.. " Never share your

troubles..most won't care and the rest will be glad " ....Well I say....Share your

troubles...You have a disease that limits your abilitly to move...Your

co-workers will never know what is up with you unless you tell them...Explain

that RA is an autoimmune disease and that your body thinks your joints are

foriegn and is attacking them, Tell them that you are in a flare which happens

with RA and that it is very painful and difficult to move..and if you dare you

can add that their lucky you are working....Some will understand, some will

never understand and some will compare you with either their

symptoms or their parents/grandparents osteoarthritis...And, for those who do

not understand...well they don't walk in your shows and will never understand

the pain...At least they will know you are not lazy......I wish you the best,

Let us know what happens if you decide to share your RA with your

co-workers.....Take care...You have my support....Hugs,

Angie <angie-long@...> wrote: Does anyone have any ideas I may use to

try to get my 10 year old son

to understand that sometimes I just can't do everything I used to do.

Also does anyone have any suggestions on dealing with work. I have

been having a major flare for the last couple of weeks and it is

taking a toll on me Today i was having a lot of issues with pain so I

ended up sitting down instead of walking the playgound like a usually

do and I heard so many comments about being lazy do I give in and tel

everyone at work what is going on or do I just ignore their stupid

comments because I don't think they will understand. HOpe everyone is

having a good night.

THanks

Angie

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/31/06 7:09:11 PM, a54@... writes:

> Put rocks in your shoes and walk around for awhile.

>

> a

>

You know, I had cancer, and was lucky.

Having RA is a breeze compared to that.

It is all relative....

Hugs,

Pris

[Guest guest]

Any one have any secrets on getting people to understand exactly what

RA is and how it makes me feel.. THat I need support in other ways

then just being taken to the doctors. Any help would be greatly

appreciated as I really want and need these people to understand.

Thanks

Angie

[Guest guest]

Put rocks in your shoes and walk around for awhile.

a

On May 31, 2006, at 9:10 PM, Dawn @);- <iowadarlingforever@...>

wrote:

> Put cloths pins on your friends fingers and have them wear them all

> day doing there daily chores...they will have a new understanding

> of what we feel and how hard it is to just do the dishes sometimes.

>

> Dawn

>

> Angie <angie-long@...> wrote:

> Any one have any secrets on getting people to understand exactly

> what

> RA is and how it makes me feel.. THat I need support in other ways

> then just being taken to the doctors. Any help would be greatly

> appreciated as I really want and need these people to understand.

>

>

> Thanks

> Angie

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> Any one have any secrets on getting people to understand exactly what

> RA is and how it makes me feel.. THat I need support in other ways

> then just being taken to the doctors. Any help would be greatly

> appreciated as I really want and need these people to understand.

>

>

> Thanks

> Angie

Hi Angie

It is hard to get people to understand I think sometimes because you can

not see our pain they think it is in our head. I know someone here said

that they tell people would you understand if I were to bleed with my

pain. and yes then they would.

sometimes my family understands and other times they just get tired of

hearing it . good luck with your family .

Janet IN IL

>

[Guest guest]

I guess it depends on how bad your RA is and how bad your cancer is.

I don't think there is any comparison. I have known people that have

RA and it's affected

every joint in their body, leaving them totally bedridden, and I've

known cancer patients

that live a relatively normal life. I know people with RA and it's

affected their lungs,

giving them a poor quality of life. I know people with RA that lead a

relatively

normal life, working full time in spite of RA. Like I say, no

comparison.

a

On May 31, 2006, at 10:51 PM, NELLIESTAR@... wrote:

>

> In a message dated 5/31/06 7:09:11 PM, a54@... writes:

>

>

> > Put rocks in your shoes and walk around for awhile.

> >

> > a

> >

>

> You know, I had cancer, and was lucky.

> Having RA is a breeze compared to that.

> It is all relative....

> Hugs,

> Pris

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Or try going through an entire day without using your thumbs!

