update

[Guest guest]

My sister lost her husband in May 2004, the same year my 11 year old daughter

was diagnosed with OCD.  In December of the year she spent a visit screaming at

me that my decision to put Kati on luvox wasn't even comparably stressful to the

loss of her husband ( I wasn't comparing I was just explaining that as a single

parent I was my daughter's only advocate and this was a very big decision). 

Then she said Kati was nervous because I was anxiety ridden.  I am the one in

my family without anxiety, almost always calm.  I stopped talking to her

about anything to do with my daughter for 4 years.  Then when she was going to

spend a week at my sister's house, I had to explain to my sister, what was going

on.  I started by explaining that OCD is an imbalance between adrenaline and

seratonin.  Then I asked what thing on earth grossed her out the most. 

(Snakes) I said, OK, now imagine that you have to hold a snake in your hand for

5 or ten minutes.  I

asked her to try to imagine the level of discomfort she would experience. 

Then I explained that that was the level of discomfort my daughter experienced

when someone insisted she wear " contaminated " clothes or sit on " contaminated "

furniture, etc, etc.  She now 'gets' part of it, but I did put my foot down adn

say this is not my fault, and she had no right to blame me.

 

There was a book a long time ago called Toxic Parents - in the end it said if

your parents aren't helpful (or at least not making things constantly worse for

you) they're history.  You must stay calm for your child's sake, anything that

gets in the way of that goal needs to take a hike.  That's your job as parent,

to keep your children safe and calm.  As for yourself, imagine that you are

your own parent.  What advice would you give yourself?  How would you be your

own best parent?  If you can look at it from that more nurturing standpoint, it

becomes easier to do.  Your mom must have had a hell of childhood to be so not

understanding, but she's a grown up - she will have to decide for herself how to

be HER own best parent.  The two may not coincide.

 

Hope this helps.

M

Subject: Re: Update

To:

Date: Friday, February 26, 2010, 9:16 AM

 

Thanks everyone for the support. I am so happy I found you all. It makes this a

little easier on me after his appointment the other day.

My boyfriend is not the father of my children, although the boys don't know any

better and even call him Dad - their real dad is not in their lives at all.

has been with us for over a year now. Anyway, he seems to be dealing with this

much better then I am. We were talking last night about it and he said he thinks

he is having an easier time because he is not dealing with his own anxiety.

Makes sense. I have anxiety and when Austin's is high, mine shoots through the

roof and it makes for a rough day around here.

My Mom is another story. How do you deal with the family members that just don't

get it? I wasn't diagnosed young but I remember having issues very young. When I

was diagnosed though, my Mom was ... well, not very supportive. She told me to

stop. She thought it was all under my control. Well, now she is telling me that

I should ignore Austin's behavior or it will get worse. And Austin spent the

night with her the other night and she made the comment that he is getting " too

weird " for her. That hurts. I am not sure what to do at this point. My boyfriend

said that I need to tell her that if she can not be more supportive with this

than her contact with Austin is going to be decreased until he learns how to

deal better. I agree, but it is hard to do.

> >

> > My son had his doctor appointment yesterday. He is being referred to a

childhood behavioral specialist because he is showing classic OCD symptoms.

While I was expecting this, I was also hoping that the doctor would tell us that

it was all in MY head and that my baby is fine. No such luck. I guess I am happy

that we are catching it early, but I am still sad that he is having to go

through this.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I don't know how old your mom is, but many in older generations were raised to

believe mental illness was a personal weakness or something you didn't talk

about, or both. My mom is in her mid-70s and has subclinical symptoms of OCD, I

was diagnosed as a young adult living on my own (so they did not see me daily at

my worst), and my dd was diagnosed at age 8 although she had some symptoms

earlier and other difficulties. Grandparents often don't get many of the things

that we do with our kids that are different than what they did, they don't

understand mental health issues, and they may also feel some guilt if the

anxiety issues come from their side of the family. That may also explain why

your boyfriend is having an easier time; he doesn't feel any guilt. You are not

guilty either, but it is hard not to feel badly about passing on something to

you kids; I have been there when we first suspected my dd had OCD.

Hang in there, and do limit contact with grandma if need be. You can try

explaining first, but if she can't/won't get it, you have to protect your son.

(mom w/OCD, 9 yo dd w/OCD)

>

> Subject: Re: Update

> To:

> Date: Friday, February 26, 2010, 9:16 AM

> Thanks everyone for the support. I am

> so happy I found you all. It makes this a little easier on

> me after his appointment the other day.

>

> My boyfriend is not the father of my children, although the

> boys don't know any better and even call him Dad - their

> real dad is not in their lives at all. has been with us

> for over a year now. Anyway, he seems to be dealing with

> this much better then I am. We were talking last night about

> it and he said he thinks he is having an easier time because

> he is not dealing with his own anxiety. Makes sense. I have

> anxiety and when Austin's is high, mine shoots through the

> roof and it makes for a rough day around here.

