'whine'-no cheese

[Guest guest]

Hi...I am really feeling poorly. The RA has come back with a vengeance...the

wrists and ribcage are the worst...the pain is so intense I feel nauseous. The

hands are not good either. I cannot go back on the Humira and Mtx. until the

seroma issues are resolved, and my surgeon is thinking possibly another month.

Pain meds are not helping. I am confident that once I get back on my meds

things will improve, so essentially I just need to ride out the next few weeks.

I think because I have had such good results with Humira and Mtx, and have only

had small to moderate flares the past couple years, I forgot how bad this can

be. The ribcage on the left side is awful...the pain doesn't stop, and I feel

tight in my chest. The wrists have no strength, and the pain rarely leaves. I

am not sleeping well, and need to as I am still healing from surgery. Well, I

just needed to 'whine' a little.

I am also a little discouraged as so many people ask how I am and when I reply

'tired' or 'in pain' they ask 'why?' These are folks who know I had recent

surgery and also have RA. I think it is that they want so much for me to be ok,

and they do not want to 'hear' that right now I am not. I don't understand

that, but it seems to be how some people are. However, I have spent the majority

of my life being Miss Sunshine, trying not to make waves, giving people

answers I think they want to hear, and not being honest or true to myself. I am

not a whiner, and I do not give unnecessary details. However, if someone asks

how I am, I am going to answer honestly. To do less than that feels like a

betrayal to myself.

OK, I am done. Just another bump on this journey we all walk.

Love to all...

Tess