Re: This is Ken..Woof, am I sick! I mean, REALLY SICK!! that's why I haven't posted!!

[Guest guest]

I'm very sorry to hear that you are so darn sick, Ken! I'm praying for you.

Not an MD

I'll tell you where to go!

Mayo Clinic in Rochester

http://www.mayoclinic.org/rochester

s Hopkins Medicine

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org

[ ] This is Ken..Woof, am I sick! I mean, REALLY SICK!!

that's why I haven't posted!!

> Greetings, all!

> Man, am I sick! Been sick, now, for some time! I mean,

> knee walking, commode hugging make the dog gag sick! My wife says all I

> got is a cold, but I NEVER been this sick, with just a cold! We get a lot

> of " tourists " to our mountains, and with MY luck, some diaper-on-his

> head-robe wearing foreigner,who's jealous we have such a beautiful place

> to live,and hell bent on taking a lot of Yankee Americans WITH him when

> he " checks out " probably brought some exotic typhoid-diphtheria-berry

> berry-kill-em-all-disease with him, and GAVE it to me!!!

> Woof! I look worse than the coon dog's dinner, left out in the

> rain for three days, and I feel badder than those crunchy Tootsie rolls

> the dog eats outa the kitty litter box!! As a matter of fact I am so

> sick,that it's probably against the laws of nature,and I'm lucky the cops

> don't enforce those laws!

> And my eyes! Woof! All I can say is it's a lucky thing my

> mountains aint in Transylvania,'cause they're so red, if the local

> populace seen 'em, they'd probably say " Well, boys, crank 'er up, we gotta

> nother one " , and mistake me for a Vampire, and try to drive a stake thru

> my heart, which would probably be an improvement, the way I feel now!

> This aint no " ordinary cold, it just can't be!!

> I mean I am so sick I am just about morgue-ready,next

> on-the-coroner's list sick,and I don't know if I'll ever see that dang

> coon dog again, 'cause when I went to the back porch,he went ki-yi-ing off

> into the woods, looking behind him, at me, and that dang dog is so stupid,

> he probably ran head first into some pine tree, and busted his silly head!

> Let me tell you how stupid this dog is!!

> When I first got him, as a pup, I tried to " house-break

> him " .....All my " cabin's got are ground floor windows, and it was summer,

> so the windows were open...this silly mutt would just squat right in front

> of me, and " take a dump " , which was quite an awful stench! Well, I knew it

> wouldn't hurt him none if I just threw him out the window, to " let him

> know " that this kind of doggy business would not be tolerated in the

> house, and ,after all, it was only a three foot drop! Well.....we did

> " convince " the paper boy to deliver the Sunday Paper up here, to us, and I

> know what I'm about to tell you happened on Sunday, 'cause I

> was " practicing my ciphering " , so to speak, reading the comics....well,

> this sorry excuse for a coon dog did somethin to attract my attention, I

> disremember just exactly what, but, I lowered the paper enough to see over

> it, and this silly mutt saw he had my attention,promptly " took a dump " ,

> and then JUMPED OUT THE DANGED WINDOW!!!! That ended the dog's EVER

> coming in the house again!( altho the donkey did follow me in the back

> door, a time or two,and if you ever tried to " convince " a donkey, who

> promptly sat down,when you tried to push him back outside, you know it's a

> job that requires two men, and a red-haired stepchild!!!!)

> I never could convince that dadgummed donkey he was NOT a indoor

> family pet! When he was " in " , by gar, he was IN!.(He even tried to back

> up, and sit on my lap one time, and then turned his head and GRINNED at

> me!!!!)