Hugs

June

----- Original Message -----

From: a Papola

Put rocks in your shoes and walk around for awhile.

a

On May 31, 2006, at 9:10 PM, Dawn @);- <iowadarlingforever@...>

wrote:

> Put cloths pins on your friends fingers and have them wear them all

> day doing there daily chores...they will have a new understanding

> of what we feel and how hard it is to just do the dishes sometimes.

>

> Dawn

>

> Angie <angie-long@...> wrote:

> Any one have any secrets on getting people to understand exactly

> what

> RA is and how it makes me feel.. THat I need support in other ways

> then just being taken to the doctors. Any help would be greatly

> appreciated as I really want and need these people to understand.

>

>

> Thanks

> Angie

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

how about putting vice grips tightly around your

wrists and wearing those all day?

'

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

To really have them understand, you'll have to get physical with them. A

hammer to the ankle one day, a twisted elbow the next, an arm tied behind

the back, maybe a tourniquet around the neck if you want to get REALLY

serious. ; )

It's really hard to get someone's attention, especially when they don't want

to. It takes time and atention almost all the time to really see the

problems you have and to understand them. My wife didn't get it for a year

or so. I still looked the same, just refused to do some of the things I used

to do. She finally got it and knows better than I how I feel at a given

time. I hope it comes soon for you. Don't try to force it on folks unless

you need to. BTDT

Dennis

Re: [ ] getting people to understand

> Put cloths pins on your friends fingers and have them wear them all day

> doing there daily chores...they will have a new understanding of what we

> feel and how hard it is to just do the dishes sometimes.

>

> Dawn

>

> Angie <angie-long@...> wrote:

> Any one have any secrets on getting people to understand exactly what

> RA is and how it makes me feel.. THat I need support in other ways

> then just being taken to the doctors. Any help would be greatly

> appreciated as I really want and need these people to understand.

>

>

> Thanks

> Angie

[Guest guest]

Or wrap ace bandages around knees and ankles real tight, so the hurt and don't

bend!

June Dixon <juner24@...> wrote: Or try going through an entire day

without using your thumbs!

Hugs

June

----- Original Message -----

From: a Papola

Put rocks in your shoes and walk around for awhile.

a

On May 31, 2006, at 9:10 PM, Dawn @);- <iowadarlingforever@...>

wrote:

> Put cloths pins on your friends fingers and have them wear them all

> day doing there daily chores...they will have a new understanding

> of what we feel and how hard it is to just do the dishes sometimes.

>

> Dawn

>

> Angie <angie-long@...> wrote:

> Any one have any secrets on getting people to understand exactly

> what

> RA is and how it makes me feel.. THat I need support in other ways

> then just being taken to the doctors. Any help would be greatly

> appreciated as I really want and need these people to understand.

>

>

> Thanks

> Angie

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> Any one have any secrets on getting people to understand exactly

what

> RA is and how it makes me feel.. THat I need support in other ways

> then just being taken to the doctors. Any help would be greatly

> appreciated as I really want and need these people to understand.

>

>

> Thanks

> Angie

>Angie--

Tell them when you hurt badly, when you need help opening a jar or

lifting the laundry. Watch for " teachable " moments. Like encouraging

ggood behavior in kids. When my husband found out I had it, he would

forget not to grab my hands in the am when I wake him up. ( I often

have to help him sit up, then he's ok for the rest of the day.)I

explained that grabbing my hand/wrist hurt me, but if he would use my

elbow or forearm it was fine. You may have to do these things many

times. Don't talk about it all the time-no one likes to be around us

all the time if we do. Including us. Many times, they mean no harm in

ignoring it, or whatever the offensive behavior is, they don't and

can't understand b/c it isn't them, plus they are scared b/c you're

sick, and they can't fix it. Men are " fixers " . If they can't fix it,

its scary.

It took me a long time to learn that.