Re: II/RDI (WAS:Re: Re: How ABAists view biom

[Guest guest]

yes, this is book is brilliant:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Intensive-Interaction-Handbook-Dave-Hewett/dp/0857024914

except for the usual caveats - not really written with parents in mind

and also written with more severe learners in mind. If you are flexible

it's pretty easy to adapt to hf kids. Very very happy to answer

questions and be sent footage - it's all good training for me.

I can send clips of Tom too if you like. He's not HF and not like

(not conversational yet really) but at least he's verbal so it might

give you more idea than the stuff you've seen which I'm guessing is all

of non-verbal people.

Sara x

p.s. you have not lost your natural maternal instinct judging by what

you say. I am very curious to know why was able to internalise play

- find internal motivation through VB. My guess WAS that it was

something to do with his original condition/ impairments but now I'm

wondering how much it has to do with you holding onto your natural

instincts and playing with him like this. I really did lose my instincts

through VB - or rather I learnt to shut them off.

THE BIG MESSAGE to all parents out there is, whatever therapy you choose

to do with your child, hold on to your maternal instincts. They have

taken literally millions of years for nature to develop and perfect, I

managed to undo all that in a couple of years :-(

If you love ABA, VB etc and see it's working for your child, consider

not doing it yourself so that your child also gets this natural input.

Either trust your natural instincts or follow a 'relationship' or 'play'

type programme in addition to the behavoiural stuff. That's my advice

anyway, fwiw.

xxx

[Guest guest]

A way round this could be to read the book first? There is a DVD too

that they could watch to replay etc. Then on the day they would

're-hear' stuff so understand it better plus getting the benefit of

watching all the additional videos that I'm assuming the speaker will be

using.

Happy to help too - if they have questions, etc for me, please send my

email address. I can send them footage of Tom too.

Sara xxx

[Guest guest]

Oh, thanks for the book link, I will be buying it.  Thanks so much Sara. I do wonder how can we know what progress would have made with no intervention?  As Vicky noted - her lad learned loads without intensive early intervention, it was just a bit later than his peers. may have been one of those kids who " naturally " learned to play, who knows. Sometimes we have screwed up so badly in our judgement that I think that he has made progress in spite of us rather than because of us.  

However, he has dyspraxia and had terrible speech dyspraxia (which Kaufman speech praxis work remediated entirely) which I can't see how it could have been remediated without intensive work but who really knows.  You are right to assume that it could have been his personality, his particular profile, which may have " set him up " to internalise the play that he was " taught " .  However one curiosity is that I know of 2 (now older) children who are " recovered " (for lack of a better word) and neither of them particularly took to " play " , in fact, I would say that neither of them ever played anything other than rote memorised classical ABA " play " but yet, there they are, typical as can be, having completely bypassed play altogether.  How is that possible?  They both are older now and involved in sports and I guess that they just skipped that whole developmental phase.  I have to say that I find that baffling. 

As far as following your mummy instinct - Before was born and in his first 18 mos my husband and I (but particularly me) were very focused on " attachment parenting " so I had had a lot of " trust your mummy instinct " pounded into my head, I had networked with other AP parents and formed AP (attachment parenting) relationships and was enrolled in a Steiner school believe it or not.  (they don't even teach the kids to read till they are 8ish in Steiner schools).  We were quite radical in our views.  I took him to Steiner playgroups, did babywearing, co-sleeping, etc.  So you can see that our decision to implement ABA/VB which is an authoritarian based intervention was truly a radical departure from our parenting " philosophy " .  While my " attachment " friends dropped like flies once we began ABA and there was no way we could endorse Steiner's views of special needs kids (IIRC it was somewhat " magical " or airy fairy view) so everything changed for us once we went ahead.  However, I have a couple of AP friends who have remained steadfast and they have helped me to try to find some balance. 

We made bad calls along the way, we failed many times being too harsh to him, in our eagerness to help him and we probably continued with an ABA/VB approach for about 6 months too long as when we started SCERTS he went through an intense decompression of sorts and we could see that emotionally we had not been supporting him in the way that he needed - some of this is because that support was outside of what a typical parent would need to provide and some of it was because we simply lacked the skills and insight.  

Also, Thanks so much for the pat on the back re the goofing around stuff, honestly, Sara, you don't know how many times I've be-rated myself at my own laziness and my own lack of " methodological progress " (puke) or whatever.  I've felt so guilty that I just do all this " goofing " with and particularly now that he is nearing 8 years old and is a big boy and we still do hours of this goofing stuff when really, of course, he " should " be moving on or whatever BS my maternal guilt ridden brain fills my mind with, you know how it is, I'm sure.  So I was quite happy and relieved when I saw II and realised that maybe what we have been doing has some meaning and maybe it's purposeful and maybe I can quit beating myself up all the time because I really like throwing him around and squashing him and making him laugh more than I like trying to teach him anything.   

I agree completely with other commenters here that have said that to put your child under stress, to deny your instincts, to act based on fear that your child will not progress if you don't " do " something that a consultant or therapist is advising you to do that you think is not ok, don't do it, follow your own instinct, relax, this is a long haul gig.  

And most of all don't let the pressure to do one or another therapy or intervention add to the already hefty parental stressors that come with being the parent of a special needs child.  Please, no regrets for any of us, this is a hard enough life without us all giving ourselves a hard time about not doing or being enough for our kids.  

 Gosh, I hope that doesn't sound patronising, I mean it will all sincerity.  agh, writing a book again.  sorry.Darla x

 

yes, this is book is brilliant:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Intensive-Interaction-Handbook-Dave-Hewett/dp/0857024914

except for the usual caveats - not really written with parents in mind

and also written with more severe learners in mind. If you are flexible

it's pretty easy to adapt to hf kids. Very very happy to answer

questions and be sent footage - it's all good training for me.

I can send clips of Tom too if you like. He's not HF and not like

(not conversational yet really) but at least he's verbal so it might

give you more idea than the stuff you've seen which I'm guessing is all

of non-verbal people.

Sara x

p.s. you have not lost your natural maternal instinct judging by what

you say. I am very curious to know why was able to internalise play

- find internal motivation through VB. My guess WAS that it was

something to do with his original condition/ impairments but now I'm

wondering how much it has to do with you holding onto your natural

instincts and playing with him like this. I really did lose my instincts

through VB - or rather I learnt to shut them off.

THE BIG MESSAGE to all parents out there is, whatever therapy you choose

to do with your child, hold on to your maternal instincts. They have

taken literally millions of years for nature to develop and perfect, I

managed to undo all that in a couple of years :-(

If you love ABA, VB etc and see it's working for your child, consider

not doing it yourself so that your child also gets this natural input.

Either trust your natural instincts or follow a 'relationship' or 'play'

type programme in addition to the behavoiural stuff. That's my advice

anyway, fwiw.

xxx