>

> My Mom is another story. How do you deal with the family

> members that just don't get it? I wasn't diagnosed young but

> I remember having issues very young. When I was diagnosed

> though, my Mom was ... well, not very supportive. She told

> me to stop. She thought it was all under my control. Well,

> now she is telling me that I should ignore Austin's behavior

> or it will get worse. And Austin spent the night with her

> the other night and she made the comment that he is getting

> " too weird " for her. That hurts. I am not sure what to do at

> this point. My boyfriend said that I need to tell her that

> if she can not be more supportive with this than her contact

> with Austin is going to be decreased until he learns how to

> deal better. I agree, but it is hard to do.

>

>

>

>

> > >

> > > My son had his doctor appointment yesterday. He

> is being referred to a childhood behavioral specialist

> because he is showing classic OCD symptoms. While I was

> expecting this, I was also hoping that the doctor would tell

> us that it was all in MY head and that my baby is fine. No

> such luck. I guess I am happy that we are catching it early,

> but I am still sad that he is having to go through this.

> > >

> >

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

How old is your son?

Update

To:

> My son had his doctor appointment yesterday. He is being

> referred to a childhood behavioral specialist because he is

> showing classic OCD symptoms. While I was expecting this, I was

> also hoping that the doctor would tell us that it was all in MY

> head and that my baby is fine. No such luck. I guess I am happy

> that we are catching it early, but I am still sad that he is

> having to go through this.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I know when my son was diagnosed it was so hard. Even though I knew what it was

the words were so hard to here, so hard to accept. Looking back over the past

several years I am grateful that we heard those words so early. We were given an

opportunity to take control of this horrible thing so early so hopefully we cam

helpy son get a handle on it sooner rather than later. My son often expresses

that he hates having OCD, but we have tried to work with him on this just being

one part of him and that all the things he is learning in therapy will make him

so much stronger. Hope that helps, although I know there are really no words to

take this pain away. Take care.

-

Sent from my iPhone

[Guest guest]

It's a hard thing to hear, especially for someone whose lived it like you have.

It is a sad thing to know this is the road they have to go down. But, you are

catching it young and have the opportunity to work on it before it has the

chance to grow and become ingrained. So, that's a good thing. You will be able

to recognize things as OCD and get to work on them right away, using the tools

needed to try to keep it from taking over.

Concerning your Mom. . . It is hard when they don't understand. I took

criticism for years, being told I was a bad mother and my child was a brat. I

didn't know our son had OCD at the time, but realized something wasn't right.

It was very hurtful, because I was doing everything I could think of (including

taking advice from therapists who had no clue) to try to help him. He didn't

respond to what would be considered normal parenting techniques, or normal

therapy techniques. As I've learned more about it, I've tried to teach them

too, when the opportunity arises. One thing that made an impression on them was

explaining that it is a neurobiological disorder. . .That his brain does not

function the same way as someone without OCD. You can't blame someone for that

anymore than you can blame someone whose pancreas doesn't work correctly.

Sometimes it seems people just don't get it though, unless they live it.

BJ

>

> My son had his doctor appointment yesterday. He is being referred to a

childhood behavioral specialist because he is showing classic OCD symptoms.

While I was expecting this, I was also hoping that the doctor would tell us that

it was all in MY head and that my baby is fine. No such luck. I guess I am happy

that we are catching it early, but I am still sad that he is having to go

through this.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi all,I'm still doing the same: walking, cycling, CLX.  I've been letting 2 days go in between CLX sessions. My goal is to get back to doing it every other day. I've had an interesting revelation using this fitbit. I almost always have wakeful moments at night (the tinnitus), and the fitbit sleep tracker has been a revelation. It used to stress me out waking up like that because it felt like I was having a bad night. Going back over my records, I can see the wakeful times, but I can also see that I sleep pretty hard the rest of the night. This thing totals the amount of time you've actually slept, and it's usually 7-8 hours. That's plenty.

The revelation is that I actually do get enough hours of sleep even though I almost wake up a few times. Just knowing this makes it easier for me to fall back asleep. This is simply because I'm no longer annoyed by it. I think it used to be harder to go back to sleep because of the emotional aspect.

Hope you're all doing great! Will catch up later.

[Guest guest]

yea.. I love that option on Fitbit and why I got fitbit over other similar devices.. what I notice is that on nights that both dogs start with me on bed I am fine but when one is there and another joins I seem to wake up more. I think it is due to them moving around.. of course I thought slept well last night but looks like only 4 hours..yikes.. I need at min 6-7!judy To: exercisevideos

Sent: Wednesday, February 29, 2012 9:43 AM Subject: update

Hi all,I'm still doing the same: walking, cycling, CLX. I've been letting 2 days go in between CLX sessions. My goal is to get back to doing it every other day. I've had an interesting revelation using this fitbit. I almost always have wakeful moments at night (the tinnitus), and the fitbit sleep tracker has been a revelation. It used to stress me out waking up like that because it felt like I was having a bad night. Going back over my records, I can see the wakeful times, but I can also see that I sleep pretty hard the rest of the night. This thing totals the amount of time you've actually slept, and it's usually 7-8 hours. That's plenty.

The revelation is that I actually do get enough hours of sleep even though I almost wake up a few times. Just knowing this makes it easier for me to fall back asleep. This is simply because I'm no longer annoyed by it. I think it used to be harder to go back to sleep because of the emotional aspect.

Hope you're all doing great! Will catch up later.