Guest guest Posted October 11, 2006 Report Share Posted October 11, 2006 Hi again. Is there anyone out there with RA that is single? I ask because I am single and feel depressed that I will always be so. Normaly I keep high spirits, but there are times that I get depressed and think that I will never find someone who would want to be with a cripple. I may not be totally cripped yet, but I feel it. Am I the only one? Please send me an email to reply. Thanks for letting me vent. Janet W. Illinois Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2006 Report Share Posted October 11, 2006 Hi Janet, I am single and I know exactly how you feel. I have dated a few men, but they seem to shy away when they know what is wrong with me. When I was diagnosed I was going with a man who stuck by me for 6 months (which was actually the worst part of it so far) and then out of the blue he said he could not handle the disease anymore. I still do believe there is someone out there for everybody. In fact I have a date this weekend with a very nice guy. So cross your fingers for me. Vicky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2006 Report Share Posted October 11, 2006 Hi Janet, Although I am married to a great man I still get lonely, too. I have no local friends but do have two good email ones. Day time is worse because I don't talk to anyone but store clerks. It's ok to email private. Debbie L > > Hi again. Is there anyone out there with RA that is single? I ask > because I am single and feel depressed that I will always be so. > Normaly I keep high spirits, but there are times that I get depressed > and think that I will never find someone who would want to be with a > cripple. I may not be totally cripped yet, but I feel it. Am I the > only one? Please send me an email to reply. Thanks for letting me vent. > Janet W. > Illinois > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2006 Report Share Posted October 11, 2006 I'm married to a great man also, 54 years. We live in a big house and run a small business there. There are days that people ask for him I don't know wheather he is home or not! One thing we always do though is have lunch together except on very, rare extreame circumstances. So I get lonely also. Betty [ ] Re: Alone > > Hi Janet, > > Although I am married to a great man I still get lonely, too. I have no > local friends but do have two good email ones. Day time is worse > because I don't talk to anyone but store clerks. It's ok to email > private. > > Debbie L hi, Debbie Glad to hear I am not the only married to a great man who is lonely during the day My DH just does not understand when I say that some days I have only spoken to the store clerks <G> Please email me directly at nnfoster@... and we can talk nancy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2006 Report Share Posted October 11, 2006 Dear Janet: I've had RA 43 years and have been single almost 30 of them. Though I did raise a daughter during 18 of those 43. Yes, it is a lonesome lifestyle. But we learn to fill our life with pleasures other than personal interaction with other people. Hobbies and pets and gardens are vital to keep a good perspective on your life. Find a hobby you enjoy and will provide you with a creative outlet and also, give you something to show for your time. Perhaps art, photography, needlework, sewing, crafting and the like will lead you to show/sell your wares at a small christmas/church bizarre where you can meet new people. Volunteering keeps one in contact with the " outside " world. And provides us with another perspective, showing us there is always someone worse off than ourselves. Small dogs are a great comfort and they will give you a focus other than yourself. A garden provides so much peace and beauty and natural wildlife not to mention all the fresh air and exercise. Don't dwell on your singleness, instead, fill it with all the world has to offer. Rejoice that we have the internet. Before the web, when I would be awake at night that was lonely, before cable, when TV went off the air at 1 or 2 am...couldn't sleep, no one to talk to, no computers. Couldn't go anywhere, everything was closed. Alone in the night. That was loneliness. That was isolation. That was scary. Those were long, desperate, soul-searching nights. But I came to my epiphany during one of those nights. Didn't matter what I did, it was going to hurt, so I might as well get out there and live it up anyway. The RA was going to hurt and, inhibit my life sitting at home, it was going to hurt and inhibit my life (somewhat) if I was walking around a museaum, joining peers for happy hour, riding on the back of a a motorcycle. I'd rather hurt while having fun, than hurt at home alone. You learn to laugh through the tears and appreciate the absurdity of it all. Hang in there, you're going to be fine. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 12, 2006 Report Share Posted October 12, 2006 Hi, I'm single and always have been (I'm 58), and I have a very limited social life. When I first started working at home I was delighted, but after about a year or less, depression set in. It took another year with a therapist before I realized that my depression was caused by isolation. I'm still with the therapist, and I am trying to get more social. Joining this group was a good start. Anyway, my therapist assures me that my inability to walk normally won't prevent me from making friends. She put it this way: would I want to know someone who would be repulsed by my condition? What kind of person would he or she be? My answer is, no one I'd want to know! > > Hi again. Is there anyone out there with RA that is single? I ask > because I am single and feel depressed that I will always be so. > Normaly I keep high spirits, but there are times that I get depressed > and think that I will never find someone who would want to be with a > cripple. I may not be totally cripped yet, but I feel it. Am I the > only one? Please send me an email to reply. Thanks for letting me vent. > Janet W. > Illinois > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 12, 2006 Report Share Posted October 12, 2006 Wow Betty!!! 54 years to your husband! He must be very special and you have a great relationship. Mine is my best friend. He comes home for lunch every day which is nice. We have been married for 16 years. Sorry to hear you still get lonely, too. Debbie L > > I'm married to a great man also, 54 years. We live in a big house and run a small business there. There are days that people ask for him I don't know wheather he is home or not! One thing we always do though is have lunch together except on very, rare extreame circumstances. So I get lonely also. > Betty > [ ] Re: Alone > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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