Re: Feeling depressed...foot not healing and personal problems

[Guest guest]

Hi All...

Well...I am back in my cast...and not very happy about it. The foot isn't

healing so I am now back in a cast...again. I have been so darn depressed the

past few weeks...ever since the doc put me back in a cast again. It then spills

over into my personal life and my wife doesn't know what to do with me. Of

course me not being able to work has caused money problems and my wife then

blames me for that too. To the point that if I had a way, I would pack up and

leave. Being in pain almost 24-7 makes it so difficult to make sense of just

about anything in my life right now. When my foot isn't hurting, my left knee

is...my bad knee. I can't wear my knee brace because of the cast, so it stays

swollen and hurts all the time. Then, when I can get around, my right hip and

leg muscles hurt all the time from the stress of having to take all the load

from my left side. So even when I just walk my dogs...I am in so much pain...its

almost unbearable. My wife just won't listen to

me...and I don't know what to do.

Well..thanks for at least being here to listen....

Larry Holmack

KarLa Bichon Frise

Now in Houston Texas Bichondaddy1057@...

---------------------------------

Ring'em or ping'em. Make PC-to-phone calls as low as 1¢/min with

Messenger with Voice.

[Guest guest]

Hi Larry,

One thing that might help with your wife is making sure that despite

the enormous challenges you're going through, you make sure to show

interest in her (ask questions) and to say some kind and caring

words. A little sugar can go a long way.

Sierra

>

> Hi All...

>

> Well...I am back in my cast...and not very happy about it. The

foot isn't healing so I am now back in a cast...again. I have been so

darn depressed the past few weeks...ever since the doc put me back in

a cast again. It then spills over into my personal life and my wife

doesn't know what to do with me. Of course me not being able to work

has caused money problems and my wife then blames me for that too. To

the point that if I had a way, I would pack up and leave. Being in

pain almost 24-7 makes it so difficult to make sense of just about

anything in my life right now. When my foot isn't hurting, my left

knee is...my bad knee. I can't wear my knee brace because of the

cast, so it stays swollen and hurts all the time. Then, when I can

get around, my right hip and leg muscles hurt all the time from the

stress of having to take all the load from my left side. So even when

I just walk my dogs...I am in so much pain...its almost unbearable.

My wife just won't listen to

> me...and I don't know what to do.

>

> Well..thanks for at least being here to listen....

>

>

>

>

> Larry Holmack

> KarLa Bichon Frise

> Now in Houston Texas Bichondaddy1057@...

>

> ---------------------------------

> Ring'em or ping'em. Make PC-to-phone calls as low as 1¢/min with

Messenger with Voice.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Larry,

So sorry to hear that the doc put you in a cast again. Hopefully, it

hasn't been to hard on you with the flooding we are hearing about in the Houston

area.

Not only do we deal with immense pain on a daily basis we must also deal with

a great deal of immobility. I just can't imagine having the discomfort of a cast

to deal with at the same time, particularly with the Houston humidity, it must

be awful for you. Some days it takes me several hours after I take my meds

before I am able to do anything. I take my meds and read the paper until I can

function. Some days the entire paper gets read, sports page and all.

Larry it is very understandable that you feel depressed. I am sure that

it pains you greatly to see the financial struggle your family is now in. I am

sure you would prefer to be productive, working and bringing home the bacon as

they say. However, at this time that is not possible, and your wife needs to

step up to the plate, understand this fact and not blame you. It is not your

fault. So quit kicking yourself in the you know where with your good foot.

Perhaps, your wife would be willing to read our posts. If she sees that you

are not alone, that there are many of us in pain everyday, frustrated and hating

every minute of it as you do, praying everyday that it would all go away, then

maybe she will understand and be more tolerant and loving toward you.

It is so hard not to have an understanding family, it just adds to the

stress that our ailing bodies are already under, and stress is never good.

Stress plays such a factor in how we feel everyday, particularly those with

autoimmune diseases.

I pray that your foot heals quickly so that you can be cast free and

mobile once again. I pray that your wife will come to her senses and understand

the pain, frustration and depression you are going through. Always remember

that we are here for you and care about you. Take care, Hugs

.

Larry Holmack <bichondaddy1057@...> wrote:

Hi All...

Well...I am back in my cast...and not very happy about it. The foot isn't

healing so I am now back in a cast...again. I have been so darn depressed the

past few weeks...ever since the doc put me back in a cast again. It then spills

over into my personal life and my wife doesn't know what to do with me. Of

course me not being able to work has caused money problems and my wife then

blames me for that too. To the point that if I had a way, I would pack up and

leave. Being in pain almost 24-7 makes it so difficult to make sense of just

about anything in my life right now. When my foot isn't hurting, my left knee

is...my bad knee. I can't wear my knee brace because of the cast, so it stays

swollen and hurts all the time. Then, when I can get around, my right hip and

leg muscles hurt all the time from the stress of having to take all the load

from my left side. So even when I just walk my dogs...I am in so much pain...its

almost unbearable. My wife just won't listen to

me...and I don't know what to do.

Well..thanks for at least being here to listen....

Larry Holmack

KarLa Bichon Frise

Now in Houston Texas Bichondaddy1057@...

---------------------------------

Ring'em or ping'em. Make PC-to-phone calls as low as 1¢/min with

Messenger with Voice.

[Guest guest]

Hi Larry,

I am having a huge flare so will try to keep it short, but a lot of the

emotions you shared with the group ring true for me as well on occasion. Flare

days give you more time to think and too much time on your hands can sometimes

bring on emotions we never had to deal with before.

I am sorry for your situation with the cast, healing slowly, and lack of

spousal support. I know for you to mention these things here things must be

really bad and I am sure you left out many details for her protection. I do the

same. Unfortunately, I am not sure if we can pass on understanding of this

condition to people who have not been there. I am a firm believer people do not

understand situations until they have lived the exact same thing. Even here

and other support groups as well you cannot always convey your situation because

we have varying degrees of RA and some still lead very active lives or the RA is

under control and some of us are severely crippled by it and housebound. Some

respond very well to their meds, and have wonderful situations and support at

home. Some of us have difficult to treat or out-of-control RA just (as other

conditons can be such as diabetes )and some have very bad support at home. And

when non RA'ers see the commercials about

Enbrel and Humira, they wonder why we are not cured like those people on the

commercials. Some even believe that Aleve should take care of all of the pain

from my experience. Their brains cannot comprehend the severity, nor could I

before getting the condition. No one could have ever explained to me what it is

like. We just hope we marry well and not in the wealthy sense but that the

spouse is there for the long haul and up for any challenge. That isn't always

the case. And people have different perspectives on what a marriage should look

like, different opinions on how a marriage stays together and what the spouse

wants. Some say as long as the love life is okay. Well that isn't always the

answer which some like to believe it’s the magic pill. Many can get that

elsewhere and some actually do. So far each time I have made up my mind and

moved on with my life someone died or almost dies which sends me back to ground

zero. I lost my mom, daughter, and been

hospitalized (pulmonary embolism, and many other things) within the last 2

years. So I have decided to get my finances in order, train for something else,

and change me for the better. Become as independent as I can first. Because

that's all we can change anyway -- ourselves. So baby steps towards a better

quality of life for you with or without another person in your life -- in my

opinion. The stress is worse than having a disease. I always say as long as I

am still breathing there is hope. I try to keep that in mind and keep pushing

forward. I am still recovering but I am hopeful and optimistic.

Peace, hope, and healing to you.

Ebony

---------------------------------

Want to be your own boss? Learn how on Small Business.