Re: HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

[Guest guest]

I LIVE YOUR EATING TIPS LOL 'Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Subject: HOLIDAY EATING TIPSTo: " Matchinsky" Date: Wednesday, December 17, 2008, 8:30 AM

HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

Avoid

carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows

nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots,

leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

Drink

as much eggnog as you can. It's rare. You cannot find it any

other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000

calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an

eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it.

If

something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of

gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make

a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat

the volcano. Repeat.

As

for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole

milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a

sports car with an automatic transmission.

Do

not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your

eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat

other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

Under

no circumstances should you exercise between now and New

Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else

to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling

the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of

eggnog.

If

you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted

Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near

them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center

of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave

them behind, you're never going to see them again.

Same

for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each.

Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin.

Always have three. When else do you get to have more than

one dessert? Labor Day?

Did

someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory

celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some

standards.

10. One final tip:

If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the

table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but

hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with

the intention of arriving safely in an

attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways,

chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally

worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

J Matchinsky