> But...I digress: I was telling you how sick, with this

> danged cold! Woof, am I sick! I'm so sick, I don't think even

> antibiotics would work! (OR, Uncle biotics!) They'ed take one look at

> whatever is floating around in my bloodstream, and Boogie for the nearest

> exit, which just happens to be my nose! Man, my nose is a running so bad,

> it'd put a waterfall to shame,and it'd just have to dry up,and hang it's

> lil'waterfall head in disgrace! ( That reminds me of those two little

> sperms, what was running in some woman's body! The first one said to the

> other one " How far to the womb? " , and that one said to the Other one " Man,

> we gotta long way to go...we only just now passed the tonsills! )

> All I can say is, it's a lucky thing I live so far from

> Atlanta, down in Georgia, 'cause if they got wind of this dagnabbit

> " cold " (haha) I got, that there centre for disease control, and epidemics,

> and such woulda already covered my lil cabin with a tent, and they'ed be

> walking 'round in them funny white suits what got a helmet an face plate,

> an an oxygen tank on the back, out re-routing traffic out on the

> interstate!!!!

> And, to make matters even worse, my wife, whom I don't MIND

> sitting on my lap, doue this " Home Health Care " job, and all this week

> she been working at night, leaving me to fend for myself!

> I wouldn't mind so much, 'cepting my cooking, which is so

> bad, that the LAST time I tried to whip up something to eat, the next

> morning, I woke up, went into the kitchen, and there stood this cockroach,

> by the left-overs, taking a Alka Seltzer!

> Thank God for cereal, and milk! Ya just can't mess that up

> too bad,(tho she DID get a little peeved, when she caught me using a can

> of Budwiser,over my cereal, 'stead of milk!)

> All I know, is I am sick! I'm sicker then that " Frisbee Possum "

> we found, once, out on the big road! ( They call 'em " Frisbee Possums.

> 'cause if ya can scrape 'em off the highway, after about a million trucks

> have run over them, ya can use 'em for a Frisbee!)

> (You gotta wash yer hands off real good, after you use 'em, tho',

> 'cause they stink something awful!!)

> Well, Thanks fer listening to my dying declaration of how sick I

> am! I'm gonna go an write my " Last Will, and Testement " , afore I go an lay

> down....I'm afraid my wife'll come home an find me, in the morning, just

> as frozen stiff as that big ol kingfish Uncle caught that time he

> went to the ocean, and stuck in the freezer, and fergot fer three years!

> My Wife says I belong to " Hypochondriacs Anonomous " , and our

> Saying is " Why have a cut, when ya can have a Hemmorage? She just don't

> know! You know what the WORST part of all this is? I am normally a very

> clean guy! I mean, I take a shower every saturday night, whether I need

> one or not, and I ALWAYS brush my teeth and gargle every morning, but this

> dad gummed " cold " has given me breath like a good, healthy, Buffalo

> Fart!!! Woof!!!

> And ya know what REALLY gets my goat! (if I had one)

> A Woman can catch the very same thing, and just keep on trucking, and it

> lays us dudes flat out! Woof!! Anyone wanna pray for me, it'd sure be

> welcome!

> Well, Ima gonna go and lay down and die now!

> All my love to all of you........ken

[Guest guest]

>

> Greetings, all!

> Man, am I sick! Been sick, now, for some time! I

mean, knee walking, commode hugging make the dog gag sick! My wife

says all I got is a cold, but I NEVER been this sick, with just a

cold! snipppppp....Well, Ima gonna go and lay down and die now!

> All my love to all of you........ken

>

Hello, Ken; I am pretty new to this group and trying to get a sence

of what and who is going on here and have enjpyed what poats I have

had time to read.

came across this one and , mercy! I was about to get up ad go order

some lillies for you, but i then found a later eddition and see that

you are back and still kick'n! great!

My fingers don't mind me too well or maybe its the keys on this lil

ole computer! so I am going to quit trying to edit this t a perfect

itterary post.

speaking of litterary, i read your self imposed dilema about pros or

not prose. I say self imposed as you needn't worry about whether

prose or rhyming. If you enjoy it, it's not hurting any one so " do

hwat you wanna do! " Seems like every e on the group ae happy with

it. I wsn't able to locate but one of your poems and I thought it

quite neat. If you want to try prose it may be fun just for the

heck of it, but again, " do what you wanna do " The most importan bit

of prose Iknow of is The Lords prayer and 23rd Psalms.

they both have good rythm.

I am abou to fall asleep and my knee is now painfully paralyzed It

will take me a while toget up so I'd better get started before i

fall on the computer!

God bless.

leo/lee